4 Tips to Teen Suicide Prevention
It’s another day, but today’s hurt hit hard.
I was in McLean, Virginia where I just did two back-to-back one hour and thirty minute assemblies to 2,000 students in a high school gymnasium. The energy was awesome. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
I finally got out of school to have an hour to myself before I had to head over to Langley High School for my third program of the day. This is when the craziness happened. The minute I turned on my cell phone it was adrenaline and anxiety.
First, I am getting messages of kindness and gratitude for my video to Olathe Northwest High School, where just days ago two teen girls on the girls soccer team and friends, in Olathe, Kansas, had committed suicide within 48 hours of each other. Those messages make me smile. But, there were two messages asking, “Why?” And, “What can we do now?” Those messages hurt because it’s not NOW that we need to do something is the question to be asking. It’s everyday we should be doing something.
Then, I get a Facebook message about another suicide last night at The Pine School in Hobe Sound, Florida. This one was personal and hit my heart. In August, I was brought in to help answer questions from parents and the community and to inspire the high school students getting them focused back to education. We needed to move forward after three weeks of grieving for the loss of a beloved classmate and student council president who without no signs or warnings, made a decision to end his life without leaving anything behind. This devastated the school community of this private, very affluent, quaint little school. It was tough and then I was getting Facebook messages and calls from the parents I had met who’ve become friends.
Next, I went through what I went through back in 1992. Although I wasn’t present in person, I was on the phone when I heard the gunshot.
I didn’t know this person. She called in on my 800# thinking this was the Suicide Hotline. It wasn’t, but I didn’t want to let her go. She was crying and needed help at that moment.
The call came in from a Missouri number and I hear, “Wait, the caller on the line just hung up.” The call comes in again. “Hello?”, I said. They hung up again. Then a third call from a different number in Missouri and it’s this lady crying thinking she got the Suicide Hotline. I put everything down and gave my full attention to this lady. I got her name. She was 32 years old living in St. Louis, MO. I got her to breathe and close her eyes and said, “Jessica, I want to help you. I need you to stay with me and we can work through this together.”
A police officer was coming in my rearview mirror. I flagged him down immediately. While on the phone with this young lady he listened from three feet away.
I needed to calm her down and go through my training before giving her the correct number or better yet knowing in my heart she was going to seek help immediately. I wanted to get all her information so I could do my part from 1,000 miles away.
“I want to help you. I can help you.” I said. We talked for about two minutes when I asked her if she had a plan and if she wanted to die. Her response, “Yes!” I replied, “Do you have a plan as to what you would do and do you have any weapons or drugs in the house now?” Her reply, “Yes!” I stayed calm. I needed her to talk more. I needed to let her know I cared and that it is common to feel pain, but we could work through this and get her help. I asked her if she had a counselor that she sees and could call. I heard silence. “Hello?” I said . . .
I heard a gun shot! There was a silence like I’ve never heard before. It was real. Oh God!
I called the police in St. Louis, MO and told them the ladies name, age, and gave them the phone number. I took a minute and closed my eyes while I took a few deep breaths.
I looked at the officer and he looked at me. He said, “You did a great job! You tried.”
Then I got an email from Garry Sullivan, Assistant Principal at The Pine School and he told me about the boy from his school that committed suicide last night. Said the boy tried calling him twice yesterday afternoon, but his phone didn’t ring. At 9:30 pm he shot himself in the head. Mr. Sullivan felt he could have prevented this suicide. Maybe he could have, but maybe he couldn’t have. We will never know, but we can’t look back and wonder, “If only!”
So, it was a tough day, but on the positive side, I impacted 3,000 high school students in two schools. This is what I do!
I was given a gift from above to Touch Hearts . . . Change Lives! Maybe even save lives too. I have learned that some lives we can’t save and as insensitive as that might sound, I have come to accept it is true. That won’t stop me from trying.
Our Job . . .
So, let’s assume we are all responsible for the morale and spirit within our buildings. Let’s call us Gatekeepers. We can open the gate to someone’s heart with four simple steps to preventing teen suicide. We are Change Agents too. We change lives because we care and we influence others with our kindness and compassion.
I encourage you to find the courage to be aware and to get involved when you need to. Know that you can make a difference and possibly save a life. Know that someone you know could be hurting and they want to know that somebody does care.
Here are four tips that can prevent a suicide from happening and a school from having to deal with the pain and heartache. Suicide doesn’t free a person from the pain. It just transfers the pain to someone else and now they have to have the courage to pick up the pieces and deal with the loss, let alone now get the help they need. Suicide transfers pain from one to another. Suicide is a permanent action to a temporary situation, in most cases. In most cases, suicide can be prevented.
So, let’s get to the point of this blog post. The speed of hurt today for a teen is unfathomable and needs to be taken seriously. Parents, teachers, coaches, community members, and students need to understand how they can help and what they can do.
ACTION PLAN for the Gatekeeper and Change Agents
Let’s assume we are all ready to take on the role of Gatekeeper or Change Agent. We are on alert to a friend or peer that might be hurting and we want to help in the best way we can. Here is what we do:
Identify the Person – Perhaps, you know or see someone that is in pain and doesn’t seem to be their normal self. Now, you have identified someone as a person that potentially, could harm themselves, and you feel you should go to the next step. It takes courage, but all you are doing is saying, “I care about you! I want to help if I can.”
90% of suicides happen where there is a mental disorder or illness that is present within the person. Most of the time it’s depression.
Know the Signs or Symptoms of Teen Depression
Among them are:
Who is Jeff Yalden?
Jeff Yalden is a youth motivational speaker and facilitator of Suicide Prevention Trainings. Jeff has worked with youth, educators, and families for 23 years. He’s the author of Your Life Matters, a radio show host of The Jeff Yalden Show and has a Podcast – Encouraging Parents & Inspiring Teens.
Since 1992, Jeff has traveled 50 states and 48 countries mesmerizing teen audiences with his heartfelt message about Love, Life, and Living. He’s delivered his talk in over 4,000 high schools and middle schools, colleges and universities. He’s been the keynote speaker for hundreds of leadership conferences talking to teens about personal leadership and your influence on others.
Jeff Yalden is an advocate for mental health and teen depression. Being a person that has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, bi-polar type 2, and PTSD, Jeff is passionate about sharing his story and inspiring those in a position to help and inspire others.
Jeff is engaging, charismatic, and real. Your community will be delighted to host Jeff for your teens and parents or a Staff In-Service Training on how to identify, question, persuade, and refer a potential suicidal student to get help. Your audience will laugh, think, and reflect, but ultimately they will leave cheering themselves and their kids on. For more information, visit www.JeffYalden.com. and www.JeffYalden.com/suicide-prevention-training.

- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Losing interest in social and extracurricular activities
- Lack of energy
- Feeling tired most of the time
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Anger
- Feelings of sadness for much of the time
- Significant weight fluctuations
- Sleep pattern changes
- Physical pains and aches, or sickness, even though there is nothing physically wrong
- Indifference about the future
- Afraid of being a burden
- Uncharacteristic pessimism
- Divorce of parents
- Violence in the home
- Inability to find success at school
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Rejection by friends or peers
- Substance abuse
- Death of someone close to the teenager
- The suicide of a friend or someone he or she “knows” online
- Disappointment
- Talks about death and/or suicide (maybe even with a joking manner)
- Plans ways to kill him or herself
- Expresses worries that nobody cares about him or her
- Has attempted suicide in the past
- Dramatic changes in personality and behavior
- Withdraws from interacting with friends and family
- Shows signs of depression
- Shows signs of a substance abuse problem
- Begins to act recklessly and engage in risk-taking behaviors
- Begins to give away sentimental possessions
- Spends time online interacting with people who glamorize suicide and maybe even form suicide pacts

