How to Raise Self-Esteem in 30 Seconds a Day

July 22, 2015 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

I want to help you raise your self-esteem in only 30 seconds a day. “You’re not good enough!” Have you ever heard that? “You’re fat!” Have you ever heard that? Have you ever started to believe in what others are saying? Let me help you believe what you are saying, not what others are saying. Hi!, I am Jeff Yalden and I make a career out of helping teens in middle school and high school find self-esteem and value themselves. I work with parents and communities to encourage them to understand their teens and inspire teens to understand their parents. I have an awesome career as a Youth Motivational Speaker. In life, you have to accept that people will tear you down and their words will pierce into your heart. I know that the speed of a hurt for a teen today is as fast as turning on and off a light bulb. You don’t have to be left feeling self-doubt, sadness, low self-esteem, and unworthiness as a result of others words in person or what you might hear or read on social media. These are the words of others. These don’t have to be the words that you speak to yourself. “Tigers don’t lose sleep to the opinion of sheep and lions don’t turn around to the bark of small dogs.” is what I tell my teens when I speak at middle schools and high schools. My question is, “Are you a tiger or a sheep? Are you a lion or a small dog?” How you feel about yourself is what matters. How others feel about you or what they might say is not what matters, but we can use their words to empower our self-respect and our belief in ourselves. I am asking for 30 seconds a day and a commitment throughout the day to make changes you feel are necessary. Let’s do this! You can do this. You should do this.

30 Seconds a Day to Self-Esteem

This is a daily assignment and a 24 hour commitment you make with yourself. You do it first thing in the morning after your morning mirror routine in the bathroom – brushing your teeth, getting your hair did by self, and making sure you look good in those expensive clothes you want to wear because you’re thinking about acceptance of others. Listen, my first suggestion is this: As you look in the mirror are you more concerned about how you look because others will judge you or are you more concerned about who you are? How you look is what others see. Who you are is what you see. How you look is cause for being judged by others. Regardless, people will judge you and you have to accept that. Who you are is the choice you make for yourself and nobody can take that away from you. You choose you and when you pay attention to who you are, how you look will take care of itself. I ask this question in every speaking engagement and the response will astound you. “Are you as beautiful on the inside as I see you on the outside?”, is the question I ask. Everyone that is being honest with me and themselves says, “No.” or “I don’t know.” or, they look at me with a stare and they’re embarrassed to answer. Every middle school assembly and high school assembly, every school assembly or conference I speak at, I ask this question and always get the same response. Why? Because when we are young we want to be accepted more than we want to accept ourselves. We all live with a mask trying to be who others want us to be. Look in the mirror and start to be comfortable with who you are. Then, how you look will take care of itself.

STEP 1 – Self Esteem

So, in your daily routine I want you to address yourself in the mirror after you’ve brushed your teeth and checked how you look – hair and clothes. Empty handed and a couple of deep breaths, I want you to look into your eyes and say this:

“I am smart. I am strong. I am pretty/handsome (if you’re a guy). I can do anything I put my mind to.”

Say it again . . . .

“I am smart. I am strong. I am pretty/handsome (if you’re a guy). I can do anything I put my mind to.”

You have to look at yourself and believe it. You can’t just say it and go through the motions of speaking words. You have to believe the words you speak. You are all alone. I need you to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what you need to say. Be strong and positive. At first, this will be hard, but keep on doing it.

STEP 2 – Answer the Questions

After you’ve said, “I am smart. I am strong. I am pretty/handsome (if you’re a guy). I can do anything I put my mind to.”, I want you to look at yourself and ask if what people might be saying is true.

For example:

If someone says you dress funny. Can that be true? Do you dress differently than others? Does it cause unwanted attention? How about someone says you’re fat. Are you fat? Can you lose weight? Are you unhealthy? Do you have unhealthy habits?

What else are people saying? Do they make fun of you because of your grades? Could it be true that you don’t apply yourself, do your homework, come to school late or don’t care?

You get the point here, right?

STEP 3 – Choose To Change

You spent a few seconds looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “I am smart. I am strong. I am pretty/handsome (if you’re a guy). I can do anything I put my mind to.”

You’ve then addressed some negative things that people might say to you and you’ve found somethings to be true. Now you choose to make changes in your behavior.

Behavioral Change means taking Action. Taking Action requires Motivation. Motivation and Action means RESULTS which means CHANGES because of your Behavior!

You can do this.

Step 4 – Take Action!

You write down some truths of what others might say. Only is you can agree with the facts and truths of what is said. Don’t change for anyone. Choose to change for yourself. Now you’ve addressed the truths and you choose to take action.

You’ve addressed yourself in the mirror.

You’ve made positive comments and self talk. You believe yourself.

You’ve asked the questions you’ve needed to ask. You’ve addressed the truth and sometimes the truth hurts.

Now you are choosing to take action and committing to yourself to make changes for you only.

Throughout the day, you work on what needs to be addressed.

Examples:

Weight – Choose healthy behaviors. Exercise. Log your food intake in MyFitnessPal or write it down. Speak to a nutritionist. Ask questions about protein, sugars, carbs, fat, exercise, and health. Choose to change.
Appearance – Are you wearing glasses that are out of date? Are you wearing clothes too small or too big? What is it about your appearance? Your hair? Your hygiene? What is it? Choose to address these issues one at a time. Get new clothes. Wash and fold your clothes. Change how you wear your hair? Bathe regularly (That’s a great idea!) Remember to do this for yourself.
Choices – Sometimes we act out to be accepted. We want to get a laugh from others. Choose to live in the present and choose your words and actions carefully. Don’t act out for attention. Think before you speak. Think before you do something. Think! TAKE TIME TO THINK is a motto I use everyday.

In short, my message is quite simple. You get up and take care of your hygiene and prepare for the day. This process you are going to add 30 Seconds of Self Talk in a positive frame. You’ll also address what others might say. Write it down. Address it everyday and take positive action towards your own self respect. Like yourself. Love yourself. Being different is ok. You don’t have to be “Normal” to fit it. You have to like yourself and accept yourself to live a fulfilling life that has fulfillment, meaning, and a life that is rewarding. I hope you choose to do this today and start a new daily routine. * Jeff Yalden is a top youth motivational speaker and teen suicide prevention specialist in education. Jeff works with middle schools, high schools, educators, teachers, and communities addressing teen issues and teen life. For more information about Jeff Yalden, please visit www.JeffYalden.com.

Depression – The Common Cold

January 22, 2015 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

“If you only knew how I feel!” I know many people who suffer from depression echo these words every day. What is depression and how do we deal with it everyday? First, depression is a condition we deal with. It’s not who a person is. Depression is a flaw in the brains chemistry, not a person’s character. If you are suffering from depression you’ll understand this: “You wake up only to want to go back to bed. You think nobody understands your feelings and thoughts, or what you are going through. “Just do it!”, people say. As if it were that easy. You try and get ready, but your extremities feel like they’re weighted and moving is a chore. You are totally numb and anything you’ve once enjoyed, you seem to have lost total interest. You want to be alone. You want people to be with you, but you don’t. You want people to understand, but they can’t. How can they when YOU don’t even understand? You’re just numb! Numb to life. You’re emotionally not present. It’s like you are drowning yet you look around and everyone is breathing life. You avoid friends, you end up hurting relationships, make bad financial choices, and you see life speeding by, but you are left standing on the sideline. Depression is a constant feeling of being numb. Numb to emotions. Days aren’t really days when you are depressed; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced, but end up being avoided. How do you face each day? Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting? When you are depressed, you grasp onto anything that can get you through the day. That is what depression is. It’s not sadness or tears; it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.” I am Jeff Yalden, and although this is how I feel much of the time, I am a professional in the mental health field working with teens, parents, and educators. I suffer from depression myself. Anxiety too! While I am sharing this with you, I’ll just let it all out. I am diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and PTSD. I am fully aware of who I am and the triggers that effect my mood swings. I regularly see a counselor and am close with my doctors and medication. Thank you! I am proud to have a platform where I can openly share who I am, not just what I do. I have a message for you: It doesn’t have to be like this. There is help and there is a better way to live with depression. Please read and if this is you, I encourage you to lose your ego and open your heart to a medical professional and get help immediately. Clinical depression is more than just the “blues,” being “down in the dumps,” or experiencing temporary feelings of sadness we all have from time to time. Depression is a serious condition that affects the mind and body. It impacts all aspects of everyday life including eating, sleeping, working, relationships, and how a person thinks of himself/herself. People who are clinically depressed can’t just “snap out of it.” If not treated by a professional the symptoms can continue for weeks, months, and even years. The good news is that there are very effective treatments to help those who are depressed. However, only about one third of those that are depressed actually receive treatment. This is very sad because reports say that upwards of 80-90% of those that seek treatment feel better within weeks. For a variety of reasons many people don’t seek treatment. Some believe that depression is the result of a personal weakness or character flaw. Like diabetes, heart disease, or any other medical condition, clinical depression is an illness that should be treated by a mental health professional or physician. Another reason why many people do not seek help for depression is that they simply do not recognize the signs or symptoms that something may be wrong. Depression, also known as “The Common Cold” of mental illness not only causes suffering to those who are depressed, but it also causes great pain for their family and friends who often do not know how to help. Types of Depression Major Depressive Disorder – This impairs a person’s ability to work, sleep, eat, and function as he or she normally would. It keeps people from enjoying activities that were once pleasurable, and causes them to think about themselves and the world in negative ways. Major depression is often disabling and may occur several times in a person’s life. Dysthmic Disorder – Pronounced (Dis-Thy-mia). This is a milder yet more enduring type of major depression. People with dysthymia may appear to be chronically mildly depressed to the point that is seems to be a part of their personality. When a person finally seeks treatment for dysthymia, it is not uncommon that he/she has struggled with this condition for a number of years. Bipolar Disorder – Also knows as manic-depression or manic-depressive disorder. This condition is characterized by mood that alternated between periods of depression and periods of elation and excitable behavior knows as mania. For people who have bipolar disorder, the depressions can be severe and the mania can seriously impair one’s normal judgement. When manic, a person is prone towards reckless and inapropriate behavior such as engaging in wild spending sprees or having promiscuous sex. He or she may not be able to realize the harm of his/her behavior and may even lose touch with reality. Cyclothymic Disorder – Milder yet more enduring type of bipolar disorder. A person’s mood alternates between a less severe mania (known as hypomania) and a less severe depression. Mood Disorder – General Medical Condition – Depression may be caused or precipitated by a known or unknown physical medical condition such as hypothyroidism. Substance – Induced Mood Disorder – Depression may be caused or precipitated by the use or abuse of substances such as drugs, alcohol, medications, or toxins. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – This condition affects people during specific times or seasons of the year. During winter months individuals feel depressed and lethargic, but during other months their moods may be normal. Postpartum Depression – A rare form of depression occurring in women within one week to six months after giving birth. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder – This is an uncommon type of depression affecting a small percentage of menstruating woman. It is a cyclical condition in which women may feel depressed and irritable for one or two weeks before their menstrual period each month. Adjustment Disorder – Another common type of depression has to do with life changes. Adjustment disorder causes depressed mood, and it can be the result of the death of a loved one, divorce, moving to a different town, or even changing schools. Symptoms of Depression People who are depressed or manic may not experience all of the following symptoms. Some will have many symptoms. Some will have just a few. The severity of symptoms will be different for each individuals and will vary over time. If you are experiencing some of these symptoms or if you have questions about whether you may be depressed or manic, you should consult with your physician or a qualified mental health professional. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, or has made plans to do so, you should seek the help of a mental health professional, call your physician, or call 911. There are several symptoms of depression. Among them are:

Withdrawing from family and friends
Losing interest in social and extracurricular activities
Lack of energy
Feeling tired most of the time
Anxiety
Irritability
Anger
Feelings of sadness for much of the time
Significant weight fluctuations
Sleep pattern changes
Physical pains and aches, or sickness, even though there is nothing physically wrong
Indifference about the future
Afraid of being a burden
Uncharacteristic pessimism
Guilty feelings
Lowering self-esteem
Suicidal thoughts

While these symptoms can be experienced by nearly everyone at some point in life, it is important to be able to tell depression apart from the normal roller coaster of life. ** A general rule of thumb for recognizing depression is that five or more symptoms will persist without break for more than two weeks. Treatment for Depression Depression can be treated. If you are self medicating through substance abuse, over the counter medications, alcohol, cutting or self harm, please speak to a medical professional as soon as possible. Getting help requires you to pick up the phone and make an appointment. Within a couple of weeks you will feel better and you’ll be thankful you made this decision. Everybody is different. For some, therapy alone works well, while for others, medication is needed. Most people respond favorably to a combination of therapy and medication. However, it is important to realize that medication can become habit forming, and that it should only be used while under a doctor’s care, and only as directed. ——————————————————————————- Jeff Yalden is a motivational speaker who speaks to nearly 250,000 people each year in high schools, middle schools, and parent / community presentations. Jeff specializes in teen depression, mental health, and talking to parents about teens and technology – cell phones and the use of social media. Jeff is an expert on the relationship between parents and teenagers and bridges the gap between the two. For more information on Jeff Yalden, please visit www.JeffYalden.com. There you will find out about Jeff’s TV Show coming up, his Radio Show, books, and Podcast. Also, visit Jeff Yalden on YouTube and watch his videos.

Suicide Prevention . . . There is HOPE!

December 5, 2014 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Suicide

Your Role in the Prevention of Suicides By Jeff Yalden, CSP, Suicide Prevention Expert Suicide is a a major concern that is invading schools and communities at an ever increasing rate and your school is not immune. Every day it is estimated that 85 individuals commit suicide in the United States alone and for every death by suicide there are 25 suicide attempts. Suicide has climbed to the third leading cause of death for youth ages 15-24 with ‘accidental deaths’ ranking second. I deal with suicide and mental health weekly. It’s surprising when I talk to students, parents, faculty, staff members, and administrators, to hear they are often surprised when they hear how vulnerable their community is to depression and other mental heath concerns. Suicide is taboo. Let’s not talk about it. 90% of suicides are a result of depression, a form of mental health. Suicide is preventable and there is HOPE. Online Training is Available . . . The truth is that we are in a national, regional and personal war against suicide with our focus on not only saving lives but on ending stigma toward suicide and other mental health concerns. How are we supposed to prevent suicides when a majority of well educated professionals in leadership roles do not recognize that this problem exists right under their leadership, in their communities, in their schools? Interpersonal research on suicidal communications among significant others has shown that one of the most common responses of friends and family members to a threat of suicide is no response even though, 90 percent of people thinking about taking their lives have communicated their intentions to others. If you suspected that a friend was suffering from pneumonia or a broken leg, you would most likely do something to intervene. Peoples’ response to a possible suicide crisis tends to be much more complicated, though it does not have to be. We have to stop being afraid to talk about the “S” word. Most people have not been educated on the warning signs and symptoms of suicide and there fore do not know what to look for when anticipating whether someone they know is at risk for suicide. Most people do not know how to talk to someone about suicide and most people struggle with how to get help for someone that they feel could be at risk. One common myth about suicide is the thinking that if I talk to the person about suicide, I might make him or her feel worse, or worse yet, I might put the idea in his or her head. This myth is simply not true. In fact, most individuals who attempt or complete suicide are ambivalent about the act of taking their own life up until the point that they attempt or complete suicide. Most individuals want desperately to be helped and saved from the pain, but in feeling trapped or stuck begin to think that suicide may be the only option. Most suicidal individuals enter that point in which they actually intend to take their own lives only briefly until the state of crisis is over. Suicide can be stopped with basic training in the a) warning signs, b) ways to talk to a suicidal individual, and c) places to refer him or her for immediate help. This is the training that I do in schools and communities. I am on the front lines of suicide prevention, but it is essential that you educate yourself about the ways that you can help. I am offering a certified suicide prevention training (Question, Persuade, Refer [QPR]), to all students, faculty, and staff members. This 90-minute to w hour training is designed to help provide the critical skills necessary for non-mental health professionals when faced with a possible person/student of concern. QPR training is engaging and informative to all faculty, staff, and students and includes information on: • The problem of suicide nationally, and locally • Common myths and facts associated with suicide • Warning signs of suicide • Tips for asking the suicide question • Methods for persuading suicidal individuals to get help • Ways of referring at risk people to local resources • AND time for Questions and Answers With medical costs costing an attempted suicide between $5,000 and $30,000 dollars, you have to address this issue now and take advantage of this important and very crucial training. Another reason why you need to address teen suicide is because each week I hear from educators, teachers, and communities about their schools having suffered through not just one suicide, but multiple suicides within days, weeks, months. How about six suicides in four weeks? How about nine teen suicides in one year? What are you doing? In doing so you will learn that individuals who are at risk for suicide are not that different from someone in physical pain; emotional pain can be harder to see if you’re not looking. For more information about QPR Training with Jeff Yalden, contact 800-948-9289 or email us today. We can also come to your facility and train your staff members. Sign up for an Online Suicide Prevention Training with Jeff Yalden.

Teen Depression & Suicide – It’s Real!

November 11, 2014 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff Yalden Changes Lives!

It’s another day and another phone call when I hear of another teen suicide. This time it’s a popular senior and the incoming student council president of an elite private school in Hobe Sound, Florida. The administration just wanted to ask general questions hearing that I deal with this quite often. School hasn’t started, but the teachers, staff members, and the community is quite shaken. As you can imagine, parents want answers to the many questions that they’ve never had to ask – Until now! Three weeks later, on the second day of school, I visited the campus to welcome the students, bring closure to a tough three weeks, and to encourage the students to make this a great year. That night in the gymnasium over 200 parents came out to hear me talk about Teens, Depression, and Suicide. 200 parents came from a school with only 175 student grades. 200 parents is a great turnout.

The reality is sometimes there are no answers. There doesn’t have to be a note left behind or friends having concerns. It could be many reasons leaving us to speculate for the rest of our lives and to wonder what we could have done to prevent this suicide from happening. It could be an attempt to reach out for help that went too far and ultimately a suicide was completed. It could be irresponsible thoughts leading to irresponsible behavior where a teen is reacting in the moment and not thinking long term. For many teens, the smallest thing can happen and for them it’s the end of the world. In my opinion, I find that we’ve become an educational society focused greatly on academics and standardized testing. This has taken away human interaction and quality time where teens can learn problem solving and coping skills. Also, there is less activity that teens are involved in such as school sports and extracurricular activities, which leads teens to an average of 50-70 hours a week of screen time – computer, cell, social media outlets, etc. This is my opinion on the forefront. There are many other reasons such as mental illness – which is the case for over 90% of completed suicides.

Want a Suicide Prevention Training Class with your staff or community? Visit Jeff Yalden at www.JeffYalden.com/suicide-prevention-training and let’s prevent these suicides from happening in our communities. Social Media Depression Between the ages of 8-18 – Kids feel sad if they compare their lives to what they see on other social media profiles such as instagram, facebook, snap chat, group texting, etc. What does this lead to? It leads to isolation, feelings of comparison as they see they’re not as popular or accepted as others. It ultimately can lead to depression. Teenagers live in the here and the now and what they are seeing is posts and pictures of others having fun and they are not. They see smiles and laughs and they’re wondering why they aren’t having as much fun or laughing as much. Or, they wonder why they weren’t invited. This leads to so many thoughts going on in their heads. Again, leading to depression. In 2012, Medical News Today reported on a study suggesting that Facebook use may feed anxiety and increase a person’s feeling of inadequacy. For teenagers today, Facebook isn’t cool anymore. It’s instagram and snapchat right now that are the hottest. Same anxiety and an increase in a person’s feeling of inadequacy though. Just a different platform. A more recent study, led by social psychiatrist Ethan Cross of the University of Michigan, found that using Facebook may even make us miserable. Again, different social media platforms, but same results. Impact Cell Phones have on Teen Life Ask any teenager about the loss of their cell phone and at least half of them would tell you their social life would end or be worsened. Most teens will tell you that their mobile device improves their life and they couldn’t imagine a life without it.

A majority of teens view their cell phone as the key to their social life.
Second only to clothing, teens say, a person’s cell phone tells the most about their social status or popularity, outranking jewelry, watches and shoes.

Teens say texting has advantages over talking because it offers more options, including multitasking, speed, the option to avoid verbal communication, and because it is fun. Teens can text blindfolded – can you? We as a society of parents having never been “on” all the time and connected have to understand that we are raising kids that are living at a time where they are constantly ‘on’ and connected. I would encourage any parent to explore ways to encourage or even mandate ‘off’ time, not just away from social media sites, but away from all devices. That is probably good advice for all of us. Our youth today live 24 hours with their cell phones by their side. They sleep with their cell phone at their head because they don’t want to miss something. The excuse I hear from parents is that their kids use their cell phone as an alarm clock. I understand, but that is an excuse. In the middle of the night they wake up and look at their phone. This is taking them out of that deep level four sleep. Now they want to check for texts, messages, instagram, snapchat, or any other social media outlets they are on. This is leading to losing sleep and being tired because they’re not getting the adequate sleep they need; and we want to make the school day start later? Let’s address the problem and not enable the situation. Let’s not even address nutrition and physical activity that is depriving today’s youth as well. Take the phones away at bedtime and get them a cheap $15 alarm clock that shows time. Teen Depression The age of teens 13 – 19 is an unsettling time, with the many physical, emotional, psychological and social changes that accompany this stage of life. This is where you need to watch out for teen depression. Ups and downs are a regular part of life. However, sometimes “down” periods last longer than usual. This is usually a result of chemicals in the brain, called neurotransmitters, being out of balance. Among teens, depression can be a very real problem. Experts estimate that teen depression strikes about one out of eight teenagers. Teen depression can come on as a result of chemical changes in the brain due to stress or even hormonal changes. No matter how teenage depression occurs it’s important to get help restoring the brain’s chemical balance, as prolonged depression can lead to self-destructive behaviors including risk taking, cutting, self-harm, substance abuse and even suicide. Symptoms of teen depression There are several symptoms of teen depression. Among them are:

Withdrawing from family and friends
Losing interest in social and extracurricular activities
Lack of energy
Feeling tired most of the time
Anxiety
Irritability
Anger
Feelings of sadness for much of the time
Significant weight fluctuations
Sleep pattern changes
Physical pains and aches, or sickness, even though there is nothing physically wrong
Indifference about the future
Afraid of being a burden
Uncharacteristic pessimism
Guilty feelings
Lowering self-esteem
Suicidal thoughts

While these symptoms can be experienced by nearly everyone at some point in life, it is important to be able to tell teen depression apart from the normal roller coaster of life. A general rule of thumb for recognizing teenage depression is that five or more symptoms will persist without break for more than two weeks. Major types of Teen Depression There are two main types of teen depression. These include: Major depression: This type of teen depression is of short duration, although it is quite severe. It is possible to have a bout of severe depression, feel fine for a few months (or even years), and then have another bout. For teens, though, even one bout of severe depression can feel as though it will never end and prompt a suicide attempt. Dysthymia: Dysthymia lasts much longer than major depression, and the feelings are not as severe. Some teens have this low level depression that plagues them for years without having it diagnosed. This type of depression can also lead to teen suicide if the teenager becomes discouraged with never feeling happy. Another type of teen depression has to do with life changes. It is called adjustment disorder with depressed mood, and it can be the result of the death of a loved one, divorce, moving to a different town, or even changing schools. This, too, can lead to teen suicide if the teenager feels hopeless, and that the feeling will never end. Treatment for Teen Depression Teen depression can be treated and (Suicide Prevention Training is available), before lasting damage is done in the form of self-medicating (through substance abuse) or even teen suicide. Every teenager is different, however. For some teens, therapy alone works well, while for others, medication is needed. Most teens respond favorably to a combination of therapy and medication. However, it is important to realize that medication can become habit forming, and that it should only be used while under a doctor’s care, and only as directed. Teen Suicide Teen suicide is a very real issue today in the United States. As parents and educators we need not shy away from this subject. We are dealing with an epidemic and by talking about it we can help save a life or more. In order to prevent teen suicide, it is vital to recognize what leads to it, and then treat the causes. National Institute of Mental Health believes that as many as 25 suicides are attempted for each one that is completed. That means that for every teen suicide that you hear of, there are probably at least 25 suicide attempts made. And this does not even cover the teenage suicide attempts and completed suicides that are never heard about. Understanding that a teen suicide attempt is a call for help is essential in preventing a completed attempt later. Many attempts are calls for help and lead to living a fulfilling and meaningful life years later. Teenagers experience strong feelings of stress, confusion, self-doubt, pressure to succeed, financial uncertainty, being a burden, and other fears while growing up. For some teenagers, divorce, the formation of a new family with step-parents and step-siblings, or moving to a new community can be very unsettling and can intensify self-doubts. For some teens, suicide may appear to be a solution to their problems and stress. The reality is SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT ACTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM! Depression and suicidal feelings are treatable mental disorders. The child or adolescent needs to have his or her illness recognized and diagnosed, and appropriate treatment plans developed. When parents are in doubt whether their child has a serious problem, a psychiatric examination can be very helpful. Many of the signs and symptoms of suicidal feelings are similar to those of depression. Learn how to identify, question, persuade, and refer a student or person in need . . . Visit www.JeffYalden.com/suicide-prevention-training Teen suicide statistics and gender Teen suicide statistics draw a correlation between gender and suicide. It is interesting to note that there are some very clear indications that suicide is different for males and females, attempted and completed suicides alike. For example, males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females. However, teen girls are more likely than teen boys to attempt suicide. So, even though teenage girls make more attempts on their own lives than teenage boys, the boys are more likely to actually complete a suicide attempt. They do not allow for intervention, and are less likely to “call for help” through a suicide attempt, since there is often little opportunity to get males into treatment since their suicide completion rate is higher than that of females. Causes of teen suicide There are several different factors that may lead a teenager to take his or her life, but the most common is depression. Feelings of hopelessness and anxiety, along with feelings of being trapped in a life that one can’t handle, are very real contributors to teen suicide. In some cases, teenagers believe that suicide is the only way to solve their problems. The pressures of life seem too much to cope with, and some teenagers look at suicide as a welcome escape. Other factors that may contribute to teen suicide include:

Divorce of parents
Violence in the home
Inability to find success at school
Feelings of worthlessness
Rejection by friends or peers
Substance abuse
Death of someone close to the teenager
The suicide of a friend or someone he or she “knows” online
Disappointment

Signs that your teenager may attempt suicide It is important to be on the look out for signs that your teen may attempt suicide. What is so difficult about some of these warning signs of teen suicide is that some of them are similar to normal adolescent behavior. The teenage years are a trying time, and sometimes, normal behavior looks a lot like possibly destructive behavior. But it doesn’t hurt to look into the following warning signs of teen suicide:

Talks about death and/or suicide (maybe even with a joking manner)
Plans ways to kill him or herself
Expresses worries that nobody cares about him or her
Has attempted suicide in the past
Dramatic changes in personality and behavior
Withdraws from interacting with friends and family
Shows signs of depression
Shows signs of a substance abuse problem
Begins to act recklessly and engage in risk-taking behaviors
Begins to give away sentimental possessions
Spends time online interacting with people who glamorize suicide and maybe even form suicide pacts

It is possible to get professional help in preventing teen suicide. Indeed, this is a preferred option. If you are concerned about your teenager, talk to your child’s doctor about the available options and therapies for teen depression. You should see someone immediately (and never leave your teen alone) if you suspect that a suicide attempt is imminent. Some things you might try include:

Counseling – This can be done individually or as a family. Techniques allow your teenager to learn to cope with life. Often, when a teen learns how to handle problems (and families learn how to help), the desire to kill him or herself dissipates.
Residential treatment – This is treatment in which a suicidal teen goes elsewhere to live for a time. This can be a special treatment facility, or it can be a therapeutic boarding school. In these settings, the teenager is monitored 24/7 in order to prevent a suicide attempt. Additionally, most residential treatment facilities have trained professional staff that can help a suicidal teen.
Medication – This is often seen as a last resort, or as something complementary to other treatments. It is important to note that in some teenagers, medication can have the opposite effect desired; some studies show that for some teens anti-depressants actually increase the chance of teen suicide. Carefully consider your teen’s needs before medicating.

It is important to treat your child with respect and understanding. Show your unconditional love, and offer emotional support. It is important that a teen considering suicide feel loved and wanted. Show your teenager that it is possible to overcome life’s challenges, and make sure that he or she knows that you are willing to help out. If you are interested in Suicide Prevention Training for Schools, Teachers, Community or Military Professionals, please visit www.JeffYalden.com/suicide-prevention-training and we will be glad to come out and train your staff members on how to identify, question, persuade, and refer a person they might suspect to be suicidal. Please read . . .

Two Kansas high school friends, fellow soccer players, commit suicide 48 hours apart

Who is Jeff Yalden? Jeff Yalden is a youth motivational speaker and facilitator of Suicide Prevention Trainings. Jeff has worked with youth, educators, and families for 23 years. He’s the author of Your Life Matters, a radio show host of The Jeff Yalden Show and has a Podcast – Encouraging Parents & Inspiring Teens. Since 1992, Jeff has traveled 50 states and 48 countries mesmerizing teen audiences with his heartfelt message about Love, Life, and Living. He’s delivered his talk in over 4,000 high schools and middle schools, colleges and universities. He’s been the keynote speaker for hundreds of leadership conferences talking to teens about personal leadership and your influence on others. Jeff Yalden is an advocate for mental health and teen depression. Being a person that has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, bi-polar type 2, and PTSD, Jeff is passionate about sharing his story and inspiring those in a position to help and inspire others. Jeff is engaging, charismatic, and real. Your community will be delighted to host Jeff for your teens and parents or a Staff In-Service Training on how to identify, question, persuade, and refer a potential suicidal student to get help. Your audience will laugh, think, and reflect, but ultimately they will leave cheering themselves and their kids on. For more information, visit www.JeffYalden.com. and www.JeffYalden.com/suicide-prevention-training.

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