Ask Better Questions“Years ago, when I went through a divorce, I found myself one day looking in the mirror,” Yalden said. “When I looked in the mirror, I said, ‘What did I have to do with this?’” He said it would have been easy to blame is ex, or on family, money or many other things – and sometimes we all do that. But instead, Yalden had a heart-to-heart right there in the mirror, and he asked himself what he had to do with the marriage not going right. Since then, Yalden said that whenever something is not right in certain situations or circumstances, he has continued to go to the mirror to ask what he had to do with these things. “Whether it’s good or bad, whether you are successful or have failed at something – you have something to do with that,” he said. He said you might not be the reason this happened, but you have responsibility for how you move forward. You are responsible for your emotions, your attitude and your choices. “Are you going to be bitter and angry through this, or are you going to choose to become better? Are you a victim of situations and circumstances, or are you a victor?” Learn to ask better questions. Change the quality of the questions you ask from “why me” to “how can I.” “Here’s something even better: How can I be more present and engaged in my day?” Yalden believes [and so should you] that everything that we go through in life molds us into the person of character that we are meant to be. Character. Significance. Influence. Success. “If you are a person that claims to be the victim, I think you need to spend more time in front of the mirror and taking responsibility.” If you are bitter and angry in situations, Yalden said there are two causes for this:
- You haven’t learned to accept responsibility for the things you need to take responsibility for.
- You haven’t allowed yourself to be free and forgive both others and yourself.