Bucks County Technical High School

November 12, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

Youth Motivational Speaker and Teen Mental Health Speaker Plants Seeds at Bucks County Technical High School.

November 12, 2019 – The seniors are arriving into the auditorium. It’s 9 a.m. and I’m back. This auditorium is familiar. I’ve been coming to this school for more than 10 years.

Arrived Bucks County Technical High School

Kevin Gentilcore, Director of Pupil Services is my point of contact. BCTHS was once another client but seeing Mr. Gentilcore annually has become inspirational and what I look forward to now. He’s like my coach – my mentor. I love this man.

I’m out in the hallway watching the seniors come in. I hear words like, “This assembly better not be a waste of time,” which is typical from seniors with fixed mindsets. Nonetheless, I always get inspired when I hear these words from high school students.

In the hallway awaiting the seniors to arrive for the high school motivational assembly…

As a youth motivational speaker, my job is to plant seeds. I’ve learned in 28 years that planting seeds is really all I do. It’s all I have control over.

The younger, egotistical Jeff Yalden used to think he was changing the world. I’m not. I’m planting seeds. It’s more fun thinking this way too.

At 48, you’d think I was too old and can’t relate to young people anymore. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I relate more now than ever before. I’m more present and having more fun. I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I don’t need validation anymore. I care more about the teachable moment.

The seniors take their seats. Mr. Gentilcore is sitting in the back. He knows me, no introduction needed. The students don’t care about introductions. If they want to know me, they can google Jeff Yalden or find me on social media @Jeff Yalden.

Youth Motivational Speaker Needs No Introduction

Introductions make me anxious. This isn’t about me. It’s about the students in front of me.

“Let’s go!”, I think to myself. I’m ready to speak and plant seeds. I’m excited.

From the moment I start, I calculate that roughly 90 percent of the students are giving me their undivided attention. The outlying 10 percent take a minute but quickly become glued and focused.

As I am speaking and I have the attention of 350 seniors, I’m feeling seeds being planted. Words are being heard. I’m getting comfortable in front of my audience. Yes, after 28 years as a youth motivational and teen mental health speaker, I still get nervous speaking in high school assemblies.

An hour and a half later the high school assembly is over.

As the seniors exit the auditorium, I’m standing outside in the hallway in case any student wants to shake my hand and say, “Thank you!” or wants to thank me for my service as a Marine.

Students line up one by one thanking me and telling me how much my words meant to them. With each hand I shake I’m very careful to look each senior or staff member in the eyes, acknowledging that I’m appreciative that they listened. I never want a student or anybody else to walk away thinking, “Jeff Yalden doesn’t care about me.” I’m present and try hard to make sure every handshake includes eye contact, and I say, “Thank you for listening.”

They listened (growth mindset). I did what I love. I spoke to high school students in a student high school assembly. I planted seeds. I love this. It’s what I do, but they chose to listen.

Students Want To talk

It always happens that a few students want to talk privately.

Today, it was five seniors who weren’t expecting to have their emotions moved or shaken. That’s good. A lot of seniors walked out, shaking my hand saying, “Dude, you made me think today!” Good.

Two young ladies I talked to dealing with some heavy stuff. Emotions, thoughts, feelings, their future – lonely, disappointed and dealing with burdensome thoughts. These are typical conversations I have with teens.

Two Things I believe about Teens and their Upbringing

Don’t put teens in positions where they have no control.
Don’t ask teens to have to make adult decisions or to assume adult responsibilities.

I spend about 30 minutes addressing these issues before turning them over to Mr. Gentilcore, knowing he will do the right thing and bring this to the attention of the school counselor.

I am proud of these seniors for sharing. You can’t keep it in forever. It’s okay to talk and what I do is give them permission to address what they’re feeling in their heart. It’s part of planting the seeds I’m talking about.

I also quickly met with three boys who wanted to thank me. They told me how impactful my words were. Pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Why Teens Don’t Open Up

Teens need a trusted and significant adult in their lives, but very few actually have one in place to help guide them through life’s sometimes choppy waters. This is alarming, it’s very common today. This should be concerning to adults who have teens in their lives.

Teens don’t trust adults – even their teachers, counselors or parents. They’re afraid to talk and don’t know how. They’re afraid to be judged and they have built up walls.

Teens are also afraid that their thoughts and feelings will not be validated – and that the adults will only try to fix what they are going through, when they know deep down that they need to face these issues themselves.

What can our teachers, coaches and parents do to show the kids in their lives that they care? Be present. Be real. Share your story so they know you understand what they might be feeling or what they’re going through.

Teens Ask Two Questions

The two questions all teens need answers to are…

Can I trust you?
Do you care about me?

When you show up in a child’s life every day, you answer these questions whether you realize it or not – by your gestures, the way you walk and talk – by your presence and your smile. These things speak louder than words. Be mindful of the message you are sending.

So, the high school assembly at BCTHS is over. Jeff Yalden leaves the building after a hug and a THANK YOU to Mr. Kevin Gentilcore.

High School Assembly Ends

Another great visit. Another great school assembly. Another day speaking to students and PLANTING SEEDS.

Now it’s up to the seniors to do something with the seeds that were planted.

Thanks again, BCTHS. See you next year.

Who is Youth Mental Health Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders.

He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic.

His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults.

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below:

For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below:

Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities

Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Facebook Page

School Resources

Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Teen Suicide & Mental Health Night at Catholic Church in Fishers, Indiana

October 4, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

The Catholic Church and Suicide Prevention?

Jeff Yalden speaks Suicide Prevention in the Catholic Church

Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church invited teen mental health and suicide prevention expert, Jeff Yalden to Fishers, Indiana to speak truth to parents and the congregation about today’s youth and the suicide epidemic plaguing our country. For more than two hours, Jeff mesmerized the nearly 500 people that came from all over the outskirts of Indianapolis to hear his straight talk about today’s teens growing up in the digital age – and the potential adverse effect these devices are having on them. Jeff asked one question before speaking: “What is the Catholic religion’s stance on suicide among its congregation?” Jeff wanted to make sure that he was going to be safe talking about teen suicide in the church, and it turned out that he was. His point of contact and the pastor, Father Dan, were incredible human beings – and they sat with him for an hour before people started arriving. They had a great discussion about God, the church, the people, faith and so much more. “I was so honored and excited after spending this time with Pastor Dan and his leadership team,” Jeff said.

The Catholic Church has changed over the years when it comes to suicide. According to theology of the Catholic Church, suicide is considered a grave matter, an element required for mortal sin. They believed that one’s life is the property of God and that one’s body is a gift to the world. To destroy life is to wrongly assert dominion over what God wanted for his child – and this act of taking one’s life was held as despair over salvation.

Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. – Catechism of the Catholic Church Suicide is seriously contrary to justice, hope, and charity. It is forbidden by the fifth commandment, “Thou shalt not kill.”

As of most recently, the official Catechism of the Catholic Church indicates that the person who committed suicide may not always be fully right in their mind, and thus not 100 percent morally culpable: “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.” Theological author Jonathan MS Pierce puts it this way: “The Catholic Church prays for those who have committed suicide, knowing that Christ shall judge the deceased fairly and justly. The Church also prays for the close relations of the deceased, that the loving and healing touch of God will comfort those torn apart by the impact of the suicide.” In days past, people who made the forever decision to commit suicide were denied a Christian funeral. That’s beyond harsh – and Pope Pius X said, “In the Fifth Commandment God forbids suicide, because man is not the master of his own life no more than of the life of another. Hence the Church punishes suicide by deprivation of Christian burial.” Today, thankfully, it’s understood that God is ultimately the final judge of people places and things – and the Catholic Church has lightened up on its stance on suicide. It’s understood today that God ultimately is the final judge of people, places, and things and thus the Catholic Religion has lightened up its stance on Suicide. National Suicide Prevention Week takes place in September in the United States – where mental health professionals and advocates share tips and advice on suicide prevention – and lay out warning signs, symptoms, myths, facts and more in the hope of stemming the tide and preventing suicide.

Mr. Jarrid Wilson . . . Pastor and Mental Health Advocate Dies by Suicide

In September, pastor and mental health advocate Jarrid Wilson took his life. He was only 30. Just a few hours before his forever decision, he tweeted about Jesus’ compassion for the depressed and suicidal: “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure depression. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure PTSD. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure anxiety. But that doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort. He ALWAYS does that.” This was his last and final tweet before he chose to take his life, leaving behind many fans and followers, a wife and two children. This act of selfishness really hurt Jeff and made him very bitter about who advocates for mental health – and especially those who would also call themselves pastors. Jeff is very protective of this conversation – the conversation around suicide and about eliminating the stigma surrounding it – and feels strongly that whomever advocates must be vigilant about doing the work themselves. If someone with a sizable following is sending a message of hope, that person’s responsibility to others is great. If that person decides to die by suicide, this sends a more powerful message than the original one, the implication being that it was all for naught. “It’s been a tough month.” says Jeff. Wilson had been a long-time advocate for mental health. He and his wife founded “Anthem of Hope,” a Christian outreach for the depressed and suicidal. His death followed that of Pastor Andrew Stoecklein, another young, vibrant evangelical pastor and mental health advocate who committed suicide last year.

Teen Suicide is an Epidemic and The Catholic Church has a Responsibility

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC] reports that suicide rates among working-age Americans (from 16-64) 34 percent between 2000 and 2016. Among Americans aged 10-24, the spike was even more dramatic – CDC data shows a 50 percent increase in suicides in this group between 2000 and 2017. The suicides of these two pastors highlight this concerning upward trend in suicide, especially among young people – even among those who are part of a Christian community. During his visit with the community at Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church, Jeff talked about some things our youth are dealing with today that young people didn’t deal with as few as ten years ago. A key point was the fact that today’s youth are connected 24/7/365 and constantly stressed and anxious – living in a world where they are always comparing their lives to those of others. Jeff says in his book, “Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic” . . . that if you spend more than four to five hours a day on social media or your smartphone you are 70 percent more likely to have major depression in your life.

Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic

Jeff’s book doesn’t get into the psychological sciences and Catholic spirituality, philosophy and theology. Jeff wrote the book as today’s youth think, reason, and act. It is straightforward and to the point, written in a concrete manner that makes it and easy to understand the depth of teens, their brokenness and why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling. Certainly, one of the driving factors of an increase in suicide among teens and young adults is their constant connectedness to the world through smartphones and the social media platforms, combined with a lack of greater meaning in their lives. According to a 2015 article from the peer-reviewed research journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, “frequent social media use in children and teenagers is associated with poor psychological functioning, as it limits their daily face-to-face interactions, impairing their ability to keep and maintain meaningful relationships.” “The lack of coping skills and problem-solving skills make it very difficult for today’s youth who live in the here and the now to understand that not all things are taken care of in the present moment. Our youth don’t understand that today,” says Yalden. One of the biggest suicide prevention tools that communities of faith can provide, Yalden says, is being full communities of faith, where people feel connected and non-judged, valued, and validated as whole people. Our Churches have to be more involved with families, our youth and more present in our communities – but in non-judgmental ways. Every child needs to have a significant and trusted adult they can reach out to and our churches are filled with so many loving and kind people. Our churches are a great place where a difference can be made immediately. Jeff sends a special thank-you to Holy Spirit Parish at Geist Catholic Church and to Pastor Dan and his staff for having this conversation. If you are interested in Jeff coming to your Church or School Community, please visit www.JeffYalden.com. Purchase you copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

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Bucks County Technical High School

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Teen Suicide & Mental Health Night at Catholic Church in Fishers, Indiana

The Catholic Church and Suicide Prevention?

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