You Matter . . . IT Doesn’tI got on ZOOM about five minutes before our time of 12:00pm, April 1, 2020. No, this is not an April fools joke. By the way, I don’t like April fools. I said to Bobby, “Bobby, excited to speak with you. Tell me a couple things on your heart that you want to talk about today?” I knew right away if he gave me a couple things, I’d have questions from listening to his wisdom and passion. Right away, Bobby mentioned his book, YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T. He said, “I want to talk about the WHY behind the IT. Great conversation I thought to myself because I knew exactly where he was thinking with this and it’s right up my ally. I composed myself and started with a prayer . . .
A Talk Show is BORN!
During this interview with Bobby Petrocelli I thought, “I need to do a YouTube Channel on inspiring conversations, and here we are. Just like that the show is created. Now to figure out how to make a YouTube Talk Show.I’ll figure that out because right now, nothing much is happening and I have the time while we struggle with social isolation, schools closed, and being out of work. It’s during times like this where you have time to create new ideas that might take off. We can choose victim or victor, right? I love Bobby Petrocelli. He’s a great man and an amazing speaker I have known for many years. When I get a chance to interview him . . . I get excited myself. He’s an inspiration. Knowledgeable. He’s a man of God. He cares about youth and families. He cares about people. www.10Seconds.org
IT HAPPENED . . .What is IT? The IT represents the result of something. Bobby talked about his wife being killed by a drunk driver when he was 24 years old. The IT is his wife was killed by a drunk driver. The WHY is what we don’t often talk about. The IT leaves us angry, hurt, resentful, and broken amongst other feelings. We end up going through life carrying this feeling because we don’t move past IT.
WHY did IT HappenThe WHY is behind the WHAT, the IT, and gives us the answers we are looking for so we can move forward in coping with whatever it is we are coping with. The WHY takes us on a journey to understand what needs to be understood. If we don’t ask questions we are never healed through whatever pain we are going through. IT happened and we can’t change it, but we can change how we grow, cope, and move forward in a healthy way. For Bobby, he was prepared as much as anyone can prepare for something tragic like this. He said, “If we don’t ask the WHY then IT will dominate your life,” and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Bobby is a man of faith. A strong man of God. He right away talked about forgiveness. He didn’t say that he condones when someone does something wrong or condone any wrongdoing. Forgiveness is for you and he knew that he had to forgive this man who was two times the legal limit of driving while intoxicated when his wife was killed. Forgiveness was his first step in recovery. Amazing. He’s 24 years old and he knew he had to forgive. I asked him about this attitude at 24 when most people would be angry at the world. He wasn’t. This is where Bobby said, “I had been prepared for something like this . . . ” I am not sure what exactly that meant, because who can prepare, but I knew it was his faith in God. It was also his ability to have a growth mindset and not a fixed mindset growing up and even today. I’m telling you, Bobby Petrocelli is an inspirational man.
Is What You’re Being Asked to do IMPOSSIBLE?He made this comment and asked the question as he said he asks his audience. “You have it, whatever it is, so let’s build on it.” Bobby talked about how we have what it takes so let’s learn, be open to learning, and engage in the process everyday. I was thinking, don’t be the victim, be the victor. We have a lot in common, but he’s so much better at speaking about it. You’re never asked to do anything impossible, but when asked to do something you can choose to quit and walk away or you can choose to saddle up the boot straps and figure it out.
10 SecondsIT happened. IT happened and he wasn’t going to fold. What got him through this time? 10 Seconds.
“It’s not one day at a time, like so many people say. For me, I couldn’t think of the next five minutes. I had to break it down to 10 Seconds. For me it was 10 Seconds at a time.”When I was at my worst at 16 years old and 22 years old I can still remember those days. At 16 I wasn’t listening to anyone. Fixed mindset. At 22 years old I knew a little better and was very close to my grandparents. My grandmother used to say to me, “Jeff, take it one meal at a time. After dinner, go to bed, and just wake up for breakfast.” That was my 10 Seconds at a time. The thing here that I want to make clear is that it’s not that things get better with time, but it’s what you do with that time where things get better. Sometimes, it’s just putting space between a thought and an action. It’s being grounded, present in the moment, breathing, and just knowing that it will be okay.
Success: Patterns, Habits, and RoutinesNobody is better than anyone else, but some people have a routine and they’re driven. They wake up on time as they go to bed too at a set time. They don’t waste time on their smartphones doing things that don’t matter. Successful people have a purpose. Their IT is their success. They’ve created patterns, habits, and a routine to accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves. What is the WHY? Who knows exactly what their WHY is or how they got to it, but one thing is certain . . . Everyone has been knocked down in life. You have a choice at this point. You can stay knocked down or you can get back up. Bobby got back up and he knew he needed some things in his life to be right for him to cope through this loss. You are a result of your patterns, habits, routines, attitude, friends, and commitment to GROWTH MINDSET.
Your Friends are The ROOTS, LEAVES, or the BRANCHESI got chills when Bobby started talking about Tyler Perry’s Madea – Let Them Go. I love this skit and it is so right. Your friends are either the roots, the leaves, or the branches. Watch the video and understand this analogy. So true.
What Works For YouFirst thing is engage in the process. Choose a growth mindset. Don’t be a victim. Go from the IT happened to understanding the WHY it happened. Then, it’s HOW CAN I . . .? How can I be better at this or that? How can I be a better person? How can I move forward with love, compassion, forgiveness, and be more healthy? It’s about being present in moments. Now. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Not even in five minutes, but here and now. Within these moments what are you doing productive that works best for you? “Is what I am doing making me better or hurting me?“, Bobby said. For Bobby it was the moments where he would ask if what he was doing was helping or hurting him towards a healthy outcome. He set a mindset and here are the bullets I took from this part of the conversation:
- Be still
- You’re One of a Kind
- Don’t Rob Yourself
- Find Those Roots on a Tree as a Friends