Why Teens Need a Mental Health Life Coach

April 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

Jeff Yalden speaks to teens one on one everywhere he goes.

Your teen needs a Teen Life Coach and a Mental Health Life Coach for support and encouragement. Consider Jeff Yalden. He’s been that trusted teen life coach for many years.

Growing up teen today is harder than it has ever been.

Parenting is harder than it’s ever been too, and that is why teens need a Mental Health Life Coach. Parents can use a coach that understands teens as well.

As a Youth Motivational Speaker & Coach, Jeff Hears Their Cries

Pressures of being a teen today are overwhelming. The mental well-being of our teens is seriously being compromised.

Jeff sees it everyday in his talks with teens and school communities. High School Assemblies with youth motivational speaker Jeff Yalden are 15 hours and in that time he meets one on one with many teens requesting to speak to him personally.

After his high school assemblies students line up to talk about life, their family struggles, abuse, brokenness, loss, fear, anxiety, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed and more.

A personal conversation with Jeff and teens feel they can trust in him to share their heart.

Visit Jeff’s Website

Why Teens want to speak to Jeff Yalden

For so many reasons, teens are afraid to talk, including but not limited to:

They’re afraid you’re going to try and fix it
They’re afraid you’re going to judge them
You’re going to tell them they’re overreacting
You don’t understand the pressure of being a teen
You’re not going to take them seriously
They’re afraid of being a burden
They can’t figure out how they’re feeling themselves
They feel you won’t value their feelings, thoughts, and emotions

So what do teens do? They isolate themselves trying to figure it all out and it becomes too overwhelming.

Teens don’t trust adults

Sounds crazy, but it’s true and that is why they’re not reaching out to their trusted adults. Ask many teens who their trusted adult is and they’ll tell you they don’t have one. Scared, isolated, and teens feel alone and a disappointment. They’re not speaking because they are afraid to burden their closest adults with their problems. They know how stressful life is for you that they don’t want to overwhelm you with their problems.

“I wanted to say “Thank You” for letting me thing that I do belong here and I am special. I am loved and that I don’t need to end it all to get what I want.I will never forget everything you said to everyone.” – Student, OH

Two Questions Teens Need Answered

If you’re going to connect and be able to get the trust and respect from your teens you have to answer these two questions:

Can I trust you?
Do you care about me?

You can’t just say, “I’m the parent. Of course they know they can trust me.” Not so fast. How do you show it? How do they know?

Teens don’t walk in the house from school and say, “Mom and dad, I’ve had a bad day. Can we talk?“

They go to their room just wishing you would come through the door and listen to their heart without saying a word. Just listen.

In isolation their minds are left thinking the worst.

You spell LOVE: T-I-M-E. TIME and being non-judgmental when you’re listening.

Teen Pressures are Overwhelming

With all the pressures: social media, school, friends, their future, and the expectations, teens are overwhelmed. Their mental health is being compromised and teens don’t know how to cope.

Mental Health Teen Life Coach Jeff Yalden reaches students.

Major concerns such as self-harm, depression, and maybe even suicidal ideation if teens don’t ask for help or parents don’t advocate for their child.

A teen mental health life coach helps your teen navigate the process of life by listening and offering practical tips and advice. Having this teen life coach will lead to self-value, self-respect, and a confidant they can talk to without judgement.

It’s extremely important to have a mental health life coach to help deal with everyday challenges for teens.

Someone that understands them and can help them navigate the process of life in a calm, non-reactionary, balanced journey; giving them practical tips and advice.

Teen Suicide: Is your Teen Next?

After a suicide, Jeff meets with students and friends and gives them permission to talk and feel while leading them in on a healthy and positive path to closure and acceptance.

Jeff Yalden is an expert on teen mental health and teen suicide.

Teen Suicide has been and continues to be an epidemic in school communities everywhere.

You may have heard about the show “13 Reasons Why” that tells the story of how a teen girl takes her own life after experiencing many traumatic experiences.

Many mixed views about the show. Some feel like the show provides a valuable opportunity for discussion about bullying and teen suicide.

On the other side of the spectrum are those that feel the show glorifies suicide and shows that it is an easy option.

Regardless of what you think, Jeff says the show is popular because it is a conversation teens are having. Suicide is a thought and that is why teens are paying attention. For this reason, Jeff says as a parent you should be watching the show because your teen is probably watching it themselves.

The show triggers with teens and their emotions. Pay attention and do something.

Two Reasons Teens Want to End Their Lives

There are two specific reasons teens start thinking about wanting to end their lives.

They feel alone
They feel they’re a disappointment

What comes next if they’re not asking for help is self-harm. Heed the warning signs and take all signs seriously.

Teens are in a Vulnerable and Emotional State

Teen Mental Health Life Coach Jeff Yalden

The years of being a teen are very stressful and although as parents you’ve been through it, it just isn’t the same.

This is one of the reasons why teens need a mental health life coach they can talk to weekly or bi-monthly.

A teen life coach that can teach them skills that will help them deal with everyday life stressors. A teen life coach that gives them tools o they can add to their toolbox.

As a teen life coach, Jeff spends a lot of time teaching coping skills and problem solving skills.

Teens in Therapy

Jeff feels strongly that professional counseling is a great place for teens.

Teens don’t trust in adults, especially counselors and don’t feel they need therapy. A teen life coach having been through the journey of mental health counseling can really help your teen with understanding what counseling is.

You can’t just say to a teen, “You need therapy.“

Therapy is a process and Jeff works with his clients to help them understand the benefits of therapy and perhaps medication, if that is needed.

Teens trust in Jeff because he stays on their side and explains how it all works. Jeff validates their feelings and thoughts but shows the benefits of giving professional counseling a try and sticking to it.

In the process of working with a teen life coach make sure that this teen life coach knows enough about mental health in teens. Also, this teen life coach understands their boundaries between a teen life coach and professional therapist.

The two can easily work together. Jeff specializes in working with the client and another therapist. Jeff says, “We both have our strengths and I don’t interfere with the therapist at all.” Working together it’s a win-win situation.

13 Reasons why a Teen Mental Health Life Coach is Right for Your Teen

1. Social Media and Teens:

The overwhelming amount of time being on Social Media. More time on social media is more time isolating yourself from the world. Isolation is toxic.

If your teen is spending 4-5 or more hours on social media platforms they’re 70% more likely to have major depression in their life.

Jeff Yalden can assist you as a parent with explaining what social media and the dopamine effect are doing to teens.

2.Mandated Testing in Schools:

The anxiety and pressure teens are facing with tests is overwhelming and causing a lot of stress. Teens think today that if they’re not perfect what is the point.

The expectations teens feel they’re not reaching are coming from school, parents, themselves, and keeping up with their friends.

Your teen needs help managing the anxiety that comes with this overwhelming pressure. A teen life coach teaches helpful tools to manage this anxiety in order to be more successful in school and in life.

Here is a FREE Introduction Course on Meditation from Jeff.

3. Bullying and Cyberbullying

Teen suicide is rarely the cause of one thing such as bullying. Bullying can be the straw that breaks the camels back, but today, Jeff will tell you that bullying or cyberbullying can certainly be the cause of a teen suicide completion or attempt.

Absolutely!

Kids are mean and this occurs in school, on social media, and a lot of the time at home.

It’s very rare for a teen to never experience being bullied by the time they have graduated from high school.

Having a teen life coach can teach skills to help your teen handle the bullying and even prevent bullying from happening to them. Teens also need these skills to help them realize when they are being the bully and how not to get in that situation.

While most schools have anti-bullying programs in place the students don’t take them seriously and sometimes these programs give new opportunities for bullying to occur.

4. Divorce and Family Issues

Family issues and blended families is more normal amongst teens and their friends. Too many of our teens have these feelings they are the cause of the tension in the family or the reason for the divorce.

Family issues are very emotional for the teen. Maybe more so than for the parents.

Having a teen life coach can help your teen find emotional resilience and manage the big picture, the change, and how to take this one day at a time without getting caught up in the brokenness.

If your child doesn’t talk to someone and express their thoughts and feelings the pain will manifest into behavior that leads to further problems, anxiety, depression, and maybe suicidal ideation.

5. Peer Pressure

Imagine the pressure you feel as an adult trying to keep up with family, friends, and co-workers.

Teens need to learn how to follow their own personal course and to enjoy getting to know who they are and not trying to live in other people shoes.

Having a teen life coach can help your teen make decisions for themselves where they take pride in who they are and the course of their own life.

6. Sexual abuse

Being abused sexually is more common than you’d imagine. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), teens account for 51% of all reported sexual abuse and female victims of teen sexual abuse while in grades 9-12 are more likely than others to experience eating disorders, suicidal ideation, pregnancy, and risky sexual behaviors.

A teen life coach will give your teen the consistent coaching that can help your teen know the difference between being where they should be and where they should not be, but more importantly having the confidence to say, “NO.”

Your teen needs to understand how and where sexual abuse occurs and if it’s happened a teen life coach can help them process and be comfortable talking to their parents and professional help as it’s the right thing to do.

7. Alcohol and Drugs: Self-Medicating

Too many of our teens are vaping, drinking, and experiencing with pills. It’s become a

Teen Life Coach says every teen needs a trust adult in their life.

norm for too many teens today and they’re not taking it seriously.

George Mason University says this culture of alcohol drinking can lead to higher rates of teen sex, teen pregnancy, date rape, violence, and illegal activity.

Teens believe it is not a big deal to drink alcohol, because everyone does it, even their parents.

Alcohol becomes a go-to for stress and anxiety. Self-medicating.

A teen life coach can help with coping skills and problem solving skills on how to deal with anxiety, stress, and everyday problems.

8. The Maturity of a Teen’s Brain

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain where emotional control, impulse restraint and rational decision-making take place. According to Dr. David Walsh, this part of the brain does not fully mature until around the age of 25 and this is why many teenagers do not practice “good judgment” in difficult situations.

9. Teens Don’t Like Talking to Adults

Again, Jeff says you have to earn their respect and trust and it takes time.

Teen Life Coach, Jeff Yalden saves a teen and visits her a year later.

One of the most memorable moments of Jeff’s career as a teen life coach was this young lady and the two years of saving her life.

Teens withdraw from parents and spend more time alone or with their friends. Isolation is toxic and our teens are spending too much time alone or with their friends asking the questions they should be asking an adult.

Having a teen life coach in your teens life can help them make good decisions and guide them through the tough times they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or counselors about.

10. Drama . . . Drama . . . Drama

Drama causes a lot of ups and downs and happens daily in a teens life.

One day your teen is best friends with someone and the next day she is not.

Hateful are said to each other and rumors can be spread. This can lead to bullying and depression.

Your teen needs to have a mentor to show them the bigger picture. When it comes to friends a teen life coach can help your teen use their inner judgement in making good decisions when it comes to the friends that matter and to the friends that are acquaintances.

11. The Future Decisions

The future is a huge stress factor for high school students in junior and senior year of high school.

If your teen is in a competitive high school environment it’s even worse. If your teen doesn’t get into a good school they’ll feel a disappointment to themselves and their parents.

Teens feel the pressure to know what they want to do as a career as early a 9th grade.

They get confused from all of the pressure from parents, friends, teachers, and media.

A teen life coach can help teen your teen make these decisions by asking questions that make the most sense to them and what they want in their life.

12. The feelings of being Alone and a Disappointment

Most teens feel alone and a disappointment. Teens are becoming more independent and trying to figure out what their purpose in life is, who their friends are, and what they are good at.

As they are learning more about themselves they may have moments of feeling left out or like they are different than everyone else.

Teen Life Coaches can help a teens understand that we are all connected and here for different reasons. Teens are wondering what their purpose is and a teen life coach can help guide them in the right direction while supporting and encouraging them in their journey.

13. They’re Influences such as Television and the Internet

Teens are influenced everyday and everything is influential to a teen who is easily impressionable.

Suicide contagion is real. Television shows like “13 Reasons Why” was very impressionable on millions of teens.

Teens need a life coach to know that suicide is a permanent action to a situation that is temporary.

By you giving your teen a life coach, someone to talk to and trust in on a consistent basis you are giving your teen a trusted mentor to teach important life-saving tools that will help your teen gain a healthy mind in order to live a happy and successful life with meaning and purpose.

Consider a teen life coach for your teen today, by visiting Jeff Yalden: Teen Life Coach and Teen Mental Health Expert.

Inspiring Conversations: Ep.1 – Bobby Petrocelli

April 1, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

You Matter . . . IT Doesn’t

I got on ZOOM about five minutes before our time of 12:00pm, April 1, 2020. No, this is not an April Fools’ Day joke. By the way, I don’t like April Fools’ jokes. I was excited to speak with fellow author, speaker and educator Bobby Petrocelli. I asked him to tell me a couple of things on his heart that he might want to talk about that day.

Bobby Petrocelli is passionate and wise, and I knew I’d have questions.

Right away, Bobby mentioned his book, YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T. He told me he wanted to talk about the WHY behind the IT. I knew where he was going with this because it’s right up my alley. I composed myself and started with a prayer…

A Talk Show is BORN!

During my interview with Petrocelli, it dawned on me that I needed to do a YouTube channel dedicated to inspiring conversations, and here we are. Just like that, the show is created. Now I just need to figure out how to make a YouTube talk show.

This is a good time to figure it out, because nothing much is happening, and I have time. The COVID-19 pandemic has us all struggling with social isolation. Schools are closed, many people are out of work and obviously my speaking schedule is on hold.

It’s during times like this where you have time to create new ideas that might take off. We can choose victim or victor, right? I love Bobby Petrocelli. He’s a great man and an amazing speaker. We’ve known each other for many years. When I get a chance to interview him, I get excited. He’s inspiring and knowledgeable. He’s a man of God and cares about youth and families. He cares about people.

Find out more about Bobby HERE.

IT HAPPENED . . .

What is IT?

The IT represents the result of something. Bobby talked about his wife being killed by a drunk driver when he was 24 years old. The IT is his wife was killed by a drunk driver. The WHY is what we don’t often talk about. Among other things, the IT leaves us angry, hurt, resentful, and broken. We end up going through life carrying this feeling because we don’t move past IT.

WHY did IT Happen?

The WHY is behind the IT and gives us the answers we are looking for so we can move forward and cope with whatever happened. The WHY takes us on a journey to understand what needs to be understood. If we don’t ask questions, we are never healed through whatever pain we are going through. IT happened and we can’t change it, but we can change how we grow, cope, and move forward in a healthy way. For Bobby, he was prepared as much as anyone can prepare for something tragic like this. He said, “If we don’t ask the WHY then IT will dominate your life,” and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Bobby is a man of faith – a strong man of God. Right away he right away talked about forgiveness…

He didn’t say that he condones wrongdoing.

Forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving. He knew that he had to forgive this man who was two times the legal limit, driving while intoxicated when his wife was killed. Forgiveness was his first step in recovery. Amazing! He was 24 years old and he knew he had to forgive, when most people would have been angry at the world.

Bobby wasn’t.

I asked him about this.

“I had been prepared for something like this,” he said. I’m not exactly sure what Bobby meant, because who can prepare for something so tragic – but I knew it was his faith in God. It was also his ability to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset – even at 24. I’m telling you; Bobby Petrocelli is an inspirational man.

Is What You’re Being Asked to do IMPOSSIBLE?

The above question is something Bobby asks his audiences.

“You have it, whatever it is, so let’s build on it,” he said.

Bobby talked about how we have what it takes so let’s learn. Let’s be open to learning and engage in the process every day. I was thinking, don’t be the victim, be the victor. We have a lot in common, but he’s so much better at speaking about it.

You’re never asked to do anything impossible. You can choose to walk away, or you can choose to saddle up and figure it out.

Petrocelli: 10 Seconds

IT happened, but Bobby was not going to fold.

10 Seconds got him through this.

“It’s not one day at a time, like so many people say. For me, I couldn’t think of the next five minutes. I had to break it down to 10 Seconds. For me it was 10 Seconds at a time.”

I was at my worst at 16 and again at 22. I can still remember those days.

At 16, I wasn’t listening to anyone. I had a fixed mindset. At 22, I knew a little better and was very close to my grandparents. My grandmother used to say to me, “Jeff, take it one meal at a time. After dinner, go to bed, and just wake up for breakfast.”

That was my 10 Seconds at a time. The thing here that I want to make clear is that it’s not that things get better with time, but it’s what you do with that time where things get better. Sometimes, it’s just putting space between a thought and an action. It’s being grounded, present in the moment, breathing and just knowing that it will be okay.

Success: Patterns, Habits, and Routines

Nobody is better than anyone else, but some people have a routine and they’re driven. They wake up on time because they go to bed at a set time. They don’t waste hours on their smartphones, doing things that don’t matter. Successful people have a purpose. Their IT is their success. They’ve created patterns, habits and a routine to accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves.

What is the WHY? That differs from person to person, but one thing is certain: Everyone has been knocked down in life. You have a choice at this point. You can stay knocked down or you can get back up.

Bobby got back up. He knew he needed some things in his life to be right in order for him to cope through his loss.

You are a result of your patterns, habits and routines – your attitude, friends, and commitment to a GROWTH MINDSET.

Your Friends are The ROOTS, LEAVES, or the BRANCHES

I got chills when Bobby started talking about Tyler Perry’s Madea – Let Them Go.

I love this skit and it is so right. Your friends are either the roots, the leaves, or the branches. Watch the video and understand this analogy. So true.

What Works For You

The first thing to do is to engage in the process. Choose a growth mindset. Don’t be a victim. Go from IT happened to understanding WHY it happened. Then, it’s HOW CAN I . . .? How can I be better at this or that? What can I do to be can I be a better person? How can I move forward with love, compassion, forgiveness, and be healthier? It’s about being present in moments. Now. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Not even in five minutes, but here and now. Within these moments, what productive thing are you doing that works best for you?

Bobby puts it this way: “Is what I am doing making me better or hurting me?”

For Petrocelli, that question made all the difference, and helped him toward a healthy outcome. it was the moments where he would ask if what he was doing was helping or hurting him towards a healthy outcome. He set a growth mindset.

Here are the very simple and true bullets I took from this part of my conversation with Petrocelli:

Be still
You’re One of a Kind
Don’t Rob Yourself
Find Those Roots on a Tree as a Friends

Very simple and true.

Be Still

Be present and know that in stillness great things will happen.

You’re One of a Kind

Self-Esteem. Stop focusing on being beautiful on the outside and look within yourself and know you are one of a kind. There is nothing or nobody else like you.

Don’t Rob Yourself

You have a gift and you need to use it. Don’t let what is so special about you be robbed because you’re not seeing what is special. Self-esteem again. Know you are capable and beautiful and have a growth mindset.

Find the ROOTS on a TREE as your Friends

You want friends that aren’t there for a season. You want friends in your life that are invested. Surround yourself with people who are there to plant seeds rather than pick the fruit. Let them go if they’re not in your life for the right reasons.

Remember: YOU MATTER . . . IT DOESN’T.

There is a WHY to why we are broken, rejected, abandoned, or hurt. Don’t choose to carry this pain with you through life. Develop a growth mindset. Figure out the WHY and ask the HOW questions.

Remember, forgiveness is for you. It’s not for them.

Choose love. Choose you. Choose Growth.

Check out Bobby Petrocelli at www.10Seconds.org. As always, I am at www.JeffYalden.com.

Mental Illness: Breaking the Stigma

January 13, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

OUR SCHOOLS AND MENTAL HEALTH

This blog post is the second in a series based on the principles from my book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

In part one of this series, I talked about eliminating the stigma attached to teen suicide and mental illness. I believe that by talking openly about these issues, we are making enormous progress in this regard. We are beginning to shine a light in the darkness, and we need to get comfortable about being uncomfortable and continuing the conversation.

Your fear of the stigma is part of the illness.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.”

Yes – the stigma is real. The student living with mental illness believes from experience that others won’t be understanding or empathetic about their mental illness. This impacts their desire to ask for the help they know they need. The threat of stigma coupled with the effort to avoid being labeled are so powerful that more than half of the people who would benefit from mental health services never even obtain an initial interview with a professional.

If you are a teen and are suffering, I encourage you to set aside what you believe to be the stigma and reach out to a trusted adult at your school. You will be glad you did.

Schools can be a great resource and most teachers and counselors care deeply about all of their students. Administrators and other key staff are trusted adults and can point you in the right direction with contacts of support in the community.

Sometimes the young people we need to worry about are not necessarily on the school’s radar. Right now, there are students who are silently struggling with mental illness – and they are hesitant to come forward because of the stigma.

This needs to stop. We need to get past this reluctance to come forward.

We are all responsible for this. The more we talk about mental health, the more we demystify the stereotypes. The more comfortable we become, the more people may realize that this is a very serious situation in our country.

THE BOTTOM LINE

More than ever, teens need adult guidance to understand the emotional and physical changes they experience. When teenagers’ moods disrupt their ability to function on a day-to-day basis, this may indicate a serious emotional or mental disorder that needs attention.

Act immediately. Do something. Getting help is OK…

Mental illness is an economic issue and along with raging opioid addiction, it’s becoming the greatest public health crisis of our time.

We must take responsibility and actively work to eliminate the stigma. Talk about mental illness. Talk about teen suicide. It’s OK to share our thoughts and our feelings. It’s OK to be vulnerable.

We need to be present and in tune with what others around us might be going through. We need to work on our emotional intelligence in order to pick up on the cues we might not otherwise notice from others.

When we break the stigma, more people will be comfortable asking for help. Do it for each other. Do it for yourself, your family and your community.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Imagine a School where Bullying didn’t exist . . . Could you?

September 13, 2016 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Imagine if the Zero Tolerance Policy in schools existed and were enforced. Here is a solution where everyone becomes accountable, but first everyone has to understand that everyone is human and has the need for purpose and acceptance. We need to teach a culture of compassion. This is the ABC’s of Bullying Prevention. Bullying – The ABC’s of Ending Bullying from Jeff Yalden on Vimeo. For more information about Jeff Yalden speaking to Middle School Assemblies and High School Assemblies please visit Youth Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden’s website at www.JeffYalden.com.

7 Tips to Effectively Deal with an In-School Suicide

January 29, 2015 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

7 Tips To Effectively Deal with an In-School Suicide

Imagine for a second you are dealt with an emergency situation in your building, where you have to react immediately to an in-school suicide. What do you do? Do you have measures in place for such an incident? With your emergency response plans, evacuation plans, and school lock down procedures, do you have a suicide action plan in place? Let’s revisit our procedures and know what to do when we are forced to react and don’t have the time to properly respond. I have given you an example of what should be done immediately. Please use this and share with other administrators and school leaders. This week, I had two phone calls from school communities that each had to deal with an in-school suicide. One was a suicide in the bathroom, and the other was a suicide in the main gym. Could you imagine if this was your school and you were the one that was looked to as the leader? Could you imagine this happening at 7:30 am while you are preparing for another great day with staff and students? What would you do at that very moment? Whether you are a teacher or administrator, what are you going to do . . . Right Now! Before writing this blog, I called some of my trusted friends in education, mental health, and law enforcement. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing by getting their feedback and support before I would put this out publicly. The response from each one was met with a pause and a quick jolt of reality as we’re not expecting to have to deal with this. My friends, this is reality and we have to deal with the possibilities. I hope my words and video can serve you in your leadership and gain the trust of your families and school community. Never were you given a certificate in your administrative training where you were taught how to deal with this type of crisis. It’s real life and as leaders we have to be prepared for real life. I have outlined my 7 Tips to Effectively Deal with an In-School Suicide here: The First Step –BREATHE (You are the leader and your students and staff members are looking to you for guidance, support, and leadership)

Clear the area immediately – This is now a Crime Scene

The Second Step – Go To School Lock Down Procedures immediately This includes:

Make the Phone Calls –
- Call 911
- Call Superintendent
- Call School Support Services
- Call Community Mental Health
- Call Grief Counselors
Nobody talks or alerts the media
Nobody puts anything out on social media platforms – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
The situation needs to be given its respect and the parents/family needs to be notified
Alert System – Phase 1
- The school should be proactive and use their school-wide community communication and let people know there is a situation at the school
- Advise the parents that they can pick up their kids at a designated place and time

The Third Step – Evacuation Plan (This depends on where this may have taken place and what size school you are)

Clear the building of all teachers, staff members, and students
Clear the general area and keep the kids in classrooms

The Fourth Step – Grief Counselors for Staff and Students on hand The Fifth Step – Staff Meeting as soon as possible The Sixth Step – School Closed

This depends on the size of the school and the day of the week when we open school back up
This also depends (unfortunately . . . but it does) on the type or the popularity of the student

The Seventh Step – Alert System – Phase 2

Communication to the parents and the community
Let them know about the Grief Counselors and that they are available
Answer the general questions with respect to the family
Make yourself available

* Jeff Yalden is a suicide prevention specialist and youth motivational speaker. Jeff specializes in teen inspiration and embracing parents. For 23 years, Jeff Yalden has addressed high school and middle school audiences all over the world. His presentations are fun, interactive, and memorable. When asked to bring a student body back from a suicide, Jeff is the man. He cares and comes in and makes himself available answering the questions that may never be answered, ultimately giving teens, staff, and parents an understanding of today’s teens. Jeff brings the kids to understand that life is hard, but we must move on. Visit Jeff’s website www.JeffYalden.com and contact Jeff for your next high school assembly. You’ll be glad you did.

Depression – The Common Cold

January 22, 2015 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

“If you only knew how I feel!” I know many people who suffer from depression echo these words every day. What is depression and how do we deal with it everyday? First, depression is a condition we deal with. It’s not who a person is. Depression is a flaw in the brains chemistry, not a person’s character. If you are suffering from depression you’ll understand this: “You wake up only to want to go back to bed. You think nobody understands your feelings and thoughts, or what you are going through. “Just do it!”, people say. As if it were that easy. You try and get ready, but your extremities feel like they’re weighted and moving is a chore. You are totally numb and anything you’ve once enjoyed, you seem to have lost total interest. You want to be alone. You want people to be with you, but you don’t. You want people to understand, but they can’t. How can they when YOU don’t even understand? You’re just numb! Numb to life. You’re emotionally not present. It’s like you are drowning yet you look around and everyone is breathing life. You avoid friends, you end up hurting relationships, make bad financial choices, and you see life speeding by, but you are left standing on the sideline. Depression is a constant feeling of being numb. Numb to emotions. Days aren’t really days when you are depressed; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced, but end up being avoided. How do you face each day? Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting? When you are depressed, you grasp onto anything that can get you through the day. That is what depression is. It’s not sadness or tears; it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.” I am Jeff Yalden, and although this is how I feel much of the time, I am a professional in the mental health field working with teens, parents, and educators. I suffer from depression myself. Anxiety too! While I am sharing this with you, I’ll just let it all out. I am diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and PTSD. I am fully aware of who I am and the triggers that effect my mood swings. I regularly see a counselor and am close with my doctors and medication. Thank you! I am proud to have a platform where I can openly share who I am, not just what I do. I have a message for you: It doesn’t have to be like this. There is help and there is a better way to live with depression. Please read and if this is you, I encourage you to lose your ego and open your heart to a medical professional and get help immediately. Clinical depression is more than just the “blues,” being “down in the dumps,” or experiencing temporary feelings of sadness we all have from time to time. Depression is a serious condition that affects the mind and body. It impacts all aspects of everyday life including eating, sleeping, working, relationships, and how a person thinks of himself/herself. People who are clinically depressed can’t just “snap out of it.” If not treated by a professional the symptoms can continue for weeks, months, and even years. The good news is that there are very effective treatments to help those who are depressed. However, only about one third of those that are depressed actually receive treatment. This is very sad because reports say that upwards of 80-90% of those that seek treatment feel better within weeks. For a variety of reasons many people don’t seek treatment. Some believe that depression is the result of a personal weakness or character flaw. Like diabetes, heart disease, or any other medical condition, clinical depression is an illness that should be treated by a mental health professional or physician. Another reason why many people do not seek help for depression is that they simply do not recognize the signs or symptoms that something may be wrong. Depression, also known as “The Common Cold” of mental illness not only causes suffering to those who are depressed, but it also causes great pain for their family and friends who often do not know how to help. Types of Depression Major Depressive Disorder – This impairs a person’s ability to work, sleep, eat, and function as he or she normally would. It keeps people from enjoying activities that were once pleasurable, and causes them to think about themselves and the world in negative ways. Major depression is often disabling and may occur several times in a person’s life. Dysthmic Disorder – Pronounced (Dis-Thy-mia). This is a milder yet more enduring type of major depression. People with dysthymia may appear to be chronically mildly depressed to the point that is seems to be a part of their personality. When a person finally seeks treatment for dysthymia, it is not uncommon that he/she has struggled with this condition for a number of years. Bipolar Disorder – Also knows as manic-depression or manic-depressive disorder. This condition is characterized by mood that alternated between periods of depression and periods of elation and excitable behavior knows as mania. For people who have bipolar disorder, the depressions can be severe and the mania can seriously impair one’s normal judgement. When manic, a person is prone towards reckless and inapropriate behavior such as engaging in wild spending sprees or having promiscuous sex. He or she may not be able to realize the harm of his/her behavior and may even lose touch with reality. Cyclothymic Disorder – Milder yet more enduring type of bipolar disorder. A person’s mood alternates between a less severe mania (known as hypomania) and a less severe depression. Mood Disorder – General Medical Condition – Depression may be caused or precipitated by a known or unknown physical medical condition such as hypothyroidism. Substance – Induced Mood Disorder – Depression may be caused or precipitated by the use or abuse of substances such as drugs, alcohol, medications, or toxins. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – This condition affects people during specific times or seasons of the year. During winter months individuals feel depressed and lethargic, but during other months their moods may be normal. Postpartum Depression – A rare form of depression occurring in women within one week to six months after giving birth. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder – This is an uncommon type of depression affecting a small percentage of menstruating woman. It is a cyclical condition in which women may feel depressed and irritable for one or two weeks before their menstrual period each month. Adjustment Disorder – Another common type of depression has to do with life changes. Adjustment disorder causes depressed mood, and it can be the result of the death of a loved one, divorce, moving to a different town, or even changing schools. Symptoms of Depression People who are depressed or manic may not experience all of the following symptoms. Some will have many symptoms. Some will have just a few. The severity of symptoms will be different for each individuals and will vary over time. If you are experiencing some of these symptoms or if you have questions about whether you may be depressed or manic, you should consult with your physician or a qualified mental health professional. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, or has made plans to do so, you should seek the help of a mental health professional, call your physician, or call 911. There are several symptoms of depression. Among them are:

Withdrawing from family and friends
Losing interest in social and extracurricular activities
Lack of energy
Feeling tired most of the time
Anxiety
Irritability
Anger
Feelings of sadness for much of the time
Significant weight fluctuations
Sleep pattern changes
Physical pains and aches, or sickness, even though there is nothing physically wrong
Indifference about the future
Afraid of being a burden
Uncharacteristic pessimism
Guilty feelings
Lowering self-esteem
Suicidal thoughts

While these symptoms can be experienced by nearly everyone at some point in life, it is important to be able to tell depression apart from the normal roller coaster of life. ** A general rule of thumb for recognizing depression is that five or more symptoms will persist without break for more than two weeks. Treatment for Depression Depression can be treated. If you are self medicating through substance abuse, over the counter medications, alcohol, cutting or self harm, please speak to a medical professional as soon as possible. Getting help requires you to pick up the phone and make an appointment. Within a couple of weeks you will feel better and you’ll be thankful you made this decision. Everybody is different. For some, therapy alone works well, while for others, medication is needed. Most people respond favorably to a combination of therapy and medication. However, it is important to realize that medication can become habit forming, and that it should only be used while under a doctor’s care, and only as directed. ——————————————————————————- Jeff Yalden is a motivational speaker who speaks to nearly 250,000 people each year in high schools, middle schools, and parent / community presentations. Jeff specializes in teen depression, mental health, and talking to parents about teens and technology – cell phones and the use of social media. Jeff is an expert on the relationship between parents and teenagers and bridges the gap between the two. For more information on Jeff Yalden, please visit www.JeffYalden.com. There you will find out about Jeff’s TV Show coming up, his Radio Show, books, and Podcast. Also, visit Jeff Yalden on YouTube and watch his videos.

Suicide Prevention Training

December 5, 2014 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Radio Show Host – Jeff Yalden

Do you know the signs of depression? Do you know signs of a person ready to commit suicide? Well, Jeff Yalden does and he is doing online training for your staff, parents, teachers, and community members. You need to sign up for this one hour *LIVE* Online Suicide Prevention Training Webinar. If you are a counselor, teacher, parent, mental health professionals, and / or anyone that wants to prevent another teen suicide from happening again, you need to sign up. The purpose of this suicide prevention training is to educate you the Gatekeeper to know how to step in and be the responsible person to handle and intervene preventing another crisis. There is hope and Jeff wants to teach you how to be the hope your community and school needs. You now can help others. Suicide is preventable death. 90% of all suicides are a result of a mental health condition – depression. Two out of five people suffer from depression don’t get help. Depression without proper treatment can be dangerous. Why Jeff? Jeff Yalden has worked in education as a Youth Motivational Speaker for 23 years. Jeff realized a few years ago that he had a platform to talk about his personal life and since opened up. Jeff isn’t just a prevention expert, he is also a person who has been in counseling for 25 years. He suffers from depression, anxiety, diagnosed with bi-polar type 2 and PTSD. Jeff knows what these young people are feeling because Jeff was there. At the age of 16, Jeff suffered from adjustment disorder. Adjustment Disorder is a type of depression. This led him to being hospitalized for thoughts of suicide and depression. At the age of 21, while in the Marine Corps, Jeff again had a bout of Adjustment Disorder putting him in the hospital again. Jeff has been medicated and seeking professional help ever since and you’ve never known for 23 years that Jeff has battled his own demons. You think, “WOW! Jeff Yalden . . . .” Yes, Jeff Yalden! Jeff Yalden sat at the kitchen table with a 9mm and a bottle of pills ready to take his life. He starred death in the eyes, but knew he didn’t want to die. It was 2am and his dad walked downstairs, Jeff said, “I need help!” His parents drove him to the hospital where Jeff was admitted. Jeff will never forget those days. The ambivalent feeling of whether to die or not to die is the feeling Jeff remembers most. On February 26, 1992, while serving in the United States Marine Corps, Jeff Yalden witnessed one of his Marines take a gun to his head and pull the trigger. For nearly 12 hours, Jeff wasn’t allowed to leave the room where the suicide happened. Edged into his memory bank, Jeff remembers that Marine saying to Jeff, “Maybe you are the only one that cares about me!” It’s now 2014 and Jeff is 43 years old. He feels he is a better educator today then ever before. He is highly regarded as one of the top youth motivational speakers in the world. Now he is a certified suicide prevention trainer. His certification became something he wanted to do when day after day, phone call after phone call, Jeff hears about teen suicide and people ask Jeff, “How can you help us?” You can now sign up to take Jeff’s Online Suicide Prevention Training. Go Here Now . . .Sign up Today! One community in Indiana lost 9 teens to suicide in one year. Four teens in six weeks. Who did they call? They called Jeff and immediately Jeff was there to answer questions and bring the teens through the darkest days of their lives.

Suicide Prevention

No administration certificate will ever teach a high school principal how to deal with the loss of a teenager. No masters degree will ever teach a teacher how to deal with the loss of one of his/her students. Jeff Yalden is an outside voice that can say things the staff and administration can’t say. Jeff is sensitive and has a way with words. Yet, when you look at Jeff you see a biker looking 300lb. man with a beard, tattoos, and bald. Twenty three years, teens and teachers have come to love Jeff because of who he is and that he is real and present. Jeff commands a room with his presence, yet when he speaks you know he cares and can share his heart better than anyone. Jeff lives it everyday and helps schools come together and move forward. Why do you think Jeff is the one everyone calls when dealing with loss? Because Jeff is the man that helps educators and staff members bring their kids back and Jeff answers the questions that parents and communities have. Jeff’s theory on teen suicide today makes sense and everyone needs to hear his, “Why teen suicide is becoming an epidemic.” Suicide Prevention is something we shouldn’t shy away from. In 2015 every public school will be required to do Suicide Prevention. Jeff Yalden is the one you want delivering this training that nobody wants to go through. Jeff makes it fun and informative. Jeff teaches the QPR Method of Suicide Prevention.

During the QPR Training, Jeff will discuss:

Emotional reactions to suicide
Facts regarding risk groups of particular concern
Overview of casual factors (depression, substance abuse, relationship problems, gambline, etc.)
How QPR is similar to CPR
Role of communities of faith in suicide prevention
Review common myths and misconceptions

Warning signs

Direct verbal
Indirect verbal
Behavioral
Situational

How to ask the “Suicide” Question

How to Persuade

How to Refer

Conclusion

Question and Answer Period

Jeff Yalden is a radio show host of “The Jeff Yalden Show”, Podcast host of “Inspiring Teens and Empowering Parents.” Jeff also was the celebrity teen and family life coach for MTV MADE and has a new TV Show coming out this summer. More details to come. Find out more about Jeff by visiting www.JeffYalden.com.