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The Speed of Hurt

May 11, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

Teens experience pain as fast as the flip of a switch – and the speed of hurt hits them as swiftly as turning on a light.

Often, terrible situations can lead to teen suicide – but we need to be vigilant when observing changes – even small changes – in the behavior of the young people in our circles. Sometimes, events that an adult might brush off as part of the process of daily life might be viewed as catastrophic by a teen – simply because they do not yet have the coping skills in place to deal with them.

The inability to cope with life’s challenges can be a major stumbling block for today’s youth – particularly because they do not yet possess the life skills necessary to deal with the obstacles and challenges they might face.

As a society, we have hit critical mass – and we need to start talking about it. We need to get comfortable being uncomfortable and give voice to the issues facing us; teen suicide, the opiate crisis and substance abuse in general, including alcohol.

The above issues factor into what is quickly becoming the biggest public health crisis of our time. While many factors contribute to teen suicide, often the underlying issue is mental illness.

It is rare that only a single event leads to suicide – bullying or cyberbullying, for instance. But a single event can be the final straw.

As a parent, teacher, or coach, be sure to focus on building strong coping and problem-solving skills in your young people. Nurture a healthy self-esteem, and they will flourish.

If your children value themselves from a place of certainty, they will be much less likely to allow others to have power over them, including bullies.

Life is not a race. It’s about being patient in the process.

Slow down. Breathe.

Perfection doesn’t exist, but I’d still like to think I can make a perfect rack of ribs.

NOTE: The above content is Part Seven in a series based on Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic. Click on link to order.

CLICK HERE for Jeff’s online suicide prevention course.

Filed Under: Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Bullying, Coping Skills, Jeff Yalden. Mental Health Speaker, Self-Esteem, Teen Suicide Prevention, Yalden

Rochester & Rochester Hills School Communities

May 8, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

 

Thank you for having me speak to day.

Here are some references for you all:

The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. – Please Consider a Donation

  • The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc., a 501c3 Non-Profit Foundation for Teen Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. (Click Here)

The Daily Motivation from Jeff Yalden (Subscription Based but FREE to join the mailing list)

  • Sign up for Jeff Yalden . . . The Daily Messenger (Click Here)
  • Or on the Website (Click Here)

Today’s Presentation:

  • Power Point Slides: May 8, 2020 Presentation (PDF Rochester Communities PowerPoint)

Jeff Yalden (Email)

Website: (Click Here)

FREE Books:

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19 28 Day Boot Camp for Teens Workbook

Motivational Posters:  Posters Motivational+PDF’s+2019

The Jeff Yalden Foundation: The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. Donate

FREE Link School Community Teen Suicide Prevention Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/access32545464/9a6d8752c7c

FREE Meditation Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/optin1586289965594

Teen & Family Life Coach: https://jeffyalden.com/teen-life-coach/

 Teen Suicide Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K2M6QCB

Best of Jeff Yalden Videos: 

  • TEDx Talk – https://youtu.be/nP_xXPvJctI
  • Tippicanoe Valley High School – https://youtu.be/rpfVjoYAgik
  • Barnard, MO – https://youtu.be/KAKnjeFyRR0
  • High School Speaker: (Click Here)
  • High School Motivational Speaker Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Mental Health & Suicide Prevention in High School: (Click Here)
  • Teachers and Staff Speaker: (Click Here)
  • Teacher Staff Development Playlist Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Suicide Behaviors & Responding in Crisis: (Click Here)
  • Why Teens Self-Harm: (Click Here)
  • Reference Letters (Click Here)
  • Jeff’s Brochure (Click Here)

Visit Jeff Yalden University for More Courses for Teens and Families (Click Here)

Rochester and Rochester Hills, MI – Teen Suicide Prevention and Teen Mental Health Talk by Jeff Yalden

Filed Under: Anxiety, BOOM, BOOM 28-Day Boot Camp, Depression, For Parents, Gratitude, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Rochester, Rochester Hills, Suicide Prevention, teen depression, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide

Why Teens Need a Mental Health Life Coach

April 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden speaks to teens one on one everywhere he goes.

Your teen needs a Teen Life Coach and a Mental Health Life Coach for support and encouragement. Consider Jeff Yalden. He’s been that trusted teen life coach for many years.
Growing up teen today is harder than it has ever been.
Parenting is harder than it’s ever been too, and that is why teens need a Mental Health Life Coach. Parents can use a coach that understands teens as well.

As a Youth Motivational Speaker & Coach, Jeff Hears Their Cries

Pressures of being a teen today are overwhelming. The mental well-being of our teens is seriously being compromised.
Jeff sees it everyday in his talks with teens and school communities. High School Assemblies with youth motivational speaker Jeff Yalden are 15 hours and in that time he meets one on one with many teens requesting to speak to him personally.
After his high school assemblies students line up to talk about life, their family struggles, abuse, brokenness, loss, fear, anxiety, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed and more.
A personal conversation with Jeff and teens feel they can trust in him to share their heart.
Visit Jeff’s Website

Why Teens want to speak to Jeff Yalden

For so many reasons, teens are afraid to talk, including but not limited to:
  • They’re afraid you’re going to try and fix it
  • They’re afraid you’re going to judge them
  • You’re going to tell them they’re overreacting
  • You don’t understand the pressure of being a teen
  • You’re not going to take them seriously
  • They’re afraid of being a burden
  • They can’t figure out how they’re feeling themselves
  • They feel you won’t value their feelings, thoughts, and emotions
So what do teens do? They isolate themselves trying to figure it all out and it becomes too overwhelming.

Teens don’t trust adults

Sounds crazy, but it’s true and that is why they’re not reaching out to their trusted adults. Ask many teens who their trusted adult is and they’ll tell you they don’t have one. Scared, isolated, and teens feel alone and a disappointment. They’re not speaking because they are afraid to burden their closest adults with their problems. They know how stressful life is for you that they don’t want to overwhelm you with their problems.
“I wanted to say “Thank You” for letting me thing that I do belong here and I am special. I am loved and that I don’t need to end it all to get what I want.I will never forget everything you said to everyone.” – Student, OH

Two Questions Teens Need Answered

VbSzbvllRIy7GyUtwkeYhgIf you’re going to connect and be able to get the trust and respect from your teens you have to answer these two questions:
  • Can I trust you?
  • Do you care about me?
You can’t just say, “I’m the parent. Of course they know they can trust me.” Not so fast. How do you show it? How do they know?
Teens don’t walk in the house from school and say, “Mom and dad, I’ve had a bad day. Can we talk?“
They go to their room just wishing you would come through the door and listen to their heart without saying a word. Just listen.
In isolation their minds are left thinking the worst.
You spell LOVE: T-I-M-E. TIME and being non-judgmental when you’re listening.

Teen Pressures are Overwhelming

With all the pressures: social media, school, friends, their future, and the expectations, teens are overwhelmed. Their mental health is being compromised and teens don’t know how to cope.
Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden

Mental Health Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden reaches students.

Major concerns such as self-harm, depression, and maybe even suicidal ideation if teens don’t ask for help or parents don’t advocate for their child.
A teen mental health life coach helps your teen navigate the process of life by listening and offering practical tips and advice. Having this teen life coach will lead to self-value, self-respect, and a confidant they can talk to without judgement.
It’s extremely important to have a mental health life coach to help deal with everyday challenges for teens.
Someone that understands them and can help them navigate the process of life in a calm, non-reactionary, balanced journey; giving them practical tips and advice.

Teen Suicide: Is your Teen Next?

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After a suicide, Jeff meets with students and friends and gives them permission to talk and feel while leading them in on a healthy and positive path to closure and acceptance.

Jeff Yalden is an expert on teen mental health and teen suicide.
Teen Suicide has been and continues to be an epidemic in school communities everywhere.
You may have heard about the show “13 Reasons Why” that tells the story of how a teen girl takes her own life after experiencing many traumatic experiences.
Many mixed views about the show.  Some feel like the show provides a valuable opportunity for discussion about bullying and teen suicide.
On the other side of the spectrum are those that feel the show glorifies suicide and shows that it is an easy option.
Regardless of what you think, Jeff says the show is popular because it is a conversation teens are having.  Suicide is a thought and that is why teens are paying attention.  For this reason, Jeff says as a parent you should be watching the show because your teen is probably watching it themselves.
The show triggers with teens and their emotions.  Pay attention and do something.

Two Reasons Teens Want to End Their Lives

There are two specific reasons teens start thinking about wanting to end their lives.
  1. They feel alone
  2. They feel they’re a disappointment
What comes next if they’re not asking for help is self-harm. Heed the warning signs and take all signs seriously.

Teens are in a Vulnerable and Emotional State

Teen Mental Health Life Coach Jeff YaldenThe years of being a teen are very stressful and although as parents you’ve been through it, it just isn’t the same.
This is one of the reasons why teens need a mental health life coach they can talk to weekly or bi-monthly.
A teen life coach that can teach them skills that will help them deal with everyday life stressors. A teen life coach that gives them tools o they can add to their toolbox.
As a teen life coach, Jeff spends a lot of time teaching coping skills and problem solving skills.

Teens in Therapy

Jeff feels strongly that professional counseling is a great place for teens.
Teens don’t trust in adults, especially counselors and don’t feel they need therapy. A teen life coach having been through the journey of mental health counseling can really help your teen with understanding what counseling is.
You can’t just say to a teen, “You need therapy.“
Therapy is a process and Jeff works with his clients to help them understand the benefits of therapy and perhaps medication, if that is needed.
Teens trust in Jeff because he stays on their side and explains how it all works. Jeff validates their feelings and thoughts but shows the benefits of giving professional counseling a try and sticking to it.
In the process of working with a teen life coach make sure that this teen life coach knows enough about mental health in teens.  Also, this teen life coach understands their boundaries between a teen life coach and professional therapist.
The two can easily work together. Jeff specializes in working with the client and another therapist. Jeff says, “We both have our strengths and I don’t interfere with the therapist at all.” Working together it’s a win-win situation.

13 Reasons why a Teen Mental Health Life Coach is Right for Your Teen

1. Social Media and Teens:

The overwhelming amount of time being on Social Media. More time on social media is more time isolating yourself from the world. Isolation is toxic.
18If your teen is spending 4-5 or more hours on social media platforms they’re 70% more likely to have major depression in their life.
Jeff Yalden can assist you as a parent with explaining what social media and the dopamine effect are doing to teens.

2.Mandated Testing in Schools:

The anxiety and pressure teens are facing with tests is overwhelming and causing a lot of stress.  Teens think today that if they’re not perfect what is the point.
The expectations teens feel they’re not reaching are coming from school, parents, themselves, and keeping up with their friends.
Your teen needs help managing the anxiety that comes with this overwhelming pressure. A teen life coach teaches helpful tools to manage this anxiety in order to be more successful in school and in life.
Here is a FREE Introduction Course on Meditation from Jeff.

3. Bullying and Cyberbullying

Youth Motivational Speaker Jeff YaldenTeen suicide is rarely the cause of one thing such as bullying. Bullying can be the straw that breaks the camels back, but today, Jeff will tell you that bullying or cyberbullying can certainly be the cause of a teen suicide completion or attempt.
Absolutely!
Kids are mean and this occurs in school, on social media, and a lot of the time at home.
It’s very rare for a teen to never experience being bullied by the time they have graduated from high school.
Having a teen life coach can teach skills to help your teen handle the bullying and even prevent bullying from happening to them.  Teens also need these skills to help them realize when they are being the bully and how not to get in that situation.
While most schools have anti-bullying programs in place the students don’t take them seriously and sometimes these programs give new opportunities for bullying to occur.

4. Divorce and Family Issues

Family issues and blended families is more normal amongst teens and their friends. Too many of our teens have these feelings they are the cause of the tension in the family or the reason for the divorce.
Family issues are very emotional for the teen. Maybe more so than for the parents.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen find emotional resilience and manage the big picture, the change, and how to take this one day at a time without getting caught up in the brokenness.
If your child doesn’t talk to someone and express their thoughts and feelings the pain will manifest into behavior that leads to further problems, anxiety, depression, and maybe suicidal ideation.

5.  Peer Pressure

Imagine the pressure you feel as an adult trying to keep up with family, friends, and co-workers.
Teens need to learn how to follow their own personal course and to enjoy getting to know who they are and not trying to live in other people shoes.
Having a teen life coach can help your teen make decisions for themselves where they take pride in who they are and the course of their own life.

6. Sexual abuse

Being abused sexually is more common than you’d imagine.  According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), teens account for 51% of all reported sexual abuse and female victims of teen sexual abuse while in grades 9-12 are more likely than others to experience eating disorders, suicidal ideation, pregnancy, and risky sexual behaviors.
A teen life coach will give your teen the consistent coaching that can help your teen know the difference between being where they should be and where they should not be, but more importantly having the confidence to say, “NO.”
Your teen needs to understand how and where sexual abuse occurs and if it’s happened a teen life coach can help them process and be comfortable talking to their parents and professional help as it’s the right thing to do.

7.  Alcohol and Drugs: Self-Medicating

Too many of our teens are vaping, drinking, and experiencing with pills. It’s become a Teen Life Coach says every teen needs a trust adult in their life.norm for too many teens today and they’re not taking it seriously.
George Mason University says this culture of alcohol drinking can lead to higher rates of teen sex, teen pregnancy, date rape, violence, and illegal activity.
Teens believe it is not a big deal to drink alcohol, because everyone does it, even their parents.
Alcohol becomes a go-to for stress and anxiety.  Self-medicating.
A teen life coach can help with coping skills and problem solving skills on how to deal with anxiety, stress, and everyday problems.

8. The Maturity of a Teen’s Brain

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain where emotional control, impulse restraint and rational decision-making take place.  According to Dr. David Walsh, this part of the brain does not fully mature until around the age of 25 and this is why many teenagers do not practice “good judgment” in difficult situations.

9.  Teens Don’t Like Talking to Adults

Again, Jeff says you have to earn their respect and trust and it takes time.
Teen Life Coach, Jeff Yalden saves a teen and visits her a year later.

One of the most memorable moments of Jeff’s career as a teen life coach was this young lady and the two years of saving her life.

Teens withdraw from parents and spend more time alone or with their friends. Isolation is toxic and our teens are spending too much time alone or with their friends asking the questions they should be asking an adult.
Having a teen life coach in your teens life can help them make good decisions and guide them through the tough times they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or counselors about.

10. Drama . . . Drama . . . Drama

Drama causes a lot of ups and downs and happens daily in a teens life.
One day your teen is best friends with someone and the next day she is not.
Hateful are said to each other and rumors can be spread.  This can lead to bullying and depression.
Your teen needs to have a mentor to show them the bigger picture.  When it comes to friends a teen life coach can help your teen use their inner judgement in making good decisions when it comes to the friends that matter and to the friends that are acquaintances.

11. The Future Decisions

Life Coach for TeensThe future is a huge stress factor for high school students in junior and senior year of high school.
If your teen is in a competitive high school environment it’s even worse.  If your teen doesn’t get into a good school they’ll feel a disappointment to themselves and their parents.
Teens feel the pressure to know what they want to do as a career as early a 9th grade.
They get confused from all of the pressure from parents, friends, teachers, and media.
A teen life coach can help teen your teen make these decisions by asking questions that make the most sense to them and what they want in their life.

12. The feelings of being Alone and a Disappointment

Most teens feel alone and a disappointment.  Teens are becoming more independent and trying to figure out what their purpose in life is, who their friends are, and what they are good at.
As they are learning more about themselves they may have moments of feeling left out or like they are different than everyone else.
Teen Life Coaches can help a teens understand that we are all connected and here for different reasons.  Teens are wondering what their purpose is and a teen life coach can help guide them in the right direction while supporting and encouraging them in their journey.

13.  They’re Influences such as Television and the Internet

Teens are influenced everyday and everything is influential to a teen who is easily impressionable.
Suicide contagion is real.  Television shows like “13 Reasons Why” was very impressionable on millions of teens.
Teens need a life coach to know that suicide is a permanent action to a situation that is temporary.
By you giving your teen a life coach, someone to talk to and trust in on a consistent basis you are giving your teen a trusted mentor to teach important life-saving tools that will help your teen gain a healthy mind in order to live a happy and successful life with meaning and purpose.
Consider a teen life coach for your teen today, by visiting Jeff Yalden: Teen Life Coach and Teen Mental Health Expert.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, For Parents, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Success, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Counseling, Education, High School Motivational Speaker, Inspirational, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health Coach, Motivational, preventing teen suicide, Schools, Speakers on Depression, Teen Communicator, teen depression, Teen Life Coach, Teen Mental Health, Teen Speaker, Teen Suicide, Teen Suicide Experts, teenage depression, Teens, Youth, Youth Speaker

Inspiring Conversations: Ep.1 – Bobby Petrocelli

April 1, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

You Matter . . . IT Doesn’t

I got on ZOOM about five minutes before our time of 12:00pm, April 1, 2020. No, this is not an April Fools’ Day joke. By the way, I don’t like April Fools’ jokes. I was excited to speak with fellow author, speaker and educator Bobby Petrocelli. I asked him to tell me a couple of things on his heart that he might want to talk about that day.

Bobby Petrocelli is passionate and wise, and I knew I’d have questions.

Right away, Bobby mentioned his book, YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T. He told me he wanted to talk about the WHY behind the IT. I knew where he was going with this because it’s right up my alley. I composed myself and started with a prayer…

A Talk Show is BORN!

During my interview with Petrocelli, it dawned on me that I needed to do a YouTube channel dedicated to inspiring conversations, and here we are. Just like that, the show is created. Now I just need to figure out how to make a YouTube talk show.

This is a good time to figure it out, because nothing much is happening, and I have time. The COVID-19 pandemic has us all struggling with social isolation. Schools are closed, many people are out of work and obviously my speaking schedule is on hold.

It’s during times like this where you have time to create new ideas that might take off. We can choose victim or victor, right? I love Bobby Petrocelli. He’s a great man and an amazing speaker. We’ve known each other for many years.  When I get a chance to interview him, I get excited. He’s inspiring and knowledgeable. He’s a man of God and cares about youth and families. He cares about people.

Find out more about Bobby HERE.

IT HAPPENED . . .

What is IT?

The IT represents the result of something. Bobby talked about his wife being killed by a drunk driver when he was 24 years old. The IT is his wife was killed by a drunk driver. The WHY is what we don’t often talk about. Among other things, the IT leaves us angry, hurt, resentful, and broken. We end up going through life carrying this feeling because we don’t move past IT.

WHY did IT Happen?

The WHY is behind the IT and gives us the answers we are looking for so we can move forward and cope with whatever happened. The WHY takes us on a journey to understand what needs to be understood. If we don’t ask questions, we are never healed through whatever pain we are going through. IT happened and we can’t change it, but we can change how we grow, cope, and move forward in a healthy way. For Bobby, he was prepared as much as anyone can prepare for something tragic like this. He said, “If we don’t ask the WHY then IT will dominate your life,” and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Bobby is a man of faith – a strong man of God. Right away he right away talked about forgiveness…

He didn’t say that he condones wrongdoing.

Forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving. He knew that he had to forgive this man who was two times the legal limit, driving while intoxicated when his wife was killed. Forgiveness was his first step in recovery. Amazing! He was 24 years old and he knew he had to forgive, when most people would have been angry at the world.

Bobby wasn’t.

I asked him about this.

“I had been prepared for something like this,” he said.  I’m not exactly sure what Bobby meant, because who can prepare for something so tragic – but I knew it was his faith in God. It was also his ability to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset – even at 24. I’m telling you; Bobby Petrocelli is an inspirational man.

Is What You’re Being Asked to do IMPOSSIBLE?

The above question is something Bobby asks his audiences.

“You have it, whatever it is, so let’s build on it,” he said.

Bobby talked about how we have what it takes so let’s learn. Let’s be open to learning and engage in the process every day. I was thinking, don’t be the victim, be the victor. We have a lot in common, but he’s so much better at speaking about it.

You’re never asked to do anything impossible. You can choose to walk away, or you can choose to saddle up and figure it out.

Petrocelli: 10 Seconds

IT happened, but Bobby was not going to fold.

10 Seconds got him through this.

“It’s not one day at a time, like so many people say. For me, I couldn’t think of the next five minutes. I had to break it down to 10 Seconds. For me it was 10 Seconds at a time.”

I was at my worst at 16 and again at 22. I can still remember those days.

At 16, I wasn’t listening to anyone. I had a fixed mindset. At 22, I knew a little better and was very close to my grandparents. My grandmother used to say to me, “Jeff, take it one meal at a time. After dinner, go to bed, and just wake up for breakfast.”

That was my 10 Seconds at a time. The thing here that I want to make clear is that it’s not that things get better with time, but it’s what you do with that time where things get better. Sometimes, it’s just putting space between a thought and an action. It’s being grounded, present in the moment, breathing and just knowing that it will be okay.

Success: Patterns, Habits, and Routines

Nobody is better than anyone else, but some people have a routine and they’re driven. They wake up on time because they go to bed at a set time. They don’t waste hours on their smartphones, doing things that don’t matter. Successful people have a purpose. Their IT is their success. They’ve created patterns, habits and a routine to accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves.

What is the WHY? That differs from person to person, but one thing is certain: Everyone has been knocked down in life. You have a choice at this point. You can stay knocked down or you can get back up.

Bobby got back up. He knew he needed some things in his life to be right in order for him to cope through his loss.

You are a result of your patterns, habits and routines – your attitude, friends, and commitment to a GROWTH MINDSET.

Your Friends are The ROOTS, LEAVES, or the BRANCHES

I got chills when Bobby started talking about Tyler Perry’s Madea – Let Them Go.

I love this skit and it is so right. Your friends are either the roots, the leaves, or the branches. Watch the video and understand this analogy. So true.

What Works For You

The first thing to do is to engage in the process. Choose a growth mindset. Don’t be a victim. Go from IT happened to understanding WHY it happened. Then, it’s HOW CAN I . . .? How can I be better at this or that? What can I do to be can I be a better person? How can I move forward with love, compassion, forgiveness, and be healthier? It’s about being present in moments. Now. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Not even in five minutes, but here and now.  Within these moments, what productive thing are you doing that works best for you?

Bobby puts it this way: “Is what I am doing making me better or hurting me?”

For Petrocelli, that question made all the difference, and helped him toward a healthy outcome. it was the moments where he would ask if what he was doing was helping or hurting him towards a healthy outcome. He set a growth mindset.

Here are the very simple and true bullets I took from this part of my conversation with Petrocelli:

  • Be still
  • You’re One of a Kind
  • Don’t Rob Yourself
  • Find Those Roots on a Tree as a Friends

Very simple and true.

Be Still

Be present and know that in stillness great things will happen.

You’re One of a Kind

Self-Esteem. Stop focusing on being beautiful on the outside and look within yourself and know you are one of a kind. There is nothing or nobody else like you.

Don’t Rob Yourself

You have a gift and you need to use it. Don’t let what is so special about you be robbed because you’re not seeing what is special. Self-esteem again. Know you are capable and beautiful and have a growth mindset.

Find the ROOTS on a TREE as your Friends

You want friends that aren’t there for a season. You want friends in your life that are invested. Surround yourself with people who are there to plant seeds rather than pick the fruit. Let them go if they’re not in your life for the right reasons.

Remember: YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T.

There is a WHY to why we are broken, rejected, abandoned, or hurt. Don’t choose to carry this pain with you through life. Develop a growth mindset. Figure out the WHY and ask the HOW questions.

Remember, forgiveness is for you. It’s not for them.

Choose love. Choose you. Choose Growth.

Check out Bobby Petrocelli at www.10Seconds.org. As always, I am at www.JeffYalden.com.

Filed Under: High Schools, Inspiring Conversations, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Success Tagged With: 10 Seconds, Bobby Petrocelli, Control, High School Motivational Mental Health Speaker, High School Motivational Speaker, High School Speaker, Inspiration, Inspirational, Inspiring Conversations, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Motivation, Motivational, Motivational Speaker, School, Schools, Teen Motivational Speaker, Teens, Yalden, Youth, Youth Motivational Speaker, Youth Speaker

MENTAL ILLNESS: THE GREATEST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS OF OUR TIME?

January 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part three of a series of principles based on Jeff new new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.
Yalden - Talking to Teen.png

We can no longer sweep mental illness under the carpet…

Teen suicide and the opioid crisis are crippling communities on a scale we have never seen. We have major issues on our hands that point to an underlying component of mental illness – and if the stigma surrounding mental illness leads to under-reported suicides, who is to say that an overdose isn’t a suicide? A death certificate might attribute the cause of a death to suicide, but oftentimes we have no idea about intent.

According to USA Today, more than 175 Americans die daily of drug overdoses – which is greater than the number of teens to make the forever decision to take their lives.

What do we do, then? Can we sit idly by and hope the government will step up and do something, or can we empower ourselves by coming up with our own solutions…

Coming up with the answers ourselves seems like a much better idea.

We all need to step up, and that goes double if we are parents. We need to be present – ready and willing to talk about the issues facing our kids in this complicated world.

Yalden - Teen Suicide - Cover.jpg

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that some 300 million people worldwide are affected by depression. That number proves that depression is the most common mental health issue – and depression can be the catalyst that leads people to suicide.

Depression falls under the umbrella of mental illness – and if any diagnosis related to mental illness is ignored or left untreated, a quality life of joy and happiness could be very difficult. Is this you?

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Approximately 44,000 Americans die by suicide every year. One person out of 25 who attempt suicide will succeed.

As if the above heartbreaking statistics weren’t enough, suicide takes a heavy toll on the national economy. The Education Development Center at Brandeis University cited research putting the national cost of suicide at $58.4 billion based on reported numbers alone (much of this represented by lost productivity) – but determined that the cost has been significantly underestimated.

“The researchers calculated that the annual public cost of suicide attempts and suicides in the United States is approximately $93.5 billion—nearly twice previously thought. Their study appears in Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, the official journal of the American Association of Suicidology.”

Our teens are suffering, and the number of teen deaths by suicide is rising. It is truly a public health crisis.

Paying close attention to teen mental health is the new normal for us. We – parents, teachers, school staff, coaches and administrators – need to accept this and understand the responsibility we all have.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, call 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, Teen Suicide

Mental Illness: Breaking the Stigma

January 13, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

OUR SCHOOLS AND MENTAL HEALTH

This blog post is the second in a series based on the principles from my book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

In part one of this series, I talked about eliminating the stigma attached to teen suicide and mental illness. I believe that by talking openly about these issues, we are making enormous progress in this regard. We are beginning to shine a light in the darkness, and we need to get comfortable about being uncomfortable and continuing the conversation.

Your fear of the stigma is part of the illness. 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.”

Yes – the stigma is real. The student living with mental illness believes from experience that others won’t be understanding or empathetic about their mental illness. This impacts their desire to ask for the help they know they need. The threat of stigma coupled with the effort to avoid being labeled are so powerful that more than half of the people who would benefit from mental health services never even obtain an initial interview with a professional.

If you are a teen and are suffering, I encourage you to set aside what you believe to be the stigma and reach out to a trusted adult at your school. You will be glad you did.

Schools can be a great resource and most teachers and counselors care deeply about all of their students. Administrators and other key staff are trusted adults and can point you in the right direction with contacts of support in the community.

Sometimes the young people we need to worry about are not necessarily on the school’s radar. Right now, there are students who are silently struggling with mental illness – and they are hesitant to come forward because of the stigma.

This needs to stop. We need to get past this reluctance to come forward.

We are all responsible for this. The more we talk about mental health, the more we demystify the stereotypes. The more comfortable we become, the more people may realize that this is a very serious situation in our country.

Yalden - Teen Suicide - Cover.jpg

THE BOTTOM LINE 

More than ever, teens need adult guidance to understand the emotional and physical changes they experience. When teenagers’ moods disrupt their ability to function on a day-to-day basis, this may indicate a serious emotional or mental disorder that needs attention.

Act immediately. Do something. Getting help is OK…

Mental illness is an economic issue and along with raging opioid addiction, it’s becoming the greatest public health crisis of our time.

We must take responsibility and actively work to eliminate the stigma. Talk about mental illness. Talk about teen suicide. It’s OK to share our thoughts and our feelings. It’s OK to be vulnerable.

We need to be present and in tune with what others around us might be going through. We need to work on our emotional intelligence in order to pick up on the cues we might not otherwise notice from others.

When we break the stigma, more people will be comfortable asking for help. Do it for each other. Do it for yourself, your family and your community.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Breaking Stigma, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health Speaker, Mental Illness, School Communities, Schools, Teen Suicide

A Conversation with Isabella

November 27, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

One of the greatest things about my work as a youth motivational speaker is that I get to plant seeds, give hope and inspire young people. One of the most challenging things is that sometimes I get to help, but I might not know the end result of the work I do. Thankfully, I know the end result when it comes to my friend Isabella, whom I had the chance to talk to a year after I met her. She is now 18 and has granted me permission to make the VIDEO included with this post. Last year when I met with her at her school, we made a decision together – and Isabella did the work. What broke my heart then was that we had to put her into an ambulance alone for a ride to a hospital more than an hour away. But when I recently returned to the school community, I couldn’t wait to hear about how she is doing now – and I want to share that progress with you. I’m a fan.
The following is an edited transcript of the above VIDEO: YALDEN:  How are you doing, Isabella? It was a hard day a year ago… ISABELLA:  It actually was, but what was really hard was accepting that I did need the help. I went on this hurtful journey of depression and PTSD – feeling like my auntie’s death was my fault. I believed it was my fault. I believed that my mom’s sadness was my fault – and that caused me to go into a deep, deep depression. I felt like I was locked. This little girl inside me wanted to get help, but we were afraid. Jeff Yalden came to our school and was talking about mental health and how to help people – and he was the key to that lock. I came and talked to him. I told him about what I was going through, and he told me what we were going to do. At first, I was afraid. It wasn’t an exciting journey, but I needed to do it. I needed to get the help I needed. Yes, it was sad that I was going to be leaving my school and going into this hospital – but I was happy to get the help I needed. I want to thank Jeff because, even though he said I did the work – nobody would have said I needed to go and get help. It was that encouragement… YALDEN: Thank you. I couldn’t be any more grateful, appreciative or inspired – but ultimately, I never want to send someone to the hospital without them having ownership. If you don’t have ownership, you are not going to take it seriously – you are not going to be honest. What made you that day want to listen to say, “I need help…”? What made you think you were ready? ISABELLA:  Seeing my friends cry, honestly. I have one friend who he watched me through this depression. He had seen me cry and have breakdowns. I didn’t want to see him cry, nor did I want to see my mom cry. I wore a mask around here. I faked happy and pretended everything was OK – but behind closed doors, I let out all of my feelings.  I felt like my life was worthless, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. And so, that’s what gave me the ownership to say, “Jeff – I need the help…can you please help me,” and you did. I came back a year later. I did miss some school, but I got back, and I went to summer school – and now I am graduating with 30 credits.  I never really thought that I would be here – here right now in this school. I didn’t think I would live to see this day because of my depression. All I can tell you guys is – TALK! I know it’s scary to talk to a trusted adult – but honestly, it helps a lot. YALDEN – When you open up, you actually feel like there is less anxiety and you feel better, right? And you did the work despite the fear of the unknown. You pushed through and here you are on the other side. Can you give kids – 17 and 18 – permission that it’s OK to talk? If you have pain in your heart, what you don’t speak out, you end up acting out. And we can’t help if we don’t know. ISABELLA: I give permission to 17, 18 and sometimes younger than that – because it’s not just teenagers. It’s middle-schoolers and surprisingly, elementary school kids – because they ARE bullied, and words hurt. And this is pretty off-topic, but don’t bully. You really don’t know what a person is going through. They could be fighting depression. They could be fighting something else. Just don’t add onto it. Why be mean when we are all put on this earth to be kind? I don’t like to be mean. I really don’t – and to any kids who are fighting depression and feeling like they are alone – listening to that voice in their heads – you are stronger. Jeff made me see that I am stronger. That voice in my head was just a voice. I have great friends. I have an amazing mom. And I have amazing teachers – so if anyone out there is struggling and feels like they are alone – talk to a trusted adult. Talk to a teacher. Even talk to your counselor, because you need to take that first step toward getting the help you need. Trust me – the dark side? You’ll get out of it, and you will come to the bright side. It’s so beautiful here. YALDEN: you have to be willing to lose your ego and open your heart. It is hard – but it’s part of growing and not being afraid to talk and ask for help. My friends, I was so inspired to come back to this community. I want to protect her identity – but when she came up to me after the assembly this morning, I just lit up There is a great outcome on the other side. You just have got to be willing to do the work.

Teen Mental Health Speaker: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic. His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic   Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide Prevention Expert, teen depression, Teens

Bucks County Technical High School

November 12, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Youth Motivational Speaker and Teen Mental Health Speaker Plants Seeds at Bucks County Technical High School.

November 12, 2019 – The seniors are arriving into the auditorium. It’s 9 a.m. and I’m back. This auditorium is familiar. I’ve been coming to this school for more than 10 years.

Arrived Bucks County Technical High School

Kevin Gentilcore, Director of Pupil Services is my point of contact. BCTHS was once another client but seeing Mr. Gentilcore annually has become inspirational and what I look forward to now. He’s like my coach – my mentor. I love this man.

I’m out in the hallway watching the seniors come in. I hear words like, “This assembly better not be a waste of time,” which is typical from seniors with fixed mindsets. Nonetheless, I always get inspired when I hear these words from high school students.

In the hallway awaiting the seniors to arrive for the high school motivational assembly…

As a youth motivational speaker, my job is to plant seeds. I’ve learned in 28 years that planting seeds is really all I do. It’s all I have control over.

The younger, egotistical Jeff Yalden used to think he was changing the world. I’m not. I’m planting seeds. It’s more fun thinking this way too.

At 48, you’d think I was too old and can’t relate to young people anymore. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I relate more now than ever before. I’m more present and having more fun. I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I don’t need validation anymore. I care more about the teachable moment.

The seniors take their seats. Mr. Gentilcore is sitting in the back. He knows me, no introduction needed. The students don’t care about introductions. If they want to know me, they can google Jeff Yalden or find me on social media @Jeff Yalden.

Youth Motivational Speaker Needs No Introduction

Introductions make me anxious. This isn’t about me. It’s about the students in front of me.

“Let’s go!”, I think to myself. I’m ready to speak and plant seeds. I’m excited.

From the moment I start, I calculate that roughly 90 percent of the students are giving me their undivided attention. The outlying 10 percent take a minute but quickly become glued and focused.

As I am speaking and I have the attention of 350 seniors, I’m feeling seeds being planted. Words are being heard. I’m getting comfortable in front of my audience. Yes, after 28 years as a youth motivational and teen mental health speaker, I still get nervous speaking in high school assemblies.

An hour and a half later the high school assembly is over.

As the seniors exit the auditorium, I’m standing outside in the hallway in case any student wants to shake my hand and say, “Thank you!” or wants to thank me for my service as a Marine.

Students line up one by one thanking me and telling me how much my words meant to them. With each hand I shake I’m very careful to look each senior or staff member in the eyes, acknowledging that I’m appreciative that they listened. I never want a student or anybody else to walk away thinking, “Jeff Yalden doesn’t care about me.” I’m present and try hard to make sure every handshake includes eye contact, and I say, “Thank you for listening.”

They listened (growth mindset). I did what I love. I spoke to high school students in a student high school assembly. I planted seeds. I love this. It’s what I do, but they chose to listen.

Students Want To talk

It always happens that a few students want to talk privately.

Today, it was five seniors who weren’t expecting to have their emotions moved or shaken. That’s good. A lot of seniors walked out, shaking my hand saying, “Dude, you made me think today!” Good.

Two young ladies I talked to dealing with some heavy stuff. Emotions, thoughts, feelings, their future – lonely, disappointed and dealing with burdensome thoughts. These are typical conversations I have with teens.

Two Things I believe about Teens and their Upbringing

  • Don’t put teens in positions where they have no control.
  • Don’t ask teens to have to make adult decisions or to assume adult responsibilities.

I spend about 30 minutes addressing these issues before turning them over to Mr. Gentilcore, knowing he will do the right thing and bring this to the attention of the school counselor.

I am proud of these seniors for sharing. You can’t keep it in forever. It’s okay to talk and what I do is give them permission to address what they’re feeling in their heart. It’s part of planting the seeds I’m talking about.

I also quickly met with three boys who wanted to thank me. They told me how impactful my words were. Pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Why Teens Don’t Open Up

Teens need a trusted and significant adult in their lives, but very few actually have one in place to help guide them through life’s sometimes choppy waters. This is alarming, it’s very common today. This should be concerning to adults who have teens in their lives.

Teens don’t trust adults – even their teachers, counselors or parents. They’re afraid to talk and don’t know how. They’re afraid to be judged and they have built up walls.

Teens are also afraid that their thoughts and feelings will not be validated – and that the adults will only try to fix what they are going through, when they know deep down that they need to face these issues themselves.

What can our teachers, coaches and parents do to show the kids in their lives that they care? Be present. Be real. Share your story so they know you understand what they might be feeling or what they’re going through.

Teens Ask Two Questions

The two questions all teens need answers to are…

  • Can I trust you?
  • Do you care about me?

When you show up in a child’s life every day, you answer these questions whether you realize it or not – by your gestures, the way you walk and talk – by your presence and your smile. These things speak louder than words. Be mindful of the message you are sending.

So, the high school assembly at BCTHS is over. Jeff Yalden leaves the building after a hug and a THANK YOU to Mr. Kevin Gentilcore.

High School Assembly Ends

Another great visit. Another great school assembly. Another day speaking to students and PLANTING SEEDS.

Now it’s up to the seniors to do something with the seeds that were planted.

Thanks again, BCTHS. See you next year.

Who is Youth Mental Health Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders.

He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.

His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults.

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:

For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below:

Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic  

Facebook Page

School Resources

Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

39.8761553-75.2422009

Filed Under: Gratitude, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Amazon Bestselling Author, BCTHS, Best High School Motivational Speaker, Books on Teen Mental Health, Bucks County Technical High School, Campus Speakers, High School, High School Mental Health Assemblies, High School Mental Health Speaker, Jeff Yalden, Marine Veteran Motivational Speakers, Mental Health in Schools, Motivational Assembly, motivational mental health speakers, motivational speakers on mental health, school speakers, Student Government, Teen Mental Health, teen motivational speakers, youth speaker for high school students

Too Stressed and Overwhelmed

November 11, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

It was an honor to speak at a Marine Corps Ball on a Saturday night, but was it too much for someone who lives with mental illness and needs balance and boundaries?

Marine Corps 1990

 

Listen – it meant a lot to me that I was invited, and I want to do whatever I can to honor my Marine Corps. It’s been 25 years since I was honorably discharged.

Here’s the deal: I arrived home from travels close to midnight on Friday night. I had to leave my house at noon Saturday to drive the four hours to Rock Hill, SC to speak for 20 minutes and then drive home. I got back home after midnight. On Sunday, I didn’t do anything but rest – watching football and lounging on the couch all day. After the week I had, it was easy to give myself permission to do this. I was in eastern Texas at the beginning of the week and closed it out with a speaking engagement in western Washington – followed by an all-day flight home Friday.

I spoke for free at the Marine Corps Ball and didn’t expect to get paid. Let’s call that giving back. But it gets complicated when I start thinking about travel time, being busy and overwhelmed, free talks versus self-care. I speak for a living, after all.

If I think about my clients, I realize that it wasn’t fair to them to push myself and speak at the ball. I wasn’t being fair to myself either. At the end of the day, my self-care should have been more important. I need balance and boundaries in order to prioritize my life and my speaking schedule.

Today I was in the office early, knowing I had a lot of work to catch up on before I fly out to Philadelphia this evening. Mostly, I was working with my media team and taking care of the website.

The website has been a thorn in my side for the past few months. It’s outdated and needs to have all the widgets updated – but before I could do that, I needed to update the PHP. Your guess is as good as mine about what that means. It’s language that computer code geeks know. It’s code that confuses me and I don’t have the patience for it.

The website crashed when I tried to update a plug-in.  That’s more than an hour I will never get back, and that’s another reason I am transferring the hosting of the website to a new platform.

Thankfully for Charles Kirkland, my go-to guy in website marketing, he was able to help us make some sense of what we are doing and what we need to do. He was on speed dial a few times today.

Maybe I wouldn’t have stressed about this so much if I got the rest I needed – but I made the decision to speak, pro bono, at the Marine Corps Ball.

Maybe I’m too busy as a professional speaker to do motivational talks for free. I think I should reevaluate my schedule and take a good look at how many times I speak.

My Hilton Honors has me staying at a Hilton hotel 147 nights this year and it’s only November 11. That’s a lot of travel.

Teen Mental Health Motivational Speaker

It was a very stressful day, but was it really all that stressful considering what many people deal with in their lives?

Living with Mental Illness

I’m a man that lives with major depression, bipolar II disorder and PTSD. Maybe I’m making too much of this. I won’t disagree, but I do that, and it bothers me. A lot.

Why can’t I let it go and just be present and thankful I’m making progress every day? I pride myself on showing up and doing the best I can – but then my expectations are too high.

I’m confused and bothered by this stress.

Change in Medication

Another thing I need to be aware of is my change in medication. I’ve recently switched from Lexapro to Wellbutrin. I don’t know enough to think this could be the cause, but I know enough to be aware that me being on medication is important. It’s good to be reminded of this fact.

Flying off to Philadelphia

So, I’m at the airport and my flight is slightly delayed. That doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it does. I’m getting ready to board and I thought I’d throw some thoughts out on the blog instead of hiding on my social media profiles.

I think I’m going to spend this 90-minute flight to Philadelphia grateful to recognize how I am feeling and letting this go.

I’m going to spend time thankful I got to speak at the Marine Corps Ball. Whether it was a paid talk or a pro bono talk doesn’t matter. I think I need to have more boundaries and balance in my life personally and professionally. I need to focus on the tasks at hand, my time management – and know my schedule months in advance.

Saying no Is a lesson we can all learn. If we don’t say no, it’s too easy to become overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed not only do we suffer, but those we are closest to suffer as well.

Tomorrow is a New Day

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe all this could have waited one more day and I could have just been present and enjoyed today – Veterans Day!

Happy Veterans Day to myself and all my fellow veterans. Now I’m bothered I didn’t get to enjoy the day I earned because I was too stressed and overwhelmed.

I’m learning each and every day. This is just another day of living with bipolar. Today, it beat me. Tomorrow, I’m taking back control over my mental illness.

Now this: As I’m getting ready to board, the gate agent just advised us of maintenance, and we are further delayed. There was a bird strike on the plane’s final approach. It could be a lot worse, I guess. Thankfully, I’m not that bird who played chicken with an inbound plane.

Just breathe friends, just breathe.

Who is Jeff Yalden?

Teen Mental Health Motivational and Educational Consultant for School Communities and Mental Health Professionals

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders.

He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.

His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults.

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:

For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below:

Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic  

Facebook Page

School Resources

Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Anxiety, Life, Mental Health, Self-Care Tagged With: Best Youth Motivational Speaker, Marine Corps Ball, Self-Care, Stress

Jeff Yalden: 7 Rules of Life

October 30, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Mental Health Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden
The more we get to know ourselves through counseling, wisdom, experience and daily self-care, the more comfortable we are with who we are, what life means and how we live. Enjoy my seven Rules of Life and it is my hope that you find peace, love and joy in your mental and physical well-being, just as I continue to do every day:

1. Let It Go

You are only one person. You can only do so much. If you can change a situation for the better, do so. If you can’t, let it go. Show up every day and do the best you can.

2. Ignore Gracefully

Don’t participate in drama or outside noise. Don’t listen to other people who put you down or don’t believe in you or your dreams.  Ignore those who fail to validate you or are just plain rude. Live a life that is empowering to you. Be graceful in how you respond, act, speak and do. Remember, it’s their issue. Not yours. And if people walk out on you, LET THEM GO!

3. Give It Time

We’re connected 24/7, 365 days a year. Time is at a premium and there never seems to be enough of it. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Although life is about being in the moment, we must also have patience in the process of living. Perfection doesn’t exist. You matter. Perfection doesn’t matter.

4. Don’t Compare

We live in a world where everyone is trying to live a life compared to what they see on social media, and it can become an addiction. What you are accustomed to is embellished, filtered and photoshopped, depicting an image of a lifestyle that isn’t real. People are making it look like their lives are perfect and yours doesn’t measure up. Don’t get caught up in other people’s fake lives. Put the phone down and connect with people your heart to theirs.

5. Breathe & Stay Calm

It will be OK. Just breathe. Stay calm and don’t act on emotions. You don’t need to answer that email or text right now. Take time for yourself. Have balance and boundaries. Have a trusted friend that you can talk to and vent and know they’re supportive and nonjudgmental. Don’t ever be afraid to seek a counselor or therapist to learn tools for coping, communicating or problem solving. Remember, they work for you. Just breathe. It will be OK.

6. You Are Responsible

The most powerful two-letter-ten -words in the English language: “If it’s going to be, then it’s up to me.” Tough times happen. It might be your fault, or it might not – but understand this: How you move forward from anything is always your responsibility. What are you going to do? Don’t be a victim. Choose to be a victor. Don’t be bitter or angry. It does no good. Choose to be better every day. Be responsible in your behavior, your attitude and the choices you make.

7. Smile

Love will always be stronger than hate. A smile will always be better than a frown. You’ll feel the smile yourself and your smile will brighten someone else’s day. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. If you can’t find a reason to smile, try this: Choose three things you are grateful for and reflect on being appreciative. Replace expectations with appreciation and gratitude.

Life Isn’t Easy

Life isn’t all rollercoasters, unicorns and rainbows. Expectations leave us disappointed. We live in an imperfect world. Things aren’t always fair nor are they black and white. Don’t get caught up in the complications of life. You can only do or be in control of so much. This can be overwhelming when you see it all in front of you. Relax. Breathe. Simplify. At the end of the day, you can’t change people, places or things. You can control you and how you live, act, and respond to people, places, and things. Live with grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. Learn self-care and advocate for your own best mental, physical and spiritual health. Be influential. Be the light for others. As Gandhi said, “Be the change.” Live in a way you wish others can live their lives. Thanks for letting me share my 7 Rules for Life.

Teen Mental Health Motivational & Educational Consultant: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as the number one Teen Mental Health Speaker in all of North America. Jeff is a Suicide Crisis Intervention Expert and Suicide Prevention Trainer working with hundreds of school communities every year. He’s an Amazon Best Selling Author of four books, including Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic and BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day!  His podcast, Mental Health & Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on families and teens. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has traveled to 50 states and 48 countries delivering his message, “About Life.” From 2005-2011, Jeff was a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s hit realty show MADE. As a celebrity teen & family life coach, Jeff gets the heart of the matter helping teens, young adults, families, and communities in their struggles together. He’s a Gulf War Veteran and a two- time Marine-of-the-year recipient 1991-1992. He was Mr. New Hampshire Male America, 1990. Every year over 1 million people are left inspired by Jeff Yalden’s inexhaustible energy that permeates after he speaks. Jeff has an online suicide prevention course for school communities, parents, teachers, staff, and teens. Check it out HERE. For more information, please visit www.jeffyalden.com and www.thejyf.org PURCHASE Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/jeffyaldenfoundation Click HERE for school resources. Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Success Tagged With: Anxiety, best youth speakers, Depression, High School Motivational Speakers, Inspiration, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speakers, Motivation, rules to live by

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