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Mental Health Motivational Speaker & Mental Health Speaker Jeff Yalden

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You are here: Home / Archives for Depression

Teen Suicide and Mental Health

January 11, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part one in a series from Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic
Yalden - Teen Suicide - Cover.jpg
For more than two decades, I have worked in the trenches of teen life as a youth motivator and mental health advocate. I am also a suicide prevention and crisis intervention expert. I can’t count the number of teen suicides I have been through with parents and families who have lost a child to what I call “the forever decision.” I have met students who wished they didn’t have to bear the unspeakable anguish of losing a friend to suicide. It’s staggering. I am also a man who proudly lives with mental illness. I am diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Because of my work and my mental health challenges, I feel that I am in the unique position to help others by telling my story and utilizing my strengths as a public speaker and motivator to break the stigma attached to mental illness and teen suicide. Some of you might know me from my Amazon bestseller, BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day! That book was a joy to write, and it’s packed with principles to motivate and inspire readers of all ages. I am happy that folks find it helpful, and I am grateful. But because mental health is forefront in my life and work, I recently put together a nonprofit, The Jeff Yalden Foundation. Our mission is simple and direct: to prevent suicide, improve community mental health, and shatter the stigma of mental health by initiating a positive movement to speak up and reach out. No man is an island. I don’t want to be a “voice crying out in the wilderness.” We are all about expanding the conversation about mental health and teen suicide. I believe it is imperative that we all get comfortable with being uncomfortable and talking about these things. Because teen suicide has reached epidemic proportions in recent years, it weighed on my heart to get to work on my latest book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.  It was a tough book to write, but I felt that it would serve as an ideal starting point for folks to get a grasp of the severity and scope of teen suicide in this country. It also lays out the signs and red flags, and what to do if you know a young person is at risk. This blog post is the first in a series distilled from my book – yet another way to keep the conversation going. WHAT IS MENTAL ILLNESS? The National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH] states that nearly one in five U.S. adults lives with a mental illness. In a room full of people, you can count on the fact that all of them are going through some type of challenge, and some of them are struggling with a mental health issue. But mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a medical problem, like diabetes or heart disease – and it’s high time that everybody realizes this. The short explanation is that mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion, or behavior. Mental illness is common. In most cases, it’s treatable. The vast majority of individuals with mental illness continue to function in their daily lives. You might find this definition from the NIMH useful: “Serious mental illness is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder [excluding developmental and substance use disorders] resulting in serious functional impairment, which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life disorders.” TEENS DON’T WANT TO DIE Most teens that attempt suicide because they may have depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder. These disorders amplify the pain a teen may feel. It is because of this that every suicidal teen should be seen by a medical professional immediately and that all threats and/or red flags be taken very seriously.
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It is my position that teens don’t want to die. They attempt or succeed in suicide in order to escape bad situations and/or painful, overwhelming, and emotionally-charged thoughts and feelings. Remember: Our young people live in the here-and-the-now and lack the coping and problem-solving skills they need to see a situation clearly. To them, perhaps a temporary situation in their lives is seen as the end of the world. I am a huge advocate for therapy and counseling with a trusted adult – a professional who specializes in mental health and can guide a young person through suicidal thoughts and teach them how to process and respond to their thoughts and feelings. YOUNG PEOPLE: If you are finding ways to justify taking your life, a simply switch in thought patterns can reduce the negativity and help you build better coping skills. If you are afraid of going to see a counselor, let me ask you this: What’s the downside? You may say the stigma is the downside – but this is your life and you want to be healthy and successful. Do not be ashamed about seeking and asking for help. A tough person is one who has the courage to ask for help. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s ALWAYS OK to ask for help. The more we talk about mental illness and teen suicide, the greater the awareness, acceptance, and resources become for our communities. To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Best Youth Motivational Speakers, bipolar II disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Crisis Intervention, Depression, Mental Wellness, NIMH, PTSD, Suicide Prevention, Suicide Prevention Expert, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide, Teen Suicide Speaker for Professional Development

A Conversation with Isabella

November 27, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

One of the greatest things about my work as a youth motivational speaker is that I get to plant seeds, give hope and inspire young people. One of the most challenging things is that sometimes I get to help, but I might not know the end result of the work I do. Thankfully, I know the end result when it comes to my friend Isabella, whom I had the chance to talk to a year after I met her. She is now 18 and has granted me permission to make the VIDEO included with this post. Last year when I met with her at her school, we made a decision together – and Isabella did the work. What broke my heart then was that we had to put her into an ambulance alone for a ride to a hospital more than an hour away. But when I recently returned to the school community, I couldn’t wait to hear about how she is doing now – and I want to share that progress with you. I’m a fan.
The following is an edited transcript of the above VIDEO: YALDEN:  How are you doing, Isabella? It was a hard day a year ago… ISABELLA:  It actually was, but what was really hard was accepting that I did need the help. I went on this hurtful journey of depression and PTSD – feeling like my auntie’s death was my fault. I believed it was my fault. I believed that my mom’s sadness was my fault – and that caused me to go into a deep, deep depression. I felt like I was locked. This little girl inside me wanted to get help, but we were afraid. Jeff Yalden came to our school and was talking about mental health and how to help people – and he was the key to that lock. I came and talked to him. I told him about what I was going through, and he told me what we were going to do. At first, I was afraid. It wasn’t an exciting journey, but I needed to do it. I needed to get the help I needed. Yes, it was sad that I was going to be leaving my school and going into this hospital – but I was happy to get the help I needed. I want to thank Jeff because, even though he said I did the work – nobody would have said I needed to go and get help. It was that encouragement… YALDEN: Thank you. I couldn’t be any more grateful, appreciative or inspired – but ultimately, I never want to send someone to the hospital without them having ownership. If you don’t have ownership, you are not going to take it seriously – you are not going to be honest. What made you that day want to listen to say, “I need help…”? What made you think you were ready? ISABELLA:  Seeing my friends cry, honestly. I have one friend who he watched me through this depression. He had seen me cry and have breakdowns. I didn’t want to see him cry, nor did I want to see my mom cry. I wore a mask around here. I faked happy and pretended everything was OK – but behind closed doors, I let out all of my feelings.  I felt like my life was worthless, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. And so, that’s what gave me the ownership to say, “Jeff – I need the help…can you please help me,” and you did. I came back a year later. I did miss some school, but I got back, and I went to summer school – and now I am graduating with 30 credits.  I never really thought that I would be here – here right now in this school. I didn’t think I would live to see this day because of my depression. All I can tell you guys is – TALK! I know it’s scary to talk to a trusted adult – but honestly, it helps a lot. YALDEN – When you open up, you actually feel like there is less anxiety and you feel better, right? And you did the work despite the fear of the unknown. You pushed through and here you are on the other side. Can you give kids – 17 and 18 – permission that it’s OK to talk? If you have pain in your heart, what you don’t speak out, you end up acting out. And we can’t help if we don’t know. ISABELLA: I give permission to 17, 18 and sometimes younger than that – because it’s not just teenagers. It’s middle-schoolers and surprisingly, elementary school kids – because they ARE bullied, and words hurt. And this is pretty off-topic, but don’t bully. You really don’t know what a person is going through. They could be fighting depression. They could be fighting something else. Just don’t add onto it. Why be mean when we are all put on this earth to be kind? I don’t like to be mean. I really don’t – and to any kids who are fighting depression and feeling like they are alone – listening to that voice in their heads – you are stronger. Jeff made me see that I am stronger. That voice in my head was just a voice. I have great friends. I have an amazing mom. And I have amazing teachers – so if anyone out there is struggling and feels like they are alone – talk to a trusted adult. Talk to a teacher. Even talk to your counselor, because you need to take that first step toward getting the help you need. Trust me – the dark side? You’ll get out of it, and you will come to the bright side. It’s so beautiful here. YALDEN: you have to be willing to lose your ego and open your heart. It is hard – but it’s part of growing and not being afraid to talk and ask for help. My friends, I was so inspired to come back to this community. I want to protect her identity – but when she came up to me after the assembly this morning, I just lit up There is a great outcome on the other side. You just have got to be willing to do the work.

Teen Mental Health Speaker: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic. His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic   Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide Prevention Expert, teen depression, Teens

Jarrid Wilson Suicide: I’m Angry and Disappointed

October 29, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

In September, Harvest Christian Fellowship associate pastor, mental health advocate and author Jarrid Wilson made the forever decision to end his life by suicide at only 30 years old.

Before I go any further, I want to send my thoughts and prayers to his wife and sons – to his family, followers and fans. It is with a heavy heart that I write this, but it’s also my responsibility – as it was also Jarrid’s responsibility.

I hope you understand my intentions for sharing my feelings…

Jarrid was a passionate advocate for mental health and suicide prevention. He had the megachurch behind him where he was a pastor. I think of myself as a Christian, and I know that there are many pastors out there living with their share of darkness. I have been fortunate enough to work with a number of them, and they have shared their struggles with me. I have become much more aware of these struggles and in some cases, concerned.

As a suicide prevention and mental health advocate myself – primarily working in school communities with teens, teachers and staff, parents and community leaders – I’ve met and conversed at length with many leaders of churches, and they’ve all told me I’m right and to continue sharing the message when I talk about church and mental health.

Pastors are not perfect

Let me just tell you that 53% of pastors have an addiction to pornography and the occupation of being a pastor is one of the highest for suicidal ideation. I don’t need to go further.

This isn’t about bashing any pastor or any church. It’s about full transparency and not hiding behind a faith to heal your heart or emotions – or hiding behind a congregation for validation. We clearly need more truth, and I think our churches have an incredible responsibility in the mental health crisis we currently live in.

I’m angry and I have a right to be. Here is exactly why I feel as though I do. I’ve been speaking and advocating for mental health and suicide prevention for 28 years.

Jeff Yalden: A Man Who Proudly Lives with Mental Illness

I live with mental illness. I’m diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD]. I travel nearly 180 days a year giving hope, educating, and inspiring many – as did Jarrid. I’m very protective of who is speaking and giving hope and educating those who need help and hope. This isn’t something we should take lightly, and I see too many people thinking that since they have a story, they can save lives. People struggling with mental illness require the help of professionals – not people that can trigger emotions and leave pieces to be picked up later.

Jarrid Wilson’s final act of suicide, in my opinion, sent more of a message than any of his work as an advocate. Any hope he’d given to anyone struggling and who trusted in him was negated by his forever decision in the end.

Because of things like this, I feel that my 28 years of working – speaking throughout the country on mental health and suicide prevention – has become more of a challenge, and this was a big slap in the face…

It’s not OK that Wilson, who was in a position of leadership and trust – serving people and doing kingdom work, ultimately decided to take his own life.

I WISH HE KEPT FIGHTING AND ASKING FOR HELP.

 I believe there is always help available. Take the time to just breathe…

Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps there is a depth of despair I can’t fathom. I’m learning and trying to understand.

I will not give up, but I am angry and really disappointed in Jarrid. As an advocate, you know the work you have to do because you know first-hand the importance of self-care.

Did Jarrid not live the truth he so proudly displayed in his speaking or the books he’d written? Did he not open up about his troubles to his wife or senior pastor? Did he forsake therapy because he thought turning to God would heal his mental illness? Was he even on medication?

I have questions, and I feel like I have the right to know because I fight the battle myself.

Jarrid’s high-pressure role at Harvest Christian Fellowship seemed to be too much, and one of his friends said that he had expressed an interest in stepping down. Did this sign go unnoticed by church leadership? Was there even a conversation as to why he wanted to step down? Was there support for him?

Is the church too big to include input from mental health professionals?

A person I’d like to have lunch with is Mr. Dale Partridge, a pastor and a friend of Wilson’s. What exactly does he know and what did they try and do for Jarrid? It could be possible that Jarrid himself wasn’t as truthful as he could have been about the depth of his pain.

Church Leadership

Before I get out of my car and go into a facility to make a presentation, I always ask God to use me as a vehicle to provide hope, to educate and to plant seeds. I feel strongly that God is with me – but I also feel strongly that God has blessed us with mental health professionals, who are crucial in helping people create a toolbox and resources to help them cope. This is the God I know.

Is it possible that we have churches that are reckless enough to put people with mental illness in positions of leadership? Do certain churches place people into leadership roles even when these people doubt their faith?

Don’t get me wrong. I know we have wonderful houses of worship with fantastic people who lead their congregations – but like anything else, we also have imperfection and unbiblical practices from people who are in positions of great responsibility.

Why are our churches putting these people in such positions? I’ve read that many church leaders have been open about their mental health struggles and their doubts of the Bible and doctrine.

As a man who lives with mental illness, I am the healthiest I’ve ever been, having more fun than ever and feel more present in my work. A huge part of this boils down to the fact that I am doing the work – counseling, therapy, medication and self-care.  I wake up early enough to make sure I take care of myself first.

Self-care is not selfish.

I understand that we are busy. I can also understand the “second-hand trauma” associated with serving others who also struggle – listening to them and acutely aware of their pain. It can be very hard. After years in the trenches of mental illness, I have learned that you can empathize and be compassionate, but you can’t carry the darkness of others.

Anyone in the vocation of serving others – especially pastors – need privacy, not publicity. We need diligent prayer, not overwhelming pressure. We need to truly become servants and should refuse to be placed on pedestals. When a church officer falls, it becomes like a domino effect and causes others to fall. This causes ripples of confusion, fear and doubt among the congregation.

God has given clear instructions that offer protection to His church. Every time we decide to break His commands, we only break ourselves. A pastor is not simply someone who is willing. A pastor is not simply someone who is gifted. A pastor is not simply someone who is educated. He is a man who meets all God’s qualifications. This is safety for God’s church.

I don’t feel my words are coming from ignorance., nor, is my belief uneducated. I feel we need to wake up and see the responsibility we have to one another.

In the world we live in, almost half of all adults will experience mental illness in their lifetime. With being “overwhelmed” as a new clinical diagnosis of mental illness, I believe this to be even higher than half.

We do live in a broken world, but that isn’t an excuse. I’m not asking for perfection or perfect leaders, but I’m asking for accountability and leadership where we take care of one another. I’m very open to a pastor who isn’t perfect, but I want a pastor who is doing the work as in, “Do as I do and as I say. Let me lead you by influence. We do this together.”

For anyone living with mental illness I need you to know it’s OK to not be OK. But if you don’t do something about it, then it’s not OK.  A true leader should know they lead best by their influence and not by spoken words.

It is not shameful to live with mental illness. It is contagious to seek help and want to get better. You can live a very healthy life when learning about mental illness and not ignoring it.

I do not want to come across as judgmental or shaming, I’m just angry for the work we all do and sad for Jarrid’s family and all those that listened to him.

Please forgive me if I offended anyone with how I feel. Mental health is an epidemic and I will continue to work hard – on myself and in service to others. I will always pray for people like Jarrid that hurt so much and ultimately felt the struggle was too much. For Jarrid’s family, his fans, and the love of my work I will always advocate strongly for self-care and complete transparency.

Let’s all learn and grow together.

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as the number one Teen Mental Health Speaker in all of North America. Jeff is a Suicide Crisis Intervention Expert and Suicide Prevention Trainer working with hundreds of school communities every year.

He’s an Amazon Best Selling Author of four books, including Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic and BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day!  His podcast, Mental Health & Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on families and teens.

Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has traveled to 50 states and 48 countries delivering his message, “About Life.”

From 2005-2011, Jeff was a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s hit realty show MADE.

As a celebrity teen & family life coach, Jeff gets the heart of the matter helping teens, young adults, families, and communities in their struggles together.

He’s a Gulf War Veteran and a two- time Marine-of-the-year recipient 1991-1992. He was Mr. New Hampshire Male America, 1990.

Every year over 1 million people are left inspired by Jeff Yalden’s inexhaustible energy that permeates after he speaks.

Jeff has an online suicide prevention course for school communities, parents, teachers, staff, and teens. Check it out HERE.

For more information, please visit www.jeffyalden.com and www.thejyf.org

PURCHASE Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/jeffyaldenfoundation

Filed Under: Depression, Loss, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Church, Church Leadership, Church Mental Health Speakers, Harvest Church, High School Mental Health Speakers, Jarrid Wilson, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, pastor, Suicide, Suicide Prevention, Teen Speaker

Life Changing Conversation with Teens

October 18, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff Yalden Inspired by Conversation with Teens

Recently, I visited Sequim High School in Washington State. Sequim is a beautiful place along the Dungeness River near the Olympic Mountains – and whenever I am in a spot like this, I feel grateful for the opportunity to take it all in. The Sequim school community was amazing. One of the things I truly love about my full-day school programs is that I get to meet and really get to know the students. They are so open when we talk, and that’s inspiring. Because I have more time, I learn more about them – what they think, how they feel – and I am able to get an understanding of their emotions by engaging with them. By listening. The students are enthusiastic, and I could tell that they had so many questions they didn’t seem to know how to ask – but once you gain their trust (and their respect), they are eager to talk. What happens next is absolutely amazing… During one conversation in this VIDEO, a young lady asked me a great question: “What makes you valuable?” I thought about it and told her that what makes me valuable is that I’ve been able to take my life experiences and choose to be a victor through my circumstances instead of a victim. It hasn’t been easy – but in getting to know myself, it’s an honor to share what I have learned in order to plant seeds of wisdom, hope and knowledge in our youth. Her next question was incredibly thought-provoking, deep and intense: “If you lost all of what makes you valuable, would you still be valuable?” Holy Cow! What really makes us valuable?  It’s different for everyone, but what hit me with this question is that I don’t need my life’s experiences or even my career as a youth and mental health speaker to feel valuable. I get it, but I don’t think I always understood that. It’s my passion to inspire our school communities, talking about mental health and life and helping to make sense of it all for young people and families – but I don’t need the applause to feel valuable or worthy. What makes me valuable is how I feel about who I am – my heart – being a kind, respectful man of influence and dignity. I was amazed by this exchange and could go on and on about it and what it meant to me as well as to the young people involved. It was remarkable getting to know these teens and speaking heart-to-heart with them. I was inspired. I hope you enjoy this video and share it. The next time you engage in conversation with teens, remember this: Teens don’t care about titles, research or statistics. They care about the answers to two questions…
  • Do you care about me?
  • Can I trust you?
If you have a teen in your life, be sure to give them time. Be patient. Don’t judge. Speak to them and not at them. When you do that, I promise you that you’ll have an amazing conversation that will inspire you as much as you might inspire them. Be the trusted adult. Be a significant influence in the life of a child and you’ll be making a difference in the world.

Who is Jeff Yalden?

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top teen mental health and suicide prevention experts in the world.  He works with teens and adults, school communities and mental health professionals.  He’s a four-time bestselling author, radio show host, podcast host, online course creator, non-profit foundation founder, and advocate for mental health. Teen Suicide Prevention Online Course for Schools and Communities: CLICK HERE For more information about Jeff Yalden, CLICK HERE. BUY Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “WHY” behind America’s Suicide Epidemic. Check out Jeff’s Facebook page HERE.

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Conversation with Teens, Conversations with Teens, High School Motivational Speaker, Mental Health, Mental Health Speakers, Sequim High School, teen depression, Teen Mental Health, Teen Motivational Speaker, Teen Speakers, Washington State, Youth Motivational Speaker, Youth Speakers

A Memorable Day at The Meadows – A Psychiatric Hospital

October 4, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Teen Mental Health Speaker and Suicide Prevention Advocate

Jeff Yalden has been speaking in education and to school communities for the past 28 years. He started in 1992 while stationed at Cecil Field Naval Air Station Marine Barracks. One day, a phone call came into the office asking if a Marine would be available to come down to Apopka High School in Apopka, FL and speak to the Marine ROTC Cadets.  Jeff, having just been meritoriously promoted to Corporal, said he’d be honored to drive two hours down on his day off and talk to the cadets. Little did he know that this opportunity would lead him into a career he was made for and the man he has become as a result of taking the initiative on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Perhaps it was fate. Maybe it was his as yet undiagnosed bipolar II disorder, which kept him running full-speed-ahead – keeping him active and always wanting more out of life. For Jeff, bipolar is a blessing and a curse.  It’s crippling and painful, and has almost been the death of him – but it’s also been a blessing because Jeff is resilient, hard-working, and always striving to succeed in business and in life. Before therapy and medication, Jeff was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but after his diagnosis and being put on medication, he is a whole new person. “I am proud to be a man that lives with mental illness,” he said. Being proud hasn’t come easy, and his greatest regret is that he has hurt people in his journey toward getting to know who he is – the man he is slowly becoming. As a youth speaker in his early years Jeff didn’t talk much about mental illness.  He talked a lot about resiliency, self-esteem, and life’s obstacles.  Fast forward 28 years: Jeff spends his time focusing on and talking about mental health and suicide prevention.  It’s like he’s come full circle – telling his story about where he was, what he has gone through, and now the going through and becoming part.  Jeff wouldn’t want it any other way.  Life is a journey.  It’s not a race.  He says this a lot, but he also says, “Get to know who you are and be comfortable with who you are not.”  That is all part of the journey of life. Jeff just wrapped up a week speaking to high schools in the Clearfield-Jefferson County of Pennsylvania.  What a week it had been speaking at four amazing schools and to parents and community each night.  On this day, Friday, Jeff was spending the day at The Meadows.  A psychiatric hospital just outside of Penn State University.  They had invited Jeff to speak to their patients. Jeff was inspired by this and was excited to be a part of it. Not that it was more important than any other talk or visit, but this one was different because he spent time as a patient in psychiatric hospitals at 16 and again at 22.

Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Jeff doesn’t talk about these visits in his presentations – and it’s not that he is embarrassed or ashamed. Quite simply, the subject doesn’t fit with most of these. It’s part of his story, but not significant enough to add to his usual talks. On this day, though, he was proud to talk about it – especially to let the patients know that it was OK to be where they were. He made sure to tell them that they needed to be present in these moments and take in the support and guidance offered them before going back out into the real world where they are expected to live, reason and act accordingly. It was nearly two hours of talking and answering questions.  The staff thought he’d have their attention for maybe 20-30 minutes.  Everyone was in awe about how incredible the patients were -attentive, inspired and and eager to want more. Jeff is real.  He’s not afraid to be brutally honest about his journey of living with mental illness.  He is not skittish about being one with his audience and letting them know that it can be OK.  You have to do the work, but paradoxically the work is so much easier than not doing the work.  You can live a healthy life with mental illness, but you have to make your health a mindset and a priority each and every day. If you are interested in Jeff Yalden coming and speaking to your school community or mental health event, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or www.TheJYF.org today.  You’ll be a HERO when you invite Jeff Yalden to speak at your next event. Check out Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.  

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Apopka High School, Cecil Field, Clearfield-Jefferson, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, The Meadows Psychiatric Center, USMC

Teen Suicide & Mental Health Night at Catholic Church in Fishers, Indiana

October 4, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

The Catholic Church and Suicide Prevention?

Jeff Yalden speaks Suicide Prevention in the Catholic Church

Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church invited teen mental health and suicide prevention expert, Jeff Yalden to Fishers, Indiana  to speak truth to parents and the congregation about today’s youth and the suicide epidemic plaguing our country. For more than two hours, Jeff mesmerized the nearly 500 people that came from all over the outskirts of Indianapolis to hear his straight talk about today’s teens growing up in the digital age – and the potential adverse effect these devices are having on them. Jeff asked one question before speaking: “What is the Catholic religion’s stance on suicide among its congregation?” Jeff wanted to make sure that he was going to be safe talking about teen suicide in the church, and it turned out that he was. His point of contact and the pastor, Father Dan, were incredible human beings – and they sat with him for an hour before people started arriving.  They had a great discussion about God, the church, the people, faith and so much more. “I was so honored and excited after spending this time with Pastor Dan and his leadership team,” Jeff said.  

The Catholic Church has changed over the years when it comes to suicide. According to theology of the Catholic Church, suicide is considered a grave matter, an element required for mortal sin.  They believed that one’s life is the property of God and that one’s body is a gift to the world.  To destroy life is to wrongly assert dominion over what God wanted for his child – and this act of taking one’s life was held as despair over salvation.
Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. – Catechism of the Catholic Church Suicide is seriously contrary to justice, hope, and charity. It is forbidden by the fifth commandment, “Thou shalt not kill.”
As of most recently, the official Catechism of the Catholic Church indicates that the person who committed suicide may not always be fully right in their mind, and thus not 100 percent morally culpable: “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.” Theological author Jonathan MS Pierce puts it this way: “The Catholic Church prays for those who have committed suicide, knowing that Christ shall judge the deceased fairly and justly. The Church also prays for the close relations of the deceased, that the loving and healing touch of God will comfort those torn apart by the impact of the suicide.” In days past, people who made the forever decision to commit suicide were denied a Christian funeral. That’s beyond harsh – and Pope Pius X said, “In the Fifth Commandment God forbids suicide, because man is not the master of his own life no more than of the life of another. Hence the Church punishes suicide by deprivation of Christian burial.” Today, thankfully, it’s understood that God is ultimately the final judge of people places and things – and the Catholic Church has lightened up on its stance on suicide. It’s understood today that God ultimately is the final judge of people, places, and things and thus the Catholic Religion has lightened up its stance on Suicide. National Suicide Prevention Week takes place in September in the United States – where mental health professionals and advocates share tips and advice on suicide prevention – and lay out warning signs, symptoms, myths, facts and more in the hope of stemming the tide and preventing suicide.

Mr. Jarrid Wilson . . . Pastor and Mental Health Advocate Dies by Suicide

In September, pastor and mental health advocate Jarrid Wilson took his life. He was only 30. Just a few hours before his forever decision, he tweeted about Jesus’ compassion for the depressed and suicidal: “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure depression. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure PTSD. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure anxiety. But that doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort. He ALWAYS does that.”  This was his last and final tweet before he chose to take his life, leaving behind many fans and followers, a wife and two children. This act of selfishness really hurt Jeff and made him very bitter about who advocates for mental health – and especially those who would also call themselves pastors. Jeff is very protective of this conversation – the conversation around suicide and about eliminating the stigma surrounding it – and feels strongly that whomever advocates must be vigilant about doing the work themselves. If someone with a sizable following is sending a message of hope, that person’s responsibility to others is great. If that person decides to die by suicide, this sends a more powerful message than the original one, the implication being that it was all for naught. “It’s been a tough month.” says Jeff. Wilson had been a long-time advocate for mental health. He and his wife founded “Anthem of Hope,” a Christian outreach for the depressed and suicidal. His death followed that of Pastor Andrew Stoecklein, another young, vibrant evangelical pastor and mental health advocate who committed suicide last year.

Teen Suicide is an Epidemic and The Catholic Church has a Responsibility

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC] reports that suicide rates among working-age Americans (from 16-64) 34 percent between 2000 and 2016.  Among Americans aged 10-24, the spike was even more dramatic – CDC data shows a 50 percent increase in suicides in this group between 2000 and 2017. The suicides of these two pastors highlight this concerning upward trend in suicide, especially among young people – even among those who are part of a Christian community. During his visit with the community at Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church, Jeff talked about some things our youth are dealing with today that young people didn’t deal with as few as ten years ago.  A key point was the fact that today’s youth are connected 24/7/365 and constantly stressed and anxious – living in a world where they are always comparing their lives to those of others. Jeff says in his book, “Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic”  . . . that if you spend more than four to five hours a day on social media or your smartphone you are 70 percent more likely to have major depression in your life.

Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Jeff’s book doesn’t get into the psychological sciences and Catholic spirituality, philosophy and theology. Jeff wrote the book as today’s youth think, reason, and act.  It is straightforward and to the point, written in a concrete manner that makes it and easy to understand the depth of teens, their brokenness and why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling. Certainly, one of the driving factors of an increase in suicide among teens and young adults is their constant connectedness to the world through smartphones and the social media platforms, combined with a lack of greater meaning in their lives. According to a 2015 article from the peer-reviewed research journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, “frequent social media use in children and teenagers is associated with poor psychological functioning, as it limits their daily face-to-face interactions, impairing their ability to keep and maintain meaningful relationships.” “The lack of coping skills and problem-solving skills make it very difficult for today’s youth who live in the here and the now to understand that not all things are taken care of in the present moment.  Our youth don’t understand that today,” says Yalden. One of the biggest suicide prevention tools that communities of faith can provide, Yalden says, is being full communities of faith, where people feel connected and non-judged, valued, and validated as whole people. Our Churches have to be more involved with families, our youth and more present in our communities – but in non-judgmental ways.  Every child needs to have a significant and trusted adult they can reach out to and our churches are filled with so many loving and kind people.  Our churches are a great place where a difference can be made immediately. Jeff sends a special thank-you to Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church and to Pastor Dan and his staff for having this conversation. If you are interested in Jeff coming to your Church or School Community, please visit www.JeffYalden.com. Purchase you copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

Filed Under: Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Books on Teen Mental Health, Books on Teen Suicide, God and Mental Health, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health and Teens Books, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide

JEFF YALDEN REACHES OUT TO THE BROOKFIELD, MISSOURI SCHOOL COMMUNITY

May 18, 2018 by Roger Yale

Jeff Yalden’s heart sank when he heard the news of two completed suicides and one suicide attempt last month in Brookfield, Missouri. Two more young lives cut short by what he calls the “forever decision” in an area that has suffered too much loss already. Yalden is a teen mental health and youth motivational speaker. He is also a teen suicide and crisis intervention expert. For more than 25 years, he has worked in the trenches of communities hit hard by suicide contagion, and has proven to be effective in preventing further suicides and bringing hope to communities that have lost hope. Yalden visited the Brookfield school community a year ago, and remains friends with Angie Smith Wallace, a STUCO advisor and teacher at Brookfield High School. Wallace also founded the Taylor Gilpin Wallace Foundation for Suicide Prevention on behalf of her son after her son made the forever decision to take his own life. In the above video, Yalden reached out because several people in the community reached out to him. “Words can’t adequately describe the pain I feel in my heart when I hear of the death of a young person, or in your case the many losses your community has felt over the past year,” he said. “I can tell you now that you might not be done, but you have to do something immediately.” In the video, Yalden laid out the two questions that young people need to have answered by the trusted adults in their lives: Can I trust you? Do you care about me? He also talked about the fact that most young people don’t want adults to fix their problems. “They want to feel validated that what they are thinking and feeling is normal. Growing up and understanding is on their terms, and today’s teens are growing up differently than their parents did.” For more about this, check out Yalden’s TEDx talk HERE. The factors contributing to suicide, put forth by Dr. Thomas Joiner at Florida State University, are three-fold: “I am alone.” “I am a burden.” “I have the desire for suicide.” “Teens don’t want to die,” said Yalden. “They live in the here-and-now, and see solutions to their problems as so far out there that they can’t solve in the now, so the pain of ‘I am alone’ and ‘I am a burden’ carries on day after day, week after week – and they get discouraged with never being happy.” Yalden said that leads to a persistent form of depression called dysthymia, which could lead to the desire for suicide. “Teens need relationships. They need trusted adults that are patient, giving of their time, understanding, supportive, and love them unconditionally,” he said, adding that it is imperative that we teach them coping skills and problem-solving skills and instill in them the importance of balance and boundaries, especially when it comes to social media, the Internet and YouTube. Too much exposure to social media, as Yalden explains in this video, can also cause depression and other mental health issues in our teens. Mental illness threatens to become the biggest public health crisis in America, and this is no longer a family issue, according to Yalden. This is an economic issue. He said that mental illness and depression factor into 90 percent of suicides – and many suicides are preceded by factors that we don’t even notice. “Why should we notice it when we weren’t even looking for it,” he said. “The individuals that are on the schools’ radars aren’t necessarily the ones we need to look out for. A lot of school communities have said to me, ‘Jeff, we didn’t even know there was a problem. There were no signs. This is the last person we would have suspected.’” As a man who proudly lives with mental illness every day, Yalden is all about crushing the stigma attached to it. “It’s OK to ask for help!” Yalden can’t overemphasize the importance of a healthy self-esteem. “I promise – on the other side of fear is self-esteem. Don’t let anyone take that from you. You have to do the work, though,” he said. He said that this very sad time affects us all – and this is a time that will shape us. “This will either expose wounds or build muscles. It’s your choice how you respond. Allow yourself to grieve on your terms. I am so sorry and thinking of you all,” he said. For more information, go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit HERE. To book Jeff now, call (800) 948-9289.

Filed Under: Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Loss, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Brookfield High School, Crisis Intervention, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide, Suicide Prevention Expert, Taylor Gilpin Wallace Foundation for Suicide Prevention, TEDx, Teen Suicide, Thomas Joiner, Youth Motivational Speaker

JEFF YALDEN RETURNS TO ATCHISON, KANSAS

April 3, 2018 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

EDITOR’S NOTE: Jeff will be on hand all day tomorrow, April 3, for students, parents, community members, and recent graduates. For details, contact Atchison High School at (913) 367-4162.
Hey Atchison Community – A lot of people in the community and parents have reached out to me and shared with me the latest loss. First and foremost, I want to share my thoughts and prayers to the young man’s family, friends and the people that know the young man and the family. I am sorry. I was just in your community. I love your community. I wanted to come by and offer you a couple of thoughts. My friends, I don’t think suicide is ever the right decision. I think suicide is a permanent action to a temporary problem – but I get it. I understand where young people are. I want to share with you again two reasons why young people end up with the thought for the desire for suicide: 1) Young people feel alone – basically it feels like you don’t have meaningful relationships. I get it. We live in a world today where we spend so much time on smartphones and social media, and it’s about balance and boundaries. I don’t really want to go there, but if you spend more than four or five hours a day on screen time, you are 70 percent more likely to have depression in your life. So – I want to encourage you – less screen time and more social engagement. And when you have social engagement – whether it’s a trusted adult, whether it is your friends – where you are problem solving, communicating and you are together – listen, that takes care of the “I am alone.” That makes sense, right? 2) The other reason is that you feel like you are a burden. This basically means that you feel that you don’t make any notable contributions to the world and that you serve as a liability – and that you are disappointing your parents, teachers or coaches because maybe their expectations are so high – and you are spending so much time on your smartphones that you are not focusing on things that are really important: Your motivation. Your school, your future – your direction. Here’s what happens: When emotionally you feel like you are alone and that you are a burden – and it lasts so long – suddenly you end up with that desire. I don’t think young people want to die. I think one of the problems is that young people live in the here and the now. Young people – you don’t know what you don’t know. Like, you don’t know what it was like at one time to not have smartphones, Internet, social media or YouTube – so you are the first generation growing up with this. I think we have done a disservice to our young people as a society. We have given young people these rights and these privileges where this frontal lobe, or frontal development has not matured and come into focus – so the emotions that come with smartphones, the Internet and social media – we’re not mature enough to emotionally handle the result of this. If your parents aren’t going to say no and teach you balance and boundaries – it’s hard for you to put that balance and those boundaries in your life – but that’s something that you have to start working on. Social and emotional learning does not come as a result of being on the screen all of the time. Online time can affect mental health in a negative way. Social engagement social interaction can help your mental health. Think about it. Two of the biggest things that we are concerned about with teenagers today are coping skills and problem-solving skills. We live in the here and the now. We think that we go to the bank and an ATM spits out cash. We send a text and get an immediate reply… Again – Atchison, Kansas – I don’t know the details on this young man. But I will tell you this: It’s going to be OK. My friends, it’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK to want to talk to somebody. I meet young people all the time and they say, “Yo – I don’t want to talk to anybody because every time I talk to someone, it’s like they are telling me my emotions don’t matter. I shouldn’t feel like this, and it’s like they aren’t validating how I feel.” Part of being young is about having crazy emotions and feelings – and not understanding them. And it’s OK to have that trusted adult to go talk to. I spoke at a school in Indiana today, and a girl wanted to talk afterwards. The girl has been in counseling for two years. Do you know that today she told me more than her two counselors knew about her? I asked her why she felt comfortable telling me what she did. “I don’t know,” she said. “You seem like you get it.” Don’t you think you have trusted adults in your life that – if you gave them the chance – they would get it too? Folks – we can’t help you if we don’t know. “Well Jeff – I don’t know how to talk to someone…” When you didn’t know how to ride a bike, that didn’t stop you, did it? When you didn’t know how to ask a girl out – you still found a way, right? When trusted adults in your life sit down with you and something is wrong, they know what to say. You just have to be willing to just go up to them and say, “I don’t know what to say but I am kind of really struggling.” When I spoke to that child today, I can’t tell you how many times she said, “I don’t know” in tears – and you know what I did? I just kept asking her if she felt safe and if she knew she wasn’t in trouble. As long as she knew those two things – little by little, she opened up. It was a beautiful day. My point is simply this: Suicide is a permanent action to a temporary problem. If you are afraid to talk to a trusted adult and you don’t open up to anybody – and living in the here and the now – all of this pressure is so much that you start to think that the desire is there – but it doesn’t ever need to get to the point where you have that desire. But you have to have the courage to realize that it’s OK to go talk to somebody. I am praying for you. I’m sorry, and I love you guys. Don’t be afraid to open your heart and find a trusted adult. And they are going to support you and encourage you – but you have to open up. For more information, visit www.jeffyalden.com To book Jeff now, call (800)948-9289 Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit: www.jeffyaldenfoundation.com

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, High Schools, Loss, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Atchison, Atchison High School, Crisis Intervention, Jeff Yalden. Mental Health Speaker, Kansas, School Assemblies, Suicide Prevention, teen depression, Teen Suicide

TEEN SUICIDE: THE “WHY” BEHIND THE EPIDEMIC

March 7, 2018 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

My name is Jeff Yalden. Many know me as a youth motivational speaker. For 26 years now, this has been my passion. Since 1992, I have presented to more than 4000 live audiences at schools, colleges and mental health organizations in this country and around the world – and it is an absolute joy to inspire young people – to see their faces light up when they experience an A-HA! moment – and to help guide them on their lives’ journeys. That being said, I am also a teen suicide prevention and crisis intervention expert. This is the tough part. I have grieved with so many families over the years, and with each devastating loss, the heartache and pain – the very idea of trying to be a source of hope and comfort only compounds the sobering realization that the teen suicide epidemic continues to grow. Mental health is not just a family issue anymore. I think it’s quickly becoming an economic issue that could become the biggest public health crisis of our time. The biggest problem I have is that schools today are afraid to talk about suicide. I get it. I understand, but we need to reach a point where we get comfortable about being uncomfortable. But I’m here today to talk about the WHY behind the teen suicide epidemic. Back in 2005, a professor at Florida State University, Dr. Thomas Joiner, published his theory on suicide – specifically his “Interpersonal Theory of Suicidal Behavior.” His theory points to two factors that contribute to suicide:

“I am alone,” and “I am a burden.”

And what this means is…

The “I am alone” – which is, as Joiner says, a “thwarted belongingness” – represents a belief on the part of the individual that she or she does not have any meaningful relationships.

“I am a burden” – which is a “perceived burdensomeness” represents a belief on the part of the individual that he or she does not make any notable contributions to the world. They think that they serve as a liability.

So, when you have the “I am alone” and the “I am a burden,” – that kind of creates the DESIRE FOR SUICIDE – which becomes the capability for suicide over a period of time, and Joiner here again – the “capability for suicide is acquired largely through repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences. This results in habituation and, in turn, a higher tolerance for pain and a sense of fearlessness in the face of death.” Habituation is a fancy term for getting used to something. I became a fan of Dr. Joiner as I got into researching the topic of suicide – but more specifically Teen Suicide. When you get to the “I am alone” part, you are like, WHY? Why do teens feel alone today? Why do teens feel like they are a burden – and that they serve as a liability? And then – why do they just feel so hopeless? In all my work in the trenches with teens and talking to teens, I have come to believe that even the most troubled teens don’t want to die. I think it’s that they can’t find a solution to their problems – that the solution is so far out there that they can’t solve it and move forward. Remember: Today’s teens live in the here and the now. Teens don’t know what they don’t know – and there is no way for them to know what the future can hold. And today’s teenagers – the Generation Z kids born from the mid-1990s to the early 2000s – are the first teenagers to not know what’s it like to grow up without a smartphone. Let’s look at this: As much as we say suicide is because of this or suicide is because of that – it’s bullying, it’s cyber-bullying, it’s this, it’s that – suicide is never the result of one thing – but one thing can certainly be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The reality is that 90 percent of teen suicides go back to mental illness – and if you think about today’s teens – two of the biggest challenges that we have are coping skills and problem-solving skills. In my work, I find that that teenagers have a really tough time communicating – sharing their feelings – trusting in the circle of adults in their life – and so – when you ask me, “Hey Jeff – what is the greatest thing that you can give teenagers today,” I don’t even hesitate. I say, “self-esteem.” But where does self-esteem come from? Self-esteem comes from being challenged and overcoming those challenges. I think self-esteem comes from social interaction. It comes from involvement with your friends and family – relationships. Self-esteem comes from being outside – coping through life – problem-solving through your challenges. Self-esteem is something we build every day as a result of being more active. I think three things are really important to a teen’s mental health:

1) SLEEP 2) NUTRITION – Today’s teenagers are consuming over 200 grams more sugar a day than they should be consuming in a 24-hour period – and sugar is directly related to depression. 3) MORE ACTIVITY/MORE SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT

These three things play a significant role in one’s mental health. Some say that Generation Z – the young people born after 1995 – are more likely to experience mental health issues than their Millennial predecessors. Today’s adolescents are at even greater risk of mental health problems – and so you keep asking the questions “Why are today’s teens worse off than the Millennials?” And then, “Why are today’s adolescents in worse shape than Generation Z?” Why… Let’s look at 2012. That is the time when smartphones surged into the lives of our teens – and with that, in 2012 – over 50 percent of our teens had smartphones, so they started to get more invested in social media, YouTube, the Internet, group texting – In 2015 – they say over 73 percent of our teens had access to a smartphone. Today – 2018 – over 90 percent of our kids have access to a smartphone. From 2012-2018 – in those six years, the smartphone became something that was very much more common in the lives of our teens. Not just more common, but more widely-used for longer periods of time. From 2010-2015, surveys said that 35 percent of teens felt alone and a burden. Feeling alone and a burden, going back to Thomas Joiner’s theory from 2005 – well, those are symptoms of suicide – and they are symptoms of suicide today. They even said that suicide surged 23 percent – and teen suicide surged 31 percent – and that’s where we are at. These are alarming numbers causing great concern – and we are asking why. Let’s not just jump to the conclusion that, “Whoa – Jeff is blaming this on smartphones.” Hold on. I just want to continue asking why. Why is this? Moving forward – 2012-2018 – that’s six years. More teens were depressed. Greater anxiety. Trouble communicating. Withdrawal. Social isolation – hopelessness – and seeing suicide as the solution to their problems. Again – why? All signs point to the sudden ascendance of the smartphone. As more and more teens gained access to a smartphone, more and more teens were feeling depressed – and suicide kept increasing in great numbers. It’s important to note here that these same surveys say that from 2010-2015 – the time doing homework barely budged. Why is this important? It’s important because it rules out academic pressure as the cause of teen suicide. So – here’s my theory: Smartphone? If you are on your smartphone four to five hours a day or more, you are 70 percent more likely to have mental health issues. Mental health professionals say that one to two hours a day is the safe zone. Going by these numbers – I think it’s pretty safe to say that time spent online affects a teen’s overall mental health. Right. OK. Now – could it be that instead of time online causing depression – maybe depression causes more time online, one might ask. And so – these studies show that this is unlikely. My theory: Depression might cause people to spend more time online – but why did depression increase so much after 2012? More teens became depressed for an unknown reason, and then started buying smartphones, which doesn’t seem too logical.

WHAT’S MISSING

You might say that online time doesn’t affect mental health directly – but it still adversely affects mental health in indirect ways – especially if time online interrupts time for other activities. That’s that social engagement – that’s the other activities with friends and family – less smartphones, social media – more time problem-solving, coping, and one-on-one communication.   Again – going back to self-esteem – it’s safe to say that a teen spending time online interrupts time for activities where they could be building their self-esteem – (what I just mentioned: coping skills, problem-solving, communication) – life skills that are essential to their growth as a young adult. I hope you are following me here. Teens spend much less time today interacting with friends and family. Without interaction, our moods start to suffer, and depression follows. Going back to Dr. Joiner – “I am alone – I am a burden.” Those two things lead to sadness. They lead to depression – and the “I am alone – I am a burden” – isolation is also a big factor in suicide ideation – better known as suicidal thoughts. Let’s look at the amount of time being alone – the amount of time where you feel you are a burden. That brings the desire for suicide – Dr. Joiner’s theory is making sense – more so today – and the capability for suicide grows out of repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences Now – this is starting to make a lot more sense when we look at time online – teens are more likely to be depressed, while making friends and engaging socially and in-person builds their self-esteem. In 2012, this is what started to happen: Online versus in-person social engagement. Online harms mental health. In-person social engagement benefits mental health. Remember: 90 percent of suicides. At the core, at the foundation are mental health issues. I already mentioned that proper sleep and nutrition are a huge benefit to the mental well-being of our young people. They also need to get more involved. This is good for their self-esteem. Is this research definitive enough? Maybe not. Is it too soon to recommend less screen time? The solution seems to be clear: If less screen time can help lessen your child’s chances of falling into depression, then the danger of doing nothing can be high. Think about the possible consequences. If we do nothing, then we’re taking a huge risk. A couple more things before I wrap this up: Going back to Dr. Joiner’s theory: “I am alone” is like, “I don’t have meaningful relationships. “I am a burden.” This is about expectations. Today’s teens have greater stress. They have the expectations that might not be realistic. They have the fear of not knowing who they are or what they want to do. That’s the “I am a burden.” And the desire for suicide – that’s the pain lasting and building up. Also – the Dopamine effect from the social media, the Internet and YouTube – it’s like – “I want more, I want more, I want more…” When you are spending four, five hours a day on your smartphone, the Dopamine effect is more and more and more – versus one-to-two-hours – you have less of the “I want more, I want more.” So what does all of this lead to? Our teens are on 24/7 – 365. This is leading to depression, isolation – a feeling that they are not worthy. They want to be validated with “likes” on social media – and social isolation is arguably the strongest and most reliable predictor of suicidal thoughts. Social isolation leads to loneliness, social withdrawal, living alone with little social support – living in non-intact families. All of this really isn’t helping. I think it comes down to vigilant parenting, less time online, more social and emotional learning – mindfulness practice – meditation – reducing the stigma of mental health, and letting people know that it is OK to ask for help. To wrap this up: Self-esteem: Again, social interaction, sleep, health, exercise, nutrition, activity. Self-esteem: Involvement, communication, coping skills, problem-solving skills. Self-esteem: You’re not afraid to ask for help. Social Isolation: “I am alone. I am a burden.” When our young people are interacting, they are learning. They’ve got friends. They are figuring themselves out – their identities – they are growing – they have trust – companionship – problem-solving and coping skills – laughter and better communication. A couple of things, lastly – Smartphone. Addiction. Isolation. Sadness. Loneliness. Lack of growth, The Dopamine effect. Diminished life skills. It makes sense that Joiner’s “I am alone” / “I am a burden” is a problem. You see where social media is really adding to that. And then the desire for suicide that emerges from suicidal thoughts stemming from repeated exposure to painful or fear-inducing experiences that these kids go through. Again – I don’t think students want to die. I think they live in the here and the now – and so they feel like they can never reach solutions to their problems and move on with their lives. And with the here and the now – everything is just so readily available to them. I mean, you text somebody and you get an immediate response. You pick up your smartphone and someone is automatically there. You go to the bank – and an ATM spits out cash. I think the biggest problems with our youth today are the lack of coping skills and problem-solving skills. If we could focus more on social and emotional learning in our schools, I think we would do an awesome job of getting our kids to spend less time on their smartphones and more time interacting – I think that would make a huge life-changing difference. For more information about Jeff Yalden, go HERE. Find out about Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION To book Jeff now, call (800) 948-9289

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Author, Copycat Suicide, Crisis Intervention Expert, Cyberbulling, Depression, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide, Suicide Prevention Expert, Teen Suicide, Thomas Joiner, Youth Motivational Speaker

South Carolina High School Hosts Teen Mental Health Speaker Jeff Yalden

January 31, 2018 by Roger Yale

Photo: Jamin Ortiz/JDO Designs

In early November, a young man in Myrtle Beach, SC, made the final decision to end his life, no doubt leaving a void of unspeakable loss in the hearts of his family, friends and the Carolina Forest High School community, where he was a ninth grader. Through the grapevine, word about this heartbreaking incident made its way to youth motivational speaker, author and mental health advocate Jeff Yalden, who was then in Minnesota for a college presentation. Yalden, who lives in Murrells Inlet, speaks more than 200 times a year at high schools, colleges and other venues across the country. Over 25 years, he has presented to more than 4000 live audiences across the globe. But when tragedy strikes so close to home, the ripples through the community are palpable. Yalden reached out to Carolina Forest High School, offering to help in any way he could with the counselors and crisis intervention experts. Instead, Carolina Forest High School invited him to do one of his signature presentations. On Wednesday, November 21, Yalden delivered a hard-hitting and uplifting youth motivational talk in the school auditorium – a variation of his renowned “about life” presentations – covering such subjects as attitude, choices, self-respect and more.

Photo: Jamin Ortiz/JDO Designs

“This was not an assembly reflecting on the loss of the student who took his life. This assembly was about who we are, where we are and where we are going,” Yalden said. Yalden said he proudly lives with mental illness every day. Diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II disorder, and PTSD [he served as a U.S. Marine during the Gulf War], he is transparent and authentic in his personal journey with self-care, therapy, and medication. He was featured as a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s long-running reality show, MADE. Yalden is also a suicide prevention expert and crisis intervention specialist. A priority in his messages is to assure young people that it’s OK to ask for help. His presentation Tuesday was meant to inspire and encourage the students – most of whom were ninth graders – as they prepared to leave for Thanksgiving break. “They lost a ninth grader. They didn’t want me to focus on that, which I understand,” he said. “Every school community is different and handles it in their own way.” Yalden covered three points in his presentation that he feels are very important: Self-value, attitude and choices – a trifecta that plays into his “take time to think” mantra. “In the end, I think the kids appreciated the truth and the humor in a message that they were not really expecting,” he said. Yalden said that mental illness is quickly becoming the biggest public health crisis in this country. “Mental illness is becoming just so prevalent in schools, and teen suicide is a national epidemic. I am honored to have been able to speak in our community. I feel good that schools are opening their hearts and saying that we need to address this with our kids.” Carolina Forest High School counselor Tammy Goodman said that although she wasn’t sure a lot of the students knew what to expect, she felt a different energy from the students following Yalden’s presentation. “They were very excited about the books that he had to offer, and I do think the students received it positively.”

Photo: Jamin Ortiz/JDO Designs

Yalden handed out copies of his Amazon bestseller, BOOM! One Word to Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day – as well as motivational t-shirts. Students rushed to the front of the stage to snap them up. Goodman noted that the auditorium was full of students from all walks of life and from different grade levels. She explained the motivation behind Yalden’s talk. “I think the main thing was to kind of let students know that regardless of what they are dealing with – whether it’s at home, academics here at school, or socially – we can pick up where we are and go from here,” she said. “The message for them really is that there is always hope – that no matter what they are dealing with, there is always somebody that they can go to for help.” For more about Jeff Yalden, visit www.jeffyalden.com. Check out Yalden’s new nonprofit at www.jeffyaldenfoundation.com.

Filed Under: Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Loss, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Grieving, Jeff Yalden, Loss, Loss of a Child, Teen Mental Health Awareness, Teen Suicide

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