Jeff Yalden Foundation Archives - Youth Mental Health Motivational Speaker Teen Mental Health Speaker

MENTAL ILLNESS: THE GREATEST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS OF OUR TIME?

January 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part three of a series of principles based on Jeff new new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

We can no longer sweep mental illness under the carpet…

Teen suicide and the opioid crisis are crippling communities on a scale we have never seen. We have major issues on our hands that point to an underlying component of mental illness – and if the stigma surrounding mental illness leads to under-reported suicides, who is to say that an overdose isn’t a suicide? A death certificate might attribute the cause of a death to suicide, but oftentimes we have no idea about intent.

According to USA Today, more than 175 Americans die daily of drug overdoses – which is greater than the number of teens to make the forever decision to take their lives.

What do we do, then? Can we sit idly by and hope the government will step up and do something, or can we empower ourselves by coming up with our own solutions…

Coming up with the answers ourselves seems like a much better idea.

We all need to step up, and that goes double if we are parents. We need to be present – ready and willing to talk about the issues facing our kids in this complicated world.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that some 300 million people worldwide are affected by depression. That number proves that depression is the most common mental health issue – and depression can be the catalyst that leads people to suicide.

Depression falls under the umbrella of mental illness – and if any diagnosis related to mental illness is ignored or left untreated, a quality life of joy and happiness could be very difficult. Is this you?

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Approximately 44,000 Americans die by suicide every year. One person out of 25 who attempt suicide will succeed.

As if the above heartbreaking statistics weren’t enough, suicide takes a heavy toll on the national economy. The Education Development Center at Brandeis University cited research putting the national cost of suicide at $58.4 billion based on reported numbers alone (much of this represented by lost productivity) – but determined that the cost has been significantly underestimated.

“The researchers calculated that the annual public cost of suicide attempts and suicides in the United States is approximately $93.5 billion—nearly twice previously thought. Their study appears in Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, the official journal of the American Association of Suicidology.”

Our teens are suffering, and the number of teen deaths by suicide is rising. It is truly a public health crisis.

Paying close attention to teen mental health is the new normal for us. We – parents, teachers, school staff, coaches and administrators – need to accept this and understand the responsibility we all have.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, call 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Mental Illness: Breaking the Stigma

January 13, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff speaking in Mooresville, NC

OUR SCHOOLS AND MENTAL HEALTH

This blog post is the second in a series based on the principles from my book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

In part one of this series, I talked about eliminating the stigma attached to teen suicide and mental illness. I believe that by talking openly about these issues, we are making enormous progress in this regard. We are beginning to shine a light in the darkness, and we need to get comfortable about being uncomfortable and continuing the conversation.

Your fear of the stigma is part of the illness.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.”

Yes – the stigma is real. The student living with mental illness believes from experience that others won’t be understanding or empathetic about their mental illness. This impacts their desire to ask for the help they know they need. The threat of stigma coupled with the effort to avoid being labeled are so powerful that more than half of the people who would benefit from mental health services never even obtain an initial interview with a professional.

If you are a teen and are suffering, I encourage you to set aside what you believe to be the stigma and reach out to a trusted adult at your school. You will be glad you did.

Schools can be a great resource and most teachers and counselors care deeply about all of their students. Administrators and other key staff are trusted adults and can point you in the right direction with contacts of support in the community.

Sometimes the young people we need to worry about are not necessarily on the school’s radar. Right now, there are students who are silently struggling with mental illness – and they are hesitant to come forward because of the stigma.

This needs to stop. We need to get past this reluctance to come forward.

We are all responsible for this. The more we talk about mental health, the more we demystify the stereotypes. The more comfortable we become, the more people may realize that this is a very serious situation in our country.

THE BOTTOM LINE

More than ever, teens need adult guidance to understand the emotional and physical changes they experience. When teenagers’ moods disrupt their ability to function on a day-to-day basis, this may indicate a serious emotional or mental disorder that needs attention.

Act immediately. Do something. Getting help is OK…

Mental illness is an economic issue and along with raging opioid addiction, it’s becoming the greatest public health crisis of our time.

We must take responsibility and actively work to eliminate the stigma. Talk about mental illness. Talk about teen suicide. It’s OK to share our thoughts and our feelings. It’s OK to be vulnerable.

We need to be present and in tune with what others around us might be going through. We need to work on our emotional intelligence in order to pick up on the cues we might not otherwise notice from others.

When we break the stigma, more people will be comfortable asking for help. Do it for each other. Do it for yourself, your family and your community.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

What Difference Are You Making in the World?

October 14, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Recently, I was in Baudette, Minnesota – near the Canadian border and not too far from Winnipeg.

I was so far north that I saw cars with amphibious tracks on them as they drove through the snow. No kidding – and one of them was a Smart Car.

While I was about to get ready for my day, I came across a VIDEO that a nonprofit called Sandy Hook Promise put together by several family members of victims of the Sandy Hook shootings. These folks have gone on a crusade and are making an incredible difference in the world. I applaud them.

Trigger warning: Here’s the video – but it could be tough to watch:

The video is powerful, and I am still trying to process it – but because of this, I started thinking: What difference are we making in the world?

Listen, maybe you haven’t gone through a gut-wrenching tragedy like Sandy Hook or Parkland, Columbine or any of these mass school shootings. Maybe you’re a mom, a teacher, a coach, a businessperson – a dad, a friend – a youth speaker – a pastor – I don’t know. Maybe you just wake up, go to work and do your thing every day – and the next day and the day after that. That’s beside the point.

It doesn’t matter what you do. My question is simply this: What difference are you making in the world to make it a better place?

You might be thinking, “Well – I really don’t have a platform to do much.” OK. Or, “Well Jeff – I’m really not in that position. Well, Jeff – I’m really focused on my family…”

Good. I understand.

I am a big believer in the “think globally, act locally” course of action. We can make a huge difference right in our own little corners of the world. Think about what you can do – right here, right now.

Maybe you are a parent. It’s important to put your family first. Let’s say you go to your child’s sports events. I think you can make a difference in the type of parent and fan you are by being supportive of everybody else’s kids too. And stop screaming at the referees if you think they made a bad call. You can choose to be objective and understand that the refs have a tough job to make calls on the spot and they are not always perfect.

But the bottom line is that we should support and applaud our refs and our coaches – and we honor the work that they are doing every single day. I think that’s making a difference in the world.

What about if you work with other people every day in your job? I think your attitude and your behavior make a difference. For those in education, you’ve got young people under your watch every single day. You are making a difference by being supportive and encouraging, knowing that your words and actions make a huge impact in the life of a child.

Everybody has an opportunity to make a difference in the world – and this means you. It doesn’t have to me a monumental thing, either. Think about your sphere of influence – your words, your actions, your attitude and your kindness – being a person of selfless service and acting with grace.

I don’t know what this looks like for you – but you don’t need to overthink the issue. When you walk into a restaurant, hold the door open for somebody. When a car stops to allow you to cross the street – wave at the driver. Say “thank you.”

When I was in Baudette, I was standing in line in a convenience store, getting an Arnold Palmer (half iced tea and half lemonade). I was the fifth person in line, so I watched the four people in front of me as they got rung up. As the cashier said, “can I help you” and “have a nice day,” not one of these people so much as said “hi” or “thank you.”

Not one of these people – grownups who should know better – said anything.

Wow.

If we’re looking to make a difference in the world, my friends, it’s sometimes a simple nod, a smile, a “thank you” or “have a great day.” That’s it.

These simple gestures have a ripple effect – radiating outward from you and into the lives of others.

Now go out there and make a difference.

This blog post has been adapted from an upcoming episode of Jeff’s podcast, Mental Health and Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach. Click HERE to subscribe.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE.

ORDER your copy of Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, call Betty at 800-948-9289.

JEFF YALDEN REACHES OUT TO THE BROOKFIELD, MISSOURI SCHOOL COMMUNITY

May 18, 2018 by Roger Yale

Jeff Yalden’s heart sank when he heard the news of two completed suicides and one suicide attempt last month in Brookfield, Missouri. Two more young lives cut short by what he calls the “forever decision” in an area that has suffered too much loss already. Yalden is a teen mental health and youth motivational speaker. He is also a teen suicide and crisis intervention expert. For more than 25 years, he has worked in the trenches of communities hit hard by suicide contagion, and has proven to be effective in preventing further suicides and bringing hope to communities that have lost hope. Yalden visited the Brookfield school community a year ago, and remains friends with Angie Smith Wallace, a STUCO advisor and teacher at Brookfield High School. Wallace also founded the Taylor Gilpin Wallace Foundation for Suicide Prevention on behalf of her son after her son made the forever decision to take his own life. In the above video, Yalden reached out because several people in the community reached out to him. “Words can’t adequately describe the pain I feel in my heart when I hear of the death of a young person, or in your case the many losses your community has felt over the past year,” he said. “I can tell you now that you might not be done, but you have to do something immediately.” In the video, Yalden laid out the two questions that young people need to have answered by the trusted adults in their lives: Can I trust you? Do you care about me? He also talked about the fact that most young people don’t want adults to fix their problems. “They want to feel validated that what they are thinking and feeling is normal. Growing up and understanding is on their terms, and today’s teens are growing up differently than their parents did.” For more about this, check out Yalden’s TEDx talk HERE. The factors contributing to suicide, put forth by Dr. Thomas Joiner at Florida State University, are three-fold: “I am alone.” “I am a burden.” “I have the desire for suicide.” “Teens don’t want to die,” said Yalden. “They live in the here-and-now, and see solutions to their problems as so far out there that they can’t solve in the now, so the pain of ‘I am alone’ and ‘I am a burden’ carries on day after day, week after week – and they get discouraged with never being happy.”

Yalden said that leads to a persistent form of depression called dysthymia, which could lead to the desire for suicide. “Teens need relationships. They need trusted adults that are patient, giving of their time, understanding, supportive, and love them unconditionally,” he said, adding that it is imperative that we teach them coping skills and problem-solving skills and instill in them the importance of balance and boundaries, especially when it comes to social media, the Internet and YouTube. Too much exposure to social media, as Yalden explains in this video, can also cause depression and other mental health issues in our teens. Mental illness threatens to become the biggest public health crisis in America, and this is no longer a family issue, according to Yalden. This is an economic issue. He said that mental illness and depression factor into 90 percent of suicides – and many suicides are preceded by factors that we don’t even notice. “Why should we notice it when we weren’t even looking for it,” he said. “The individuals that are on the schools’ radars aren’t necessarily the ones we need to look out for. A lot of school communities have said to me, ‘Jeff, we didn’t even know there was a problem. There were no signs. This is the last person we would have suspected.’” As a man who proudly lives with mental illness every day, Yalden is all about crushing the stigma attached to it. “It’s OK to ask for help!” Yalden can’t overemphasize the importance of a healthy self-esteem. “I promise – on the other side of fear is self-esteem. Don’t let anyone take that from you. You have to do the work, though,” he said. He said that this very sad time affects us all – and this is a time that will shape us. “This will either expose wounds or build muscles. It’s your choice how you respond. Allow yourself to grieve on your terms. I am so sorry and thinking of you all,” he said. For more information, go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit HERE. To book Jeff now, call (800) 948-9289.

A WHIRLWIND DAY IN RURAL OHIO

February 24, 2018 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Newcomerstown, Ohio is a small rural community just north of Appalachia. I was invited to spend the day with Newcomerstown Exempted Village Schools and heard that nearly 80 percent of the students there were receiving free or reduced lunches. I hear that stuff all the time but have never let that influence how I look at the kids or the community. I arrived on February 20 at 6:50 in the morning for a seven o’clock meeting with the administrative team and was astonished to learn that all these people were born and raised in this area. They had grown up, graduated, gone out into the world and came back. It was that kind of community. I love that. We had a great hour-long meeting, and I listened – learning about who they were, their needs, and how they value their kids. It was an awesome way to start my day. My first impression was from high school principal Josh Branch, who texted me about parking in the pharmacy lot across the street and come in through the front doors, which I did. Three steps into the building, I noticed the lockers – many of which were decorated with inspirational quotes and messages of kindness from students to their peers. The walls were also filled with uplifting posters and decorations.

Shortly thereafter, I met the young ladies who were responsible for such awesomeness. I assumed that they had put everything up the night before and asked them how long it took them to do this. It turns out that these young ladies decorated their peers’ lockers in October, and the kids hadn’t removed anything – everything still looked new. I was amazed. At this point, I knew that this day was going to be awesome. My first assembly was for middle schoolers. I spent two hours in the auditorium with sixth, seventh and eighth graders. Did I ever mention that I should request a shower after my talks? I sweat a little too much. These kids were amazing. We didn’t waste any time with an introduction. I just said, “BOOM – Lives are going to change,” and sure enough, a bunch of students lined up afterward to shake my hand. Some told me that I changed their lives. A few of them wanted to talk about their lives, and they did. I heard about a group of girls that called their group “different.” I found out that they were very smart and mature for their age, and all had lovely hearts. However, they secretly talked to each other about their thoughts and feelings. This was a circle of trust in which they talked candidly about suicide and self-harm. Imagine being in the sixth grade and hearing this stuff about each other. Then it happened. I was summoned to the office and told about a self-inflicted gunshot incident that morning at Jackson Middle School, about 40 miles away. A seventh-grade boy brought a rifle to school and shot himself in a restroom there. [UPDATE: He died the next day. No additional details have been released, and an investigation is underway.] After processing this, we had to get back to work at Newcomerstown. But it didn’t take long before a couple kids came running in and told us about an incident in the auditorium concerning a female student. Now we have the young girl in the office, and a couple of her friends are in other offices. School personnel responded very well – calmly and on top of things. This is the team that I would want looking out for my kids. This isn’t my first rodeo, but it was incredible to see well they worked and how open their hearts were. I was very impressed. This incident took a couple hours of our attention – talking to kids, parents coming in and figuring out who knew what. The whirlwind day continued with another two-hour assembly – this time for the high school students. If I were to travel with a camera crew you’d see and hear stories that would break your heart. I love what I do. It’s amazing giving these kids hope and support, but gosh, it can be tough hearing their pain and home lives. I met with the teachers after school for 45 minutes. At six o’clock, I gave a presentation for parents. More than a dozen mental health and other agencies had tables set up as well. It was impressive to see the support for a school community that wanted to be proactive about the issues their students face every day. We had 125 people come out for the event, and I think that was a great turnout. We spent an incredible two hours talking about parenting, teen mental health, social media and the signs and symptoms related to teen suicide. It was after nine when I was finally saying my goodbyes – and we all just sat in the auditorium, thanking each other. I love my job. For more information, go HERE. To book Jeff now, call (800) 948-9289

The Peanut Incident: Why It’s Better to Ask than to Assume

January 3, 2018 by Roger Yale

Most of us have heard the old adage, “If you assume, you make an ASS out of YOU and ME.” It’s a staple in journalism school, but more importantly, the wrong assumption can send your mental state into a downward spiral – sometimes resulting in anger or resentment – or both.

Mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden says that the ability to walk away from a situation without letting it trigger a negative emotion like anger is key to living your BOOM life. Recently, Jeff was on a plane from Charlotte, North Carolina, to Kansas City. He had a Gatorade with him, and when the flight attendant asked him if he wanted anything while in-flight, he thanked her and said he was all set. But then the warm peanuts came around, Jeff wasn’t offered any. As he mentioned in episode 61 of The BOOM Podcast, he knows this sounds almost like a non-issue, but it didn’t seem like a non-issue at the time. “When you have bipolar and anxiety, triggers like this really hit you – and by the way I love those warm peanuts you get on the plane,” he said. Even though the flight attendant also offered everyone in first class warm towel, including Jeff (which he declined), it felt weird that everybody got the warm peanuts but him. He decided not to say anything because he didn’t want to seem like a ten-year-old who didn’t get his candy – but somewhere in his emotions was the inkling that he might have done something wrong – as if the peanut exclusion was some sort of punishment. Jeff is a man who lives with mental illness every day, and he was grateful to keep his emotions in check by repeatedly telling himself to let it go, and this was not a big deal. But for something that isn’t a big deal, this perceived exclusion happens to many of us, especially on social media. Let’s say you see a post from a friend who is having a great time at an event with other friends, some of whom you know. The first thought might be that you have been excluded for some reason. You weren’t tagged, and you certainly weren’t out with them. Did you do or say something to hurt this person’s feelings? “There are little things in everyday life that can affect you, and you start wondering if you did something. My friends, sometimes we just need to let it go,” he said.

To the flight attendant’s credit, maybe she took to heart what Jeff said in his first encounter with her – that he was all set. She offered him a chocolate chip cookie when the flight was about to land, but he politely declined. “Getting off the plane, she was like, ‘have a great day, sir.’” Let it go. “Don’t compare one situation to another situation,” he said. “Don’t compare your life to someone else’s life. I think sometimes when we do that, we raise our anxiety and stress us out more than we need to. If you haven’t heard from someone for a couple of hours, it’s no big deal. “We are all busy. We are all trying to work hard – but if you think that maybe you have hurt someone’s feelings – ask them.” More times than not, you will come to know that it’s not about you. To listen to this episode of The BOOM Podcast, go HERE. Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 14

January 1, 2018 by Roger Yale

In Episode 60 of The BOOM Podcast, mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden encourages you to bring the BOOM into your life – whether it’s a factor or an effect – but if you can align that BOOM with a purpose, and that purpose makes you happy every day, even better.

Day 14 of the “Attitude of Gratitude” series is all about purpose and fulfillment. “If you knew me when I was younger, and you would have ever thought then that I’d be doing what I’m doing now – there’s no stinkin’ way,” he said, but he added that he is proud of the work he does because it’s fulfilling, meaningful and very rewarding. Jeff said being happy personally is not the same as being happy professionally, but if you are not happy professionally, you will have a tough time feeling fulfilled. “You have got to determine whether you are happy or not, and one of the ways for happiness to be fulfilling is to do something in life that is bigger than you. Serve this world or your community or your family in a way that, every single day, you feel like you are not stressed because you are living a purpose that is so big.”

Find what you are grateful for, and this can serve as a roadmap to fulfillment. Jeff shares a couple of examples of this in his life where his purpose is bigger than himself. “Carolina Forest High School here in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, had a student make that forever decision about a week ago. I sent a message to the school and I offered my prayers and thoughts. I said I was sorry, and if there was anything I could do, please let me know.” Because he reached out, Jeff was able to do presentation at the school. “I feel very fulfilled in my heart that I got to do that,” he said. He also recently spent two days in Killingly, Connecticut, where the local community lost five people in the past year. “In those two days, I had some very meaningful conversations with the student body, the counselors and social workers and the administration – and I got to talk to some students one-on-one.” He also participated in a home visit for a person whose roommate overdosed and died that very day. “We got to go to the house to just let this person know – ‘we care about you and we just want to make sure that you are OK as you go through this process over the next couple of days.’” He finished up his time in Killingly by watching the local high school continue to go undefeated against a rival team from Hartford that had three Division 1 athletes on the team. “It was cold, but it was beautiful to watch those kids of character and, resilience and perseverance,” he said. What can you do that is bigger than you? “When you find something to do that gives you a beautiful purpose, your life is going to change,” he said. Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 13

December 31, 2017 by Roger Yale

Years ago, Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden was walking toward his gate at Pittsburgh International Airport when he caught sight of Bill Cowher, then the head coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Jeff’s first inclination was to go up and shake Cowher’s hand, but he wavered for a moment because he thought most everybody wanted Cowher’s time and he likely didn’t want to be bothered. But he decided to approach Cowher anyway. The iconic coach was with his wife, Kaye Cowher, who died in 2010. “I will never forget that moment,” he said. “Bill Cowher stopped and turned toward me, and his wife engaged in the conversation. They probably gave me 20 seconds, and 20 seconds is a long time. I introduced myself and told him I was a big fan. He looked me in the eye. His wife smiled, but I remember him smiling and saying, ‘thank you.’” Day 13 of the “Attitude of Gratitude” series is all about exposing the truth, and how the little things will hold you accountable. Jeff recorded this episode of The BOOM Podcast in Reno, where he was the keynote speaker for one of the regional Student Council (STUCO) conferences in Nevada. He arrived early at the hosting high school, got set up for the event, and met the principal. “I went to shake his hand,” he said. “It was a good handshake, but he gave me that ‘looking away’ handshake.” This moment turned into a later defining conversation between Jeff and the principal. “I asked the principal if there was anything he wanted me to share in my message, and he was telling me about social media and first impressions.” Obviously, the door was wide-open for Jeff to bring up his earlier first-impression – that handshake. “I took a great risk, but I tried to be tactful,” he said. “I explained the handshake we had, and I explained to him exactly what he did. He didn’t realize he had done that.”

The point is this: ‘I know you’re busy. I’m busy too. I know we’re grinding so hard every single day and that sometimes we need stop and be present.” Jeff recalled a similar moment when a young man bought one of his books after a school presentation a while back. “Apparently, I didn’t acknowledge him – and I remember getting an email from him, just blasting me. I reached out to the school and to the advisor of this young student. I tried to do everything I could. I sent books, t-shirts, posters, pictures. That young man wanted nothing to do with me because of that one moment.” According to Jeff, sometimes that first impression is a lasting impression. Always remember that a little kindness and common courtesy go a long way. “My moment of gratitude today is recognizing that it’s the little things every single day.” Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 12

December 30, 2017 by Roger Yale

If you can count your true friends on one hand, consider yourself wealthy. In Episode 58 of The BOOM Podcast, mental health speaker and Amazon bestselling author Jeff Yalden continues to lay out his 28-Day “Attitude of Gratitude” series. Day 12 is all about self-awareness.

Are you loved? Hated? A little of both? Self-aware people know where they stand with others. Jeff has a close circle of friends that he knows he can call if he ever needs them – and any of these friends would be there for him in a heartbeat. “I consider myself a very wealthy person, but I think it’s also important to understand and to be OK with the fact that not everybody will like you,” he said. An interesting question to ponder is this: Do we change who we are to meet their approval, or do we continue being who we are in our lives’ journeys? Your journey is not somebody else’s journey. “Listen: There are a lot of people that don’t like me, and there are a lot of people that don’t like you – but here’s the thing: Are we going to live our lives every single day, giving these people the power over our emotions, or are we going to realize that there are people that just don’t like us? People might not like you because you are different from them. Being different is OK.

“But if people don’t like you because you are a straight-up ass, I think you really need to look at the type of person you are, because there might be a lot of other people with valid reasons for not liking you – and if that’s the case, I don’t see that you live a very happy life.” Jeff knows that he can be loud, opinionated and selfish with his time, but in his self-awareness, he knows his intentions are pure. “I’ve got a big heart. Maybe too big – so I can’t really be affected by people that don’t like me. You might not like me because I’ve made mistakes in the past. I have. I’ve hurt people in the past, and I’m sorry,” he said. “Have you ever said something to someone you wish you didn’t say? Have you ever done something you wish you didn’t do?” We all have, haven’t we? “I can’t dwell on the past. I can kind of look at the past as a rear-view mirror. It’s just used to check out the past, but you don’t live there long,” he said. But if you have hurt somebody, Jeff recommends reaching out to them and apologizing if you can. “Now it’s up to them to accept your apology and maybe give you forgiveness – which I think most people probably would – but there are also a lot of people who might not.” But at this point, it’s no longer about you. The ball is in their court now. You have attempted to make amends, and if forgiveness doesn’t come, that’s their issue. There is nothing more for you to do. “In being self-aware, I think it’s important to know who you are – but it’s just as important to know who you are not. In being aware of who you are not, you are also choosing to live in a way that you are not going to live your life to meet the approval of other people,” he said. Jeff said that if you can forgive, and if you can apologize and ask for forgiveness from the people you may have hurt, that’s a very powerful place to be. “When you look in the mirror, the big question is this: Are you as beautiful a person on the inside as you are on the outside? That’s the question that you must answer.” When Jeff recorded this podcast episode, he was getting ready to head to Reno, Nevada for a speaking gig. “I’m going to reflect on the plane – about who I am as a man – who I am as a significant other – who I am as a leader in my community and a leader in my field of work – and I want to challenge you to do the same thing. The question is: Do you like yourself? Because that’s what matters the most.” Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 11

December 29, 2017 by Roger Yale

When mental health speaker and Amazon Bestselling author Jeff Yalden recorded Episode 57 of The BOOM Podcast, he found himself at home in the beautiful Myrtle Beach area – enjoying some quality time and chilling on his patio and planning his day. Then it hit him: This was November 10, also known as the Marine Corps Birthday, which is now 242 years old.

As many of you know, Jeff served as a United States Marine during the Gulf War. What an awesome time to be recording a podcast episode about gratitude! “Oorah! Semper Fi to all of my fellow marines that I served with,” he said, adding that this shout-out went to those who served before, who are serving now or thinking about serving in the future – and he extended his thanks to all servicemembers. “You are serving our country, and you are giving us the very freedom that so many of us take for granted every single day. Thank you.” And while he was on the subject of gratitude for those who serve – Jeff broadened his scope to include other folks who are of service to a purpose greater than self – who toil selflessly every day to make sure that others are taken care of.

SERVE A PURPOSE GREATER THAN SELF

“Here’s my question: What are you doing in life that makes your community a little bit better? What do you do? What is your service to a purpose that is bigger than you? Think about that.” Every day, Jeff asks himself the following three questions:Is my life meaningful?

Is my life meaningful?
Is my life fulfilling?
Is my life rewarding?

“I challenge you to ask yourself those three questions – and if you can’t say yes to those three questions, I challenge you to make a change. The greatest change that you can make is finding a purpose in life that is bigger than you.” For Jeff, as it should be for you, gratitude is feeling good in your heart for something that you are receiving, but it can also be something that you are giving through service to others. What are you grateful for?

“Sometimes we live our lives so fast that we forget just the little things. Remember this: Fast is slow and slow is fast. Just stop, take it all in – breathe, feel and appreciate – because health is not health unless we first have our mental health.” Jeff says it’s imperative that we lower the anxiety we experience every day, and get to the heart of what is bothering us and taking up space in our heads. “If you go out every single day and you are living at about a seven out of ten on the anxiety scale – how productive are you, really?” Instead, start your day with a self-care routine – reflecting on the things you appreciate. Don’t be like 99 percent of the people who are on autopilot – merely going through the motions. That’s not living. “Wake up every day with a purpose, my friends. Wake up every single day with love in your heart. Wake up every day knowing that life is a challenge – but as much as life is a challenge, life is also a blessing.” Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go HERE. Check out Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION. Jeff’s speaking calendar fills up fast. To book him now for your event, organization or school now, call 800-948-9289. For a limited time, you can own Jeff’s new book, Your Life Matters, for only $0.99 on KINDLE. SUBSCRIBE to The BOOM Podcast. JOIN the BOOM Nation Facebook Group and share your BOOM moments with us.

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