By Jeff Yalden, Teen Life Coach and Youth Speaker
Understanding the different phases of life can help high school students navigate challenges, build healthy habits, and set a foundation for the future. This version is tailored for high school audiences, with practical tips, teen-friendly language, and downloadable worksheets to support students, parents, and teachers.
Phase 1: Discovery Phase (High School Students)
A period of rapid change: body, friendships, academics, and self-identity. Start to become comfortable with who you are and with who you are not. Stop comparing yourself to others and wishing you were somebody else or had someone else’s features. You are unique and you are beautiful.
What’s important here
1. **Identity and Values**
– Begin answering: “Who am I beyond my classes and activities?”
– List 3 core values (e.g., honesty, kindness, curiosity) and track moments when you live them.
2. **Healthy Habits**
– Consistent sleep schedule (aim for 8–9 hours if possible). I’ve always said young people need 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per 24 hours. More if you’re ugly. Why do I have to explain this comment now? Because we are too sensitive (my opinion). I mean if you have an ugly attitude, you’re edgy, reactionary, etc. More sleep if you are really tired is what I mean when I say, “if you’re ugly.” That would have been more funny if I didn’t have to explain what I meant by this comment though, right?
Moving on . . .
– Balanced meals, regular physical activity, and hydration. Hydrate the body and the mind.
– Mindful tech use: limits on social media. Focus more on your development, responsibilities and commitments to your academics, sports, and extra-curriculars such as clubs, etc.
3. **Social Skills and Environment**
– Build supportive friendships; practice active listening and inclusive language.
– Identify trusted adults (counselor, coach, teacher, family) you can talk to. It’s important to have trusted and significant adults you can always go to and talk to. You have to make this connection and you’ll find them through trust and knowing they care about you. Go to them.
4. **Study Habits**
– Create a simple study system: daily review, organized notes, and a weekly planner. Get organized. Two things I find important for today’s youth and that is organization and time-management.
– Learn to break tasks into small and manageable steps to reduce overwhelming feelings and anxiety. Just breathe and accept challenges as you learn. You can do it.
5. **Academic and Skill Building**
– Improve study techniques tailored to college/career goals: note-taking, test prep, project management.
– Seek feedback and practice resilience after setbacks.
6. **Emotion Awareness**
– It’s normal to feel stressed or uncertain—name the emotion and pick a coping strategy (breathing, quick walk, talking to someone, music, physical activity, etc.).
Practical tips for High School Students
– Weekly values check-in: write down 3 moments you felt aligned with your values.
– One small weekly goal (e.g., 10 pages of reading, 15 minutes of journaling, or a consistent bedtime). Make goals that support your interests and responsibilities.
Here’s one: How about making your bed each morning.
Here’s another: Each day, write down three things you are grateful for and no day can be a repeat of the previous day. You’ll start to feel good with feelings of gratitude.
Phase 2: Growth Phase (Young Adult)
What this phase is
– Ages roughly 18 – 30
Increased responsibilities, more independence, and your parents aren’t there to do things for you anymore. Stronger focus on identity, future plans, resiliency and self-advocacy.
What’s important here
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**Purpose and Goals**
– Start exploring interests for college, careers, or trades. Think about financial investing for your future and ask questions. Start at 18 years old with just a $100 or $200 a month. Whatever your budget and I promise commit to something and you won’t miss it.
– Engage in clubs, volunteer work, internships, or job shadows aligned with strengths. Have a growth mindset in exploring opportunities. Throw the fixed mindset from Phase One to the curb. Open yourself up to life being more than your friendships and gaming. You’re now becoming an adult with responsibilities and obligations and those rights and privileges you once had you learn that the world owes you nothing. Be responsible in this phase.
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**Personal Responsibility**
– Develop time management: deadlines, prioritization, and self-advocacy.
– Get organized with your life
– Basic financial awareness: budgeting for activities, jobs, and saving.
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**Healthy Boundaries and Relationships**
– Set limits with peers, relationships, and social media.
– Practice consent and respectful communication in all relationships.
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**Mental Health and Resilience** (Hydrating the mind)
– Normalize seeking support: school counselor, outside therapist, or peer groups when needed.
– Coping strategies for stress (exercise, journaling, creative outlets, breathing exercises).
– Get involved in clubs, sports, extra-curriculars. Things that interest you. Show up and try it out.
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**Career Clarification and Education Choices**
– Research pathways: college majors, apprenticeships, certifications, entrepreneurship.
– Build a professional network: mentors, clubs, internships, LinkedIn-ready resume.
Practical tips
– “30-day curiosity challenge”: each day, try a new activity or topic and reflect on what you learned.
– Start a simple resume or portfolio: list achievements, volunteer work, and skills.
Phase 3: Transition Phase (Senior Year and Beyond)
Ages roughly: Your Adulting
This is a time of greater responsibility and self-definition as you plan for your family and your future. Like I stated . . . You’re ADULTING! Everything has led you to this point and you should be responsible and accountable.
Time to start having things figured out
What’s important here
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**Life Skills Mastery**
– Financial literacy basics: budgeting, banking, credit, credit cards, student loans, buying a car or a house. A financial portfolio for your future.
– Practical independence: cooking, cleaning, time management, organization, life planning.
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**Relationships and Boundaries**
– Healthy romantic and platonic relationships; ongoing communication and consent.
– Boundaries with family and roommates; practice conflict resolution.
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**Mental and Physical Well-being**
– Maintain coping strategies; seek help if stress or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
– Prioritize sleep, regular exercise, and balanced nutrition.
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**Purpose and Impact**
– Consider how choices affect your future and the world. Remember this, TAKE TIME TO THINK or “I” over “E” . . . Never E (emotion) over (intellect). Always remember to keep your emotions in check till you get home and scissor kick or throat punch that pillow.
– Get involved in causes or communities that matter to you. Volunteer some of your time.
Practical tips
– Create a 5-year plan: education/career, living situation, finances, and personal goals.
– Build a “portfolio of growth”: projects, certificates, volunteering, and experiences.
Common Themes Across All Phases
– **Self-Discovery:** Your identity evolves; stay curious and flexible.
– **Healthy Habits:** Sleep, nutrition, movement, and boundaries underpin success.
– **Support Systems:** Trusted adults, mentors, peers, and professionals are there to help.
– **Communication:** Clear, respectful dialogue reduces conflicts and builds trust.
– **Resilience:** Mistakes are learning opportunities. Reflect, adjust, and try again.
Quick Action Plan for High School Students:
- Pick one habit to start this week (e.g., 10-minute nightly reflection, 15 minutes of reading, or a 60 minute screen break).
- Identify one supportive adult you can talk to about your goals.
- List three goals you care about, and break them into small steps.
- Schedule a short monthly check-in with yourself to assess progress and adjust.
Classroom Implementation Ideas
– Use Phase 1 as a “Self-Discovery” unit: 2–3 weeks of journaling, values activities, and study-skills mini-lessons.
– Phase 2 as a “Career Exploration” unit: clubs, internships, guest speakers, and resume-building labs.
– Phase 3 as a “Plan for the Future” unit: financial literacy lessons, college/application planning, and network-building projects.
– Quick assessments: short reflections at the end of each phase; a simple rubric for personal growth and resilience.