Inspiring Conversations: Ep.1 – Bobby Petrocelli

April 1, 2020 by Jeff Yalden

You Matter . . . IT Doesn’t

I got on ZOOM about five minutes before our time of 12:00pm, April 1, 2020. No, this is not an April Fools’ Day joke. By the way, I don’t like April Fools’ jokes. I was excited to speak with fellow author, speaker and educator Bobby Petrocelli. I asked him to tell me a couple of things on his heart that he might want to talk about that day.

Bobby Petrocelli is passionate and wise, and I knew I’d have questions.

Right away, Bobby mentioned his book, YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T. He told me he wanted to talk about the WHY behind the IT. I knew where he was going with this because it’s right up my alley. I composed myself and started with a prayer…

A Talk Show is BORN!

During my interview with Petrocelli, it dawned on me that I needed to do a YouTube channel dedicated to inspiring conversations, and here we are. Just like that, the show is created. Now I just need to figure out how to make a YouTube talk show.

This is a good time to figure it out, because nothing much is happening, and I have time. The COVID-19 pandemic has us all struggling with social isolation. Schools are closed, many people are out of work and obviously my speaking schedule is on hold.

It’s during times like this where you have time to create new ideas that might take off. We can choose victim or victor, right? I love Bobby Petrocelli. He’s a great man and an amazing speaker. We’ve known each other for many years. When I get a chance to interview him, I get excited. He’s inspiring and knowledgeable. He’s a man of God and cares about youth and families. He cares about people.

Find out more about Bobby HERE.

IT HAPPENED . . .

What is IT?

The IT represents the result of something. Bobby talked about his wife being killed by a drunk driver when he was 24 years old. The IT is his wife was killed by a drunk driver. The WHY is what we don’t often talk about. Among other things, the IT leaves us angry, hurt, resentful, and broken. We end up going through life carrying this feeling because we don’t move past IT.

WHY did IT Happen?

The WHY is behind the IT and gives us the answers we are looking for so we can move forward and cope with whatever happened. The WHY takes us on a journey to understand what needs to be understood. If we don’t ask questions, we are never healed through whatever pain we are going through. IT happened and we can’t change it, but we can change how we grow, cope, and move forward in a healthy way. For Bobby, he was prepared as much as anyone can prepare for something tragic like this. He said, “If we don’t ask the WHY then IT will dominate your life,” and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Bobby is a man of faith – a strong man of God. Right away he right away talked about forgiveness…

He didn’t say that he condones wrongdoing.

Forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving. He knew that he had to forgive this man who was two times the legal limit, driving while intoxicated when his wife was killed. Forgiveness was his first step in recovery. Amazing! He was 24 years old and he knew he had to forgive, when most people would have been angry at the world.

Bobby wasn’t.

I asked him about this.

“I had been prepared for something like this,” he said. I’m not exactly sure what Bobby meant, because who can prepare for something so tragic – but I knew it was his faith in God. It was also his ability to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset – even at 24. I’m telling you; Bobby Petrocelli is an inspirational man.

Is What You’re Being Asked to do IMPOSSIBLE?

The above question is something Bobby asks his audiences.

“You have it, whatever it is, so let’s build on it,” he said.

Bobby talked about how we have what it takes so let’s learn. Let’s be open to learning and engage in the process every day. I was thinking, don’t be the victim, be the victor. We have a lot in common, but he’s so much better at speaking about it.

You’re never asked to do anything impossible. You can choose to walk away, or you can choose to saddle up and figure it out.

Petrocelli: 10 Seconds

IT happened, but Bobby was not going to fold.

10 Seconds got him through this.

“It’s not one day at a time, like so many people say. For me, I couldn’t think of the next five minutes. I had to break it down to 10 Seconds. For me it was 10 Seconds at a time.”

I was at my worst at 16 and again at 22. I can still remember those days.

At 16, I wasn’t listening to anyone. I had a fixed mindset. At 22, I knew a little better and was very close to my grandparents. My grandmother used to say to me, “Jeff, take it one meal at a time. After dinner, go to bed, and just wake up for breakfast.”

That was my 10 Seconds at a time. The thing here that I want to make clear is that it’s not that things get better with time, but it’s what you do with that time where things get better. Sometimes, it’s just putting space between a thought and an action. It’s being grounded, present in the moment, breathing and just knowing that it will be okay.

Success: Patterns, Habits, and Routines

Nobody is better than anyone else, but some people have a routine and they’re driven. They wake up on time because they go to bed at a set time. They don’t waste hours on their smartphones, doing things that don’t matter. Successful people have a purpose. Their IT is their success. They’ve created patterns, habits and a routine to accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves.

What is the WHY? That differs from person to person, but one thing is certain: Everyone has been knocked down in life. You have a choice at this point. You can stay knocked down or you can get back up.

Bobby got back up. He knew he needed some things in his life to be right in order for him to cope through his loss.

You are a result of your patterns, habits and routines – your attitude, friends, and commitment to a GROWTH MINDSET.

Your Friends are The ROOTS, LEAVES, or the BRANCHES

I got chills when Bobby started talking about Tyler Perry’s Madea – Let Them Go.

I love this skit and it is so right. Your friends are either the roots, the leaves, or the branches. Watch the video and understand this analogy. So true.

What Works For You

The first thing to do is to engage in the process. Choose a growth mindset. Don’t be a victim. Go from IT happened to understanding WHY it happened. Then, it’s HOW CAN I . . .? How can I be better at this or that? What can I do to be can I be a better person? How can I move forward with love, compassion, forgiveness, and be healthier? It’s about being present in moments. Now. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Not even in five minutes, but here and now. Within these moments, what productive thing are you doing that works best for you?

Bobby puts it this way: “Is what I am doing making me better or hurting me?”

For Petrocelli, that question made all the difference, and helped him toward a healthy outcome. it was the moments where he would ask if what he was doing was helping or hurting him towards a healthy outcome. He set a growth mindset.

Here are the very simple and true bullets I took from this part of my conversation with Petrocelli:

Be still
You’re One of a Kind
Don’t Rob Yourself
Find Those Roots on a Tree as a Friends

Very simple and true.

Be Still

Be present and know that in stillness great things will happen.

You’re One of a Kind

Self-Esteem. Stop focusing on being beautiful on the outside and look within yourself and know you are one of a kind. There is nothing or nobody else like you.

Don’t Rob Yourself

You have a gift and you need to use it. Don’t let what is so special about you be robbed because you’re not seeing what is special. Self-esteem again. Know you are capable and beautiful and have a growth mindset.

Find the ROOTS on a TREE as your Friends

You want friends that aren’t there for a season. You want friends in your life that are invested. Surround yourself with people who are there to plant seeds rather than pick the fruit. Let them go if they’re not in your life for the right reasons.

Remember: YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T.

There is a WHY to why we are broken, rejected, abandoned, or hurt. Don’t choose to carry this pain with you through life. Develop a growth mindset. Figure out the WHY and ask the HOW questions.

Remember, forgiveness is for you. It’s not for them.

Choose love. Choose you. Choose Growth.

Check out Bobby Petrocelli at www.10Seconds.org. As always, I am at www.JeffYalden.com.

BOOM Podcast Episode 5: Jeff Yalden From the Heart

June 19, 2017 by Roger Yale

Instead of interviewing somebody for episode 5 of The BOOM Podcast, speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden reflected on his experience of participating in the Dirty Myrtle Mud Run in Myrtle Beach, S.C. last month – and weighing on his heart was a message he wanted to share, the essence of what the BOOM is all about. The Dirty Myrtle Mud Run is a 5K race – 3.2 miles with obstacles along the way – and Yalden wasn’t feeling it on the morning of the race when his fiancée Janet Kelly woke him up. “She said that we had signed up and that we were going to do it,” he said. “I didn’t want to fight it because I knew I needed to do it.” But that morning, Yalden was not motivated – he wasn’t feeling strong, flexible or energetic – but he remembered his primary goals for the year when it came to his fitness: Be consistent and show up. “I didn’t want to do it. I was nervous. I was scared – but you know what? We all go through that. We all go through times of self-doubt, but I made a commitment,” he said.

Yalden with Fiancee Janet Kelly and Friends at Dirty Myrtle Mud Run 2017

This was about getting his blood flowing and his body moving. He was going to be outdoors in the sun, building up a sweat and seeing his friends. And the fact that it was a beautiful day brightened his outlook tremendously. “I didn’t have any expectations of what place I would come in. I wanted this to be more about self-care than it was about the end result,” he said. He showed up – and the BOOM had everything to do with that. “The BOOM was that I got up and went. The BOOM got me off the couch – and while I was doing this, I saw other people doing the obstacles. I wasn’t jealous that they could do more than me because that’s not the BOOM mentality. The BOOM mentality is that you are proud of people and you want them to succeed every day,” he said. Showing up is the magic bullet – and is a major part of the BOOM. Yalden illustrated his point with a story about basketball. “I am 46 years old, and haven’t picked up a basketball in quite some time – but if I was at the free-throw line with Steph Curry [Stephen Curry – Golden State Warriors] and I took a shot but he didn’t, who would have a better chance of that ball going in?” According to Yalden, the point is that we tend to keep the ball in our hands.

“We’re afraid to dribble for the fear that the [ball] might be taken away. We’re afraid to take the shot for the fear that we might miss whatever shot we take. But if I take the shot, I have a chance of that shot going in. The point is that you have just got to show up – and don’t be afraid to show up because that journey starts somewhere.” Yalden said he came to realize that we are all at different points in our journeys toward being the best that we can be. Be patient in the process. And if that means simplifying and streamlining along the way, don’t hesitate to do just that. In this heart-to-heart episode of The BOOM Podcast, Yalden spoke of the stages of life: In your twenties, it’s all about self – about that job, that college degree and how much money you are making. In your thirties, it’s about success. You want people to perceive you as being successful. In your forties, it’s all about significance. It becomes a little less about you and more about that significant contribution that you can provide to your community. “I think about significance,” Yalden said. “I don’t care about standing ovations anymore. I don’t care about the grand applause anymore. I care about the teachable moment – when I know I am connecting with a person.” When a person enters their fifties, it’s about building a legacy. “Where are you in your journey of life? At what point in this journey are you going to start to really look at who you are as a person?” Yalden had a recent conversation with his friend, speaker and author John Crudele, in which Crudele shared a quote that Yalden felt compelled to write down: It’s not about what you go through. It’s about what goes through you when you go through it that makes you who you are. “You see, my friends – we don’t go over things. We go through things – because in the process of going through things, those things teach us so much,” Yalden said, adding that your thinking leads to your beliefs, your beliefs lead to your behaviors, your behaviors lead to your attitude, your attitude leads to your feelings, and your feelings lead to your choices.” BOOM! In this episode of the BOOM Podcast and in his Amazon bestseller, BOOM! One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day, Yalden says the BOOM is not about being in a place where people envy you. The BOOM is about wherever you are in your journey – and your journey is different from everybody else’s journey. “I want you to bring the BOOM every day,” he said. “When you wake up in the morning and you put your feet on the floor and stroll into that bathroom – you brush your teeth, wash your face, clap your hands – and do your dance. And when you go through things, make sure you give yourself a daily reward.” And Yalden is happy about the outcome of his day at the Dirty Myrtle Mud Run. “I did it. I’m proud of myself. I didn’t want to do it, but I pushed myself to get up and do it. I didn’t break any records, but I did it – and that’s the bottom line. Get up every day. Be consistent and show up – and little by little we become better today than we were yesterday. We become better than we were today.” Click HERE to listen to Episode 5 of The BOOM Podcast. For details about the BOOM Podcast, go HERE. GRAB your copy of Jeff Yalden’s Amazon bestseller, BOOM! One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day. JOIN the BOOM Facebook Community. For everything about Jeff Yalden, click HERE.

Missouri Communities Rocked by Teen Suicide

March 20, 2017 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff Yalden Shares Messages of Hope and Comfort to Missouri Communities Rocked by Teen Suicides By Roger Yale for Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker According to teen suicide prevention expert Jeff Yalden, the state of Missouri is going through a really tough time right now when it comes to teen suicide. Three weeks ago, Yalden delivered a comprehensive presentation about teen suicide and mental health in Hannibal, MO, and returned this week to Brookfield and Barnard, MO, two communities that are still reeling from the losses of two irreplaceable young people. BROOKFIELD On Tuesday, March 7, students from five schools in Linn County converged on Brookfield High School to hear Jeff Yalden speak to them on their level, and planting seeds of hope, enthusiasm and perseverance – and what he calls a drive for success in their journey of life. He captivated middle and high-schoolers, urging them to live in the now and what that might mean – the ups and downs, the challenges and the victories wrapped up in the everyday moments that, strung together, make up a life. The assembly was only the beginning for Yalden. He was booked by Angie Wallace, who founded the Taylor Gilpin Wallace Foundation for Suicide Prevention on behalf of her son after her son made the forever decision to take his own life. “Angie brought me in for an all-day event – high school kids, middle school kids, a luncheon with the community and a parent program – very similar to Hannibal,” he said, adding that Wallace and her son Tanner attended the program in Hannibal. The luncheon was attended by student council kids, physicians, the CEO of the local hospital, prominent community members and the executive director of the Missouri Association of Student Councils, Terri Johnson. A young man stood up and shared his story from when he was contemplating suicide. “Really, what this day was about was inviting the community to open their hearts and minds and understand mental health and teen suicide and how real it is,” he said. Following a dinner with the Wallace family, which Jeff cites as amazing, warm and generous, it was off to the parent program – which was set up at Park Baptist Church in Brookfield. The program was live on Wallace’s foundation page, garnering appreciative comments from as far afield as Texas. “We had about 200 community members come out to my parent program,” he said. “We had clear eyes and full hearts. We shed tears. We also laughed and did some reflecting. It was a beautiful day.” BARNARD That night, Yalden drove more than two hours to Barnard, MO, where just four weeks ago, a young lady named Baylee ended her own at just 16. “A lot of teachers and counselors said that Baylee was probably the most popular junior in her class and that she was an old soul,” he said, adding that Baylee’s grandfather also committed suicide, and that they were very close. “Baylee had a disease that was a little bit debilitating, but she learned how to deal with it. She had a great personality – vibrant and ornery. You couldn’t help but to love her, they say.” She took her life on February 5 – Super Bowl Sunday. He spoke at South Nodaway High School and noted that the principal, Darbi Bauman, was actually Baylee’s aunt. Guidance counselor Nick Wray coordinated the event, and Yalden met with all the classes individually before delivering a speech at the full assembly. The school serves grades 7-12 with total enrollment of 84 students. Students from nearby Jefferson High School attended the assembly as well. After a brief visit with faculty and staff, Yalden visited Baylee’s family’s house. “I sat down with mom, dad and her sister and heard the story. I read the suicide letter and saw Baylee’s bedroom,” he said. Yalden also saw Baylee’s scrapbook at school, and helped her fellow students clean out her locker – a poignant moment, but one which gave these young people a sense of closure. At the family home, Yalden was hit with a realization. “For the first time in my life, I think I’d come to realize that not all suicides are a selfish individual act, and there’s so much more to explain how I feel about this situation – but Baylee knew what she was doing. It was a combination of many things, and I think Baylee was just really, really tired.” However, Yalden said this left the community rocked to the core. “There is heartache. Everybody is hurting. They were very concerned with the kids and them moving forward. This is a very tight community,” he said. He closed out the night with a family/community program attended by more than 200 family members. “After leaving that community and hearing the hearts of everybody and the pain in those hearts, I’ll tell you – Baylee was definitely the one girl you would want to meet. To discover more about North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker – visit www.jeffyalden.com. Book Jeff now by calling 800-948-9289.

Jeff Yalden visits Renowned Hilton Head Prep for a Day

February 1, 2017 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

A Day in the South Carolina Lowcountry:

Jeff Yalden Inspires, Empowers and Delivers at Hilton Head Prep

Jeff Yalden, the top teen motivational speaker in North America, doesn’t sit still for long. After 25 years of encouraging parents and inspiring teens with his hard-hitting and heartfelt messages concerning all aspects of adolescent and teen life and the very real struggles associated with it, Yalden has the uncanny ability to meet young people where they live without pulling any punches – and he is not about to stop now. On January 30, 2017, Jeff spent the day with parents and students at Hilton Head Preparatory School on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Hilton Head Prep is accredited by the Southern Association of Independent Schools and boasts more than 400 students from Junior Kindergarten through grade 12. Founded in 1965, it is the oldest school on the island. Currently, 100 percent of Hilton Head Prep graduates are accepted to college. Jeff’s day began with a 45-minute talk with parents, covering topics ranging from teen mental health to social media – with emphasis on the importance of parental involvement in their children’s social media activities. “When I got there, I asked how many parents were going to show up, and they said they would be excited to have five and ecstatic to have 20. They had over 45 parents come out,” he said. Last week in Clinton, Indiana, much of Jeff’s message also centered on parental vigilance about social media, and this was a big part of his toolkit for parents in Hilton Head. “Parents – you have a responsibility to take your kids’ phones by 10:00 at night. Our kids need more sleep, our kids need more exercise and our kids need to eat better foods – and that’s a parental responsibility – so let’s stop blaming it on our teachers and on our educational system,” he said. He stressed the importance of effective and stronger parenting in our nation today. “Our kids have a lot more opportunities provided to them than we ever did when we were growing up, and even some of our best kids are getting caught up doing things they shouldn’t be doing. A lot of it is because they are not monitored – and the structure is not there. They are not mentally and emotionally capable of making those well-informed decisions on their own yet.” At Hilton Head Prep, Jeff spoke to high school students about the importance of goals and staying on track and “in purpose,” using the goal-setting success stories from two students as examples for the group. “I talked about how life can knock you down, but you get back up,” he said. At breakfast, Jeff and Hilton Head Prep staff – Tina Webb Browning, Upper School Head – discussed the climate, culture and growth of the school. According to its website, Hilton Head Prep is “a strong, diverse, rigorous and innovative independent school that showcases its values and Hilton Head Island to the world.” 16 countries are represented in its student body. Later, Jeff spoke to the junior class specifically about leadership, social media and making the best of their senior year. “We wrapped up the day doing a 35-minute assembly with the middle school kids,” he said. “I kept that really simple about respecting yourself, having a good attitude and making the right choices.” 25 years in, and the Jeff Yalden Experience continues to inspire and empower young people everywhere. “I love what I do,” he said. NEXT UP: Des Moines, Iowa – Abraham Lincoln High School.

The Largest Tech Campus in Illinois invites Jeff to speak to 1600 Students

October 20, 2016 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

On October 18, 2016, the largest high school tech campus invited Jeff Yalden to speak to their 1600 plus teenagers. Lake County High Schools Tech Campus in Grayslake, IL is one of the best campuses that Jeff has visited. Jeff was amazing with the quality of programs, the staff, and most important the teens he got to inspire. Jeff did three one hour sessions with 500+ in each group at the Lake County College Campus. What a day! Enjoy the video.

The OFFICIAL SITE to Americas #1 Youth Motivational Speaker!