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You are here: Home / Archives for Depression

Rochester & Rochester Hills School Communities

May 8, 2020 by Jeff Yalden Leave a Comment

 

Thank you for having me speak to day.

Here are some references for you all:

The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. – Please Consider a Donation

  • The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc., a 501c3 Non-Profit Foundation for Teen Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. (Click Here)

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Today’s Presentation:

  • Power Point Slides: May 8, 2020 Presentation (PDF Rochester Communities PowerPoint)

Jeff Yalden (Email)

Website: (Click Here)

FREE Books:

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19 28 Day Boot Camp for Teens Workbook

Motivational Posters:  Posters Motivational+PDF’s+2019

The Jeff Yalden Foundation: The Jeff Yalden Foundation, Inc. Donate

FREE Link School Community Teen Suicide Prevention Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/access32545464/9a6d8752c7c

FREE Meditation Course: https://jeffyaldenuniversity.clickfunnels.com/optin1586289965594

Teen & Family Life Coach: https://jeffyalden.com/teen-life-coach/

 Teen Suicide Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K2M6QCB

Best of Jeff Yalden Videos: 

  • TEDx Talk – https://youtu.be/nP_xXPvJctI
  • Tippicanoe Valley High School – https://youtu.be/rpfVjoYAgik
  • Barnard, MO – https://youtu.be/KAKnjeFyRR0
  • High School Speaker: (Click Here)
  • High School Motivational Speaker Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Mental Health & Suicide Prevention in High School: (Click Here)
  • Teachers and Staff Speaker: (Click Here)
  • Teacher Staff Development Playlist Videos: (Click Here)
  • Teen Suicide Behaviors & Responding in Crisis: (Click Here)
  • Why Teens Self-Harm: (Click Here)
  • Reference Letters (Click Here)
  • Jeff’s Brochure (Click Here)

Visit Jeff Yalden University for More Courses for Teens and Families (Click Here)

Rochester and Rochester Hills, MI – Teen Suicide Prevention and Teen Mental Health Talk by Jeff Yalden

Filed Under: Anxiety, BOOM, BOOM 28-Day Boot Camp, Depression, For Parents, Gratitude, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Rochester, Rochester Hills, Suicide Prevention, teen depression, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide

MENTAL ILLNESS: THE GREATEST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS OF OUR TIME?

January 15, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part three of a series of principles based on Jeff new new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.
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We can no longer sweep mental illness under the carpet…

Teen suicide and the opioid crisis are crippling communities on a scale we have never seen. We have major issues on our hands that point to an underlying component of mental illness – and if the stigma surrounding mental illness leads to under-reported suicides, who is to say that an overdose isn’t a suicide? A death certificate might attribute the cause of a death to suicide, but oftentimes we have no idea about intent.

According to USA Today, more than 175 Americans die daily of drug overdoses – which is greater than the number of teens to make the forever decision to take their lives.

What do we do, then? Can we sit idly by and hope the government will step up and do something, or can we empower ourselves by coming up with our own solutions…

Coming up with the answers ourselves seems like a much better idea.

We all need to step up, and that goes double if we are parents. We need to be present – ready and willing to talk about the issues facing our kids in this complicated world.

Yalden - Teen Suicide - Cover.jpg

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that some 300 million people worldwide are affected by depression. That number proves that depression is the most common mental health issue – and depression can be the catalyst that leads people to suicide.

Depression falls under the umbrella of mental illness – and if any diagnosis related to mental illness is ignored or left untreated, a quality life of joy and happiness could be very difficult. Is this you?

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Approximately 44,000 Americans die by suicide every year. One person out of 25 who attempt suicide will succeed.

As if the above heartbreaking statistics weren’t enough, suicide takes a heavy toll on the national economy. The Education Development Center at Brandeis University cited research putting the national cost of suicide at $58.4 billion based on reported numbers alone (much of this represented by lost productivity) – but determined that the cost has been significantly underestimated.

“The researchers calculated that the annual public cost of suicide attempts and suicides in the United States is approximately $93.5 billion—nearly twice previously thought. Their study appears in Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, the official journal of the American Association of Suicidology.”

Our teens are suffering, and the number of teen deaths by suicide is rising. It is truly a public health crisis.

Paying close attention to teen mental health is the new normal for us. We – parents, teachers, school staff, coaches and administrators – need to accept this and understand the responsibility we all have.

To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, call 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Jeff Yalden, Jeff Yalden Foundation, Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, Teen Suicide

Teen Suicide and Mental Health

January 11, 2020 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Part one in a series from Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic
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For more than two decades, I have worked in the trenches of teen life as a youth motivator and mental health advocate. I am also a suicide prevention and crisis intervention expert. I can’t count the number of teen suicides I have been through with parents and families who have lost a child to what I call “the forever decision.” I have met students who wished they didn’t have to bear the unspeakable anguish of losing a friend to suicide. It’s staggering. I am also a man who proudly lives with mental illness. I am diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Because of my work and my mental health challenges, I feel that I am in the unique position to help others by telling my story and utilizing my strengths as a public speaker and motivator to break the stigma attached to mental illness and teen suicide. Some of you might know me from my Amazon bestseller, BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day! That book was a joy to write, and it’s packed with principles to motivate and inspire readers of all ages. I am happy that folks find it helpful, and I am grateful. But because mental health is forefront in my life and work, I recently put together a nonprofit, The Jeff Yalden Foundation. Our mission is simple and direct: to prevent suicide, improve community mental health, and shatter the stigma of mental health by initiating a positive movement to speak up and reach out. No man is an island. I don’t want to be a “voice crying out in the wilderness.” We are all about expanding the conversation about mental health and teen suicide. I believe it is imperative that we all get comfortable with being uncomfortable and talking about these things. Because teen suicide has reached epidemic proportions in recent years, it weighed on my heart to get to work on my latest book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.  It was a tough book to write, but I felt that it would serve as an ideal starting point for folks to get a grasp of the severity and scope of teen suicide in this country. It also lays out the signs and red flags, and what to do if you know a young person is at risk. This blog post is the first in a series distilled from my book – yet another way to keep the conversation going. WHAT IS MENTAL ILLNESS? The National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH] states that nearly one in five U.S. adults lives with a mental illness. In a room full of people, you can count on the fact that all of them are going through some type of challenge, and some of them are struggling with a mental health issue. But mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a medical problem, like diabetes or heart disease – and it’s high time that everybody realizes this. The short explanation is that mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion, or behavior. Mental illness is common. In most cases, it’s treatable. The vast majority of individuals with mental illness continue to function in their daily lives. You might find this definition from the NIMH useful: “Serious mental illness is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder [excluding developmental and substance use disorders] resulting in serious functional impairment, which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life disorders.” TEENS DON’T WANT TO DIE Most teens that attempt suicide because they may have depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder. These disorders amplify the pain a teen may feel. It is because of this that every suicidal teen should be seen by a medical professional immediately and that all threats and/or red flags be taken very seriously.
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It is my position that teens don’t want to die. They attempt or succeed in suicide in order to escape bad situations and/or painful, overwhelming, and emotionally-charged thoughts and feelings. Remember: Our young people live in the here-and-the-now and lack the coping and problem-solving skills they need to see a situation clearly. To them, perhaps a temporary situation in their lives is seen as the end of the world. I am a huge advocate for therapy and counseling with a trusted adult – a professional who specializes in mental health and can guide a young person through suicidal thoughts and teach them how to process and respond to their thoughts and feelings. YOUNG PEOPLE: If you are finding ways to justify taking your life, a simply switch in thought patterns can reduce the negativity and help you build better coping skills. If you are afraid of going to see a counselor, let me ask you this: What’s the downside? You may say the stigma is the downside – but this is your life and you want to be healthy and successful. Do not be ashamed about seeking and asking for help. A tough person is one who has the courage to ask for help. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s ALWAYS OK to ask for help. The more we talk about mental illness and teen suicide, the greater the awareness, acceptance, and resources become for our communities. To find out more about The Jeff Yalden Foundation, go HERE. ORDER your copy of Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic.

To book Jeff for your school, event or conference, 1-800-948-9289

You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Mental Health, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Best Youth Motivational Speakers, bipolar II disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Crisis Intervention, Depression, Mental Wellness, NIMH, PTSD, Suicide Prevention, Suicide Prevention Expert, Teen Mental Health, Teen Suicide, Teen Suicide Speaker for Professional Development

It’s Never Too Early to Talk Mental Health and Suicide Prevention

December 28, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

    https://i0.wp.com/www.eastquogue.k12.ny.us/NewsImages/Homepage-1.jpg In my career as a youth motivational speaker, it’s not often that an elementary school brings me in to speak – especially in the areas of mental health and suicide prevention. But this was exactly where I found myself early this month in East Quouge, New York – a community on Long Island. This was part of a comprehensive three-day program for fifth and sixth graders, teachers, school staff and parents. I don’t normally address this age group for a number of reasons. They say we want to talk about suicide and mental health, but to what degree? This is a tough age, and I was conflicted with what I know to say and how it would be received by teachers and parents. But when we had our initial phone call, we agreed that I would be a good fit. These young kids were amazing. The administration was amazing. I asked the kids questions, and many of them raised their hands in full understanding of what I was talking about. To be frank, I toned things down to their level, but I didn’t sugarcoat anything either. After that assembly, I was approached by a teacher with a student who wanted to chat. It didn’t take long to realize that this child was in crisis and asking for help. An hour later, this child was receiving much-needed help, and I couldn’t be prouder of this vulnerable student’s courage to speak up. I was impressed with the administration. Some admitted that my message was a little deep and at times uncomfortable – and a couple of teachers were a bit shocked by my content. They didn’t realize how many of these young people related to the message. It’s a strange feeling to have been aware of what these kids were thinking and feeling, while also knowing that their significant and trusted adults might have preferred to avoid the truth and shelter them because they were so young. I was also conflicted because I wanted to be sure of my place. I was just a visitor planting seeds and explaining what I deal with every day. I have a couple of questions… Do you think having the truth spoken is more important than avoiding the subject because we think it’s too heavy? Do you think we should remain quiet because we don’t think a fifth grader doesn’t think about suicide? Do we think sixth graders are too young to be overwhelmed, anxious or stressful? My three days in East Quogue were meaningful. I met with parents, individual students, and got to visit classrooms. I spent a day with the school psychologist. We had a substantially positive reaction to the message for this age group. My heart is full. I am very thankful to have been invited to East Quogue. The lows and highs were a little too much for me, but we advanced the conversation about self-harm and teen mental health. We opened eyes and brought people together. This is what matters.

#1 Best Seller in Two Categories: School Safety and Psychology

Teen Mental Health Speaker: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic. His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic   Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide

Filed Under: For Parents, Teachers and Staff, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Anxiety, Depression, East Quogue School District, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health in Schools, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide Prevention

A Conversation with Isabella

November 27, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

One of the greatest things about my work as a youth motivational speaker is that I get to plant seeds, give hope and inspire young people. One of the most challenging things is that sometimes I get to help, but I might not know the end result of the work I do. Thankfully, I know the end result when it comes to my friend Isabella, whom I had the chance to talk to a year after I met her. She is now 18 and has granted me permission to make the VIDEO included with this post. Last year when I met with her at her school, we made a decision together – and Isabella did the work. What broke my heart then was that we had to put her into an ambulance alone for a ride to a hospital more than an hour away. But when I recently returned to the school community, I couldn’t wait to hear about how she is doing now – and I want to share that progress with you. I’m a fan.
The following is an edited transcript of the above VIDEO: YALDEN:  How are you doing, Isabella? It was a hard day a year ago… ISABELLA:  It actually was, but what was really hard was accepting that I did need the help. I went on this hurtful journey of depression and PTSD – feeling like my auntie’s death was my fault. I believed it was my fault. I believed that my mom’s sadness was my fault – and that caused me to go into a deep, deep depression. I felt like I was locked. This little girl inside me wanted to get help, but we were afraid. Jeff Yalden came to our school and was talking about mental health and how to help people – and he was the key to that lock. I came and talked to him. I told him about what I was going through, and he told me what we were going to do. At first, I was afraid. It wasn’t an exciting journey, but I needed to do it. I needed to get the help I needed. Yes, it was sad that I was going to be leaving my school and going into this hospital – but I was happy to get the help I needed. I want to thank Jeff because, even though he said I did the work – nobody would have said I needed to go and get help. It was that encouragement… YALDEN: Thank you. I couldn’t be any more grateful, appreciative or inspired – but ultimately, I never want to send someone to the hospital without them having ownership. If you don’t have ownership, you are not going to take it seriously – you are not going to be honest. What made you that day want to listen to say, “I need help…”? What made you think you were ready? ISABELLA:  Seeing my friends cry, honestly. I have one friend who he watched me through this depression. He had seen me cry and have breakdowns. I didn’t want to see him cry, nor did I want to see my mom cry. I wore a mask around here. I faked happy and pretended everything was OK – but behind closed doors, I let out all of my feelings.  I felt like my life was worthless, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. And so, that’s what gave me the ownership to say, “Jeff – I need the help…can you please help me,” and you did. I came back a year later. I did miss some school, but I got back, and I went to summer school – and now I am graduating with 30 credits.  I never really thought that I would be here – here right now in this school. I didn’t think I would live to see this day because of my depression. All I can tell you guys is – TALK! I know it’s scary to talk to a trusted adult – but honestly, it helps a lot. YALDEN – When you open up, you actually feel like there is less anxiety and you feel better, right? And you did the work despite the fear of the unknown. You pushed through and here you are on the other side. Can you give kids – 17 and 18 – permission that it’s OK to talk? If you have pain in your heart, what you don’t speak out, you end up acting out. And we can’t help if we don’t know. ISABELLA: I give permission to 17, 18 and sometimes younger than that – because it’s not just teenagers. It’s middle-schoolers and surprisingly, elementary school kids – because they ARE bullied, and words hurt. And this is pretty off-topic, but don’t bully. You really don’t know what a person is going through. They could be fighting depression. They could be fighting something else. Just don’t add onto it. Why be mean when we are all put on this earth to be kind? I don’t like to be mean. I really don’t – and to any kids who are fighting depression and feeling like they are alone – listening to that voice in their heads – you are stronger. Jeff made me see that I am stronger. That voice in my head was just a voice. I have great friends. I have an amazing mom. And I have amazing teachers – so if anyone out there is struggling and feels like they are alone – talk to a trusted adult. Talk to a teacher. Even talk to your counselor, because you need to take that first step toward getting the help you need. Trust me – the dark side? You’ll get out of it, and you will come to the bright side. It’s so beautiful here. YALDEN: you have to be willing to lose your ego and open your heart. It is hard – but it’s part of growing and not being afraid to talk and ask for help. My friends, I was so inspired to come back to this community. I want to protect her identity – but when she came up to me after the assembly this morning, I just lit up There is a great outcome on the other side. You just have got to be willing to do the work.

Teen Mental Health Speaker: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as one of the top mental health experts in the world primarily focused on education and school communities working with teens, school administration, counselors, teachers, staff, parents and community leaders. He’s a four-time best-selling author including his latest book, TEEN SUICIDE: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic. His Podcast: Mental Health and Motivation continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on today’s mental health conversations for teens and adults. You can learn more about Jeff Yalden by visiting his website – www.JeffYalden.com. You can also learn more about Jeff’s Suicide Prevention Online Course for School Communities and Parents, Jeff Yalden University, and follow Jeff on YouTube and Social Media by clicking on the links below: For more information, please visit www.JeffYalden.com or click on any link below: Online Suicide Prevention Course for School Communities Book: Teen Suicide: They WHY Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic   Facebook Page School Resources Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Life, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide Tagged With: Depression, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide Prevention Expert, teen depression, Teens

Jeff Yalden: 7 Rules of Life

October 30, 2019 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Mental Health Motivational Speaker Jeff Yalden
The more we get to know ourselves through counseling, wisdom, experience and daily self-care, the more comfortable we are with who we are, what life means and how we live. Enjoy my seven Rules of Life and it is my hope that you find peace, love and joy in your mental and physical well-being, just as I continue to do every day:

1. Let It Go

You are only one person. You can only do so much. If you can change a situation for the better, do so. If you can’t, let it go. Show up every day and do the best you can.

2. Ignore Gracefully

Don’t participate in drama or outside noise. Don’t listen to other people who put you down or don’t believe in you or your dreams.  Ignore those who fail to validate you or are just plain rude. Live a life that is empowering to you. Be graceful in how you respond, act, speak and do. Remember, it’s their issue. Not yours. And if people walk out on you, LET THEM GO!

3. Give It Time

We’re connected 24/7, 365 days a year. Time is at a premium and there never seems to be enough of it. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Choose to bring back time by being mindful and present. Although life is about being in the moment, we must also have patience in the process of living. Perfection doesn’t exist. You matter. Perfection doesn’t matter.

4. Don’t Compare

We live in a world where everyone is trying to live a life compared to what they see on social media, and it can become an addiction. What you are accustomed to is embellished, filtered and photoshopped, depicting an image of a lifestyle that isn’t real. People are making it look like their lives are perfect and yours doesn’t measure up. Don’t get caught up in other people’s fake lives. Put the phone down and connect with people your heart to theirs.

5. Breathe & Stay Calm

It will be OK. Just breathe. Stay calm and don’t act on emotions. You don’t need to answer that email or text right now. Take time for yourself. Have balance and boundaries. Have a trusted friend that you can talk to and vent and know they’re supportive and nonjudgmental. Don’t ever be afraid to seek a counselor or therapist to learn tools for coping, communicating or problem solving. Remember, they work for you. Just breathe. It will be OK.

6. You Are Responsible

The most powerful two-letter-ten -words in the English language: “If it’s going to be, then it’s up to me.” Tough times happen. It might be your fault, or it might not – but understand this: How you move forward from anything is always your responsibility. What are you going to do? Don’t be a victim. Choose to be a victor. Don’t be bitter or angry. It does no good. Choose to be better every day. Be responsible in your behavior, your attitude and the choices you make.

7. Smile

Love will always be stronger than hate. A smile will always be better than a frown. You’ll feel the smile yourself and your smile will brighten someone else’s day. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. If you can’t find a reason to smile, try this: Choose three things you are grateful for and reflect on being appreciative. Replace expectations with appreciation and gratitude.

Life Isn’t Easy

Life isn’t all rollercoasters, unicorns and rainbows. Expectations leave us disappointed. We live in an imperfect world. Things aren’t always fair nor are they black and white. Don’t get caught up in the complications of life. You can only do or be in control of so much. This can be overwhelming when you see it all in front of you. Relax. Breathe. Simplify. At the end of the day, you can’t change people, places or things. You can control you and how you live, act, and respond to people, places, and things. Live with grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. Learn self-care and advocate for your own best mental, physical and spiritual health. Be influential. Be the light for others. As Gandhi said, “Be the change.” Live in a way you wish others can live their lives. Thanks for letting me share my 7 Rules for Life.

Teen Mental Health Motivational & Educational Consultant: Jeff Yalden

Jeff Yalden is highly regarded as the number one Teen Mental Health Speaker in all of North America. Jeff is a Suicide Crisis Intervention Expert and Suicide Prevention Trainer working with hundreds of school communities every year. He’s an Amazon Best Selling Author of four books, including Teen Suicide: The WHY Behind Today’s Suicide Epidemic and BOOM: One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day!  His podcast, Mental Health & Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach continues to attract thousands of new subscribers every month for his direct talk and influence on families and teens. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has traveled to 50 states and 48 countries delivering his message, “About Life.” From 2005-2011, Jeff was a celebrity teen and family life coach on MTV’s hit realty show MADE. As a celebrity teen & family life coach, Jeff gets the heart of the matter helping teens, young adults, families, and communities in their struggles together. He’s a Gulf War Veteran and a two- time Marine-of-the-year recipient 1991-1992. He was Mr. New Hampshire Male America, 1990. Every year over 1 million people are left inspired by Jeff Yalden’s inexhaustible energy that permeates after he speaks. Jeff has an online suicide prevention course for school communities, parents, teachers, staff, and teens. Check it out HERE. For more information, please visit www.jeffyalden.com and www.thejyf.org PURCHASE Jeff’s new book, Teen Suicide: The “Why” Behind America’s Suicide Epidemic Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/jeffyaldenfoundation Click HERE for school resources. Join Mailing List: Text YALDEN to 66866

Filed Under: Life, Mental Health, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose, Self-Care, Success Tagged With: Anxiety, best youth speakers, Depression, High School Motivational Speakers, Inspiration, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speakers, Motivation, rules to live by

TEEN SUICIDE: THE “WHY” BEHIND THE EPIDEMIC

March 7, 2018 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

My name is Jeff Yalden. Many know me as a youth motivational speaker. For 26 years now, this has been my passion. Since 1992, I have presented to more than 4000 live audiences at schools, colleges and mental health organizations in this country and around the world – and it is an absolute joy to inspire young people – to see their faces light up when they experience an A-HA! moment – and to help guide them on their lives’ journeys. That being said, I am also a teen suicide prevention and crisis intervention expert. This is the tough part. I have grieved with so many families over the years, and with each devastating loss, the heartache and pain – the very idea of trying to be a source of hope and comfort only compounds the sobering realization that the teen suicide epidemic continues to grow. Mental health is not just a family issue anymore. I think it’s quickly becoming an economic issue that could become the biggest public health crisis of our time. The biggest problem I have is that schools today are afraid to talk about suicide. I get it. I understand, but we need to reach a point where we get comfortable about being uncomfortable. But I’m here today to talk about the WHY behind the teen suicide epidemic. Back in 2005, a professor at Florida State University, Dr. Thomas Joiner, published his theory on suicide – specifically his “Interpersonal Theory of Suicidal Behavior.” His theory points to two factors that contribute to suicide:

“I am alone,” and “I am a burden.”

And what this means is…

The “I am alone” – which is, as Joiner says, a “thwarted belongingness” – represents a belief on the part of the individual that she or she does not have any meaningful relationships.

“I am a burden” – which is a “perceived burdensomeness” represents a belief on the part of the individual that he or she does not make any notable contributions to the world. They think that they serve as a liability.

So, when you have the “I am alone” and the “I am a burden,” – that kind of creates the DESIRE FOR SUICIDE – which becomes the capability for suicide over a period of time, and Joiner here again – the “capability for suicide is acquired largely through repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences. This results in habituation and, in turn, a higher tolerance for pain and a sense of fearlessness in the face of death.” Habituation is a fancy term for getting used to something. I became a fan of Dr. Joiner as I got into researching the topic of suicide – but more specifically Teen Suicide. When you get to the “I am alone” part, you are like, WHY? Why do teens feel alone today? Why do teens feel like they are a burden – and that they serve as a liability? And then – why do they just feel so hopeless? In all my work in the trenches with teens and talking to teens, I have come to believe that even the most troubled teens don’t want to die. I think it’s that they can’t find a solution to their problems – that the solution is so far out there that they can’t solve it and move forward. Remember: Today’s teens live in the here and the now. Teens don’t know what they don’t know – and there is no way for them to know what the future can hold. And today’s teenagers – the Generation Z kids born from the mid-1990s to the early 2000s – are the first teenagers to not know what’s it like to grow up without a smartphone. Let’s look at this: As much as we say suicide is because of this or suicide is because of that – it’s bullying, it’s cyber-bullying, it’s this, it’s that – suicide is never the result of one thing – but one thing can certainly be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The reality is that 90 percent of teen suicides go back to mental illness – and if you think about today’s teens – two of the biggest challenges that we have are coping skills and problem-solving skills. In my work, I find that that teenagers have a really tough time communicating – sharing their feelings – trusting in the circle of adults in their life – and so – when you ask me, “Hey Jeff – what is the greatest thing that you can give teenagers today,” I don’t even hesitate. I say, “self-esteem.” But where does self-esteem come from? Self-esteem comes from being challenged and overcoming those challenges. I think self-esteem comes from social interaction. It comes from involvement with your friends and family – relationships. Self-esteem comes from being outside – coping through life – problem-solving through your challenges. Self-esteem is something we build every day as a result of being more active. I think three things are really important to a teen’s mental health:

1) SLEEP 2) NUTRITION – Today’s teenagers are consuming over 200 grams more sugar a day than they should be consuming in a 24-hour period – and sugar is directly related to depression. 3) MORE ACTIVITY/MORE SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT

These three things play a significant role in one’s mental health. Some say that Generation Z – the young people born after 1995 – are more likely to experience mental health issues than their Millennial predecessors. Today’s adolescents are at even greater risk of mental health problems – and so you keep asking the questions “Why are today’s teens worse off than the Millennials?” And then, “Why are today’s adolescents in worse shape than Generation Z?” Why… Let’s look at 2012. That is the time when smartphones surged into the lives of our teens – and with that, in 2012 – over 50 percent of our teens had smartphones, so they started to get more invested in social media, YouTube, the Internet, group texting – In 2015 – they say over 73 percent of our teens had access to a smartphone. Today – 2018 – over 90 percent of our kids have access to a smartphone. From 2012-2018 – in those six years, the smartphone became something that was very much more common in the lives of our teens. Not just more common, but more widely-used for longer periods of time. From 2010-2015, surveys said that 35 percent of teens felt alone and a burden. Feeling alone and a burden, going back to Thomas Joiner’s theory from 2005 – well, those are symptoms of suicide – and they are symptoms of suicide today. They even said that suicide surged 23 percent – and teen suicide surged 31 percent – and that’s where we are at. These are alarming numbers causing great concern – and we are asking why. Let’s not just jump to the conclusion that, “Whoa – Jeff is blaming this on smartphones.” Hold on. I just want to continue asking why. Why is this? Moving forward – 2012-2018 – that’s six years. More teens were depressed. Greater anxiety. Trouble communicating. Withdrawal. Social isolation – hopelessness – and seeing suicide as the solution to their problems. Again – why? All signs point to the sudden ascendance of the smartphone. As more and more teens gained access to a smartphone, more and more teens were feeling depressed – and suicide kept increasing in great numbers. It’s important to note here that these same surveys say that from 2010-2015 – the time doing homework barely budged. Why is this important? It’s important because it rules out academic pressure as the cause of teen suicide. So – here’s my theory: Smartphone? If you are on your smartphone four to five hours a day or more, you are 70 percent more likely to have mental health issues. Mental health professionals say that one to two hours a day is the safe zone. Going by these numbers – I think it’s pretty safe to say that time spent online affects a teen’s overall mental health. Right. OK. Now – could it be that instead of time online causing depression – maybe depression causes more time online, one might ask. And so – these studies show that this is unlikely. My theory: Depression might cause people to spend more time online – but why did depression increase so much after 2012? More teens became depressed for an unknown reason, and then started buying smartphones, which doesn’t seem too logical.

WHAT’S MISSING

You might say that online time doesn’t affect mental health directly – but it still adversely affects mental health in indirect ways – especially if time online interrupts time for other activities. That’s that social engagement – that’s the other activities with friends and family – less smartphones, social media – more time problem-solving, coping, and one-on-one communication.   Again – going back to self-esteem – it’s safe to say that a teen spending time online interrupts time for activities where they could be building their self-esteem – (what I just mentioned: coping skills, problem-solving, communication) – life skills that are essential to their growth as a young adult. I hope you are following me here. Teens spend much less time today interacting with friends and family. Without interaction, our moods start to suffer, and depression follows. Going back to Dr. Joiner – “I am alone – I am a burden.” Those two things lead to sadness. They lead to depression – and the “I am alone – I am a burden” – isolation is also a big factor in suicide ideation – better known as suicidal thoughts. Let’s look at the amount of time being alone – the amount of time where you feel you are a burden. That brings the desire for suicide – Dr. Joiner’s theory is making sense – more so today – and the capability for suicide grows out of repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences Now – this is starting to make a lot more sense when we look at time online – teens are more likely to be depressed, while making friends and engaging socially and in-person builds their self-esteem. In 2012, this is what started to happen: Online versus in-person social engagement. Online harms mental health. In-person social engagement benefits mental health. Remember: 90 percent of suicides. At the core, at the foundation are mental health issues. I already mentioned that proper sleep and nutrition are a huge benefit to the mental well-being of our young people. They also need to get more involved. This is good for their self-esteem. Is this research definitive enough? Maybe not. Is it too soon to recommend less screen time? The solution seems to be clear: If less screen time can help lessen your child’s chances of falling into depression, then the danger of doing nothing can be high. Think about the possible consequences. If we do nothing, then we’re taking a huge risk. A couple more things before I wrap this up: Going back to Dr. Joiner’s theory: “I am alone” is like, “I don’t have meaningful relationships. “I am a burden.” This is about expectations. Today’s teens have greater stress. They have the expectations that might not be realistic. They have the fear of not knowing who they are or what they want to do. That’s the “I am a burden.” And the desire for suicide – that’s the pain lasting and building up. Also – the Dopamine effect from the social media, the Internet and YouTube – it’s like – “I want more, I want more, I want more…” When you are spending four, five hours a day on your smartphone, the Dopamine effect is more and more and more – versus one-to-two-hours – you have less of the “I want more, I want more.” So what does all of this lead to? Our teens are on 24/7 – 365. This is leading to depression, isolation – a feeling that they are not worthy. They want to be validated with “likes” on social media – and social isolation is arguably the strongest and most reliable predictor of suicidal thoughts. Social isolation leads to loneliness, social withdrawal, living alone with little social support – living in non-intact families. All of this really isn’t helping. I think it comes down to vigilant parenting, less time online, more social and emotional learning – mindfulness practice – meditation – reducing the stigma of mental health, and letting people know that it is OK to ask for help. To wrap this up: Self-esteem: Again, social interaction, sleep, health, exercise, nutrition, activity. Self-esteem: Involvement, communication, coping skills, problem-solving skills. Self-esteem: You’re not afraid to ask for help. Social Isolation: “I am alone. I am a burden.” When our young people are interacting, they are learning. They’ve got friends. They are figuring themselves out – their identities – they are growing – they have trust – companionship – problem-solving and coping skills – laughter and better communication. A couple of things, lastly – Smartphone. Addiction. Isolation. Sadness. Loneliness. Lack of growth, The Dopamine effect. Diminished life skills. It makes sense that Joiner’s “I am alone” / “I am a burden” is a problem. You see where social media is really adding to that. And then the desire for suicide that emerges from suicidal thoughts stemming from repeated exposure to painful or fear-inducing experiences that these kids go through. Again – I don’t think students want to die. I think they live in the here and the now – and so they feel like they can never reach solutions to their problems and move on with their lives. And with the here and the now – everything is just so readily available to them. I mean, you text somebody and you get an immediate response. You pick up your smartphone and someone is automatically there. You go to the bank – and an ATM spits out cash. I think the biggest problems with our youth today are the lack of coping skills and problem-solving skills. If we could focus more on social and emotional learning in our schools, I think we would do an awesome job of getting our kids to spend less time on their smartphones and more time interacting – I think that would make a huge life-changing difference. For more information about Jeff Yalden, go HERE. Find out about Jeff’s new nonprofit, THE JEFF YALDEN FOUNDATION To book Jeff now, call (800) 948-9289

Filed Under: Depression, High Schools, Mental Health, Self-Care, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Author, Copycat Suicide, Crisis Intervention Expert, Cyberbulling, Depression, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, Suicide, Suicide Prevention Expert, Teen Suicide, Thomas Joiner, Youth Motivational Speaker

Mental Health – Full Transparency

October 10, 2017 by Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Mental health speaker Jeff Yalden took himself to the emergency room at a local hospital near his home in the Myrtle Beach area on October 8, after experiencing a bout with anxiety and anger over the weekend. Yalden lives with mental illness, and is a staunch advocate for full disclosure. “I think if you are really going to make a difference in this field, you have to be someone that deals with what you are talking about in order to make sense to the people living it with themselves, and that you understand what they are going through,” he said. The following was recorded Monday, October 9. I want to be completely transparent with you about what happened last night. I know there are a lot of people that don’t think that I should put this out there, but in my opinion, mental illness is rapidly becoming one of the greatest healthcare crises of our time. If we are unwilling to talk about it – if we are not willing to get comfortable being uncomfortable talking about mental health and mental illness – I think we are going to be doing a lot of people wrong – including ourselves, our loved ones and society. For those that don’t really understand why I do it:  I am very passionate about mental health – very passionate about mental illness. Number one, it’s my greatest challenge in my journey of life. Number two, it’s my work. I am very passionate about my work. I got home Friday, and I realized that I just didn’t feel happy. I felt edgy, and I knew that I wanted to relax on Saturday and Sunday. My schedule is very intense. I am doing a lot of work with teen suicide, suicide prevention and mental health in schools. I know some of you understand my work, but it’s hard to understand the depths of my work. There are times when I am in homes until the wee hours of the morning, talking to families. Sometimes I am just being supportive, giving hugs and saying it’s going to be OK – teaching the grieving process and talking about the grieving process – and understanding that, here’s a family or here are friends that lost a significant other or a child. I love what I do. I am not making any excuses. I’m passionate. It’s so deep in my heart. But I just wasn’t feeling good. Saturday, I just wanted to watch football and take it easy. I didn’t want to be around people. And Sunday, same thing, but a couple of triggers kind of set me off, but I was doing good emotionally.  I was just taking it all in. I was dealing with it. I was breathing. I was like, “OK – responsibilities – this is going to be OK.” Finally last night, something happened, and I’ll tell you – there are two things you can’t take back. You can’t take back time, and you can’t take back words. For somebody with bipolar or somebody that’s on the edge with major depression, words can trigger an emotion – and then as much as you try and calm down and relax, like, “it’s going to be OK,” I just flipped. And I tried really hard to keep it inside and to calm down. I took my Yeti and threw it at the wall. Folks, I’m not proud to tell you this. I would never hit [fiancee] Janet. I would never hit anybody. But then I just had some real choice words. Again, you can’t take back words, so I get it. I know Janet is really, really hurt. I am really, really hurt. I don’t really know what all this means tomorrow, going forward. I have to sort some feelings out. I know I need to make some changes. I have to catch a flight today. I want to take my meds and make sure they are all good, and do a lot of self-care – fix myself – because the most important thing right now is that I am healthy for my client. There’s nothing more important than that, because they put the trust in me professionally, and I put trust in me for my responsibility – being with young people – but the bottom line is simply this:  I threw something last night. I had some very choice, angry words. I didn’t throw anything at Janet. I just threw it right at the wall. You know, something about mental illness too is that you can say you are the adult, that you are responsible – that you have to control your anger. And I agree 100 percent. But sometimes you get in this fit of rage. Folks, I haven’t had this fit of rage in nearly 20 years.

Jeff at a recent event for NAMI – The National Alliance on Mental Illness

I just ran into my room, jumped in bed and tried to get comfortable and breathe it out – and I just couldn’t. Janet ended up leaving and going to her family, and that’s one of the things that was the trigger. It was Sunday night. I’m home. I have to leave on Monday. I didn’t want to go out at eight o’clock at night to go eat dinner. This has nothing to do with my love for the family. I just wanted time out for me – in my house, in my four walls. And Janet didn’t really understand that, so she ended up going. I didn’t mind her going. I just didn’t want to go. So, I was in bed last night and was having trouble calming myself down. It’s just really hard. I went to the ER, and I knew what was going to happen there. My doctor says, “Jeff, you know more about mental health that probably I do.” I study mental health. I live with mental health. I teach mental health. I get it. I think I was just going because I wanted to know in my heart that I was asking for help and doing the right thing. At that time, I did not know that I wasn’t taking my Lexapro [depression/anxiety medication]. I had a good talk with the doctor. No, I am not thinking of harming myself or harming other people. I get it. They have to ask those questions. But I needed to calm down. I am not one to take medications if I don’t need to take medications, but I knew that there was something else going on, and I told the doctor that I just need to bring [my] heart rate down. I need to just be able to go to sleep. The doctor gave me Klonopin [a sedative], and I researched it on Google. I took Klonopin when I got home. I didn’t take it before I was driving home. I let the dogs out and went to bed. I woke up this morning, just feeling  that my heart is really hurt. I’m calling the doctor first thing this morning – and my therapist – and just going to try to work on some self-care. I have got to hit the road, and I am on the road for quite a bit. But I think making sure that I am taking my Lexapro is going to make me feel a lot better. Part of the reason why I am sharing this and being so transparent is that this isn’t just about me. I know that I have a large following of people that value my opinion, my advice, and respect me as a person. I work in mental health, and part of me talking about it and part of me in the work that I do every single day – is really telling people that when you are struggling, it’s OK to ask for help. Folks, that’s exactly what happened last night. I know I hurt Janet, and I am sorry. She ended up leaving and going to be with her family and have fun – just leaving me alone. I get it. I can’t expect her to sit with me when I am in this anger and hate. I didn’t want to be alone, so I went to the ER. I just needed to calm down. Here’s the thing: When you are dealing with a family member or a friend that is suffering or living with mental illness and having an episode, first and foremost – do not ever let that person stay alone, because it is at those moments – I am speaking professionally right now, not speaking personally – it’s at those moments when someone is alone that they are not in their right frame of mind that they are more willing to do something that could be deadly. Let me recap: I was not there in that position last night. I know that I am not suicidal. I know that I would not take a gun. I know that I would not take a knife. I know that I would not hang myself. I know enough to just figure out how to take a timeout –to  go get help – go for a walk – go to the hospital. I know all that. But on the personal side – you, my friends – do not ever leave someone alone, even if you are not talking to that person. You’ve got to be patient if you are choosing to live with this person. If it’s too much for you, get out of the relationship, because it’s a lot – and in some regards, it’s not fair. I understand. But the worst thing you can do is ever leave that person alone. If you know someone who is not in their right frame of mind, and they are not able to make healthy decisions, doesn’t it make sense that you need to be there to make the healthy and the right decisions for your loved one? That’s one thing a lot of people don’t understand – ‘Jeff, how do I help?’ – You are not going against the person. You are just thinking more clearly for the person that can’t think for themselves. Some triggers can prompt a response. And when you are dealing with mental illness – depression, bipolar, PTSD – it gets in front of you. In that moment, you might want to react. I don’t think people want to take their life. I think there are a lot of people that just don’t know how to ask for help. I know there will be people that are going to message me after saying this – “you know, Jeff – you give too much information.” I know. But I also feel like,  with the work that I do – if I am not transparent, I am not as effective as I should be. I woke up this morning and I am asking “why”– why am I going through this and what’s going on. I haven’t felt like this for a long time. I took out all my meds  – how I have them packed for my trips, and I wanted to go through them. I go right to my Lexapro. That’s my depression and anti-anxiety [medication], and it works so good for me – and I realize that I haven’t been taking my Lexapro. When I put all of my pills out, how did I miss not putting my Lexapro in there? And I knew something wasn’t right, because when I was putting my pills together, it went so much faster than it usually does. But for seven to ten days, I hadn’t been taking my Lexapro. When I noticed that, you’re damn right I took one right away. I in my transparency to you, I want to just leave you with with this:
  1. Living with mental illness does not necessarily mean that your life is forever change, and you can’t live a healthy life. No. Not at all.
  2. You have to be aware and you have to be willing to ask for help – and I am good at that.
  3. Talking about it. I think we have a responsibility to talk about it – to help give other people awareness that mental illness is real.
  4.  I want to be an inspiration to those that are dealing with mental illness themselves – to say it’s going to be OK. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s really important that you practice self-care.I think it’s really important that you manage your eating and your exercise. That’s self-care too.
  5. Surround yourself with people that are understanding, compassionate and empathetic. If that’s not the case, then those are people that you probably need to put back into your acquaintances category of relationships.
I hope I made sense. To find out more about Jeff’s speaking programs, including suicide prevention, mental health, teen coaching and more, go HERE. To book Jeff now for your school or event, call 800-948-9289. FOLLOW Jeff on Facebook.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Care Tagged With: Anxiety, Depression, High School Programs, Jeff Yalden, Living with Mental Illness, Mental Health Speaker, Self-Care, Suicide Prevention, Teen Suicide, Youth Motivational Speaker

Teen Suicide: Jeff Yalden on the Forever Decision

June 6, 2017 by Roger Yale

Weighing on the heart of youth motivational speaker and author Jeff Yalden is the issue of teen suicide. He has grieved with so many families over more than two decades, yet with each devastating loss, the heartache and pain – the very idea of trying to be a source of hope and comfort – only compounds the sobering realization that teen suicide epidemic continues to grow. He recently recalled visiting South Nodaway High School in Barnard, Mo., just weeks after 16-year-old Baylee Hilsabeck made the forever decision to end her own life. “The first thing you notice walking through a school this size in a community this small is that you are not walking into a school – you are walking into a home. This is family,” he said. The fact that there were only 84 kids in the building made it painfully obvious to Yalden how much a tragic loss like this could rock the students and the general community. He remembered coming in for a day of counseling, humbled by the privilege and opportunity to be a source of hope to the community. “Let’s be honest: We are all a mess – and that is common ground. We must come together and pick each other up,” he said. “We come from different backgrounds – raised in different homes – but over the past 25 years of doing this, it doesn’t change that we need each other.” The problem is not going away. “More and more teenagers and adults are making momentary decisions that have a lasting impact. The forever decision is often made without thought.” The fact that many teachers and counselors said that Baylee was probably the most popular junior in her class proves that suicide does not discriminate. Her grandfather also committed suicide, and the two were very close. Nobody will ever know what prompted her to take her life, but there is some speculation that part of this might have had to do with health issues. “Baylee had a disease that was a little bit debilitating, but she learned how to deal with it. She had a great personality – vibrant and ornery,” Yalden said. “You couldn’t help but to love her, they say.” Yalden sat down with her mom and dad, read the suicide letter and saw Baylee’s bedroom. He also saw Baylee’s scrapbook at school, and helped her fellow students clean out her locker – a poignant moment, but one which gave these young people a sense of closure. At the family home, Yalden was hit with a realization. “For the first time in my life, I think I’d come to realize that not all suicides are a selfish individual act, and there’s so much more to explain how I feel about this situation – but Baylee knew what she was doing. It was a combination of many things, and I think Baylee was just really, really tired.” Yalden’s takeaway from visiting Barnard was moving. “My team and I got to witness laughter and joy as we shared the hope and knowledge to make this event a catalyst for change in the future,” he said. “Baylee was a very special young lady that touched a lot of hearts and changed a lot of lives.” To find out more about Jeff’s youth programs and suicide prevention workshops, click HERE. To order a copy of Jeff’s new book, BOOM! One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day, go HERE. Book Jeff now for your school, event or organization by calling 800-948-9289.

Filed Under: BOOM, High Schools, Teen Depression / Suicide, Youth Programs Tagged With: Author, Barnard, Baylee Hilsabeck, Copycat Suicide, Crisis Intervention Expert, Depression, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health, Mental Health Speaker, MO, South Nodaway High School, Suicide, Suicide Prevention Expert, Teen Suicide, Youth Motivational Speaker

Jeff Yalden on Mental Health, Suicide and Chris Cornell

May 25, 2017 by Roger Yale

Nobody will ever really know what prompted rock icon Chris Cornell to make the tragic final decision to end his own life on May 17. What we do know is that Cornell had just performed a sold-out Soundgarden concert in Detroit. The Daily Mail reported that he posed for photographs after the show and told fans that he would see them at the band’s next scheduled performance in Columbus, Ohio a few days later. Cornell was found dead later that night in the bathroom of his suite at the MGM Grand Detroit, and medical examiners ruled that he died of suicide by hanging – but as soon as that news came out, his wife, Vicky Karayiannis, took exception to this – stating that side-effects of the prescription drug Ativan might have led him to suicidal thoughts. Cornell, a recovering addict, was prescribed Ativan to combat his anxiety. His wife said in a statement that when she spoke to him by telephone after the show, she noticed that he was slurring his words. He told her that he may have taken “an extra Ativan or two.” According to family lawyer Kirk Pasich, the family will wait for toxicology results to see whether Ativan may have impaired Cornell’s judgement before his death. Karayiannis said that she knew he loved their children and would not hurt them by intentionally taking his own life. We also know that Cornell suffered from bouts of depression and agoraphobia, which is defined by Merriam-Webster as “abnormal fear of being helpless in a situation from which escape may be difficult or embarrassing that is characterized initially often by panic or anticipatory anxiety and finally by the avoidance of open or public places.” To the outside world, Chris Cornell had it all – a loving wife and children, a music career that helped change the face of rock ‘n’ roll – think Soundgarden, Audioslave and Temple of the Dog – and a reported net worth of $60 million.  Does his death prove that money and fame are not buffers against mental illness and that suicide can creep into all lives and socioeconomic situations? Suicide prevention expert and mental health speaker Jeff Yalden said that mental illness is not prejudiced toward any specific group and can plague anybody, rich or poor. “For many of these people, work and careers can be a challenge, but mental illness is something that you can learn to live with and function properly – but you have to address it. For Chris Cornell, I don’t know whether he addressed it. I’d be speculating,” he said. Yalden said that, from watching Cornell’s last performance, he appeared to be a shell. “He looked like had already checked out. It’s very sad,” he said. When somebody famous takes his or her life, the issue of suicide is brought into the spotlight – and Yalden has grieved with enough families to know that the issue is worsening. “I think suicides in general have been on the rise,” he said. “When it’s a rock star or a celebrity, I think the media sensationalizes it – and sometimes when you are a celebrity, your ego can get in the way of seeking help.” In the case of Cornell, Yalden feels that there should have been people in his life that could have seen the signs. “Somebody could have worked with him to have balance and boundaries so we wouldn’t be talking about this as we are now. His wife knew that he wasn’t doing well. His bandmates have had to know that he wasn’t himself. The problem is – if you are not looking for this, why would you see it. That’s the problem with all suicides,” he said. When the signs become obvious, that’s the time for family and friends to take action. But sometimes the loss from suicide is indeed unexpected and seemingly inexplicable. Yalden said that the symptoms for suicide are very similar to that of depression, and he has a three-point theory about teen suicide:
  • I am alone.
  • I am a burden and a liability to other people.
  • I have the desire for suicide.
Put these symptoms together and you have a lethal or near-lethal attempt to take one’s life. “Again, I am speculating – but I think the three-point theory is shown in all suicides,” he said. “Obviously, Cornell was alone in his hotel room that night. Maybe he had been on the road a lot and was missing his family. He may have felt alone.” As far as the burden component, in this case it might have felt like a burden to Cornell to continue to be the frontrunner for so many people – the lynchpin. “And there were so many people that idolized this guy and thought he was a legend – but the thing is, what good does that do if you don’t think you are that good yourself,” he said. Maybe he reached a point where he didn’t think he was as good as he was.” Another point of speculation is whether the Ativan caused him to think about self-harm. Side effects of the drug can include confusion, depression, thoughts of self-harm and suicidal ideation. There is also a disturbing trend recently reported on by NBC News about the upswing in middle-aged suicides. “Middle-aged suicide is becoming more and more problematic,” said Yalden. “Many people ignore that they are struggling with mental illness and don’t think they need help. Then they reach the point where – had they asked for help many years ago – they wouldn’t be suicidal. It’s just very sad.” Yalden said the warning signs for adults are very similar to those of teens. “Listen. If you have five or more symptoms of depression that last more than two weeks without it going away, that right there means you have red flags that you need to have addressed.” And it’s OK to ask for help. “I got a new pair of eyeglasses. I don’t know if the prescription is really working, so I have to go back and get my eyes rechecked. I’m not afraid to ask for that help. This is the same with mental illness. If we address mental illness, we could drastically cut down on our suicides.” Yalden called Cornell’s suicide very sad and unfortunate. “The bottom line is that if people saw the signs, they could have intervened and said something. They could have gotten him the help that he needed, even if that meant canceling some shows and taking a break.” To discover more about Jeff, visit: www.jeffyalden.com. Jeff is stoked about his new book, BOOM! One Word to Instantly Inspire Action, Deliver Rewards, and Positively Affect Your Life Every Day! Preorder it here. To book Jeff for your school or event now, call 800-948-9289.

Filed Under: Teen Depression / Suicide, Uncategorized Tagged With: Addiction, Ativan, Audioslave, BOOM, Chris Cornell, Daily Mail, Depression, Jeff Yalden, Mental Health Speaker, MGM Grand Detroit, NBC News, Soundgarden, Suicide, Suicide Prevention Expert, Temple of the Dog, Vicky Karayiannis

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