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Youth Mental Health Motivational Speaker & Mental Health Speaker Jeff Yalden

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Rochester & Rochester Hills School Communities

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Thank you for having me speak to day.

Here are some references for you all:

The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. – Please Consider a Donation

  • The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc., a 501c3 Non-Profit Foundation for Teen Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. (Click Here)

The Daily Motivation from Jeff Yalden (Subscription Based but FREE to join the mailing list)

Today’s Presentation:

Jeff Yalden (Email)

Website: (Click Here)

FREE Books:

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19 28 Day Boot Camp for Teens Workbook

Motivational Posters:  Posters Motivational+PDF’s+2019

The Jeff Yalden Foundation: The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. Donate

FREE Link School Community Teen Suicide Prevention Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/access32545464/9a6d8752c7c

FREE Meditation Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/optin1586289965594

Teen & Family Life Coach: https://jeffyalden.com/teen-life-coach/

 Teen Suicide Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K2M6QCB

Best of Jeff Yalden Videos: 

Visit Jeff Yalden University for More Courses for Teens and Families (Click Here)

Rochester and Rochester Hills, MI – Teen Suicide Prevention and Teen Mental Health Talk by Jeff Yalden

COVID-19 and Self-Care

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The COVID-19 fatalities extend beyond the virus itself.

When I woke up yesterday, I found out that an ER doctor in New York City ended her life by suicide. Dr. Lorna Breen was 49 and was the medical director of the emergency department at New York Presbyterian-Allen Hospital. This brave woman contracted COVID-19 on the job, and when the hospital ultimately sent her home, her family brought her home to Charlottesville, Virginia.

It was there that she made her forever decision.

Her grieving father told the New York Times that she tried to do her job, and it killed her.

Think about that. It’s unbelievably sad.

Dr. Lorna Breen / Photo: Columbia University Medical Center

To all of the front-line workers – doctors, nurses, first-responders, food service workers, truckers – everybody: It’s tough being considered a hero today because being a hero comes with a great deal of responsibility. As anxiety increases with the coronavirus pandemic, you want to continue serving people and saving lives…

But one of the things that we most often forget in our desire and our compassion and empathy to want to help and serve people – is that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Listen: You matter.

The situation that we are all in is traumatic. It is filled with a lot of anxiety and stress and the uncertainty of the world – but especially if you are one of these front-line workers that has to serve in the face of COVID-19.

 You are still fortunate to have a job, but having this job can be extremely stressful

Remember: You can’t pour from an empty pitcher. It’s crucial that you have a daily routine in place, a structured lifestyle. The first order of business must be self-care. This could be anything from healthy eating, exercise, meditation, yoga or time in prayer. Whatever self-care looks like for you, now is the time to make sure you are setting time aside for this.

If you are not taking care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The best you isn’t showing up.

I have a niece who is a front-line worker in New York City. She sees the heartbreak of COVID-19 on a daily basis. I have friends here in the Myrtle Beach area who are nurses – and I applaud you all. I am so thankful to have people like you in my life, but one of the things that really sends up red flags is when you negate your thoughts and feelings with a statement like, “I’ll take care of me later. I’ve got to show up and do this now.”

NO! You have got to take care of yourself more now while you are taking care of others.

My intention is to be careful here, and I do not want to come across as insensitive.

You can be compassionate. You can be empathetic. But you cannot carry the darkness. Love people and serve others, absolutely – but you have got to take care of yourself first. This is so important.

God bless each and every one of you. I love you, and I hope you are well and staying safe.

About Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is renowned for his work as a youth motivational speaker and teen mental health and suicide prevention expert. For three decades, Jeff has given his life to students, teachers, counselors, parents, and the mental health community.

For more about Jeff Yalden, click HERE.

Check out Jeff’s book: Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Why Teens Need a Mental Health Life Coach

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Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden speaks to teens one on one everywhere he goes.

Your teen needs a Teen Life Coach and a Mental Health Life Coach for support and encouragement. Consider Jeff Yalden. He’s been that trusted teen life coach for many years.
Growing up teen today is harder than it has ever been.
Parenting is harder than it’s ever been too, and that is why teens need a Mental Health Life Coach. Parents can use a coach that understands teens as well.

As a Youth Motivational Speaker & Coach, Jeff Hears Their Cries

Pressures of being a teen today are overwhelming. The mental well-being of our teens is seriously being compromised.
Jeff sees it everyday in his talks with teens and school communities. High School Assemblies with youth motivational speaker Jeff Yalden are 15 hours and in that time he meets one on one with many teens requesting to speak to him personally.
After his high school assemblies students line up to talk about life, their family struggles, abuse, brokenness, loss, fear, anxiety, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed and more.
A personal conversation with Jeff and teens feel they can trust in him to share their heart.

Why Teens want to speak to Jeff Yalden

For so many reasons, teens are afraid to talk, including but not limited to:
  • They’re afraid you’re going to try and fix it
  • They’re afraid you’re going to judge them
  • You’re going to tell them they’re overreacting
  • You don’t understand the pressure of being a teen
  • You’re not going to take them seriously
  • They’re afraid of being a burden
  • They can’t figure out how they’re feeling themselves
  • They feel you won’t value their feelings, thoughts, and emotions
So what do teens do? They isolate themselves trying to figure it all out and it becomes too overwhelming.

Teens don’t trust adults

Sounds crazy, but it’s true and that is why they’re not reaching out to their trusted adults. Ask many teens who their trusted adult is and they’ll tell you they don’t have one. Scared, isolated, and teens feel alone and a disappointment. They’re not speaking because they are afraid to burden their closest adults with their problems. They know how stressful life is for you that they don’t want to overwhelm you with their problems.
“I wanted to say “Thank You” for letting me thing that I do belong here and I am special. I am loved and that I don’t need to end it all to get what I want.I will never forget everything you said to everyone.” – Student, OH

Two Questions Teens Need Answered

VbSzbvllRIy7GyUtwkeYhgIf you’re going to connect and be able to get the trust and respect from your teens you have to answer these two questions:
  • Can I trust you?
  • Do you care about me?
You can’t just say, “I’m the parent. Of course they know they can trust me.” Not so fast. How do you show it? How do they know?
Teens don’t walk in the house from school and say, “Mom and dad, I’ve had a bad day. Can we talk?“
They go to their room just wishing you would come through the door and listen to their heart without saying a word. Just listen.
In isolation their minds are left thinking the worst.
You spell LOVE: T-I-M-E. TIME and being non-judgmental when you’re listening.

Teen Pressures are Overwhelming

With all the pressures: social media, school, friends, their future, and the expectations, teens are overwhelmed. Their mental health is being compromised and teens don’t know how to cope.
Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Mental Health Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden reaches students.

Major concerns such as self-harm, depression, and maybe even suicidal ideation if teens don’t ask for help or parents don’t advocate for their child.
A teen mental health life coach helps your teen navigate the process of life by listening and offering practical tips and advice. Having this teen life coach will lead to self-value, self-respect, and a confidant they can talk to without judgement.
It’s extremely important to have a mental health life coach to help deal with everyday challenges for teens.
Someone that understands them and can help them navigate the process of life in a calm, non-reactionary, balanced journey; giving them practical tips and advice.

Teen Suicide: Is your Teen Next?

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After a suicide, Jeff meets with students and friends and gives them permission to talk and feel while leading them in on a healthy and positive path to closure and acceptance.

Jeff Yalden is an expert on teen mental health and teen suicide.
Teen Suicide has been and continues to be an epidemic in school communities everywhere.
You may have heard about the show “13 Reasons Why” that tells the story of how a teen girl takes her own life after experiencing many traumatic experiences.
Many mixed views about the show.  Some feel like the show provides a valuable opportunity for discussion about bullying and teen suicide.
On the other side of the spectrum are those that feel the show glorifies suicide and shows that it is an easy option.
Regardless of what you think, Jeff says the show is popular because it is a conversation teens are having.  Suicide is a thought and that is why teens are paying attention.  For this reason, Jeff says as a parent you should be watching the show because your teen is probably watching it themselves.
The show triggers with teens and their emotions.  Pay attention and do something.

Two Reasons Teens Want to End Their Lives

There are two specific reasons teens start thinking about wanting to end their lives.
  1. They feel alone
  2. They feel they’re a disappointment
What comes next if they’re not asking for help is self-harm. Heed the warning signs and take all signs seriously.

Teens are in a Vulnerable and Emotional State

Teen Mental Health Life Coach Jeff YaldenThe years of being a teen are very stressful and although as parents you’ve been through it, it just isn’t the same.
This is one of the reasons why teens need a mental health life coach they can talk to weekly or bi-monthly.
A teen life coach that can teach them skills that will help them deal with everyday life stressors. A teen life coach that gives them tools o they can add to their toolbox.
As a teen life coach, Jeff spends a lot of time teaching coping skills and problem solving skills.

Teens in Therapy

Jeff feels strongly that professional counseling is a great place for teens.
Teens don’t trust in adults, especially counselors and don’t feel they need therapy. A teen life coach having been through the journey of mental health counseling can really help your teen with understanding what counseling is.
You can’t just say to a teen, “You need therapy.“
Therapy is a process and Jeff works with his clients to help them understand the benefits of therapy and perhaps medication, if that is needed.
Teens trust in Jeff because he stays on their side and explains how it all works. Jeff validates their feelings and thoughts but shows the benefits of giving professional counseling a try and sticking to it.
In the process of working with a teen life coach make sure that this teen life coach knows enough about mental health in teens.  Also, this teen life coach understands their boundaries between a teen life coach and professional therapist.
The two can easily work together. Jeff specializes in working with the client and another therapist. Jeff says, “We both have our strengths and I don’t interfere with the therapist at all.” Working together it’s a win-win situation.

13 Reasons why a Teen Mental Health Life Coach is Right for Your Teen

1. Social Media and Teens:

The overwhelming amount of time being on Social Media. More time on social media is more time isolating yourself from the world. Isolation is toxic.
18If your teen is spending 4-5 or more hours on social media platforms they’re 70% more likely to have major depression in their life.
Jeff Yalden can assist you as a parent with explaining what social media and the dopamine effect are doing to teens.

2.Mandated Testing in Schools:

The anxiety and pressure teens are facing with tests is overwhelming and causing a lot of stress.  Teens think today that if they’re not perfect what is the point.
The expectations teens feel they’re not reaching are coming from school, parents, themselves, and keeping up with their friends.
Your teen needs help managing the anxiety that comes with this overwhelming pressure. A teen life coach teaches helpful tools to manage this anxiety in order to be more successful in school and in life.

3. Bullying and Cyberbullying

Youth Motivational Speaker Jeff YaldenTeen suicide is rarely the cause of one thing such as bullying. Bullying can be the straw that breaks the camels back, but today, Jeff will tell you that bullying or cyberbullying can certainly be the cause of a teen suicide completion or attempt.
Absolutely!
Kids are mean and this occurs in school, on social media, and a lot of the time at home.
It’s very rare for a teen to never experience being bullied by the time they have graduated from high school.
Having a teen life coach can teach skills to help your teen handle the bullying and even prevent bullying from happening to them.  Teens also need these skills to help them realize when they are being the bully and how not to get in that situation.
While most schools have anti-bullying programs in place the students don’t take them seriously and sometimes these programs give new opportunities for bullying to occur.

4. Divorce and Family Issues

Family issues and blended families is more normal amongst teens and their friends. Too many of our teens have these feelings they are the cause of the tension in the family or the reason for the divorce.
Family issues are very emotional for the teen. Maybe more so than for the parents.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen find emotional resilience and manage the big picture, the change, and how to take this one day at a time without getting caught up in the brokenness.
If your child doesn’t talk to someone and express their thoughts and feelings the pain will manifest into behavior that leads to further problems, anxiety, depression, and maybe suicidal ideation.

5.  Peer Pressure

Imagine the pressure you feel as an adult trying to keep up with family, friends, and co-workers.
Teens need to learn how to follow their own personal course and to enjoy getting to know who they are and not trying to live in other people shoes.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen make decisions for themselves where they take pride in who they are and the course of their own life.

6. Sexual abuse

Being abused sexually is more common than you’d imagine.  According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), teens account for 51% of all reported sexual abuse and female victims of teen sexual abuse while in grades 9-12 are more likely than others to experience eating disorders, suicidal ideation, pregnancy, and risky sexual behaviors.
A teen life coach will give your teen the consistent coaching that can help your teen know the difference between being where they should be and where they should not be, but more importantly having the confidence to say, “NO.”
Your teen needs to understand how and where sexual abuse occurs and if it’s happened a teen life coach can help them process and be comfortable talking to their parents and professional help as it’s the right thing to do.

7.  Alcohol and Drugs: Self-Medicating

Too many of our teens are vaping, drinking, and experiencing with pills. It’s become a Teen Life Coach says every teen needs a trust adult in their life.norm for too many teens today and they’re not taking it seriously.
George Mason University says this culture of alcohol drinking can lead to higher rates of teen sex, teen pregnancy, date rape, violence, and illegal activity.
Teens believe it is not a big deal to drink alcohol, because everyone does it, even their parents.
Alcohol becomes a go-to for stress and anxiety.  Self-medicating.
A teen life coach can help with coping skills and problem solving skills on how to deal with anxiety, stress, and everyday problems.

8. The Maturity of a Teen’s Brain

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain where emotional control, impulse restraint and rational decision-making take place.  According to Dr. David Walsh, this part of the brain does not fully mature until around the age of 25 and this is why many teenagers do not practice “good judgment” in difficult situations.

9.  Teens Don’t Like Talking to Adults

Again, Jeff says you have to earn their respect and trust and it takes time.
Teen Life Coach, Jeff Yalden saves a teen and visits her a year later.

One of the most memorable moments of Jeff’s career as a teen life coach was this young lady and the two years of saving her life.

Teens withdraw from parents and spend more time alone or with their friends. Isolation is toxic and our teens are spending too much time alone or with their friends asking the questions they should be asking an adult.
Having a teen life coach in your teens life can help them make good decisions and guide them through the tough times they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or counselors about.

10. Drama . . . Drama . . . Drama

Drama causes a lot of ups and downs and happens daily in a teens life.
One day your teen is best friends with someone and the next day she is not.
Hateful are said to each other and rumors can be spread.  This can lead to bullying and depression.
Your teen needs to have a mentor to show them the bigger picture.  When it comes to friends a teen life coach can help your teen use their inner judgement in making good decisions when it comes to the friends that matter and to the friends that are acquaintances.

11. The Future Decisions

Life Coach for TeensThe future is a huge stress factor for high school students in junior and senior year of high school.
If your teen is in a competitive high school environment it’s even worse.  If your teen doesn’t get into a good school they’ll feel a disappointment to themselves and their parents.
Teens feel the pressure to know what they want to do as a career as early a 9th grade.
They get confused from all of the pressure from parents, friends, teachers, and media.
A teen life coach can help teen your teen make these decisions by asking questions that make the most sense to them and what they want in their life.

12. The feelings of being Alone and a Disappointment

Most teens feel alone and a disappointment.  Teens are becoming more independent and trying to figure out what their purpose in life is, who their friends are, and what they are good at.
As they are learning more about themselves they may have moments of feeling left out or like they are different than everyone else.
Teen Life Coaches can help a teens understand that we are all connected and here for different reasons.  Teens are wondering what their purpose is and a teen life coach can help guide them in the right direction while supporting and encouraging them in their journey.

13.  They’re Influences such as Television and the Internet

Teens are influenced everyday and everything is influential to a teen who is easily impressionable.
Suicide contagion is real.  Television shows like “13 Reasons Why” was very impressionable on millions of teens.
Teens need a life coach to know that suicide is a permanent action to a situation that is temporary.
By you giving your teen a life coach, someone to talk to and trust in on a consistent basis you are giving your teen a trusted mentor to teach important life-saving tools that will help your teen gain a healthy mind in order to live a happy and successful life with meaning and purpose.
Consider a teen life coach for your teen today, by visiting Jeff Yalden: Teen Life Coach and Teen Mental Health Expert.

CORONAVIRUS: Managing Stress and Anxiety

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In the above VIDEO, renowned mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden lays out some important pointers to keep you present and centered in the midst of the global COVID-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic.

How is your heart?

Are you feeling OK in this time of uncertainty?

How are you doing with your emotions and your triggers?

Jeff says we can’t control COVID-19 or the future. We can’t can’t control people, places or things either, but we can control what we take in. We can control what we ingest.

And he’s not just talking about what we eat or drink.

We can control how much of the news we choose to ingest, for example – or limit the time we spend on things that don’t serve us.

Did you know that feeling overwhelmed is a common symptom of anxiety? The entire world is feeling anxious over the novel coronavirus.

You can choose to limit the noise in your life. Let’s turn down the noise and focus on our self-care.

THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL AND MORE

How about keeping a gratitude journal? This daily practice will help to keep you centered. And even in the most trying times, there is always something to be grateful for.

Even with this COVID-19 situation, we can still be thankful.

As you progress in your gratitude journal, you will start to appreciate things you never really thought about. You might notice a beautiful little tree in your backyard that you never even looked at before – or the way your dog’s eyebrows and ears move when you talk to him.

There are so many things to do every day that can enrich you.

You could write a real letter to a friend. Yes – a snail-mail letter. You can start on that book you always wanted to write.

How about listening to music or catching up on your podcast queue? You can get into a fitness routine. (Yes – you can still go outside. Into the sunshine. By now, we all know about social distancing.)

You can go for a walk or a bike ride, spend time video chatting with family and friends or take a drive.

CREATIVITY, YOGA, MUSIC

De-clutter. Try painting, coloring or drawing. Shoot a video. Set up that YouTube channel you have been thinking about.

Read uplifting books. Get your blog going. Have you ever thought about starting a podcast? It’s quick and easy to get set up.

You can come out the other side of this pandemic as a guitar player.

Jeff practices yoga daily, and he highly recommends that everybody try it. Stretch. Breathe.

The point is this: Downtime because of COVID-19 can become an exercise in personal development.

Watch the above VIDEO for more from Jeff.

THE FAMILY: SHARE YOUR FEELINGS

In the VIDEO, Jeff talks about Dr. Murray Bowen and his Family Systems Theory, which details the family dynamic and mental health. It’s all about how different family members cope with what they are going through in life.

According to Jeff, if we’re not communicating and sharing our thoughts and feelings within the family, we start going outside of it, and that’s where separation happens.

Bullying often comes from our children having to suppress what life throws at them. This can cause them to take their anger and frustration out on others.

Jeff discusses an important point made by his friend, Dr. Alex Crosby at the CDC: The number one statistic for suicide is white males between the ages of 35-50.

According to Jeff, many of these young men were taught not to share their feelings and to “suck it up,” “be tough” or “grind through it.”

“This isn’t healthy,” says Jeff. “When our responsibilities become bigger or our obligations are greater, you have no coping or problem-solving skills.”

It’s critical that we tell our kids that it’s OK to talk about their feelings. The old-school approach is dangerous and simply doesn’t work.

Talk to your children about COVID-19 and pay attention to their concerns.

WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS

COVID-19 is scary. Do what the experts tell you to do. We will get through this.

Make sure to share your feelings with your circle. Communicate. Laugh. Love.

“Find things that you can do that take you away from the stress and bring you closer to what’s beneficial for your overall well-being,” said Jeff.

Resources

ORDER Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

CLICK HERE for Jeff’s online suicide prevention course.

To book Jeff for your school or event, call 800-948-9289

High School Mental Health Speaker Brings Motivation, Dodgeball, Humor, and Yoga to Upper Scioto Valley

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Last year, high school mental health speaker Jeff Yalden visited Upper Scioto Valley High School in McGuffey, Ohio and spent a full day speaking to the students, teachers, and parents.

During his visit, Jeff connected with the junior class and developed a relationship with them via Facebook. Watch the video of Jeff’s in 2019. (Click Here).

In February, Jeff was invited back for the school’s Mental Health Day. Who better for your students mental health day than Jeff Yalden? He’s been doing this in school communities all over the country for three decades.

Jeff talks teen mental health, self-harm, self-medicating, depression, and teen suicide. How awesome is it that the students invited Jeff to come back to their school to talk teen mental health? It just goes to show that we can talk mental health and have fun too.

Upper Scioto Valley School District invested in Jeff for a second year in a row. On this visit, Jeff talked to students, teachers, and parents and community again, but this time he brought a slightly different message.

Not only is Jeff a teen mental health motivational speaker, but he also consults with school districts on school culture and school climate.

New Program: Intentional Living

Jeff’s new program, Schools of Intentional Living and Learning, is focused on improving and enhancing school campuses by providing the fundamental modality of self-care and mindful practice. This is accomplished by teaching intentional living and self-advocacy to recharge the mind, body, and the soul.

The benefits of being a School of Intentional Living and Learning includes:

Benefits:
  • Improve relationships between students and staff.
  • Improve self acceptance and self-esteem.
  • Building a family friendly and supportive campus.
  • Valuing ourselves and each other.
  • To practice self-care improving one’s emotions.
  • Teaching equanimity.
  • Bring awareness to our mental health and how to be in control.
  • To teach compassion, kindness, and empathy.
  • To give back and see the benefits of selfless service.
  • Less referrals for Discipline.
  • More community engagement, especially on campus.
  • Becoming a National Recognized School of Influence.
  • Teaches time management.
  • Teaches non-judgement.
If you’re interested in learning more about Jeff’s new program for enhancing your school culture, please visit Youth Motivational Speaker, Jeff Yalden’s website.
 

School Culture & Mental Health

Everyday talk is about changing the way we’re engaging in our schools between staff and students. Jeff wants to change the school environment so that schools and campuses are safe, but also friendly and fully functional for overall academic successes. But he also focus on addressing the growing concerns of mental health and our teens.

Since 1992, Jeff has been one of the most sought after high school motivational youth speakers in the world. 

At this point in his high school motivational speaking career, Jeff wants to inspire and encourage all individuals in the school community to be fully present and engaged, but without the inherent stress and anxiety that are plaguing today’s society.

Jeff Yalden is a man that lives with mental illness, is a practicing yogi, and working on his 200 hour yoga teacher training certification. He wants to help, inspire, educate, and bring to schools a modality that changes the culture of our schools and in return addresses teacher retention and the mental health of our students.

Mental Health Day at Upper Scioto Valley School District

The day started at 7:00 am where Jeff brought his yoga practice to Upper Scioto Valley High School gym with two elementary teachers and the high school counselor. Jeff introduced his yoga practice and explained how yoga has been beneficial to him living with mental illness. 

As Jeff took these three staff members on a simple yoga morning exercise routine he talked about how schools should have a yoga program for students and staff.  For one it is great for relationships, protecting the posture of our youth, and also to increase self-esteem, and to be find a practice that helps with mental well-being and so much more.

After the yoga workout, teachers and staff members were waiting for Jeff before the students arrive.

Teacher and Staff Development

Off to the board room where Jeff talked and inspired the staff and teachers from K-12.

What teacher and staff development is actually fun? Ask Jeff, and he always has fun talking to teachers and staff members. Jeff likes to say thank you to teachers for his regret in not thanking the teachers and coaches that made him the man he is today.

For an hour, they talked about teen mental health, teen stress, anxiety, and how to help our students be their own best advocates for their mental well-being.

Aside from the teens, Jeff talked to the staff about their own mental well-being as well.

It’s frustrating that we are losing so many great teachers to other professions because being a teacher was once seen as an incredible job.

Today, being a teacher comes with a lot of stress. Grappling with the mental health of students isn’t something today’s teachers think they’re qualified to handle. It’s a very scary situation when you look at trying to retain teachers and where education is going to be in 10-15 years.

After speaking to the teachers and staff, the middle school and high school students came down to the field house where Jeff spoke to them on teen mental health and advocating for yourself for about an hour and a half.

Teen Mental Health Speaker for High School and Middle School Students

Jeff addressed the students and staff about his journey living with mental illness. He talked to them about being willing to speak up about feelings. His talk also visited teen suicide, self-harm and self-medicating. He also covered drugs, vaping, and how to reduce anxiety.

After the talk, the day was spent with a great mix of fun, classroom talk about coping and problem solving. He also met with individual students and small groups.

Upper Scioto Valley School District did a great job in bringing this mental health awareness day to their school. It was presented in a way that made it fun without heavy conversations or triggers. It was a day that all schools should look to incorporate into their school curriculum.

Another great visit to McGuffey, OH and Upper Scioto Valley High School for Teen Mental Health and High School Mental Health Motivational Speaker, Jeff Yalden.

A Conversation with Isabella

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One of the greatest things about my work as a youth motivational speaker is that I get to plant seeds, give hope and inspire young people. One of the most challenging things is that sometimes I get to help, but I might not know the end result of the work I do. Thankfully, I know the end result when it comes to my friend Isabella, whom I had the chance to talk to a year after I met her. She is now 18 and has granted me permission to make the VIDEO included with this post. Last year when I met with her at her school, we made a decision together – and Isabella did the work. What broke my heart then was that we had to put her into an ambulance alone for a ride to a hospital more than an hour away. But when I recently returned to the school community, I couldn’t wait to hear about how she is doing now – and I want to share that progress with you. I’m a fan.
The following is an edited transcript of the above VIDEO: YALDEN:  How are you doing, Isabella? It was a hard day a year ago… ISABELLA:  It actually was, but what was really hard was accepting that I did need the help. I went on this hurtful journey of depression and PTSD – feeling like my auntie’s death was my fault. I believed it was my fault. I believed that my mom’s sadness was my fault – and that caused me to go into a deep, deep depression. I felt like I was locked. This little girl inside me wanted to get help, but we were afraid. Jeff Yalden came to our school and was talking about mental health and how to help people – and he was the key to that lock. I came and talked to him. I told him about what I was going through, and he told me what we were going to do. At first, I was afraid. It wasn’t an exciting journey, but I needed to do it. I needed to get the help I needed. Yes, it was sad that I was going to be leaving my school and going into this hospital – but I was happy to get the help I needed. I want to thank Jeff because, even though he said I did the work – nobody would have said I needed to go and get help. It was that encouragement… YALDEN: Thank you. I couldn’t be any more grateful, appreciative or inspired – but ultimately, I never want to send someone to the hospital without them having ownership. If you don’t have ownership, you are not going to take it seriously – you are not going to be honest. What made you that day want to listen to say, “I need help…”? What made you think you were ready? ISABELLA:  Seeing my friends cry, honestly. I have one friend who he watched me through this depression. He had seen me cry and have breakdowns. I didn’t want to see him cry, nor did I want to see my mom cry. I wore a mask around here. I faked happy and pretended everything was OK – but behind closed doors, I let out all of my feelings.  I felt like my life was worthless, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. And so, that’s what gave me the ownership to say, “Jeff – I need the help…can you please help me,” and you did. I came back a year later. I did miss some school, but I got back, and I went to summer school – and now I am graduating with 30 credits.  I never really thought that I would be here – here right now in this school. I didn’t think I would live to see this day because of my depression. All I can tell you guys is – TALK! I know it’s scary to talk to a trusted adult – but honestly, it helps a lot. YALDEN – When you open up, you actually feel like there is less anxiety and you feel better, right? And you did the work despite the fear of the unknown. You pushed through and here you are on the other side. Can you give kids – 17 and 18 – permission that it’s OK to talk? If you have pain in your heart, what you don’t speak out, you end up acting out. And we can’t help if we don’t know. ISABELLA: I give permission to 17, 18 and sometimes younger than that – because it’s not just teenagers. It’s middle-schoolers and surprisingly, elementary school kids – because they ARE bullied, and words hurt. And this is pretty off-topic, but don’t bully. You really don’t know what a person is going through. They could be fighting depression. They could be fighting something else. Just don’t add onto it. Why be mean when we are all put on this earth to be kind? I don’t like to be mean. I really don’t – and to any kids who are fighting depression and feeling like they are alone – listening to that voice in their heads – you are stronger. Jeff made me see that I am stronger. That voice in my head was just a voice. I have great friends. I have an amazing mom. And I have amazing teachers – so if anyone out there is struggling and feels like they are alone – talk to a trusted adult. Talk to a teacher. Even talk to your counselor, because you need to take that first step toward getting the help you need. Trust me – the dark side? You’ll get out of it, and you will come to the bright side. It’s so beautiful here. YALDEN: you have to be willing to lose your ego and open your heart. It is hard – but it’s part of growing and not being afraid to talk and ask for help. My friends, I was so inspired to come back to this community. I want to protect her identity – but when she came up to me after the assembly this morning, I just lit up There is a great outcome on the other side. You just have got to be willing to do the work.

Teen Mental Health Speaker: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic. His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic   Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Too Stressed and Overwhelmed

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It was an honor to speak at a Marine Corps Ball on a Saturday night, but was it too much for someone who lives with mental illness and needs balance and boundaries?

Marine Corps 1990

 

Listen – it meant a lot to me that I was invited, and I want to do whatever I can to honor my Marine Corps. It’s been 25 years since I was honorably discharged.

Here’s the deal: I arrived home from travels close to midnight on Friday night. I had to leave my house at noon Saturday to drive the four hours to Rock Hill, SC to speak for 20 minutes and then drive home. I got back home after midnight. On Sunday, I didn’t do anything but rest – watching football and lounging on the couch all day. After the week I had, it was easy to give myself permission to do this. I was in eastern Texas at the beginning of the week and closed it out with a speaking engagement in western Washington – followed by an all-day flight home Friday.

I spoke for free at the Marine Corps Ball and didn’t expect to get paid. Let’s call that giving back. But it gets complicated when I start thinking about travel time, being busy and overwhelmed, free talks versus self-care. I speak for a living, after all.

If I think about my clients, I realize that it wasn’t fair to them to push myself and speak at the ball. I wasn’t being fair to myself either. At the end of the day, my self-care should have been more important. I need balance and boundaries in order to prioritize my life and my speaking schedule.

Today I was in the office early, knowing I had a lot of work to catch up on before I fly out to Philadelphia this evening. Mostly, I was working with my media team and taking care of the website.

The website has been a thorn in my side for the past few months. It’s outdated and needs to have all the widgets updated – but before I could do that, I needed to update the PHP. Your guess is as good as mine about what that means. It’s language that computer code geeks know. It’s code that confuses me and I don’t have the patience for it.

The website crashed when I tried to update a plug-in.  That’s more than an hour I will never get back, and that’s another reason I am transferring the hosting of the website to a new platform.

Thankfully for Charles Kirkland, my go-to guy in website marketing, he was able to help us make some sense of what we are doing and what we need to do. He was on speed dial a few times today.

Maybe I wouldn’t have stressed about this so much if I got the rest I needed – but I made the decision to speak, pro bono, at the Marine Corps Ball.

Maybe I’m too busy as a professional speaker to do motivational talks for free. I think I should reevaluate my schedule and take a good look at how many times I speak.

My Hilton Honors has me staying at a Hilton hotel 147 nights this year and it’s only November 11. That’s a lot of travel.

Teen Mental Health Motivational Speaker

It was a very stressful day, but was it really all that stressful considering what many people deal with in their lives?

Living with Mental Illness

I’m a man that lives with major depression, bipolar II disorder and PTSD. Maybe I’m making too much of this. I won’t disagree, but I do that, and it bothers me. A lot.

Why can’t I let it go and just be present and thankful I’m making progress every day? I pride myself on showing up and doing the best I can – but then my expectations are too high.

I’m confused and bothered by this stress.

Change in Medication

Another thing I need to be aware of is my change in medication. I’ve recently switched from Lexapro to Wellbutrin. I don’t know enough to think this could be the cause, but I know enough to be aware that me being on medication is important. It’s good to be reminded of this fact.

Flying off to Philadelphia

So, I’m at the airport and my flight is slightly delayed. That doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it does. I’m getting ready to board and I thought I’d throw some thoughts out on the blog instead of hiding on my social media profiles.

I think I’m going to spend this 90-minute flight to Philadelphia grateful to recognize how I am feeling and letting this go.

I’m going to spend time thankful I got to speak at the Marine Corps Ball. Whether it was a paid talk or a pro bono talk doesn’t matter. I think I need to have more boundaries and balance in my life personally and professionally. I need to focus on the tasks at hand, my time management – and know my schedule months in advance.

Saying no Is a lesson we can all learn. If we don’t say no, it’s too easy to become overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed not only do we suffer, but those we are closest to suffer as well.

Tomorrow is a New Day

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe all this could have waited one more day and I could have just been present and enjoyed today – Veterans Day!

Happy Veterans Day to myself and all my fellow veterans. Now I’m bothered I didn’t get to enjoy the day I earned because I was too stressed and overwhelmed.

I’m learning each and every day. This is just another day of living with bipolar. Today, it beat me. Tomorrow, I’m taking back control over my mental illness.

Now this: As I’m getting ready to board, the gate agent just advised us of maintenance, and we are further delayed. There was a bird strike on the plane’s final approach. It could be a lot worse, I guess. Thankfully, I’m not that bird who played chicken with an inbound plane.

Just breathe friends, just breathe.

Who is Jeff Yalden?

Teen Mental Health Motivational and Educational Consultant for School Communities and Mental Health Professionals

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders.

He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.

His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults.

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:

For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below:

Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic  

Facebook Page

School Resources

Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Staff Development: Talking Teens & Mental Health

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When the phone rings or I get an email from a school community requesting me to come and speak to students about teen mental health awareness or suicide prevention, I get excited. For more than two decades, I’ve been speaking in the educational market – talking to teens about leadership, character, self-esteem, mental health and suicide prevention – and having fun living my purpose and passion. I have the greatest job in the world. I am a mental health speaker who specializes in school communities.

Teachers are a growing concern for mental illness

Yes, I also speak at mental health conferences for adults, but I primarily work in school communities in a concerted effort to address the state of our youth and their mental well-being. This is a huge issue. It’s not good and we should be concerned about it. But I have another concern that should be of high priority too.

The mental well-being of school staff is the elephant in the room and needs to be attended to. I am serious about this – and this includes teachers, administrators, counselors and even school psychologists.

How do I know?

I know because I’m boots-on-the-ground whenever I work in these school communities, and I get to know many of these people when I am hired to come in. Many staff members are struggling. Some know that they are. Others might be in denial. But the fact is that they need help.

I stay in touch with former teachers, counselors, administrators, school psychologists and therapists who no longer work in education because of the toll it took on them. By not setting boundaries, some of these wonderful people personalized the pain of others and took it home with them. This is called secondhand trauma. Its effects can be debilitating.

Perhaps you have a staff member who is not admitting that they are overwhelmed, stressed or anxious. Maybe this person is clearly having trouble handling the expectations placed on them. Instead of managing their self-care, setting boundaries or talking about what’s bothering them, they might be avoiding these things altogether. You would be surprised at how many people prefer to avoid these potentially harmful issues. Living in denial is no place to be.

We absolutely need to be taking care of our staff. We need to take care of each other.

Almost every time I come into a school community, I meet people who share their stories with me. Maybe it’s because I am a stranger and it feels safer that way. Sometimes they open up about someone in their family who is struggling. Many times, somebody will follow me to my car when I’m leaving. They might tell me their story or ask how I am able to live so effectively with my mental health issues.

I am diagnosed with PTSD, major depression and bipolar 2 disorder.

I am always glad when somebody who is struggling asks me about how they can take that first step toward getting the help they need.

That first step is simply this:

We have to get comfortable talking and asking for help. It’s OK to not be OK, but it isn’t OK if you don’t do anything about it. If we don’t talk it out, we will act it out. By talking to someone – hopefully a mental health professional – you will feel less anxious and more at ease. Talking will give you the coping skills and tools you need to solve your problems and begin to overcome your struggles.

Below, I have posted a message from a dear friend who once hired me to speak at their school. It was necessary for this person to take time off to take care of self.

This is very common in today’s educators. I see it every day. I have many counselors and school psychologists that have had to leave education because of their exposure to secondhand trauma. I work with quite a few of them personally.

To all my educator friends: You can have empathy and compassion, but you can’t carry the darkness or the burden of our students. Self-care is about you taking care of yourself. It’s not selfish. Don’t ignore the red flags of your well-being. You matter. Our students need you.

A School Administrator and Mental Illness

“Good morning, my Friend.

Just watched this morning’s video and am now crying in a coffee shop. Good tears, though, because you gave a message I needed to hear this morning. I am working on acceptance every single day…super hard for me. We are now med-twins. I have been diagnosed with “moderate recurrent major depression.” Have been working with a wonderful therapist, as you know, but my doctor finally said, “Enough is enough. Two choices…stop resisting and try meds, or I admit you somewhere.” He plays hard ball and I love him for it. I started Wellbutrin about 6 weeks ago, and therapy was upped to twice a week through the worst of it. I am finally beginning to emerge from the fog, though I have a lot more work to do. I now realize that I’ve lived with depression and anxiety forEVER…. undiagnosed, unacknowledged, and suppressed. I think that my job at school as AP just brought it out…working with kids from trauma, dealing with depression, suicide, drug abuse, etc., overloaded my system and enhanced my negative coping methods (denial denial denial, work harder harder harder, feel responsible to fix all the unfixable things) I crumbled. In therapy, I’m digging up allllllll the shit. Good times! And I’m getting better, I *think*. (Some days I’m not sure, but am told that is part of the process.) You are an inspiration to me every single day. I tell myself all the time, “Jeff does it, so can I.” I believe God sent you to me before I knew I needed you. I had no idea at the time…I brought you in for my kids, but now I need you for me. Funny how life works.
Thinking a lot about how to use this experience to help others someday when I’m stronger and ready. Was thinking how cool it would be to join you on the road…talking to teachers and staff while you address the kids. Our educators are hurting and many of them don’t know how deeply their own wounds run. (I am the perfect example of that…thought it was burnout. Little did I know it wasn’t that simple.)
Anyway…really just wanted to say thank you for continuing to uplift and encourage with strength and courage and vulnerability. Love you! Stay well, and continue to treat yourself with kindness, patience, and compassion. (And good luck with the med shift…I have found the Wellbutrin has given me the energy boost I needed to restart self-care. Hope it works well for you.) ”~Private for Protection

 

Mental Health Educational Speaker, Jeff Yalden

We are losing great teachers and staff members at alarming rates and for many reasons – but one major reason is that the teaching profession is now listed as one of the most stressful jobs out there. We can all do something to change the climate and culture of our institutions, and this alone will be a great step in the overall well-being of everyone. Make this a commitment and be consistent in your plans and execution.

Lose your ego. Open your heart. Take down the wall. Don’t worry about being judged. Talk, my friends.

Thank you all for allowing me to be an inspiration and source of hope to you and your students.

Give hope! Be Influential! Take Care of You First. You can’t pour from an empty pitcher.

Teen Mental Health Motivational and Educational Consultant for School Communities and Mental Health Professionals

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. 

He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.  

His Podcast, Mental Health and Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. 

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:

Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Jeff Yalden YouTube Channel

Facebook Page

School Resources

Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Jeff Yalden: 7 Rules of Life

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Mental Health Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden
The more we get to know ourselves through counseling, wisdom, experience and daily self-care, the more comfortable we are with who we are, what life means and how we live. Enjoy my seven Rules of Life and it is my hope that you find peace, love and joy in your mental and physical well-being, just as I continue to do every day:

1. Let It Go

You are only one person. You can only do so much. If you can change a situation for the better, do so. If you can’t, let it go. Show up every day and do the best you can.

2. Ignore Gracefully

Don’t participate in drama or outside noise. Don’t listen to other people who put you down or don’t believe in you or your dreams.  Ignore those who fail to validate you or are just plain rude. Live a life that is empowering to you. Be graceful in how you respond, act, speak and do. Remember, it’s their issue. Not yours. And if people walk out on you, LET THEM GO!

3. Give It Time

We’re connected 24/7, 365 days a year. Time is at a premium and there never seems to be enough of it. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Although life is about being in the moment, we must also have patience in the process of living. Perfection doesn’t exist. You matter. Perfection doesn’t matter.

4. Don’t Compare

We live in a world where everyone is trying to live a life compared to what they see on social media, and it can become an addiction. What you are accustomed to is embellished, filtered and photoshopped, depicting an image of a lifestyle that isn’t real. People are making it look like their lives are perfect and yours doesn’t measure up. Don’t get caught up in other people’s fake lives. Put the phone down and connect with people your heart to theirs.

5. Breathe & Stay Calm

It will be OK. Just breathe. Stay calm and don’t act on emotions. You don’t need to answer that email or text right now. Take time for yourself. Have balance and boundaries. Have a trusted friend that you can talk to and vent and know they’re supportive and nonjudgmental. Don’t ever be afraid to seek a counselor or therapist to learn tools for coping, communicating or problem solving. Remember, they work for you. Just breathe. It will be OK.

6. You Are Responsible

The most powerful two-letter-ten -words in the English language: “If it’s going to be, then it’s up to me.” Tough times happen. It might be your fault, or it might not – but understand this: How you move forward from anything is always your responsibility. What are you going to do? Don’t be a victim. Choose to be a victor. Don’t be bitter or angry. It does no good. Choose to be better every day. Be responsible in your behavior, your attitude and the choices you make.

7. Smile

Love will always be stronger than hate. A smile will always be better than a frown. You’ll feel the smile yourself and your smile will brighten someone else’s day. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. If you can’t find a reason to smile, try this: Choose three things you are grateful for and reflect on being appreciative. Replace expectations with appreciation and gratitude.

Life Isn’t Easy

Life isn’t all rollercoasters, unicorns and rainbows. Expectations leave us disappointed. We live in an imperfect world. Things aren’t always fair nor are they black and white. Don’t get caught up in the complications of life. You can only do or be in control of so much. This can be overwhelming when you see it all in front of you. Relax. Breathe. Simplify. At the end of the day, you can’t change people, places or things. You can control you and how you live, act, and respond to people, places, and things. Live with grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. Learn self-care and advocate for your own best mental, physical and spiritual health. Be influential. Be the light for others. As Gandhi said, “Be the change.” Live in a way you wish others can live their lives. Thanks for letting me share my 7 Rules for Life.

Teen Mental Health Motivational & Educational Consultant: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as the number one Teen Mental Health Speaker in all of North America. Jeff is a Suicide Crisis Intervention Expert and Suicide Prevention Trainer working with hundreds of school communities every year. He’s an Amazon Best Selling Author of four books, including Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic and BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day!  His podcast, Mental Health & Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on families and teens. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has traveled to 50 states and 48 countries delivering his message, “About Life.” From 2005-2011, Jeff was a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s hit realty show MADE. As a celebrity teen & family life coach, Jeff gets the heart of the matter helping teens, young adults, families, and communities in their struggles together. He’s a Gulf War Veteran and a two- time Marine-of-the-year recipient 1991-1992. He was Mr. New Hampshire Male America, 1990. Every year over 1 million people are left inspired by Jeff Yalden’s inexhaustible energy that permeates after he speaks. Jeff has an online suicide prevention course for school communities, parents, teachers, staff, and teens. Check it out HERE. For more information, please visit www.jeffyalden.com and www.thejyf.org PURCHASE Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/jeffyaldenfoundation Click HERE for school resources. Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Jarrid Wilson Suicide: I’m Angry and Disappointed

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In September, Harvest Christian Fellowship associate pastor, mental health advocate and author Jarrid Wilson made the forever decision to end his life by suicide at only 30 years old.

Before I go any further, I want to send my thoughts and prayers to his wife and sons – to his family, followers and fans. It is with a heavy heart that I write this, but it’s also my responsibility – as it was also Jarrid’s responsibility.

I hope you understand my intentions for sharing my feelings…

Jarrid was a passionate advocate for mental health and suicide prevention. He had the megachurch behind him where he was a pastor. I think of myself as a Christian, and I know that there are many pastors out there living with their share of darkness. I have been fortunate enough to work with a number of them, and they have shared their struggles with me. I have become much more aware of these struggles and in some cases, concerned.

As a suicide prevention and mental health advocate myself – primarily working in school communities with teens, teachers and staff, parents and community leaders – I’ve met and conversed at length with many leaders of churches, and they’ve all told me I’m right and to continue sharing the message when I talk about church and mental health.

Pastors are not perfect

Let me just tell you that 53% of pastors have an addiction to pornography and the occupation of being a pastor is one of the highest for suicidal ideation. I don’t need to go further.

This isn’t about bashing any pastor or any church. It’s about full transparency and not hiding behind a faith to heal your heart or emotions – or hiding behind a congregation for validation. We clearly need more truth, and I think our churches have an incredible responsibility in the mental health crisis we currently live in.

I’m angry and I have a right to be. Here is exactly why I feel as though I do. I’ve been speaking and advocating for mental health and suicide prevention for 28 years.

Jeff Yalden: A Man Who Proudly Lives with Mental Illness

I live with mental illness. I’m diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD]. I travel nearly 180 days a year giving hope, educating, and inspiring many – as did Jarrid. I’m very protective of who is speaking and giving hope and educating those who need help and hope. This isn’t something we should take lightly, and I see too many people thinking that since they have a story, they can save lives. People struggling with mental illness require the help of professionals – not people that can trigger emotions and leave pieces to be picked up later.

Jarrid Wilson’s final act of suicide, in my opinion, sent more of a message than any of his work as an advocate. Any hope he’d given to anyone struggling and who trusted in him was negated by his forever decision in the end.

Because of things like this, I feel that my 28 years of working – speaking throughout the country on mental health and suicide prevention – has become more of a challenge, and this was a big slap in the face…

It’s not OK that Wilson, who was in a position of leadership and trust – serving people and doing kingdom work, ultimately decided to take his own life.

I WISH HE KEPT FIGHTING AND ASKING FOR HELP.

 I believe there is always help available. Take the time to just breathe…

Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps there is a depth of despair I can’t fathom. I’m learning and trying to understand.

I will not give up, but I am angry and really disappointed in Jarrid. As an advocate, you know the work you have to do because you know first-hand the importance of self-care.

Did Jarrid not live the truth he so proudly displayed in his speaking or the books he’d written? Did he not open up about his troubles to his wife or senior pastor? Did he forsake therapy because he thought turning to God would heal his mental illness? Was he even on medication?

I have questions, and I feel like I have the right to know because I fight the battle myself.

Jarrid’s high-pressure role at Harvest Christian Fellowship seemed to be too much, and one of his friends said that he had expressed an interest in stepping down. Did this sign go unnoticed by church leadership? Was there even a conversation as to why he wanted to step down? Was there support for him?

Is the church too big to include input from mental health professionals?

A person I’d like to have lunch with is Mr. Dale Partridge, a pastor and a friend of Wilson’s. What exactly does he know and what did they try and do for Jarrid? It could be possible that Jarrid himself wasn’t as truthful as he could have been about the depth of his pain.

Church Leadership

Before I get out of my car and go into a facility to make a presentation, I always ask God to use me as a vehicle to provide hope, to educate and to plant seeds. I feel strongly that God is with me – but I also feel strongly that God has blessed us with mental health professionals, who are crucial in helping people create a toolbox and resources to help them cope. This is the God I know.

Is it possible that we have churches that are reckless enough to put people with mental illness in positions of leadership? Do certain churches place people into leadership roles even when these people doubt their faith?

Don’t get me wrong. I know we have wonderful houses of worship with fantastic people who lead their congregations – but like anything else, we also have imperfection and unbiblical practices from people who are in positions of great responsibility.

Why are our churches putting these people in such positions? I’ve read that many church leaders have been open about their mental health struggles and their doubts of the Bible and doctrine.

As a man who lives with mental illness, I am the healthiest I’ve ever been, having more fun than ever and feel more present in my work. A huge part of this boils down to the fact that I am doing the work – counseling, therapy, medication and self-care.  I wake up early enough to make sure I take care of myself first.

Self-care is not selfish.

I understand that we are busy. I can also understand the “second-hand trauma” associated with serving others who also struggle – listening to them and acutely aware of their pain. It can be very hard. After years in the trenches of mental illness, I have learned that you can empathize and be compassionate, but you can’t carry the darkness of others.

Anyone in the vocation of serving others – especially pastors – need privacy, not publicity. We need diligent prayer, not overwhelming pressure. We need to truly become servants and should refuse to be placed on pedestals. When a church officer falls, it becomes like a domino effect and causes others to fall. This causes ripples of confusion, fear and doubt among the congregation.

God has given clear instructions that offer protection to His church. Every time we decide to break His commands, we only break ourselves. A pastor is not simply someone who is willing. A pastor is not simply someone who is gifted. A pastor is not simply someone who is educated. He is a man who meets all God’s qualifications. This is safety for God’s church.

I don’t feel my words are coming from ignorance., nor, is my belief uneducated. I feel we need to wake up and see the responsibility we have to one another.

In the world we live in, almost half of all adults will experience mental illness in their lifetime. With being “overwhelmed” as a new clinical diagnosis of mental illness, I believe this to be even higher than half.

We do live in a broken world, but that isn’t an excuse. I’m not asking for perfection or perfect leaders, but I’m asking for accountability and leadership where we take care of one another. I’m very open to a pastor who isn’t perfect, but I want a pastor who is doing the work as in, “Do as I do and as I say. Let me lead you by influence. We do this together.”

For anyone living with mental illness I need you to know it’s OK to not be OK. But if you don’t do something about it, then it’s not OK.  A true leader should know they lead best by their influence and not by spoken words.

It is not shameful to live with mental illness. It is contagious to seek help and want to get better. You can live a very healthy life when learning about mental illness and not ignoring it.

I do not want to come across as judgmental or shaming, I’m just angry for the work we all do and sad for Jarrid’s family and all those that listened to him.

Please forgive me if I offended anyone with how I feel. Mental health is an epidemic and I will continue to work hard – on myself and in service to others. I will always pray for people like Jarrid that hurt so much and ultimately felt the struggle was too much. For Jarrid’s family, his fans, and the love of my work I will always advocate strongly for self-care and complete transparency.

Let’s all learn and grow together.

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as the number one Teen Mental Health Speaker in all of North America. Jeff is a Suicide Crisis Intervention Expert and Suicide Prevention Trainer working with hundreds of school communities every year.

He’s an Amazon Best Selling Author of four books, including Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic and BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day!  His podcast, Mental Health & Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on families and teens.

Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has traveled to 50 states and 48 countries delivering his message, “About Life.”

From 2005-2011, Jeff was a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s hit realty show MADE.

As a celebrity teen & family life coach, Jeff gets the heart of the matter helping teens, young adults, families, and communities in their struggles together.

He’s a Gulf War Veteran and a two- time Marine-of-the-year recipient 1991-1992. He was Mr. New Hampshire Male America, 1990.

Every year over 1 million people are left inspired by Jeff Yalden’s inexhaustible energy that permeates after he speaks.

Jeff has an online suicide prevention course for school communities, parents, teachers, staff, and teens. Check it out HERE.

For more information, please visit www.jeffyalden.com and www.thejyf.org

PURCHASE Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/jeffyaldenfoundation

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