Why Teens Kill Themselves
When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t planning on writing about why teens kill themselves.
I planned to slowly wake up, watch “Good Morning America” and make my way into the office without a plan.
But things change quickly, and here I am doing just that. Let’s save some lives…
I got three phone calls from three different school communities and it wasn’t yet noon. Each one of these schools had a teen suicide on campus within the past few weeks. What I heard from each individual was similar; “Jeff, do you know anything about the epidemic our community is having?”
“No. I have not heard,” I responded.
How could anybody think teen suicide is an epidemic only in their communities? They have now decided to address the heartbreaking issue of why teens are killing themselves. These kinds of phone calls are quite common and also a bit perplexing. Teen suicide is a daily occurrence around the world, and it takes place everywhere – including school communities where you would never expect it to happen. I know this because my office phone rings every day. It’s bothersome because with every phone call it seems like this is only important only after they’ve lost a student to suicide.
[Read more…]
If your parents aren’t going to say no and teach you balance and boundaries – it’s hard for you to put that balance and those boundaries in your life – but that’s something that you have to start working on.
Social and emotional learning does not come as a result of being on the screen all of the time. Online time can affect mental health in a negative way. Social engagement social interaction can help your mental health.
Think about it.
Two of the biggest things that we are concerned about with teenagers today are coping skills and problem-solving skills. We live in the here and the now. We think that we go to the bank and an ATM spits out cash. We send a text and get an immediate reply…
Again – Atchison, Kansas – I don’t know the details on this young man. But I will tell you this: It’s going to be OK.
My friends, it’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK to want to talk to somebody. I meet young people all the time and they say, “Yo – I don’t want to talk to anybody because every time I talk to someone, it’s like they are telling me my emotions don’t matter. I shouldn’t feel like this, and it’s like they aren’t validating how I feel.”
Part of being young is about having crazy emotions and feelings – and not understanding them.
And it’s OK to have that trusted adult to go talk to.
I spoke at a school in Indiana today, and a girl wanted to talk afterwards. The girl has been in counseling for two years. Do you know that today she told me more than her two counselors knew about her? I asked her why she felt comfortable telling me what she did.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You seem like you get it.”
Don’t you think you have trusted adults in your life that – if you gave them the chance – they would get it too?
Folks – we can’t help you if we don’t know.
“Well Jeff – I don’t know how to talk to someone…”
When you didn’t know how to ride a bike, that didn’t stop you, did it?
When you didn’t know how to ask a girl out – you still found a way, right?
When trusted adults in your life sit down with you and something is wrong, they know what to say. You just have to be willing to just go up to them and say, “I don’t know what to say but I am kind of really struggling.”
When I spoke to that child today, I can’t tell you how many times she said, “I don’t know” in tears – and you know what I did? I just kept asking her if she felt safe and if she knew she wasn’t in trouble.
As long as she knew those two things – little by little, she opened up. It was a beautiful day.
My point is simply this: Suicide is a permanent action to a temporary problem.
If you are afraid to talk to a trusted adult and you don’t open up to anybody – and living in the here and the now – all of this pressure is so much that you start to think that the desire is there – but it doesn’t ever need to get to the point where you have that desire.
But you have to have the courage to realize that it’s OK to go talk to somebody.
I am praying for you. I’m sorry, and I love you guys.
Don’t be afraid to open your heart and find a trusted adult. And they are going to support you and encourage you – but you have to open up.
For more information, visit 
You might be wondering what this has to do with an Attitude of Gratitude.
“I spend a lot of money traveling all over the world, doing the work that I do, and I’m t hinking that I have got to get to my flight, because Concordia College had a suicide about a month ago. I had to speak to these young people tonight and do my thing.”
But he was surely going to miss his flight.
“I kept believing and asking questions, and some of the American Airlines agents said they were sorry, but there was nothing they could do.”
But Jeff kept asking, and he finally asked the right person – a lady who took charge, walked him through TSA and right up to the gate – where they checked his bag.
He was the first one on the plane to Minneapolis.
Another kicker is the fact that he thought he was speaking at Concordia University in St. Paul, Minnesota but found out when he landed in Minneapolis that he was in fact specking at Concordia College in the twin cities of Moorhead, Minnesota and Fargo, North Dakota.
He made it.
Jeff realizes that it might seem a bit narcissistic; flying first class and enjoying the privileges of frequent air travel – and with everything going in the world, he should be grateful to simply be alive.
“I get it,” he said. “I pray every day for the people – whether it be the victims of the Las Vegas massacre, or the [recent church massacre] in Sutherland Springs, Texas. I understand. For millions of people, life goes on – and for many people, life stands still, and I am sorry.”
As he was getting ready to speak in Fargo, he got a text from a friend that a young man in the Carolina Forest area of Myrtle Beach made that forever decision and hung himself that very day.
“My friends, we live in a very uncertain time. If we let all of this affect us every single day, it’s going to take its toll emotionally – and for many of us, it does,” he said.
But one thing that Jeff said keeps us going is this: We simply wake up, brush our teeth, wash our face, do our dance and walk out the door, putting one foot in front of the other.
We keep stepping.
Despite the tragedy and the negativity in our world, Jeff talks about three important points to foster a sense of gratitude and help us on our way:
Try waking up 15 minutes earlier to practice some positive affirmations: “I am strong. I am capable. I deserve great things in life.”
Positive behavior + positive attitude = positive outcome.
Negative behavior + negative attitude = negative outcome.
Jeff warns us not to allow a negative outcome to make us victims.
“My friends: You are not a victim. You are a victor,” he said. “Stop being bitter and angry about life or life’s circumstances and choose to become better every single day. That is what we do.”
Remember: Self-care is not selfish. Make time in your day to take care of yourself, whether it’s eating lunch in your car and listening to music or self-help programs.
“Meditate. Breathe. Lower your anxiety. Get involved in yoga or pick up the golf clubs and go swing those sticks,” he said.
Jeff is putting together a golfing event in Myrtle Beach in April. For more information, go 
“As we wake up the next day, we move forward with one foot in front of the other. I think it’s important that we remember that everything we go through shapes us. Everything that we go through makes us the people that we are destined to become.”
Life is a series of victories and defeats.
“Some victories are epic, like the Houston Astros. Some victories are a part of life, like little league baseball. Some defeats are forever life-changing [think the Las Vegas massacre or the and the October truck attack in New York City], and yet a high school football team loses too.”
Jeff reminds us that we are not victims in life, and we should never play that card. We cannot have that mindset. We are not victims. We rise up and become victors.
But I’m thinking of gratitude – we are not a victim in life – we can’t play that card. We can’t have that mindset. We are not a victim. Rise up and become a victor.
“We can all be bitter and angry over circumstances and situations, but what does that do? It doesn’t help. Let’s choose to become better. That’s a mindset,” he said.
We all have a story, but do our stories define us – or do they shape us?
“Do you live your life for titles or testimonies? That’s a matter of being selfish or selfless. My friends, I want to invite you to be really specific about something you are grateful for. As a matter of fact, I challenge you to go back to a painful moment in your life – and I want you to find gratitude in that situation.”
Find out why Jeff Yalden is North America’s Number One Youth Motivational Speaker. Go 
