Most of us have heard the old adage, “If you assume, you make an ASS out of YOU and ME.” It’s a staple in journalism school, but more importantly, the wrong assumption can send your mental state into a downward spiral – sometimes resulting in anger or resentment – or both. Mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden says that the ability to walk away from a situation without letting it trigger a negative emotion like anger is key to living your BOOM life. Recently, Jeff was on a plane from Charlotte, North Carolina, to Kansas City. He had a Gatorade with him, and when the flight attendant asked him if he wanted anything while in-flight, he thanked her and said he was all set. But then the warm peanuts came around, Jeff wasn’t offered any. As he mentioned in episode 61 of The BOOM Podcast, he knows this sounds almost like a non-issue, but it didn’t seem like a non-issue at the time. “When you have bipolar and anxiety, triggers like this really hit you – and by the way I love those warm peanuts you get on the plane,” he said. Even though the flight attendant also offered everyone in first class warm towel, including Jeff (which he declined), it felt weird that everybody got the warm peanuts but him. He decided not to say anything because he didn’t want to seem like a ten-year-old who didn’t get his candy – but somewhere in his emotions was the inkling that he might have done something wrong – as if the peanut exclusion was some sort of punishment. Jeff is a man who lives with mental illness every day, and he was grateful to keep his emotions in check by repeatedly telling himself to let it go, and this was not a big deal. But for something that isn’t a big deal, this perceived exclusion happens to many of us, especially on social media. Let’s say you see a post from a friend who is having a great time at an event with other friends, some of whom you know. The first thought might be that you have been excluded for some reason. You weren’t tagged, and you certainly weren’t out with them. Did you do or say something to hurt this person’s feelings? “There are little things in everyday life that can affect you, and you start wondering if you did something. My friends, sometimes we just need to let it go,” he said. To the flight attendant’s credit, maybe she took to heart what Jeff said in his first encounter with her – that he was all set. She offered him a chocolate chip cookie when the flight was about to land, but he politely declined. “Getting off the plane, she was like, ‘have a great day, sir.’” Let it go. “Don’t compare one situation to another situation,” he said. “Don’t compare your life to someone else’s life. I think sometimes when we do that, we raise our anxiety and stress us out more than we need to. If you haven’t heard from someone for a couple of hours, it’s no big deal. “We are all busy. We are all trying to work hard – but if you think that maybe you have hurt someone’s feelings – ask them.” More times than not, you will come to know that it’s not about you. To listen to this episode of The BOOM Podcast, go HERE. Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.
In Episode 60 of The BOOM Podcast, mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden encourages you to bring the BOOM into your life – whether it’s a factor or an effect – but if you can align that BOOM with a purpose, and that purpose makes you happy every day, even better. Day 14 of the “Attitude of Gratitude” series is all about purpose and fulfillment. “If you knew me when I was younger, and you would have ever thought then that I’d be doing what I’m doing now – there’s no stinkin’ way,” he said, but he added that he is proud of the work he does because it’s fulfilling, meaningful and very rewarding. Jeff said being happy personally is not the same as being happy professionally, but if you are not happy professionally, you will have a tough time feeling fulfilled. “You have got to determine whether you are happy or not, and one of the ways for happiness to be fulfilling is to do something in life that is bigger than you. Serve this world or your community or your family in a way that, every single day, you feel like you are not stressed because you are living a purpose that is so big.” Find what you are grateful for, and this can serve as a roadmap to fulfillment. Jeff shares a couple of examples of this in his life where his purpose is bigger than himself. “Carolina Forest High School here in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, had a student make that forever decision about a week ago. I sent a message to the school and I offered my prayers and thoughts. I said I was sorry, and if there was anything I could do, please let me know.” Because he reached out, Jeff was able to do presentation at the school. “I feel very fulfilled in my heart that I got to do that,” he said. He also recently spent two days in Killingly, Connecticut, where the local community lost five people in the past year. “In those two days, I had some very meaningful conversations with the student body, the counselors and social workers and the administration – and I got to talk to some students one-on-one.” He also participated in a home visit for a person whose roommate overdosed and died that very day. “We got to go to the house to just let this person know – ‘we care about you and we just want to make sure that you are OK as you go through this process over the next couple of days.’” He finished up his time in Killingly by watching the local high school continue to go undefeated against a rival team from Hartford that had three Division 1 athletes on the team. “It was cold, but it was beautiful to watch those kids of character and, resilience and perseverance,” he said. What can you do that is bigger than you? “When you find something to do that gives you a beautiful purpose, your life is going to change,” he said. Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.
Years ago, Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden was walking toward his gate at Pittsburgh International Airport when he caught sight of Bill Cowher, then the head coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Jeff’s first inclination was to go up and shake Cowher’s hand, but he wavered for a moment because he thought most everybody wanted Cowher’s time and he likely didn’t want to be bothered. But he decided to approach Cowher anyway. The iconic coach was with his wife, Kaye Cowher, who died in 2010. “I will never forget that moment,” he said. “Bill Cowher stopped and turned toward me, and his wife engaged in the conversation. They probably gave me 20 seconds, and 20 seconds is a long time. I introduced myself and told him I was a big fan. He looked me in the eye. His wife smiled, but I remember him smiling and saying, ‘thank you.’” Day 13 of the “Attitude of Gratitude” series is all about exposing the truth, and how the little things will hold you accountable. Jeff recorded this episode of The BOOM Podcast in Reno, where he was the keynote speaker for one of the regional Student Council (STUCO) conferences in Nevada. He arrived early at the hosting high school, got set up for the event, and met the principal. “I went to shake his hand,” he said. “It was a good handshake, but he gave me that ‘looking away’ handshake.” This moment turned into a later defining conversation between Jeff and the principal. “I asked the principal if there was anything he wanted me to share in my message, and he was telling me about social media and first impressions.” Obviously, the door was wide-open for Jeff to bring up his earlier first-impression – that handshake. “I took a great risk, but I tried to be tactful,” he said. “I explained the handshake we had, and I explained to him exactly what he did. He didn’t realize he had done that.” The point is this: ‘I know you’re busy. I’m busy too. I know we’re grinding so hard every single day and that sometimes we need stop and be present.” Jeff recalled a similar moment when a young man bought one of his books after a school presentation a while back. “Apparently, I didn’t acknowledge him – and I remember getting an email from him, just blasting me. I reached out to the school and to the advisor of this young student. I tried to do everything I could. I sent books, t-shirts, posters, pictures. That young man wanted nothing to do with me because of that one moment.” According to Jeff, sometimes that first impression is a lasting impression. Always remember that a little kindness and common courtesy go a long way. “My moment of gratitude today is recognizing that it’s the little things every single day.” Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.
If you can count your true friends on one hand, consider yourself wealthy. In Episode 58 of The BOOM Podcast, mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden continues to lay out his 28-Day “Attitude of Gratitude” series. Day 12 is all about self-awareness. Are you loved? Hated? A little of both? Self-aware people know where they stand with others. Jeff has a close circle of friends that he knows he can call if he ever needs them – and any of these friends would be there for him in a heartbeat. “I consider myself a very wealthy person, but I think it’s also important to understand and to be OK with the fact that not everybody will like you,” he said. An interesting question to ponder is this: Do we change who we are to meet their approval, or do we continue being who we are in our lives’ journeys? Your journey is not somebody else’s journey. “Listen: There are a lot of people that don’t like me, and there are a lot of people that don’t like you – but here’s the thing: Are we going to live our lives every single day, giving these people the power over our emotions, or are we going to realize that there are people that just don’t like us? People might not like you because you are different from them. Being different is OK. “But if people don’t like you because you are a straight-up ass, I think you really need to look at the type of person you are, because there might be a lot of other people with valid reasons for not liking you – and if that’s the case, I don’t see that you live a very happy life.” Jeff knows that he can be loud, opinionated and selfish with his time, but in his self-awareness, he knows his intentions are pure. “I’ve got a big heart. Maybe too big – so I can’t really be affected by people that don’t like me. You might not like me because I’ve made mistakes in the past. I have. I’ve hurt people in the past, and I’m sorry,” he said. “Have you ever said something to someone you wish you didn’t say? Have you ever done something you wish you didn’t do?” We all have, haven’t we? “I can’t dwell on the past. I can kind of look at the past as a rear-view mirror. It’s just used to check out the past, but you don’t live there long,” he said. But if you have hurt somebody, Jeff recommends reaching out to them and apologizing if you can. “Now it’s up to them to accept your apology and maybe give you forgiveness – which I think most people probably would – but there are also a lot of people who might not.” But at this point, it’s no longer about you. The ball is in their court now. You have attempted to make amends, and if forgiveness doesn’t come, that’s their issue. There is nothing more for you to do. “In being self-aware, I think it’s important to know who you are – but it’s just as important to know who you are not. In being aware of who you are not, you are also choosing to live in a way that you are not going to live your life to meet the approval of other people,” he said. Jeff said that if you can forgive, and if you can apologize and ask for forgiveness from the people you may have hurt, that’s a very powerful place to be. “When you look in the mirror, the big question is this: Are you as beautiful a person on the inside as you are on the outside? That’s the question that you must answer.” When Jeff recorded this podcast episode, he was getting ready to head to Reno, Nevada for a speaking gig. “I’m going to reflect on the plane – about who I am as a man – who I am as a significant other – who I am as a leader in my community and a leader in my field of work – and I want to challenge you to do the same thing. The question is: Do you like yourself? Because that’s what matters the most.” Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.
When mental health speaker and Amazon Bestselling author Jeff Yalden recorded Episode 57 of The BOOM Podcast, he found himself at home in the beautiful Myrtle Beach area – enjoying some quality time and chilling on his patio and planning his day. Then it hit him: This was November 10, also known as the Marine Corps Birthday, which is now 242 years old. As many of you know, Jeff served as a United States Marine during the Gulf War. What an awesome time to be recording a podcast episode about gratitude! “Oorah! Semper Fi to all of my fellow marines that I served with,” he said, adding that this shout-out went to those who served before, who are serving now or thinking about serving in the future – and he extended his thanks to all servicemembers. “You are serving our country, and you are giving us the very freedom that so many of us take for granted every single day. Thank you.” And while he was on the subject of gratitude for those who serve – Jeff broadened his scope to include other folks who are of service to a purpose greater than self – who toil selflessly every day to make sure that others are taken care of.
SERVE A PURPOSE GREATER THAN SELF“Here’s my question: What are you doing in life that makes your community a little bit better? What do you do? What is your service to a purpose that is bigger than you? Think about that.” Every day, Jeff asks himself the following three questions:Is my life meaningful?
- Is my life meaningful?
- Is my life fulfilling?
- Is my life rewarding?