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Rochester & Rochester Hills School Communities

May 8, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

 

Thank you for having me speak to day.

Here are some references for you all:

The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. – Please Consider a Donation

  • The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc., a 501c3 Non-Profit Foundation for Teen Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. (Click Here)

The Daily Motivation from Jeff Yalden (Subscription Based but FREE to join the mailing list)

  • Sign up for Jeff Yalden . . . The Daily Messenger (Click Here)
  • Or on the Website (Click Here)

Today’s Presentation:

  • Power Point Slides: May 8, 2020 Presentation (PDF Rochester Communities PowerPoint)

Jeff Yalden (Email)

Website: (Click Here)

FREE Books:

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19 28 Day Boot Camp for Teens Workbook

Motivational Posters:  Posters Motivational+PDF’s+2019

The Jeff Yalden Foundation: The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. Donate

FREE Link School Community Teen Suicide Prevention Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/access32545464/9a6d8752c7c

FREE Meditation Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/optin1586289965594

Teen & Family Life Coach: https://jeffyalden.com/teen-life-coach/

 Teen Suicide Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K2M6QCB

Best of Jeff Yalden Videos: 

  • TEDx Talk – https://youtu.be/nP_xXPvJctI
  • Tippicanoe Valley High School – https://youtu.be/rpfVjoYAgik
  • Barnard, MO – https://youtu.be/KAKnjeFyRR0
  • High School Speaker: (Click Here)
  • High School Motivational Speaker Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Mental Health & Suicide Prevention in High School: (Click Here)
  • Teachers and Staff Speaker: (Click Here)
  • Teacher Staff Development Playlist Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Suicide Behaviors & Responding in Crisis: (Click Here)
  • Why Teens Self-Harm: (Click Here)
  • Reference Letters (Click Here)
  • Jeff’s Brochure (Click Here)

Visit Jeff Yalden University for More Courses for Teens and Families (Click Here)

Rochester and Rochester Hills, MI – Teen Suicide Prevention and Teen Mental Health Talk by Jeff Yalden

Filed Under: Anxiety, BOOM, BOOM 28-Day Boot Camp, Depression, For Parents, Gratitude, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Rochester, Rochester Hills, Suicide Prevention, teen depression, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide

COVID-19 and Self-Care

April 30, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

The COVID-19 fatalities extend beyond the virus itself.

When I woke up yesterday, I found out that an ER doctor in New York City ended her life by suicide. Dr. Lorna Breen was 49 and was the medical director of the emergency department at New York Presbyterian-Allen Hospital. This brave woman contracted COVID-19 on the job, and when the hospital ultimately sent her home, her family brought her home to Charlottesville, Virginia.

It was there that she made her forever decision.

Her grieving father told the New York Times that she tried to do her job, and it killed her.

Think about that. It’s unbelievably sad.

Dr. Lorna Breen / Photo: Columbia University Medical Center

To all of the front-line workers – doctors, nurses, first-responders, food service workers, truckers – everybody: It’s tough being considered a hero today because being a hero comes with a great deal of responsibility. As anxiety increases with the coronavirus pandemic, you want to continue serving people and saving lives…

But one of the things that we most often forget in our desire and our compassion and empathy to want to help and serve people – is that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Listen: You matter.

The situation that we are all in is traumatic. It is filled with a lot of anxiety and stress and the uncertainty of the world – but especially if you are one of these front-line workers that has to serve in the face of COVID-19.

 You are still fortunate to have a job, but having this job can be extremely stressful

Remember: You can’t pour from an empty pitcher. It’s crucial that you have a daily routine in place, a structured lifestyle. The first order of business must be self-care. This could be anything from healthy eating, exercise, meditation, yoga or time in prayer. Whatever self-care looks like for you, now is the time to make sure you are setting time aside for this.

If you are not taking care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The best you isn’t showing up.

I have a niece who is a front-line worker in New York City. She sees the heartbreak of COVID-19 on a daily basis. I have friends here in the Myrtle Beach area who are nurses – and I applaud you all. I am so thankful to have people like you in my life, but one of the things that really sends up red flags is when you negate your thoughts and feelings with a statement like, “I’ll take care of me later. I’ve got to show up and do this now.”

NO! You have got to take care of yourself more now while you are taking care of others.

My intention is to be careful here, and I do not want to come across as insensitive.

You can be compassionate. You can be empathetic. But you cannot carry the darkness. Love people and serve others, absolutely – but you have got to take care of yourself first. This is so important.

God bless each and every one of you. I love you, and I hope you are well and staying safe.

About Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is renowned for his work as a youth motivational speaker and teen mental health and suicide prevention expert. For three decades, Jeff has given his life to students, teachers, counselors, parents, and the mental health community.

For more about Jeff Yalden, click HERE.

Check out Jeff’s book: Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, Loss, Mental Health, Self-Care Tagged With: Anxiety, COVID-19, Dr. Lorna Breen, Jeff Yalden, Self-Care, Suicide, Suicide Prevention

Why Teens Need a Mental Health Life Coach

April 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden speaks to teens one on one everywhere he goes.

Your teen needs a Teen Life Coach and a Mental Health Life Coach for support and encouragement. Consider Jeff Yalden. He’s been that trusted teen life coach for many years.
Growing up teen today is harder than it has ever been.
Parenting is harder than it’s ever been too, and that is why teens need a Mental Health Life Coach. Parents can use a coach that understands teens as well.

As a Youth Motivational Speaker & Coach, Jeff Hears Their Cries

Pressures of being a teen today are overwhelming. The mental well-being of our teens is seriously being compromised.
Jeff sees it everyday in his talks with teens and school communities. High School Assemblies with youth motivational speaker Jeff Yalden are 15 hours and in that time he meets one on one with many teens requesting to speak to him personally.
After his high school assemblies students line up to talk about life, their family struggles, abuse, brokenness, loss, fear, anxiety, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed and more.
A personal conversation with Jeff and teens feel they can trust in him to share their heart.
Visit Jeff’s Website

Why Teens want to speak to Jeff Yalden

For so many reasons, teens are afraid to talk, including but not limited to:
  • They’re afraid you’re going to try and fix it
  • They’re afraid you’re going to judge them
  • You’re going to tell them they’re overreacting
  • You don’t understand the pressure of being a teen
  • You’re not going to take them seriously
  • They’re afraid of being a burden
  • They can’t figure out how they’re feeling themselves
  • They feel you won’t value their feelings, thoughts, and emotions
So what do teens do? They isolate themselves trying to figure it all out and it becomes too overwhelming.

Teens don’t trust adults

Sounds crazy, but it’s true and that is why they’re not reaching out to their trusted adults. Ask many teens who their trusted adult is and they’ll tell you they don’t have one. Scared, isolated, and teens feel alone and a disappointment. They’re not speaking because they are afraid to burden their closest adults with their problems. They know how stressful life is for you that they don’t want to overwhelm you with their problems.
“I wanted to say “Thank You” for letting me thing that I do belong here and I am special. I am loved and that I don’t need to end it all to get what I want.I will never forget everything you said to everyone.” – Student, OH

Two Questions Teens Need Answered

VbSzbvllRIy7GyUtwkeYhgIf you’re going to connect and be able to get the trust and respect from your teens you have to answer these two questions:
  • Can I trust you?
  • Do you care about me?
You can’t just say, “I’m the parent. Of course they know they can trust me.” Not so fast. How do you show it? How do they know?
Teens don’t walk in the house from school and say, “Mom and dad, I’ve had a bad day. Can we talk?“
They go to their room just wishing you would come through the door and listen to their heart without saying a word. Just listen.
In isolation their minds are left thinking the worst.
You spell LOVE: T-I-M-E. TIME and being non-judgmental when you’re listening.

Teen Pressures are Overwhelming

With all the pressures: social media, school, friends, their future, and the expectations, teens are overwhelmed. Their mental health is being compromised and teens don’t know how to cope.
Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Mental Health Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden reaches students.

Major concerns such as self-harm, depression, and maybe even suicidal ideation if teens don’t ask for help or parents don’t advocate for their child.
A teen mental health life coach helps your teen navigate the process of life by listening and offering practical tips and advice. Having this teen life coach will lead to self-value, self-respect, and a confidant they can talk to without judgement.
It’s extremely important to have a mental health life coach to help deal with everyday challenges for teens.
Someone that understands them and can help them navigate the process of life in a calm, non-reactionary, balanced journey; giving them practical tips and advice.

Teen Suicide: Is your Teen Next?

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After a suicide, Jeff meets with students and friends and gives them permission to talk and feel while leading them in on a healthy and positive path to closure and acceptance.

Jeff Yalden is an expert on teen mental health and teen suicide.
Teen Suicide has been and continues to be an epidemic in school communities everywhere.
You may have heard about the show “13 Reasons Why” that tells the story of how a teen girl takes her own life after experiencing many traumatic experiences.
Many mixed views about the show.  Some feel like the show provides a valuable opportunity for discussion about bullying and teen suicide.
On the other side of the spectrum are those that feel the show glorifies suicide and shows that it is an easy option.
Regardless of what you think, Jeff says the show is popular because it is a conversation teens are having.  Suicide is a thought and that is why teens are paying attention.  For this reason, Jeff says as a parent you should be watching the show because your teen is probably watching it themselves.
The show triggers with teens and their emotions.  Pay attention and do something.

Two Reasons Teens Want to End Their Lives

There are two specific reasons teens start thinking about wanting to end their lives.
  1. They feel alone
  2. They feel they’re a disappointment
What comes next if they’re not asking for help is self-harm. Heed the warning signs and take all signs seriously.

Teens are in a Vulnerable and Emotional State

Teen Mental Health Life Coach Jeff YaldenThe years of being a teen are very stressful and although as parents you’ve been through it, it just isn’t the same.
This is one of the reasons why teens need a mental health life coach they can talk to weekly or bi-monthly.
A teen life coach that can teach them skills that will help them deal with everyday life stressors. A teen life coach that gives them tools o they can add to their toolbox.
As a teen life coach, Jeff spends a lot of time teaching coping skills and problem solving skills.

Teens in Therapy

Jeff feels strongly that professional counseling is a great place for teens.
Teens don’t trust in adults, especially counselors and don’t feel they need therapy. A teen life coach having been through the journey of mental health counseling can really help your teen with understanding what counseling is.
You can’t just say to a teen, “You need therapy.“
Therapy is a process and Jeff works with his clients to help them understand the benefits of therapy and perhaps medication, if that is needed.
Teens trust in Jeff because he stays on their side and explains how it all works. Jeff validates their feelings and thoughts but shows the benefits of giving professional counseling a try and sticking to it.
In the process of working with a teen life coach make sure that this teen life coach knows enough about mental health in teens.  Also, this teen life coach understands their boundaries between a teen life coach and professional therapist.
The two can easily work together. Jeff specializes in working with the client and another therapist. Jeff says, “We both have our strengths and I don’t interfere with the therapist at all.” Working together it’s a win-win situation.

13 Reasons why a Teen Mental Health Life Coach is Right for Your Teen

1. Social Media and Teens:

The overwhelming amount of time being on Social Media. More time on social media is more time isolating yourself from the world. Isolation is toxic.
18If your teen is spending 4-5 or more hours on social media platforms they’re 70% more likely to have major depression in their life.
Jeff Yalden can assist you as a parent with explaining what social media and the dopamine effect are doing to teens.

2.Mandated Testing in Schools:

The anxiety and pressure teens are facing with tests is overwhelming and causing a lot of stress.  Teens think today that if they’re not perfect what is the point.
The expectations teens feel they’re not reaching are coming from school, parents, themselves, and keeping up with their friends.
Your teen needs help managing the anxiety that comes with this overwhelming pressure. A teen life coach teaches helpful tools to manage this anxiety in order to be more successful in school and in life.
Here is a FREE Introduction Course on Meditation from Jeff.

3. Bullying and Cyberbullying

Youth Motivational Speaker Jeff YaldenTeen suicide is rarely the cause of one thing such as bullying. Bullying can be the straw that breaks the camels back, but today, Jeff will tell you that bullying or cyberbullying can certainly be the cause of a teen suicide completion or attempt.
Absolutely!
Kids are mean and this occurs in school, on social media, and a lot of the time at home.
It’s very rare for a teen to never experience being bullied by the time they have graduated from high school.
Having a teen life coach can teach skills to help your teen handle the bullying and even prevent bullying from happening to them.  Teens also need these skills to help them realize when they are being the bully and how not to get in that situation.
While most schools have anti-bullying programs in place the students don’t take them seriously and sometimes these programs give new opportunities for bullying to occur.

4. Divorce and Family Issues

Family issues and blended families is more normal amongst teens and their friends. Too many of our teens have these feelings they are the cause of the tension in the family or the reason for the divorce.
Family issues are very emotional for the teen. Maybe more so than for the parents.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen find emotional resilience and manage the big picture, the change, and how to take this one day at a time without getting caught up in the brokenness.
If your child doesn’t talk to someone and express their thoughts and feelings the pain will manifest into behavior that leads to further problems, anxiety, depression, and maybe suicidal ideation.

5.  Peer Pressure

Imagine the pressure you feel as an adult trying to keep up with family, friends, and co-workers.
Teens need to learn how to follow their own personal course and to enjoy getting to know who they are and not trying to live in other people shoes.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen make decisions for themselves where they take pride in who they are and the course of their own life.

6. Sexual abuse

Being abused sexually is more common than you’d imagine.  According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), teens account for 51% of all reported sexual abuse and female victims of teen sexual abuse while in grades 9-12 are more likely than others to experience eating disorders, suicidal ideation, pregnancy, and risky sexual behaviors.
A teen life coach will give your teen the consistent coaching that can help your teen know the difference between being where they should be and where they should not be, but more importantly having the confidence to say, “NO.”
Your teen needs to understand how and where sexual abuse occurs and if it’s happened a teen life coach can help them process and be comfortable talking to their parents and professional help as it’s the right thing to do.

7.  Alcohol and Drugs: Self-Medicating

Too many of our teens are vaping, drinking, and experiencing with pills. It’s become a Teen Life Coach says every teen needs a trust adult in their life.norm for too many teens today and they’re not taking it seriously.
George Mason University says this culture of alcohol drinking can lead to higher rates of teen sex, teen pregnancy, date rape, violence, and illegal activity.
Teens believe it is not a big deal to drink alcohol, because everyone does it, even their parents.
Alcohol becomes a go-to for stress and anxiety.  Self-medicating.
A teen life coach can help with coping skills and problem solving skills on how to deal with anxiety, stress, and everyday problems.

8. The Maturity of a Teen’s Brain

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain where emotional control, impulse restraint and rational decision-making take place.  According to Dr. David Walsh, this part of the brain does not fully mature until around the age of 25 and this is why many teenagers do not practice “good judgment” in difficult situations.

9.  Teens Don’t Like Talking to Adults

Again, Jeff says you have to earn their respect and trust and it takes time.
Teen Life Coach, Jeff Yalden saves a teen and visits her a year later.

One of the most memorable moments of Jeff’s career as a teen life coach was this young lady and the two years of saving her life.

Teens withdraw from parents and spend more time alone or with their friends. Isolation is toxic and our teens are spending too much time alone or with their friends asking the questions they should be asking an adult.
Having a teen life coach in your teens life can help them make good decisions and guide them through the tough times they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or counselors about.

10. Drama . . . Drama . . . Drama

Drama causes a lot of ups and downs and happens daily in a teens life.
One day your teen is best friends with someone and the next day she is not.
Hateful are said to each other and rumors can be spread.  This can lead to bullying and depression.
Your teen needs to have a mentor to show them the bigger picture.  When it comes to friends a teen life coach can help your teen use their inner judgement in making good decisions when it comes to the friends that matter and to the friends that are acquaintances.

11. The Future Decisions

Life Coach for TeensThe future is a huge stress factor for high school students in junior and senior year of high school.
If your teen is in a competitive high school environment it’s even worse.  If your teen doesn’t get into a good school they’ll feel a disappointment to themselves and their parents.
Teens feel the pressure to know what they want to do as a career as early a 9th grade.
They get confused from all of the pressure from parents, friends, teachers, and media.
A teen life coach can help teen your teen make these decisions by asking questions that make the most sense to them and what they want in their life.

12. The feelings of being Alone and a Disappointment

Most teens feel alone and a disappointment.  Teens are becoming more independent and trying to figure out what their purpose in life is, who their friends are, and what they are good at.
As they are learning more about themselves they may have moments of feeling left out or like they are different than everyone else.
Teen Life Coaches can help a teens understand that we are all connected and here for different reasons.  Teens are wondering what their purpose is and a teen life coach can help guide them in the right direction while supporting and encouraging them in their journey.

13.  They’re Influences such as Television and the Internet

Teens are influenced everyday and everything is influential to a teen who is easily impressionable.
Suicide contagion is real.  Television shows like “13 Reasons Why” was very impressionable on millions of teens.
Teens need a life coach to know that suicide is a permanent action to a situation that is temporary.
By you giving your teen a life coach, someone to talk to and trust in on a consistent basis you are giving your teen a trusted mentor to teach important life-saving tools that will help your teen gain a healthy mind in order to live a happy and successful life with meaning and purpose.
Consider a teen life coach for your teen today, by visiting Jeff Yalden: Teen Life Coach and Teen Mental Health Expert.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Success, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Counseling, Education, High School Motivational Speaker, Inspirational, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health Coach, Motivational, preventing teen suicide, Schools, Speakers on Depression, Teen Communicator, teen depression, Teen Life Coach, Teen Mental Health, Teen Speaker, Teen Suicide, Teen Suicide Experts, teenage depression, Teens, Youth, Youth Speaker

SCREEN TIME AND MENTAL HEALTH

February 26, 2020 by Roger Yale

Yalden - Speaking in School Office - Close Shot.jpg

Jeff Yalden

Too much screen time can hurt your child’s mental health.

It’s not unusual to see little kids with smartphones or tablets. If you went to the grocery store right now, you might see a toddler sitting in a shopping cart, scrolling through an iPhone while a parent is busy shopping. It’s the new normal.

As technology has progressed, parents have let their kids have access to devices at younger and younger ages. By 2012, roughly 50 percent of our youth had access to a smartphone. By 2015, that number was close to 73 percent. In 2018, according to Pew Research Center, 95 percent of our youth in America have access to smartphones and the features that come with them – the Internet, social media platforms, YouTube, group texting and the like.

WHY NOT JUST TALK?

Jeff realized that this ability to instantaneously access information was going to be an issue a few years ago when his daughter texted him a question. Yes, texting is a useful way to communicate, and there’s nothing wrong with that – but she was sitting a couple of feet away from him.

When he asked her why she just didn’t ask the question the old-fashioned way, she told him is was easier for her to text. Really?

The smartphone has become so ubiquitous that it is difficult to imagine what we ever did before its arrival. If used responsibly, it can make our lives easier in so many ways. But if we don’t monitor usage by our teens or teach them balance and boundaries, this device can adversely impact their lives and put them at risk.

Research shows that teens’ over-dependence on their smartphones and other devices affects their mental and physical well-being.

According to US News and World Report, too much online time has been linked to mental and physical problems such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep deprivation and obesity. Findings published in the journal Emotion showed adolescent self-esteem, life satisfaction and happiness decreased the more hours teens spent per week on their devices.

SCREEN TIME AND TEEN SUICIDE

More alarming still is what researchers from San Diego State University and Florida State University discovered: Roughly 50 percent of teens who spent five or more hours at a screen each day reported experiencing thoughts of suicide and experienced prolonged periods of hopelessness or sadness in comparison to those who did not spend as much time online.

Add to this the obesity risk because many kids are staying indoors without getting out for some exercise – and the sleep deprivation factor because they are falling short of the recommended eight to 10 hours for teens.

Many sleep experts recommend shutting off devices an hour or two before bed. When it comes to your teens – good luck with that.

Yalden - Teen Suicide - Cover.jpg

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

Right now, the research is too unsubstantiated to give us a clear-cut answer about how much online time is too much – but one thing is certain: As parents, we need to use our best judgment. If you think your child is spending too much time online, you’re probably right. Establish boundaries and hold them accountable.

Try having your kids keep a daily and weekly log of their screen time, including the apps used and the purpose for the online time. This will also serve as a lesson in time management – and they can see where to cut back.

Family time is important. Make it a rule that no devices should be used at mealtimes – and nobody should be looking at their phones when their undivided attention is required. That’s just rude.

Obviously – no devices while driving.

Set clear priorities and make sure your teen knows that it’s all about responsibilities and obligations before rights and privileges. Reward them for a job well done – and practice what you preach.

For some kids, the smartphone has become more important than real-life interaction with their peers. Smartphone interaction raises the dopamine levels of the user, resulting in a euphoric state. This “dopamine effect” says “I want more…I want more…I want more.”

Simply put, too much screen time hurts your child’s mental health. An increase in real-life social interaction benefits their mental health. Real-world interaction helps your child to develop coping and problem-solving skills and the ability to communicate properly.

Interacting with others is important to your child’s self-esteem.

Proper smartphone use by teens and children is a parent’s responsibility. The devices belong to you. If your child can’t learn to use a device responsibility, then it’s time for you to step in.

Above content is Part four in a series based on Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic. Click link to order now. CLICK HERE for Jeff’s online suicide prevention course. To book Jeff for your school or event, call 800-948-9289

Filed Under: Depression, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Amazon Bestselling Author, Devices, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health Speaker, Screen Time, Smartphone, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide

High School Mental Health Speaker Brings Motivation, Dodgeball, Humor, and Yoga to Upper Scioto Valley

February 17, 2020 by Jeff Yalden

Last year, high school mental health speaker Jeff Yalden visited Upper Scioto Valley High School in McGuffey, Ohio and spent a full day speaking to the students, teachers, and parents.

During his visit, Jeff connected with the junior class and developed a relationship with them via Facebook. Watch the video of Jeff’s in 2019. (Click Here).

In February, Jeff was invited back for the school’s Mental Health Day. Who better for your students mental health day than Jeff Yalden? He’s been doing this in school communities all over the country for three decades.

Jeff talks teen mental health, self-harm, self-medicating, depression, and teen suicide. How awesome is it that the students invited Jeff to come back to their school to talk teen mental health? It just goes to show that we can talk mental health and have fun too.

Upper Scioto Valley School District invested in Jeff for a second year in a row. On this visit, Jeff talked to students, teachers, and parents and community again, but this time he brought a slightly different message.

Not only is Jeff a teen mental health motivational speaker, but he also consults with school districts on school culture and school climate.

New Program: Intentional Living

Jeff’s new program, Schools of Intentional Living and Learning, is focused on improving and enhancing school campuses by providing the fundamental modality of self-care and mindful practice. This is accomplished by teaching intentional living and self-advocacy to recharge the mind, body, and the soul.

The benefits of being a School of Intentional Living and Learning includes:

Benefits:
  • Improve relationships between students and staff.
  • Improve self acceptance and self-esteem.
  • Building a family friendly and supportive campus.
  • Valuing ourselves and each other.
  • To practice self-care improving one’s emotions.
  • Teaching equanimity.
  • Bring awareness to our mental health and how to be in control.
  • To teach compassion, kindness, and empathy.
  • To give back and see the benefits of selfless service.
  • Less referrals for Discipline.
  • More community engagement, especially on campus.
  • Becoming a National Recognized School of Influence.
  • Teaches time management.
  • Teaches non-judgement.
If you’re interested in learning more about Jeff’s new program for enhancing your school culture, please visit Youth Motivational Speaker, Jeff Yalden’s website.
 

School Culture & Mental Health

Everyday talk is about changing the way we’re engaging in our schools between staff and students. Jeff wants to change the school environment so that schools and campuses are safe, but also friendly and fully functional for overall academic successes. But he also focus on addressing the growing concerns of mental health and our teens.

Since 1992, Jeff has been one of the most sought after high school motivational youth speakers in the world. 

At this point in his high school motivational speaking career, Jeff wants to inspire and encourage all individuals in the school community to be fully present and engaged, but without the inherent stress and anxiety that are plaguing today’s society.

Jeff Yalden is a man that lives with mental illness, is a practicing yogi, and working on his 200 hour yoga teacher training certification. He wants to help, inspire, educate, and bring to schools a modality that changes the culture of our schools and in return addresses teacher retention and the mental health of our students.

Mental Health Day at Upper Scioto Valley School District

Jeff Yalden Virtually Connecting with High School Students and School Communities

The day started at 7:00 am where Jeff brought his yoga practice to Upper Scioto Valley High School gym with two elementary teachers and the high school counselor. Jeff introduced his yoga practice and explained how yoga has been beneficial to him living with mental illness. 

As Jeff took these three staff members on a simple yoga morning exercise routine he talked about how schools should have a yoga program for students and staff.  For one it is great for relationships, protecting the posture of our youth, and also to increase self-esteem, and to be find a practice that helps with mental well-being and so much more.

After the yoga workout, teachers and staff members were waiting for Jeff before the students arrive.

Teacher and Staff Development

Off to the board room where Jeff talked and inspired the staff and teachers from K-12.

What teacher and staff development is actually fun? Ask Jeff, and he always has fun talking to teachers and staff members. Jeff likes to say thank you to teachers for his regret in not thanking the teachers and coaches that made him the man he is today.

For an hour, they talked about teen mental health, teen stress, anxiety, and how to help our students be their own best advocates for their mental well-being.

Aside from the teens, Jeff talked to the staff about their own mental well-being as well.

It’s frustrating that we are losing so many great teachers to other professions because being a teacher was once seen as an incredible job.

Today, being a teacher comes with a lot of stress. Grappling with the mental health of students isn’t something today’s teachers think they’re qualified to handle. It’s a very scary situation when you look at trying to retain teachers and where education is going to be in 10-15 years.

After speaking to the teachers and staff, the middle school and high school students came down to the field house where Jeff spoke to them on teen mental health and advocating for yourself for about an hour and a half.

Teen Mental Health Speaker for High School and Middle School Students

Jeff addressed the students and staff about his journey living with mental illness. He talked to them about being willing to speak up about feelings. His talk also visited teen suicide, self-harm and self-medicating. He also covered drugs, vaping, and how to reduce anxiety.

After the talk, the day was spent with a great mix of fun, classroom talk about coping and problem solving. He also met with individual students and small groups.

Upper Scioto Valley School District did a great job in bringing this mental health awareness day to their school. It was presented in a way that made it fun without heavy conversations or triggers. It was a day that all schools should look to incorporate into their school curriculum.

Another great visit to McGuffey, OH and Upper Scioto Valley High School for Teen Mental Health and High School Mental Health Motivational Speaker, Jeff Yalden.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, High Schools, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Hampton Inn, High School Mental Health Motivational Speaker, High School Students Mental Health, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health Awareness in High School, Mental Health Youth Speaker, Motivational Speaker Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, Talking Mental Health in High School, Teen Author, Teen Mental Health Speakers for Schools, Teen Suicide, Teen Suicide Online Course, Upper Scioto Valley High School

Why Teens Kill Themselves

February 6, 2020 by Jeff Yalden

When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t planning on writing about teen suicide and why teens kill themselves. I planned to slowly wake up, watch “Good Morning America” and make my way into the office without a plan. But things change quickly, and here I am doing just that. Let’s save some lives… I got three phone calls from three different school communities and it wasn’t yet noon. Each one of these schools had a teen suicide on campus within the past few weeks. What I heard from each individual was similar; “Jeff, do you know anything about the epidemic our community is having?” “No. I have not heard,” I responded. How could anybody think teen suicide is an epidemic only in their communities? They have now decided to address the heartbreaking issue of teen suicide. These kinds of phone calls are quite common and also a bit perplexing. Teen suicide is a daily occurrence around the world, and it takes place everywhere – including school communities where you would never expect it to happen. I know this because my office phone rings every day. It’s bothersome because with every phone call it seems like this is only important only after they’ve lost a student to suicide. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Depression, For Parents, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: 13 Reasons Why, High School Mental Health, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health on College Campus, Mental Health Speaker for Teens, Mental Health Speaker in Schools, teen depression, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide, Why Teens Kill Themselves, Youth Speaker on Mental Health, Youth Speaker on Teen Mental Health

Teen Suicide Behaviors and Responding in a Crisis

January 23, 2020 by Jeff Yalden

“Teen Suicide Behaviors and Responding in a Crisis” is written by Jeff Yalden and provided for school communities to help save lives and teach mental health in our schools. Teen Suicide is an epidemic today concerning school communities. Know suicidal behavior and warning signs of suicidal ideation and how to respond in the event of a crisis. Jeff Yalden is a teen suicide prevention expert and works with school communities helping to create policies and procedures for school staff. Jeff speaks with students, teachers, counselors, administration, parents, and communities on teen mental health and building school culture to create a winning environment that helps students succeed and improve the morale and retainership of school staff.
“Jeff is an amazing speaker and his message is powerful. I heard him for the first time in Atchison,KS after our community suffered from some very tragic losses. Jeff was amazing and helped with the healing process. My high school son heard Jeff speak and his comment to me was “that was powerful mom.” I brought Jeff to my district this past fall. Again, his message was powerful and he touched the lives of many. Jeff you are amazing!!!  Keep fighting the fight!” – Julie Crum, Principal

Addressing Teen Suicide & Prevention in Schools

Teen Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Addressing teen suicide in schools is becoming more of a concern everyday. Our school administrators are understanding that they need to bring this more attention, but the concern is how to do it in a safe and non-triggering manner that is educational, informative, and provides help for those in need. Without the proper community resources, understand the schools are lacking the correct resources to address students in need of third party professional care. Nonetheless, at the onset, it’s about relationships and getting our youth to talk. It’s important that our students learn about mental health from the same trusted adults they learn everyday from. Full applause to every administrator, teacher, coach, student, and parent that supports this and is willing to address the topic of teen mental health. Bravo! We have a lot of work to do, but let’s not shy away from the topic of Teen Mental Health.

When the Conversation Happens

Let’s get acquainted with a few things regarding the conversation about teen mental health, teen suicide, suicidal behavior or mental wellness. First, the conversation don’t need to be in crisis moments. The conversations don’t need to be depressing either.  It’s really important that we all get educated and know what to do when the conversation happens in real time. Even before the conversation starts, we need to notice the red flags and potential suicidal behavior that will lead us to have the conversation. Listen, nothing to be worried about. Nothing to want to shy away from. We are adults and we have experience and wisdom. Talk to your teens, students, youth in the same manner you talk about your subject or a current event. You are the trusted and significant adult. They’re going to listen to you. With everything, approach this conversation with compassion, empathy, and be really present with your heart to theirs. This moment is a moment that can shape their life forever and you are that light the individual needs. Give yourself permission to know you can and will say the right thing. Know that you listening and being present is what matters most in this moment.

You Might Not Be Qualified

Stop right there. You might not be trained in mental health as a counselor or therapist, but you are trusted as a teacher or you’ve been given the honor of being a mom or dad, coach, aunt, uncle, youth pastor, or some other significant adult. You are qualified in these moments of crisis where a young person trusts in you. What you do in these moments matter most. Your number one job is to cherish this relationship right here and right now. Listen. Care. Be the source that bridges this individual with the person they need to be with to get the help they need. Think parents. Think school counselor. Think professional mental health care. Put this in order. First, get in touch with your school counselor or school administration. You’ve done your job. They will contact parents and let’s hope the parents do the right thing. In the meantime, you’ve done more than what a qualified person can do. A qualified person wasn’t there when the individual needed that trusting and significant adult. Believe in you. However, do remember you are not the therapist and your job isn’t to fix the individual. You being present, compassionate, and giving your attention to the situation is saving the person’s life and giving them hope, permission, and the right advise of what is next.

Warning Signs of Teen Suicide

The warning signs associated with teen suicide should be learned by every adult and student. This should be common place in today’s schools. Just knowing the warning signs alone can make the conversation happen before the individual reaches out. You will know when to intervene. Active listening skills should be a staff development workshop as well as a class for students. This way, anyone hearing or seeing warning signs can intervene when they witness those signs that are a “Cry for help.”

Jeff’s new booklet for Parents and Teens

The more education we receive on teen suicide behaviors and how to respond the greater chances we have of saving lives and getting people the help they need.

Outside Resources

All teachers and school personnel should be given the outside resources that are available within your community. Make it available to all teachers in a booklet and also add it to your school website resources page. Having this information on hand and readily accessible shows genuine concern for your students and also offers a sense of hope in facing life’s challenges.

School Policy on Teen Suicide

Every school should have their policy on teen suicide available along with the resources. This policy should cover the basics of what to look for such as the warning signs, symptoms, myths and facts, clues, and more. This should be written with the help of school counselors, mental health professionals, and should be talked about with all staff present so they’re comfortable in the policies and procedures if and when they find themselves in a conversation or a crisis. Know the policies and procedures and have them written down and provided to all staff. Knowing what to do and how to respond appropriately to suicidal behavior and a crisis or a threat in school or out of school is important to saving a life before an individual reacts emotionally. This knowledge will not only help students and staff members, but it will also possibly avoid lawsuits.

Renowned youth mental health and suicide prevention speaker has a theory about teen suicide

Teen Suicide Behaviors: Clues

All teachers and staff members should be aware of clues that will show the warning signs. Take all signs seriously. If you see something you should say something. If you know something you should do something. You generally have four different types clues that something is wrong:
  • Direct Verbal Clues
  • Indirect Verbal Clues
  • Behavioral Clues
  • Situational Clues
Within these types of clues there are warning signs of suicidal behavior to look for and know about. They include but are not limited to:
  • Talking about suicide, hurting themselves, death, or dying
  • Seeking access to firearms or pills
  • Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
  • Having severe mood swings
  • Feeling hopeless or trapped
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Sleeping all the time or having issues with sleep
  • Uncontrolled rage or agitation
  • Self-destructive and risky behavior
  • Giving away personal belongings
  • Telling people goodbye for seemingly no reason
For more information about teen suicide, please visit Jeff’s Teen Suicide section on his website.

Don’t let this happen to one of your students.

Remember people at any age can experience suicidal thoughts. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers.

Other Factors to Consider

  • Gender: Men commit suicide successfully 4.5 times more often than women, but women attempt suicide 2-4 times more than men.
  • Ethnicity: African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, and Asian-Americans have lower rates than Euro-Americans.
    • However, Native Americans have rates 1.6-4.2 times the national average.
  • Sexual orientation: Homosexual teens are three times more likely to attempts suicide than heterosexual teens.
  • Previous suicide attempts: Of all completed suicides, 10-40% have previously attempted suicide.

Ways to Intervene

Knowing the policies and procedures will help immensely.  Follow the guidelines accordingly and be confident to step into action. Be prepared to drop everything to take time to deal with the situation. Take every complaint and feeling the individual expresses seriously. Do not try to minimize the problem by telling the person everything they have to live for. This will only increase feelings of guilt and hopelessness and could result in suicidal behavior. Be calm, supportive, and nonjudgmental. Listen actively and encourage self-disclosure. It is okay to acknowledge the reality of suicide as a choice, but do not “normalize” suicide as a choice. Assure the individual they’re doing the right thing by confiding in you. Do not express discomfort with the situation. Your willingness to discuss it will show the person you care and you want to help.  Stay with the person. Never leave him/her alone until further action has been taken. You have done everything you can by just being in the moment, listening and being non-judgemental.

Suicidal Ideation on Phone

If you are talking to someone via phone, do not hang up; get someone else to call for help on another line. Be on speaker and be texting someone immediately. Don’t overreact until you know the severity, but take all signs seriously. Get someone to the person in distress immediately. Recognize that talking about suicide will not plant the idea! In reality, talking about suicide reduces their anxiety.

Show You Care and Want To Help

Listen and ask questions. Show that you are paying attention and that you care. Ask direct, straightforward questions. (“Are you thinking of suicide?”) Be aware that students will usually respond “no.” This is not your place to challenge them or wonder if they’re being truthful. Remember, you are the person that got them talking and the next step will be with the mental health professionals or third party psychiatric care and evaluation. Without you intervening here they may not get the help they need.

Ask Questions to Assess the Severity of the Situation

  • What has happened to make life so difficult?
  • What has been keeping you alive so far?
  • Are you thinking of suicide?
  • Do you have a suicide plan?
  • Do you use alcohol or drugs?
  • When you think about yourself and the future, what do you visualize?
  • Is the means available to you? Remove the means if possible.
  • What do you think the odds are that you will kill yourself?
Don’t ask the questions back to back. Ask and listen. Let them talk. The more you listen the more the individual will know you care.

The SLAP Method

Determining the severity of the risk isn’t your call to make. The situation needs to be addressed with the parents, the school counselors, or a third party mental health professional from your conversation. That includes you calling 911, school administration, school counselor, parents, family members, etc. It’s important that you have this information though because it needs to be documented and shared when you make the call. S = How (S) pecific are the details of the plan? L = What is the (L) evel of lethality of the plan? (Gun vs. aspirin) A = What is the (A) vailability of the proposed method? P = What is the (P) roximity to helping resources? Be positive and supportive in your approach. Help the individual student see that what they’re feeling in this moment is temporary and that the crisis will pass. Just get the individual to breathe. Let the individual know they’re okay and they will be okay. Validate them for sharing and coming forward. Share about that situations we deal with are temporary, but suicide is forever. It’s okay to say this in the conversation.  Just remember, you are not a trained therapist and you can’t fix their heart. Just care and be there. In the here and the now, your job is to understand, be compassionate, empathetic, and lead the individual to the right person in the moment of crisis. I can’t repeat that enough.

Support Groups and People to Help

Often an individual contemplating suicide is unaware of the different support groups such as (e.g., counselors, family, friends) that are available. Or, they feel they can’t talk to them or they don’t know how to talk to them. Mention the individual’s family as a source of strength, but if they reject the idea, back away quickly. For teens, the source of pain is usually either the family or the peer group. When you know which it is, you are in a better position to help or refer for help. Use constructive questions to help separate and define the person’s problems and remove some of their confusion. To help the person understand their situation, use active listening and respond empathically. (“It sounds like you feel…”). Allow them to talk and you listen.

Being Prepared in Moments of Crisis

If it’s a crisis situation and you need to make crisis management decisions in the moment. Be decisive. Rapid decision making on the part of the intervener is extremely important. If you need someone to help find out who the individual’s trusted and significant adult is and call for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Example: “So, I know you’re really close with your math teacher, Ms. __________. Would you like me to call and see if she is available?”

Moving Forward in the Moment of Crisis

Report the incident or any potential teen suicide behavior to the appropriate school personnel. Again, this is school counselor(s) or school administration. Here again, know the the proper protocol. Know policy and procedure so you move forward according to your school districts guidelines.

Never Leave a Suicidal Person Alone

Before leaving the individual make sure they verbally promise they will be safe and won’t make a forever decision – Commit Suicide. If you can, get the student to sign something that you had written up. Make sure this is the last resort before leaving a student alone in this situation. Teen Suicide and acting on impulse is like what butter is to bread. Know that their behavior and the crisis situation they’re feeling time is of the utmost importance. Do not leave the person alone . . . UNLESS, and this is a big UNLESS, you absolutely have no other choice and you’ve agreed with the person in writing they’ll be okay for the night. If you can’t get hold of school personnel such as counselor or school administration, call the students parents or guardians. Please make a decisive decision for what is in the best interest of the student and their well-being. Save a life first. Depending on the time of day and the whereabouts of this moment, you have to act and do accordingly. Do not keep the person’s threat a secret, but do respect their privacy. Be confident and think through the situation in what is the best, safest, outcome for the individual.

Actions to Avoid

Responding in Crisis Situations isn’t easy, but know that in the moment you need to breathe and relax. It’s going to be okay, but here are some things to avoid. Make no promises. This is a situation where it is never appropriate to promise confidentiality. Do not ignore or lessen the suicidal threat. Avoid sounding shocked at the suicidal thoughts. Do not stress the shock or pain that the suicide may cause their family before you are certain that is not exactly what the student hopes to accomplish. Don’t moralize. Do not argue with a student who may be suicidal. You may not only lose the debate, but also the person. Don’t criticize, ridicule, or infer that the person is crazy. Don’t be concerned by long periods of silence. Allow the student time to think. Do not ignore your own intuitions about a student’s suicidal behavior or changes. Do not try to handle the situation alone. Do not attempt in-depth counseling. Be present. Be patient. Listen.

Teen Suicide: Additional Information

If a suicide does occur, it is essential that the students be provided with accurate facts about the suicide as soon as possible. This information should be given to all students simultaneously. It is necessary to provide sufficient time for discussion and also support for the students. Be careful here, because you need to know what the family/parents are saying. This is also a moment where the school administration may not have had time to brief the school staff. If this is the case, the teachers are already in class and will have to address the situation with their classes.  Another reason why it’s important to address teen suicide: behaviors and responding in moments of crisis. Staff members want to know what to say and how to support their students. Give them permission that they’re capable of having this conversation and that it’s okay to speak from their heart. Be gentle, listen, it’s okay to show your emotions. This is real and the kids want real. They want their teachers to be real and not to sugarcoat situation or events. The students will look to you for guidance and support. It’s okay to just say, “I don’t know right now. I’m shocked. I have to process this and breathe. Right now, that’s all we can all do.” It’s okay to say, “I’m sorry. This really sucks!” Allow them to talk and express their feelings. Getting them to talk openly and together is the best and safest thing as they’re all together. Keep the students in school. School is the safest place for everyone to be. Together.

Teen Suicide Statistics

  • Of the people that commit the act of suicide, 90% have showed signs that indicated they needed help. Most have told someone within the previous couple weeks that they were thinking about hurting themselves.
  • In the past 30 years, teen suicide has increased 300%.
  • Among children between the ages of 10-14, suicide has gone up 112%.
  • For every completed suicide, there are between 300 attempts.
  • Suicidal adolescents are a diverse group. Be aware of the ripple effect.
  • Research shows an increase in adolescent suicide following media coverage of a high profile suicide.
For more information about Jeff Yalden and his work in school communities, please visit www.JeffYalden.com.

Jeff Yalden: Teen Mental Health and High School Assemblies

  • Guide for Parents
  • Teen Suicide Prevention Course
  • Superintendent Reference Letter
  • Teen Suicide Book
  • Reference Letters 2020
  • Best of Jeff Yalden Videos

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Loss, Mental Health, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Addressing Teen Suicide in High School, Behaviors of Suicide Ideation, Books on Teen Suicide, How to deal with a teen suicide, How to respond to Teen Suicidal Ideation, How to teach Teen Mental Health, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Controversy, Mental Health in Schools, Self-Harm Teens, Speakers on Mental Health, Suicidal Ideation in Schools, Suicide Prevention in Schools, Teen Speaker, Teen Suicide, Youth Motivational Speaker Teen Mental Health, Youth Speaker

Why Teens Self-Harm

January 22, 2020 by Jeff Yalden

Why Teens Self-Harm

Let’s talk about why teens self-harm so you as a trusted adult in a teens life can intervene and get the teen the help they’re in need of. We need to be more open about teen mental health in our homes and this is a conversation we need to be having in our schools.

It’s important to understand the signs and symptoms of teens in distress and how best to intervene as their trusted adults.

The Consequences of Self-Harm:

Understand that the consequences of this self-harm behavior goes beyond physical harm. It includes depression, anxiety, stress, overwhelming feels, social isolation – isolation is toxic, and can certainly be an increased risk for a suicide attempt. Intervening early can save a life or a future of negative coping and problem-solving skills.

Self-Harm in our Communities

Self-harm is a highly prevalent behavior in our middle school, high schools, on college campuses, and in our communities. It really highlights the fact that we really need to address this behavior and start the conversations in our schools. Our teachers, coaches, and school personnel are so important and vital in the conversation around teen mental health, self-harm, and suicide prevention.

Self-Harm is the Primer to Suicide

Researchers have speculated that self-harm might prime teens for suicide as long as they’re able to overcome the fear and pain that comes from self-harm. When Jeff ask teens about self-harm and why they haven’t made the forever decision yet, they say, “It would hurt too much.” Or, “I couldn’t do that to my friends, family.” These are major red flags. Jeff says, if a student is self-harming (cutting) and not getting the help they need then two things start to happen:
  1. The individual starts to tolerate the pain
  2. The individual starts to justify why taking their life is the right thing to do

Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Scientists Describe Self-Harm

Non-suicidal self-injury is commonly defined by scientists as a deliberate discrete destruction of body tissue without the intent of suicide.
You’re trying to destroy your body in some way without trying to kill yourself. A wide range of behaviors fit this description of why teens self-harm, including cutting, burning and carving of the skin, and sticking yourself with pins and needles. It’s also pulling hair, punching themselves, and and it’s also reckless behavior and self-medicating – vaping, drugs, alcohol, pot, and more harmful drugs. Our youth usually start self-harming themselves between the ages of 11 and 15. Be mindful it is happening at a much earlier age and also at an older age. Know why teens are self-harming and by knowing why you have a better chance of getting the teen the help they need. Surveys that suggest self-harm in teens is somewhere between 4% and 50%.  If we are looking at self-medicating and self-harm together, Jeff says those that self-medicate are dealing with issues and they’re using self-medicating to cope. If this is the case, we are looking at much more than 50%.

Self-Harm: Increased Risk of Suicide

There is also some evidence that people who engage in non-suicidal self-injury are at an increased risk of suicide. The evidence mostly links strongest with those patients in

Teen Suicide Text to Jeff Yalden

psychiatric care. When Jeff comes to a school community and address teens in one-on-ones here is two feelings he most commonly hears from students about why they’re self-harming. These are two symptoms of teen suicide behavior and warning signs of mental illness.

Self-Harm Thoughts Come From:

  • Feelings of Being Alone – Teens feel they lack meaningful relationships.
  • Disappointment – Teens feel they’re a disappointment to family, friends, teachers, coaches. They don’t want to burden you with their problems.

Visit Jeff’s Theory on Teen Suicide:

Teen Suicide and Suicide Prevention needs to be addressed in schools and in our homes. Jeff Yalden is renowned as a teen mental health speaker.

Teen Suicide and Suicide Prevention needs to be addressed in schools and in our homes. Jeff Yalden is renowned as a teen mental health speaker.

A large majority of teens who report non-suicidal self-injury are not trying to end their life, they’re trying to cope with life and we know that teens today are struggling with coping skills and problem solving skills. In this conversation when the teen is open about their self-harm, they’re asking for help. Our youth struggle with asking for help because they’re afraid to ask, they don’t know, or, they’re afraid to talk because they feel they will be judged.

Coping with Emotions

Teens engage in self-injury as a way to cope with their emotions, particularly the negative ones. Most teens that talk about self-harm say that it works. That self-harm makes them feel better. It calms them down and brings a sense of relief. When Jeff is meeting with a teen who is opening sharing their self-harm, he says,  “Self-harm is a good thing in that you’re recognizing it isn’t the healthy way of asking or getting help.” The teen is often shocked by what Jeff is saying. He makes sure that the individual fully understands what he is saying and what he means.  He helps them to understand they want help and they’re acting out. To know that self-harm isn’t healthy and to want to deal with emotions in a more healthy manner is what Jeff applauds in his talks with teens. With the right help and trusted relationships, the teen will open up and see that asking for help is okay and they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. If you work with teens in any capacity it’s a great responsibility and privilege to help our youth deal with their thoughts and emotions in a more healthy manner. If we don’t teach our youth in their young years, their unhealthy coping skills will manifest and appear later and throughout your life causing greater issues and problems.

But Why Self-Harm?

Self-harm is soothing. Self-harm makes the teen feel better in the moment they’re self-harming.  Self-harm releases endorphins. Endorphins are brain chemicals that relieve pain and can produce euphoria in a way similar to a runner getting that endorphin effect, running. People use self-harm in a ways that other people use drugs or alcohol, food, gambling, or sex . . . to try to feel better in the hear and the now. Young people live in the here and the now and that is a challenge of understanding and getting across to our youth is that life isn’t in the here and the now. Consider this, many people also self-harm as a form of punishment.

Four Reasons Teens Self-Harm

  • relieve tension or stop bad feelings
  • feel something, even if it’s pain; The individual wants control
  • communicate with others to show they are distressed
  • get others to stop bothering them
There is also evidence that people are more likely to self-harm if they have a negative self image of themselves. Take this negative self believe combined with strong negative emotions and poor coping skills, it makes it easier for them to harm the body.

It’s Prime Time for Teens to Engage in Self-Harm

Why do teens self-harm? Well, from a development perspective, it’s the perfect storm for self-harm as teens are growing through these stages of life. Navigating personal relationships, the brains and bodies maturing and going through major changes. Their hormones, emotions, puberty, self identity, and more . . . This is prime time as they’re living 24/7 and simply are trying to breathe with how fast life is passing by and they’re trying to keep up with it. Part of the brain involved in emotion, the amygdala, and part of the brain involved in higher thinking, the cortex, are not fully connected, and as a result, they don’t communicate as well as they do later in life. The teen brain doesn’t mature until they’re about 24-25 years old. It’s very common for teens, particularly early adolescents, to feel high levels of emotion and really not have many skills to deal with the emotion. Teens are more reactionary and don’t understand that in a matter of time answers will appear and what they’re dealing with in the now will be okay in a couple of days, or even in a couple of hours. That is why Jeff always says, “Take Time To Think.” When the brains are fully developed, they may learn other more positive methods for coping with their emotions, such as talking to a friend, exercise, or ask a professional for help. Self-injury does seem to be a behavior many teens grow out of, with around 80 percent reporting that they stopped injuring themselves within five years of starting. That is good news. However, let’s not ignore the fact that we need to engage in the conversations. From a practical point of view, self-harm is an easily accessible behavior for teens who might have a hard time getting a hold of drugs and alcohol.  Let’s get to them before they start self-medicating and engaging in a deeper form of self-harm that they’ll be in denial about.

Gender Differences in Why Teens Self-Harm

Research once suggested that self-harm is a more common behavior among girls. More recent research says there is more of an even split between boys and girls.  Jeff says that today he thinks self-harm is higher amongst boys than it is girls. However, keep in mind, girls and boys might use different methods for hurting themselves and some methods are more noticeable than others. Example, girls are more likely to cut while boys are more likely to use more masculine ways such as reckless behavior or burning themselves. Girls look for more feminine ways and boys look for more manly or masculine ways of self-harm.

Treating Self-Harm

Those that self-harm are more than likely to overcome their behaviors without seeking treatment, but treatment early on is the best help they can receive.  It’s important to discuss this with the teen and the family and help them find more positive coping skills. This does need to be reported and dealt with in a non-judgmental and safe manner as to not upset the individual. Having a record on hand and reporting the situation will take the burden off you the trusted adult who intervened. Consider this . . . Don’t overreact. Don’t get mad. Don’t fix it. Don’t punish the child if you are the parent or guardian. This is very serious and a moment in the child’s life that you can earn their trust and respect in crisis situations. Let them know unconditionally you care about him or her and are willing to help in any way. Validate their thoughts and feelings, but let them know there are safe ways of handling your emotions and you are there to help without judgement. Anyone who has engaged in self-harm, even if it’s just one time, has reported more challenges and difficulties in their life. Psychologically and socially. So, if you know a student or a teenager and they’re self-harming, it is imperative to talk with the individual and get them the right help.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, For Parents, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: High School Mental Health, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health on College Campuses, Self-Harm, self-harm risks, Teen Mental Health, teen mental health speakers, teen self-harm, youth mental health speakers

MENTAL ILLNESS: THE GREATEST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS OF OUR TIME?

January 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part three of a series of principles based on Jeff new new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.
Yalden - Talking to Teen.png

We can no longer sweep mental illness under the carpet…

Teen suicide and the opioid crisis are crippling communities on a scale we have never seen. We have major issues on our hands that point to an underlying component of mental illness – and if the stigma surrounding mental illness leads to under-reported suicides, who is to say that an overdose isn’t a suicide? A death certificate might attribute the cause of a death to suicide, but oftentimes we have no idea about intent.

According to USA Today, more than 175 Americans die daily of drug overdoses – which is greater than the number of teens to make the forever decision to take their lives.

What do we do, then? Can we sit idly by and hope the government will step up and do something, or can we empower ourselves by coming up with our own solutions…

Coming up with the answers ourselves seems like a much better idea.

We all need to step up, and that goes double if we are parents. We need to be present – ready and willing to talk about the issues facing our kids in this complicated world.

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The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that some 300 million people worldwide are affected by depression. That number proves that depression is the most common mental health issue – and depression can be the catalyst that leads people to suicide.

Depression falls under the umbrella of mental illness – and if any diagnosis related to mental illness is ignored or left untreated, a quality life of joy and happiness could be very difficult. Is this you?

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Approximately 44,000 Americans die by suicide every year. One person out of 25 who attempt suicide will succeed.

As if the above heartbreaking statistics weren’t enough, suicide takes a heavy toll on the national economy. The Education Development Center at Brandeis University cited research putting the national cost of suicide at $58.4 billion based on reported numbers alone (much of this represented by lost productivity) – but determined that the cost has been significantly underestimated.

“The researchers calculated that the annual public cost of suicide attempts and suicides in the United States is approximately $93.5 billion—nearly twice previously thought. Their study appears in Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, the official journal of the American Association of Suicidology.”

Our teens are suffering, and the number of teen deaths by suicide is rising. It is truly a public health crisis.

Paying close attention to teen mental health is the new normal for us. We – parents, teachers, school staff, coaches and administrators – need to accept this and understand the responsibility we all have.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, call 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, Teen Suicide

Mental Illness: Breaking the Stigma

January 13, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

OUR SCHOOLS AND MENTAL HEALTH

This blog post is the second in a series based on the principles from my book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

In part one of this series, I talked about eliminating the stigma attached to teen suicide and mental illness. I believe that by talking openly about these issues, we are making enormous progress in this regard. We are beginning to shine a light in the darkness, and we need to get comfortable about being uncomfortable and continuing the conversation.

Your fear of the stigma is part of the illness. 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.”

Yes – the stigma is real. The student living with mental illness believes from experience that others won’t be understanding or empathetic about their mental illness. This impacts their desire to ask for the help they know they need. The threat of stigma coupled with the effort to avoid being labeled are so powerful that more than half of the people who would benefit from mental health services never even obtain an initial interview with a professional.

If you are a teen and are suffering, I encourage you to set aside what you believe to be the stigma and reach out to a trusted adult at your school. You will be glad you did.

Schools can be a great resource and most teachers and counselors care deeply about all of their students. Administrators and other key staff are trusted adults and can point you in the right direction with contacts of support in the community.

Sometimes the young people we need to worry about are not necessarily on the school’s radar. Right now, there are students who are silently struggling with mental illness – and they are hesitant to come forward because of the stigma.

This needs to stop. We need to get past this reluctance to come forward.

We are all responsible for this. The more we talk about mental health, the more we demystify the stereotypes. The more comfortable we become, the more people may realize that this is a very serious situation in our country.

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THE BOTTOM LINE 

More than ever, teens need adult guidance to understand the emotional and physical changes they experience. When teenagers’ moods disrupt their ability to function on a day-to-day basis, this may indicate a serious emotional or mental disorder that needs attention.

Act immediately. Do something. Getting help is OK…

Mental illness is an economic issue and along with raging opioid addiction, it’s becoming the greatest public health crisis of our time.

We must take responsibility and actively work to eliminate the stigma. Talk about mental illness. Talk about teen suicide. It’s OK to share our thoughts and our feelings. It’s OK to be vulnerable.

We need to be present and in tune with what others around us might be going through. We need to work on our emotional intelligence in order to pick up on the cues we might not otherwise notice from others.

When we break the stigma, more people will be comfortable asking for help. Do it for each other. Do it for yourself, your family and your community.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Breaking Stigma, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health Speaker, Mental Illness, School Communities, Schools, Teen Suicide

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