If you know anything about me, you know that I’m a very transparent kind of guy: I am diagnosed with depression, bi-polar type 2, and PTSD. I’ve always been honest and real because I know that earns trust and respect from my audiences. The reason I’ve been able to connect with so many directly relates to my personal understanding of how broken they feel, what they are going through, and where they’ve been emotionally and/or physically.
What I do is delicate. There is no “one size fits all” rule book on how to help people release emotions, have a better understanding of mental health, or prevent suicide. Sometimes I’m called in to offer support to an existing system, but most often, the communities I visit recognize that something needs to change. I am commonly asked to “shake things up” in order to help families. In order to save lives.
Over the years, I have been commissioned to address situations that most of you cannot comprehend. I am proud to say that I know I’ve helped people. I know I have saved lives. And every single life improved or saved is a blessing to me. This is my life’s calling. There is so much more that I want to do. There is so much more that I need to do.
By accepting this challenging task, this career of speaking about mental health and suicide, I’ve ruffled some feathers. These are delicate topics. More than once, I have been the recipient of criticism. The topic of mental health alone can trigger feelings for anyone not ready to talk about it. For every disparaging remark, I’ve had hundreds of positive comments. Hundreds. Yet isn’t it human nature to focus on the negative?
I want to share with you – I need to share with you – what happened after one of my talks.
In May of 2019, I was called into a community in Wisconsin. In discussing the needs of the students and staff, a schedule was created for my visit. I always cater my presentations to the specific requests of the school or community, and this district visit was no different. The day started with a morning meeting with the school’s administration; several of them said (repeatedly) how excited they were to have me and how desperately their students needed to hear my message.
This particular event took place in a high school gymnasium with approximately 2,000 students in attendance. Considering the delicate nature of the topics I discuss, I deem it essential to have all students on one side of a venue, but unfortunately this gymnasium did not provide this. I am an animated, confident speaker; I am passionate about my message. I am not someone who stands in front of a lectern to convey a message or present a canned, fabricated talk to teens. I prefer to make eye contact; I prefer not to have my back to anyone in my audience; I prefer to face my audience, the entire audience, so that I can gauge their reactions and determine how I can best make a meaningful connection with them. However, on this particular day, I had 1,000 students in bleachers on either side of me. Still, I considered it to be an excellent talk. I was with those kids for nearly two hours, and during those two hours I had no idea that a firestorm was brewing.
I learned hours later that one of the students texted her mother during the assembly. She reported that they were locked in the gymnasium for two hours and were not permitted to leave. The result? Her mother called 911 and the first match was lit.
The second match was lit unintentionally by a young man with autism. This particular student was in the gymnasium that day, even though he had just been released from a psychiatric hospital. The nature of my talk was clearly communicated to the school community and attendance was certainly not mandatory, yet this fragile young man was in my audience. It was too much for him mentally; he found the school psychologist right there in the bleachers and he was concerned about his stability. He called 911.
I had no idea; I moved on to the next part of my day which was working with the counselors and meeting individual students.
Even though every school provides counselors for their students, sometimes it takes the stories from a stranger to bring a student’s walls down. I don’t know their families. I don’t know where they live, what church they attend (or don’t attend) – I am Switzerland. A completely neutral party… but I am someone who gets it. This happens at every school I visit and that’s the point – to get students comfortable enough to share their personal challenges or tragedies. This school was no different. After the assembly, students lined up in droves to talk to me. I had several incredible talks with students; changes were made and I’m confident that lives were saved.
You know how things tend to happen in groups of three? While I sat with the school counselors listening to stories of abuse, rape, depression, and hopelessness, a third match ignited.
In their classes, two teachers shared their disapproval of the assembly, openly criticizing me; one even called me a “douchebag” in class.
Several students shared that they had loved the speaker, and they didn’t understand how their teachers could be so disparaging. The school administrators quickly became aware and the teachers were reprimanded, but it was too late. That third match was lit and the fire spread unchecked.
The reaction to my talk in Wisconsin escalated out of control. A cyber campaign began which attacked not only my reputation, but also my personal life, my family, and my assistant. I received ugly tweets, condemning reviews, and threatening emails (many from people who weren’t even present during the event).
This relentless assault via Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, voicemails, webform submissions, and text messaging caught the attention of the local media and the school administrative team was forced 
to make a public statement.
You know what’s interesting? I also received several messages detailing similar situations to mine: Scrutiny from this particular community that snowballed into fiery persecution. These letters shared a common theme – they were sent privately as the senders feared retaliation; many were anonymous for the same reason.
I assure you, I acted no differently in Wisconsin than I do anywhere else. Going into the assembly, a school administrator said, “Jeff, we need this conversation here.” The morning meeting was nothing but positive and I considered the day an incredible success. However, I learned a long time ago that certain triggers can cause teens to overreact; they might hear the words you say, but don’t understand (or don’t care to figure out) what you mean. More recently, I learned that a couple of teens who create fake Twitter accounts can cause a lot of damage.
I speak to an average of 100 school communities a year and I’ve never experienced such backlash.
Was it the intensity of my speech that kindled disapproval? Was I overly confident in my delivery? Did I speak too quickly or too loudly? In my attempt to address both sides of the gym evenly, did I miss clues that could have helped me avoid condemnation? Not that I can think of. It was a school assembly like any other; I found all 2,000 students to be an amazing audience.
If you’re going to research me, if you’re going to base your decision on my ability to help your community on a negative Internet posting, I implore you to do your due diligence. The Internet is a great tool that provides facts; one of those facts is that there are more lies than truths on the Internet. In 2018, researchers led by Sinan Aral of MIT published a study entitled “The Spread of True and False News Online” in the journal Science. They analyzed tweets between Twitter’s inception in 2006 through 2017 and concluded that “it took the truth about six times as long as falsehood to reach 1,500 people.” Six times! The study also revealed that people find lies more intriguing and therefore more share worthy. So, when you review passionate criticism (against anyone!), consider the source. Weigh the pros and the cons. What price can you put on saving even just one life?
I thank you for giving me this opportunity to say something on my own behalf. My heart aches to know that my intentions were so grossly misunderstood, and my heart aches for the souls I am unable to help as a result. I also know that I strive to provide what my clients need to the best of my ability.
I cannot control what other people do; I can only direct my own course. I have hundreds of videos, thousands of clients, and countless testimonials supporting my work and my reputation. And to those Wisconsin students and parents who were brave enough to message me kind words, I can’t thank you enough.
Videos of Recent Teen Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Speaking Engagements:
Suicides at Morrisville HS – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk2ulDBhGME
Teen Suicide and Mental Health High School – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWNBKc_BB_U&t=9s
Barnard, MO – https://youtu.be/KAKnjeFyRR0
Teen Mental Health – https://youtu.be/YkZCFb8uX4A
Teen Suicide: It’s Okay To Ask for Help – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaWdcJf1ss&t=83s
TEDx Talk – https://youtu.be/nP_xXPvJctI
It’s OK to ask for HELP – https://youtu.be/aDaWdcJf1ss
Allies in Mental Health – https://youtu.be/r9CwNEHIkSA
Mental Health Teen Speaker – https://youtu.be/BpUuSF2zFyg
Tippicanoe Valley High School – https://youtu.be/rpfVjoYAgik
Brookfield High School – https://youtu.be/iNOFgRiGOM4
Hannibal – Prevention – https://youtu.be/SQYhZcYwWkQ
Killingly High School – https://youtu.be/6ZPki3tBe0M
Cresco, IA – https://youtu.be/k5VgH9cxPjY
In my career as a youth motivational speaker, it’s not often that an elementary school brings me in to speak – especially in the areas of mental health and suicide prevention. But this was exactly where I found myself early this month in 
In his more than 25 years working with young people and school communities, he said he has met many awesome teachers, administrators, coaches and counselors, but he cited then-interim and now permanent 
He said he also loved to see how committed the staff members were to the welfare and well-being of the kids.
First, Yalden spent two hours with roughly 250 high school students.
From conversations with the young man’s friends, it became apparent that he told some of them what he intended to do, but the feeling was that he would not go through with it.
“And so here we are – talking about a young man who told people, and followed through,” he said.
We have to take all signs seriously, according to Yalden.
“Don’t put yourself in the position where you are going to make that decision whether [or not] they are just saying it. No. Young people are probably the most important people in saving one of their peer’s lives – whether it’s direct verbal clues, indirect verbal clues, behavioral clues or situational clues. You are the ones that hear about it first.”
Remember: 
And blaming this event on the sedative 
“Mental illness does not give a person a free pass for bad behavior, and I speak for all of us that live every day with mental illnesses. The same is said for people that suffer daily because of racism.”
Yalden cited a 2012 interview with 
Yalden said that leads to a persistent form of depression called dysthymia, which could lead to the desire for suicide.
“Teens need relationships. They need trusted adults that are patient, giving of their time, understanding, supportive, and love them unconditionally,” he said, adding that it is imperative that we teach them coping skills and problem-solving skills and instill in them the importance of balance and boundaries, especially when it comes to social media, the Internet and YouTube.
Too much exposure to social media, as Yalden explains in this video, can also cause depression and other mental health issues in our teens.
Mental illness threatens to become the biggest public health crisis in America, and this is no longer a family issue, according to Yalden. This is an economic issue.
He said that mental illness and depression factor into 90 percent of suicides – and many suicides are preceded by factors that we don’t even notice.
“Why should we notice it when we weren’t even looking for it,” he said. “The individuals that are on the schools’ radars aren’t necessarily the ones we need to look out for. A lot of school communities have said to me, ‘Jeff, we didn’t even know there was a problem. There were no signs. This is the last person we would have suspected.’”
As a man who proudly lives with mental illness every day, Yalden is all about crushing the stigma attached to it.
“It’s OK to ask for help!”
Yalden can’t overemphasize the importance of a healthy self-esteem.
“I promise – on the other side of fear is self-esteem. Don’t let anyone take that from you. You have to do the work, though,” he said.
He said that this very sad time affects us all – and this is a time that will shape us.
“This will either expose wounds or build muscles. It’s your choice how you respond. Allow yourself to grieve on your terms. I am so sorry and thinking of you all,” he said.
For more information, go 
Many know me as a 
The reality is that 90 percent of teen suicides go back to mental illness – and if you think about today’s teens – two of the biggest challenges that we have are coping skills and problem-solving skills.
In my work, I find that that teenagers have a really tough time communicating – sharing their feelings – trusting in the circle of adults in their life – and so – when you ask me, “Hey Jeff – what is the greatest thing that you can give teenagers today,” I don’t even hesitate. I say, “self-esteem.”
But where does self-esteem come from?
Self-esteem comes from being challenged and overcoming those challenges.
I think self-esteem comes from social interaction. It comes from involvement with your friends and family – relationships. Self-esteem comes from being outside – coping through life – problem-solving through your challenges. Self-esteem is something we build every day as a result of being more active.
I think three things are really important to a teen’s mental health:
Again – going back to self-esteem – it’s safe to say that a teen spending time online interrupts time for activities where they could be building their self-esteem – (what I just mentioned: coping skills, problem-solving, communication) – life skills that are essential to their growth as a young adult.
I hope you are following me here.
Teens spend much less time today interacting with friends and family. Without interaction, our moods start to suffer, and depression follows.
Going back to Dr. Joiner – “I am alone – I am a burden.” Those two things lead to sadness. They lead to depression – and the “I am alone – I am a burden” – isolation is also a big factor in suicide ideation – better known as suicidal thoughts.
Let’s look at the amount of time being alone – the amount of time where you feel you are a burden. That brings the desire for suicide – Dr. Joiner’s theory is making sense – more so today – and the capability for suicide grows out of repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences
Now – this is starting to make a lot more sense when we look at time online – teens are more likely to be depressed, while making friends and engaging socially and in-person builds their self-esteem.
In 2012, this is what started to happen: Online versus in-person social engagement. Online harms mental health. In-person social engagement benefits mental health.
Remember: 90 percent of suicides. At the core, at the foundation are mental health issues.
I already mentioned that proper sleep and nutrition are a huge benefit to the mental well-being of our young people. They also need to get more involved. This is good for their self-esteem.
Is this research definitive enough? Maybe not. Is it too soon to recommend less screen time? The solution seems to be clear:
If less screen time can help lessen your child’s chances of falling into depression, then the danger of doing nothing can be high. Think about the possible consequences. If we do nothing, then we’re taking a huge risk.
A couple more things before I wrap this up:
Going back to Dr. Joiner’s theory:
“I am alone” is like, “I don’t have meaningful relationships.
“I am a burden.” This is about expectations.
Today’s teens have greater stress. They have the expectations that might not be realistic. They have the fear of not knowing who they are or what they want to do. That’s the “I am a burden.” And the desire for suicide – that’s the pain lasting and building up.
Also – the Dopamine effect from the social media, the Internet and YouTube – it’s like – “I want more, I want more, I want more…”
When you are spending four, five hours a day on your smartphone, the Dopamine effect is more and more and more – versus one-to-two-hours – you have less of the “I want more, I want more.”
So what does all of this lead to?
Our teens are on 24/7 – 365. This is leading to depression, isolation – a feeling that they are not worthy. They want to be validated with “likes” on social media – and social isolation is arguably the strongest and most reliable predictor of suicidal thoughts.
Social isolation leads to loneliness, social withdrawal, living alone with little social support – living in non-intact families. All of this really isn’t helping.
I think it comes down to vigilant parenting, less time online, more social and emotional learning – mindfulness practice – meditation – reducing the stigma of mental health, and letting people know that it is OK to ask for help.
To wrap this up:
Self-esteem: Again, social interaction, sleep, health, exercise, nutrition, activity.
Self-esteem: Involvement, communication, coping skills, problem-solving skills.
Self-esteem: You’re not afraid to ask for help.
Social Isolation: “I am alone. I am a burden.”
When our young people are interacting, they are learning. They’ve got friends. They are figuring themselves out – their identities – they are growing – they have trust – companionship – problem-solving and coping skills – laughter and better communication.
A couple of things, lastly –
Smartphone. Addiction. Isolation. Sadness. Loneliness. Lack of growth, The Dopamine effect. Diminished life skills.
It makes sense that Joiner’s “I am alone” / “I am a burden” is a problem. You see where social media is really adding to that. And then the desire for suicide that emerges from suicidal thoughts stemming from repeated exposure to painful or fear-inducing experiences that these kids go through.
Again – I don’t think students want to die. I think they live in the here and the now – and so they feel like they can never reach solutions to their problems and move on with their lives.
And with the here and the now – everything is just so readily available to them. I mean, you text somebody and you get an immediate response. You pick up your smartphone and someone is automatically there. You go to the bank – and an ATM spits out cash.
I think the biggest problems with our youth today are the lack of coping skills and problem-solving skills.
If we could focus more on social and emotional learning in our schools, I think we would do an awesome job of getting our kids to spend less time on their smartphones and more time interacting – I think that would make a huge life-changing difference.
For more information about Jeff Yalden, go 
