It was an honor to speak at a Marine Corps Ball on a Saturday night, but was it too much for someone who lives with mental illness and needs balance and boundaries?
Listen – it meant a lot to me that I was invited, and I want to do whatever I can to honor my Marine Corps. It’s been 25 years since I was honorably discharged.
Here’s the deal: I arrived home from travels close to midnight on Friday night. I had to leave my house at noon Saturday to drive the four hours to Rock Hill, SC to speak for 20 minutes and then drive home. I got back home after midnight. On Sunday, I didn’t do anything but rest – watching football and lounging on the couch all day. After the week I had, it was easy to give myself permission to do this. I was in eastern Texas at the beginning of the week and closed it out with a speaking engagement in western Washington – followed by an all-day flight home Friday.
I spoke for free at the Marine Corps Ball and didn’t expect to get paid. Let’s call that giving back. But it gets complicated when I start thinking about travel time, being busy and overwhelmed, free talks versus self-care. I speak for a living, after all.
If I think about my clients, I realize that it wasn’t fair to them to push myself and speak at the ball. I wasn’t being fair to myself either. At the end of the day, my self-care should have been more important. I need balance and boundaries in order to prioritize my life and my speaking schedule.
Today I was in the office early, knowing I had a lot of work to catch up on before I fly out to Philadelphia this evening. Mostly, I was working with my media team and taking care of the website.
The website has been a thorn in my side for the past few months. It’s outdated and needs to have all the widgets updated – but before I could do that, I needed to update the PHP. Your guess is as good as mine about what that means. It’s language that computer code geeks know. It’s code that confuses me and I don’t have the patience for it.
The website crashed when I tried to update a plug-in. That’s more than an hour I will never get back, and that’s another reason I am transferring the hosting of the website to a new platform.
Thankfully for Charles Kirkland, my go-to guy in website marketing, he was able to help us make some sense of what we are doing and what we need to do. He was on speed dial a few times today.
Maybe I wouldn’t have stressed about this so much if I got the rest I needed – but I made the decision to speak, pro bono, at the Marine Corps Ball.
Maybe I’m too busy as a professional speaker to do motivational talks for free. I think I should reevaluate my schedule and take a good look at how many times I speak.
My Hilton Honors has me staying at a Hilton hotel 147 nights this year and it’s only November 11. That’s a lot of travel.
It was a very stressful day, but was it really all that stressful considering what many people deal with in their lives?
Living with Mental Illness
I’m a man that lives with major depression, bipolar II disorder and PTSD. Maybe I’m making too much of this. I won’t disagree, but I do that, and it bothers me. A lot.
Why can’t I let it go and just be present and thankful I’m making progress every day? I pride myself on showing up and doing the best I can – but then my expectations are too high.
I’m confused and bothered by this stress.
Change in Medication
Another thing I need to be aware of is my change in medication. I’ve recently switched from Lexapro to Wellbutrin. I don’t know enough to think this could be the cause, but I know enough to be aware that me being on medication is important. It’s good to be reminded of this fact.
Flying off to Philadelphia
So, I’m at the airport and my flight is slightly delayed. That doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it does. I’m getting ready to board and I thought I’d throw some thoughts out on the blog instead of hiding on my social media profiles.
I think I’m going to spend this 90-minute flight to Philadelphia grateful to recognize how I am feeling and letting this go.
I’m going to spend time thankful I got to speak at the Marine Corps Ball. Whether it was a paid talk or a pro bono talk doesn’t matter. I think I need to have more boundaries and balance in my life personally and professionally. I need to focus on the tasks at hand, my time management – and know my schedule months in advance.
Saying no Is a lesson we can all learn. If we don’t say no, it’s too easy to become overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed not only do we suffer, but those we are closest to suffer as well.
Tomorrow is a New Day
Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe all this could have waited one more day and I could have just been present and enjoyed today – Veterans Day!
Happy Veterans Day to myself and all my fellow veterans. Now I’m bothered I didn’t get to enjoy the day I earned because I was too stressed and overwhelmed.
I’m learning each and every day. This is just another day of living with bipolar. Today, it beat me. Tomorrow, I’m taking back control over my mental illness.
Now this: As I’m getting ready to board, the gate agent just advised us of maintenance, and we are further delayed. There was a bird strike on the plane’s final approach. It could be a lot worse, I guess. Thankfully, I’m not that bird who played chicken with an inbound plane.
Just breathe friends, just breathe.
Who is Jeff Yalden?
Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders.
He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.
His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults.
You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:
For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below:
Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities
Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic
Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866
To the flight attendant’s credit, maybe she took to heart what Jeff said in his first encounter with her – that he was all set. She offered him a chocolate chip cookie when the flight was about to land, but he politely declined.
“Getting off the plane, she was like, ‘have a great day, sir.’”
Let it go.
“Don’t compare one situation to another situation,” he said. “Don’t compare your life to someone else’s life. I think sometimes when we do that, we raise our anxiety and stress us out more than we need to.
If you haven’t heard from someone for a couple of hours, it’s no big deal.
“We are all busy. We are all trying to work hard – but if you think that maybe you have hurt someone’s feelings – ask them.”
More times than not, you will come to know that it’s not about you.
To listen to this episode of The BOOM Podcast, go 
Find what you are grateful for, and this can serve as a roadmap to fulfillment.
Jeff shares a couple of examples of this in his life where his purpose is bigger than himself.
“Carolina Forest High School here in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, had a student make that forever decision about a week ago. I sent a message to the school and I offered my prayers and thoughts. I said I was sorry, and if there was anything I could do, please let me know.”
Because he reached out, Jeff was able to do presentation at the school.
“I feel very fulfilled in my heart that I got to do that,” he said.
He also recently spent two days in 
The point is this:
‘I know you’re busy. I’m busy too. I know we’re grinding so hard every single day and that sometimes we need stop and be present.”
Jeff recalled a similar moment when a young man bought one of his books after a school presentation a while back.
“Apparently, I didn’t acknowledge him – and I remember getting an email from him, just blasting me. I reached out to the school and to the advisor of this young student. I tried to do everything I could. I sent books, t-shirts, posters, pictures. That young man wanted nothing to do with me because of that one moment.”
According to Jeff, sometimes that first impression is a lasting impression.
Always remember that a little kindness and common courtesy go a long way.
“My moment of gratitude today is recognizing that it’s the little things every single day.”
Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go 
“Sometimes we live our lives so fast that we forget just the little things. Remember this: Fast is slow and slow is fast. Just stop, take it all in – breathe, feel and appreciate – because health is not health unless we first have our mental health.”
Jeff says it’s imperative that we lower the anxiety we experience every day, and get to the heart of what is bothering us and taking up space in our heads.
“If you go out every single day and you are living at about a seven out of ten on the anxiety scale – how productive are you, really?”
Instead, start your day with a self-care routine – reflecting on the things you appreciate. Don’t be like 99 percent of the people who are on autopilot – merely going through the motions. That’s not living.
“Wake up every day with a purpose, my friends. Wake up every single day with love in your heart. Wake up every day knowing that life is a challenge – but as much as life is a challenge, life is also a blessing.”
Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go 
Try waking up 15 minutes earlier to practice some positive affirmations: “I am strong. I am capable. I deserve great things in life.”
Positive behavior + positive attitude = positive outcome.
Negative behavior + negative attitude = negative outcome.
Jeff warns us not to allow a negative outcome to make us victims.
“My friends: You are not a victim. You are a victor,” he said. “Stop being bitter and angry about life or life’s circumstances and choose to become better every single day. That is what we do.”
Remember: Self-care is not selfish. Make time in your day to take care of yourself, whether it’s eating lunch in your car and listening to music or self-help programs.
“Meditate. Breathe. Lower your anxiety. Get involved in yoga or pick up the golf clubs and go swing those sticks,” he said.
Jeff is putting together a golfing event in Myrtle Beach in April. For more information, go 
