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You are here: Home / Archives for Bullying

The Speed of Hurt

May 11, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker Leave a Comment

Teens experience pain as fast as the flip of a switch – and the speed of hurt hits them as swiftly as turning on a light.

Often, terrible situations can lead to teen suicide – but we need to be vigilant when observing changes – even small changes – in the behavior of the young people in our circles. Sometimes, events that an adult might brush off as part of the process of daily life might be viewed as catastrophic by a teen – simply because they do not yet have the coping skills in place to deal with them.

The inability to cope with life’s challenges can be a major stumbling block for today’s youth – particularly because they do not yet possess the life skills necessary to deal with the obstacles and challenges they might face.

As a society, we have hit critical mass – and we need to start talking about it. We need to get comfortable being uncomfortable and give voice to the issues facing us; teen suicide, the opiate crisis and substance abuse in general, including alcohol.

The above issues factor into what is quickly becoming the biggest public health crisis of our time. While many factors contribute to teen suicide, often the underlying issue is mental illness.

It is rare that only a single event leads to suicide – bullying or cyberbullying, for instance. But a single event can be the final straw.

As a parent, teacher, or coach, be sure to focus on building strong coping and problem-solving skills in your young people. Nurture a healthy self-esteem, and they will flourish.

If your children value themselves from a place of certainty, they will be much less likely to allow others to have power over them, including bullies.

Life is not a race. It’s about being patient in the process.

Slow down. Breathe.

Perfection doesn’t exist, but I’d still like to think I can make a perfect rack of ribs.

NOTE: The above content is Part Seven in a series based on Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic. Click on link to order.

CLICK HERE for Jeff’s online suicide prevention course.

Filed Under: Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Bullying, Coping Skills, Jeff Yalden. Mental Health Speaker, Self-Esteem, Teen Suicide Prevention, Yalden

Imagine a School where Bullying didn’t exist . . . Could you?

September 13, 2016 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Imagine if the Zero Tolerance Policy in schools existed and were enforced.  Here is a solution where everyone becomes accountable, but first everyone has to understand that everyone is human and has the need for purpose and acceptance.  We need to teach a culture of compassion.  This is the ABC’s of Bullying Prevention. Bullying – The ABC’s of Ending Bullying from Jeff Yalden on Vimeo. For more information about Jeff Yalden speaking to Middle School Assemblies and High School Assemblies please visit Youth Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden’s website at www.JeffYalden.com.

Filed Under: Motivational Minutes, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Bullying, Bullying in Schools, Bullying Prevention, Education, Schools, Stop Bullying

3 Ways to Accept Others for Who They Are

July 26, 2016 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Hey friends, Jeff Yalden here. You know, for many years I always thought my way was the right way. Tell me I’m not the only one, right? I had a moment a month ago or so – where I learned to live and let live and that I need to accept things for the way they are rather than the way we think they should be. Likewise, we need to accept others for who they are rather than who we want them to be. Make sense? Summertime brings family and friends together for BBQ’s, parties, and great times. During these times of celebration, we sometimes find ourselves not being fully present. When we are not fully present we don’t allow ourselves to truly be ourselves and love openly and enjoy the time we have together because we get sidetracked in our minds or in reality, because:
  • We spend time worrying about whether we have others’ approval or how we can get it
  • We spend time trying to convince others that our way is right and their way is wrong
  • We get caught up in thinking and behavior patterns of an older version of ourselves
  • We see others according to our labels and judgements of them, rather than who they really are
When we feel any of these patterns bubbling up inside us, we can bring ourselves back to what is truly important, by remembering:
  1. Everyone has their own path that is right and true for them. We all have a way of living and approaching each day that works for us. And it’s natural for us to want others, especially those we love, to follow our path too. It’s important to recognize though, that trying to convince others that our way is best, will usually lead to disappointment. On the contrary, change can surprisingly and naturally occur in others when we stay true to our own path, without trying to change a thing about theirs. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too.
  1. We can still show love to others when we disagree with their way. Just because we don’t agree with how someone else lives their life, it doesn’t mean we have to change how we interact with them and whether or not we extend love and care towards them. Rather than being threatened, dismayed or frustrated by our differences, we can celebrate them.
What is it that you can learn from their way? What has it brought to your attention, and how does it illuminate changes you’d love to make within yourself? When we honor others for who they are (and even see parts of ourselves in them), we can love them more. When we accept others, we also become more accepting of ourselves.
  1. Rather than trying to change others, focus on yourself. We empower ourselves when we shift attention away from how others live, and place our awareness on our own lives.
So, let me ask you . . . where, in your own life, could you be more accepting towards yourself? Are you honoring your own path and being true to yourself? Could you let go of wanting to change others, and….could you let go of wanting to change yourself? What would happen if you were at peace with how things are right now? When we take the time to look within, it becomes easier to stay centered in who we are and accept, no matter what the path, that we are all essentially the same. Think for a moment. If you were free of your past, worries, judgements and labels in relation to others, how might your relationships shift? I’d love to hear about your experience of holding this intention, and whether it helps you celebrate with others and your journey with more love, presence, and whole-heartedness.   I’m Jeff Yalden . . . I hope you enjoyed this message. God Bless You and God Bless America.   Jeff Yalden is an award winning mental health speaker and youth motivational speaker.  He’s the author of several books.  You can learn more about Jeff by visiting his website at www.JeffYalden.com.

Filed Under: For Parents, Motivational Minutes Tagged With: Acceptance, Bullying, Corporate Wellness, Counseling, Family, Jeff Yalden, Leadership Speaker, Love, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Mental Health Speakers, Relationships, Teens, Therapy, Youth, Youth Motivational Speaker

Texting Acronyms for Parents of Teens

January 2, 2015 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Parents – Don’t be fooled by the following acronyms your teens are using as they text their friends.  Here is a short list of the ever changing world of technology. 
For Teens and Internet, please follow: Kim Komando.
Warning: Can be shocking to some! Your kid has something to hide CD9: Short for “Code 9,” which means parents are around. KPC: Keeping Parents Clueless MOS: Mom Over Shoulder P911: Parent Alert PAL: Parents Are Listening PAW: Parents Are Watching PIR: Parent In Room POS: Parent Over Shoulder Your kid’s personal information or safety is at risk ASL: Age/Sex/Location F2F: Face to Face. Asking for a meeting or video chat LMIRL: Let’s Meet In Real Life NAZ: Name/Address/ZIP MOOS: Member of the Opposite Sex MOSS: Member of the Same Sex MORF or RUMORF: Male or Female, or Are Your Male or Female? RU/18: Are You Over 18? WUF: Where You From? WYCM: Will You Call Me? WYRN: What’s Your Real Name? Your kid shouldn’t be involved in this 143, 459 or ILU: I love you 1174: Invited to a wild party 420: Marijuana GNOC: Get Naked On Cam GYPO: Get Your Pants Off AMEZRU: I Am Easy, Are You? IWSN: I Want Sex Now KFY or K4Y: Kiss For You KOTL: Kiss On The Lips NIFOC: Nude In Front Of The Computer RUH: Are You Horny? TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me Not every acronym is bad BRB: Be Right Back CWYL: Chat With You Later CYT: See You Tomorrow IMHO: In My Humble Opinion IMNSHO: In My Not So Humble Opinion L8R: Later LMK: Let Me Know NM: Never Mind ROTFL: Rolling On The Floor Laughing SOHF: Sense Of Humor Failure If you’re curious about another acronym that you’ve stumbled across in your kids’ texts or chat, look it up on NetLingo. It has a continually updating list of online acronyms, along with their various meanings and origins. As any parent will tell you, dealing with teenagers and preteens is a fine balancing act. You want to give them freedom to explore, but you also need to keep tabs on what they’re doing. Click here for 5 dangerous apps you don’t know your kid is using. I recommend friending or following your kids on any sites they use. If they know you’re watching, they’re less likely to do something they shouldn’t. Plus, you can keep an eye to make sure they aren’t revealing information they shouldn’t or talking to people who aren’t safe. Of course, you never know what sites they might be using that you don’t know about. That’s where monitoring and tracking apps and software come in handy. You can keep tabs on everything they do online. Just be sure to communicate with your kids about why certain sites are bad so they can grow into responsible digital citizens. In fact, you should start before they’re teens with my 10 Commandments for Kids Online. It’s a contract between you and your child about the do’s and don’ts of our digital life. Jeff Yalden is a youth motivational speaker and celebrity teen and family life coach.  Visit Jeff at www.JeffYalden.com.

Filed Under: For Parents Tagged With: Bullying, Cell Phones, Counselors, Depression, Digital Age, Education, High School, Jeff, Mental Health, Motivational, Parenting, Parents, Sexting, Technology for Teens, Teens, Texting, Yalden, Youth Speaker

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