If you can count your true friends on one hand, consider yourself wealthy.
Day 12 is all about self-awareness.
Are you loved? Hated? A little of both? Self-aware people know where they stand with others.
Jeff has a close circle of friends that he knows he can call if he ever needs them – and any of these friends would be there for him in a heartbeat.
“I consider myself a very wealthy person, but I think it’s also important to understand and to be OK with the fact that not everybody will like you,” he said.
An interesting question to ponder is this: Do we change who we are to meet their approval, or do we continue being who we are in our lives’ journeys?
Your journey is not somebody else’s journey.
“Listen: There are a lot of people that don’t like me, and there are a lot of people that don’t like you – but here’s the thing: Are we going to live our lives every single day, giving these people the power over our emotions, or are we going to realize that there are people that just don’t like us?
People might not like you because you are different from them.
Being different is OK.
“But if people don’t like you because you are a straight-up ass, I think you really need to look at the type of person you are, because there might be a lot of other people with valid reasons for not liking you – and if that’s the case, I don’t see that you live a very happy life.”
Jeff knows that he can be loud, opinionated and selfish with his time, but in his self-awareness, he knows his intentions are pure.
“I’ve got a big heart. Maybe too big – so I can’t really be affected by people that don’t like me. You might not like me because I’ve made mistakes in the past. I have. I’ve hurt people in the past, and I’m sorry,” he said. “Have you ever said something to someone you wish you didn’t say? Have you ever done something you wish you didn’t do?”
We all have, haven’t we?
“I can’t dwell on the past. I can kind of look at the past as a rear-view mirror. It’s just used to check out the past, but you don’t live there long,” he said.
But if you have hurt somebody, Jeff recommends reaching out to them and apologizing if you can.
“Now it’s up to them to accept your apology and maybe give you forgiveness – which I think most people probably would – but there are also a lot of people who might not.”
But at this point, it’s no longer about you. The ball is in their court now. You have attempted to make amends, and if forgiveness doesn’t come, that’s their issue. There is nothing more for you to do.
“In being self-aware, I think it’s important to know who you are – but it’s just as important to know who you are not. In being aware of who you are not, you are also choosing to live in a way that you are not going to live your life to meet the approval of other people,” he said.
Jeff said that if you can forgive, and if you can apologize and ask for forgiveness from the people you may have hurt, that’s a very powerful place to be.
“When you look in the mirror, the big question is this: Are you as beautiful a person on the inside as you are on the outside? That’s the question that you must answer.”
When Jeff recorded this podcast episode, he was getting ready to head to Reno, Nevada for a speaking gig.
“I’m going to reflect on the plane – about who I am as a man – who I am as a significant other – who I am as a leader in my community and a leader in my field of work – and I want to challenge you to do the same thing.
The question is: Do you like yourself? Because that’s what matters the most.”
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